Points to Ponder: Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. - Samuel Ullman
I intend to grow old naturally, (Childhood and Youth)
and I intend to enjoy it every step of the way. (Falling in love, Family, Career, caring for Aging Parents)
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.** (Four Phases of Life)
Reflection: The past thirty days have been very special with respect to connecting with people I have known throught out my life; 35 of the people I have known since kindergarten, one of the first couples who welcomed me in Silicon Valley in 1975, 21 members of the great team from my last place of work (1997-2015), the person who was kind enough to help me integrate well into Intel 25 years ago, and many other friends and members of the family. I was fortuante to meet some in person and others through wonders of technology: Zoom.
For school friends, 51 years have passed but the enthusiasm we had in the old days had not passed from any one. A small team created a good singing and dancing program for our highschool reunion with the same degree of enthusiasm (despite some aches and pains) as in childhood that provided a lot of entertainment for the larger Zoom audience. It was Yesterday Once More. Sample Video from the practice session: Shardamandir Eight (one minute). Snapshots actual program Starts at 15 seconds.
During Zoom and Personal reunions with friends from my place of work we shared funny incidences from past that brought a lot of laughter and joy reminding us of The Way We Were. As always connecting with my family members around the world was a great source of happiness. Diffrent people from these large group of family and friends represent each of the four phases of life: Childhood, Youth, Family and Career and The Golden Years (all of my childhood friends and a few workplace friends). Though we are in different age groups, we enjoyed and laughed just like in the old times and sang and danced with the same enthusiasm.
But this reflection wouldn't be complete without mentioning how special this day (September 24th) is in my life. On Septmber 24, 1970, I got a letter from a girl in Philippines who became my 13th penpal, and eight years later my partner for life. We have grown together through the years like the flowers in the above photos, growing and enjoying in every phase; the most precious gift life has given to me. Happy 51years of knowing the person who has helped me learn the meaning of Living in the Present.
*Quote by Mark Levy **Quote by Mark Twain
Note: In May 2019, the reflection with the same title (Part 1) was published with the story of the amazing person who stays young at the age of 102 with his passion for painting. The readers comments in that reflection have universal message and are shown in the comments section of this publication as well.
https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2019/05/age-is-inevitable-aging-isnt-.html
Points to Ponder: It's a beautiful picture that represents a profound message. Uniqueness, the precious gift of Universe to each living being.
Now can you find which one or how many are different?
Credit for this puzzle: I a M F I N E @iamfine726 https://www.facebook.com/iamfine726/
Reflection: We are all created unique and special. Universe made us all having our own uniqueness. Some people have blue eyes, brown eyes, black eyes, some people can do this, some people can do that, some people are right handed, some people are left handed. Some people like art, some science and some other commerce. Some are dreamers, some are emotional and others are called practical. We were made for a purpose. What we need to do is to slow down, observe carefully and appreciate the richness of diversity. Then, the whole new world of opportunities opens up.
So now can you find which one or how many are different?
Thanks to Rekhabhabi for sharing this beautiful picture with a deep message about life and living.
Points to Ponder: Making fun is serious business.-Charlie Chaplin
Story Line: During his visit to USA in 1931, Charlie Chaplin was the only person in Hollywood Einstein wanted to meet. He got the opportunity during the premiere of the film City of Lights. A real humorous dialogue took place between the two legends:
Einstein: ‘What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!’
Chaplin: ‘True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say.’"
Reflection: Some Memorable lines from Chaplin
My happiest days are those in which I do good work.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.
The world cannot be wrong if in this world there's you.
Imagination means nothing without doing.
If you're really truthful with yourself, it's a wonderful guidance.
Some Memorable lines from Einstein
If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.
It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.
Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.
If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Points to Ponder: We are never really happy until we try to brighten the lives of others - Helen Keller
Story Line: Friday Reflections Through The Years ( a few sample images from 713 posts)
Reflection: What began in August 1985 as the stories I would tell our children on weekly Friday Evening rides became an asset while launching an Out of the Box Thinking class in the year 2004 in Penang, Malaysia and Cavite, Philippines. Participants liked the different concepts that were explained through stories of people, places and experiences. Per their request, Friday Reflection on internet was officially launched on August 5, 2005. Thanks to all for your encouragement, ideas, feedback and support for past sixteen years. ❤️🌅
Images above represent the seven values of Friday Reflections. Some of these were shared by readers and featured in reflections through the years.
Seven Values Are: 1. Keep on Learning New Skills. 2. Assume Responsibility 3. People and Relationships 4. Flexibility 5. Take Risks 6. Passion 7. Performance and Results.
POINT TO PONDER
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -MAYA ANGELOU
STORYLINE- by Rajiv ShahLet's try an experiment. I want you to turn the lights down. Sit back, close your eyes (only after you read what to do!) and try to relive your first important job interview.
What do you remember of the interviewer? Where did you go? Which company was it for? Did you prepare? What did you eat before? Did you eat at all? What were you wearing? What were they wearing? What did you both talk about? How did it end? What did you do when you got home?
And two final questions: how did you feel while you were on the interview and how did the interviewer make you feel?
Now turn on the lights, sit back upright and let's go over what you came up with. How many details did you remember? What was stronger; the details and specifics of the interview or how you were feeling? For me, and I'm betting a lot of you, the remembering how you felt was strongest. Please let me know in the feedback this week which was strongest.
REFLECTION
I recently saw an incredible film titled, “Waltz with Bashir” that talked about a study performed to test human response to memory. According to the film, a psychological test was given to a group of people showing ten various childhood images of them. Nine of these images were really from their childhood, the tenth being a fabrication - their picture pasted (photoshop)into a photo with a background of a fairground they had never visited.
Eighty percent of the subjects recognized themselves in the fake photo and believed that they had really gone to that fairground. The other twenty percent couldn't fully remember but when shown the picture a second time, the subjects claimed that they now remembered the image. What was astonishing was that both groups eventually linked an emotional attachment to the photo stating things about the photo being, “such a wonderful day at the park with my parents.”[1]
According to the film, “memory fills the holes (in ones memory) with things that never happened.” Based on this test, and possibly our experiment, what seems to be most important aren't the details of the memory itself - often we will make them up based on emotion - but how a given memory, event, or person makes us feel as Maya Angelou claims.
CITATIONS:
1 & 2. Folman, Ari. Waltz with Bashir. Sony Pictures Classics, 2008.
What one says goes through ears to brain for processing, what one does goes through eyes to brain for processing while what and how one feels goes to heart. That makes all the difference.
Rajiv;
Good Story. Years ago I gave one book to your Dad. It is called The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. There is a powerful quote from the book which is appropriate to share for your reflection.
"It is only with one's heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
You may have read this book. If you have not, it is worth a few hours of time. SM
Great Quote by Maya Angelou. This FR brings back memories of so many memorable encounters in my life. Let me share one for now and will share more later: In April 1984, I attended a conference about Quality. The keynote speaker for the event was Robert Noyce, co-inventor of Integrated Circuit (micro-chip) and founder of Fairchild and Intel. During the cocktails event before dinner my superior introduced me to Bob Noyce. He was very polite and spent most of the time inquiring about my background and made me feel so important that at one point I felt that I was the celebrity. As he was moving on to greet the next person, I asked him if he had any advice for me. He said " Young man, if you want to be successful in this industry, be ready to change a document before the ink is dry." I have never forgotten how he made me feel and also his advice.
Good and Bad memory both memorable.
When my wife's brother pass away, I need to spend time with her. I go to inform my boss that I need time off. He told me "Your wife's brother was overseas. Why do you need time off? I know he did not mean bad but not sensitive to what he said. 30 years pass and I cannot forget.
What I remember about my first interview? It was at 8AM. He took me to canteen and bought chai and snacks with his own money. Knowing that I was nervous, he made me feel at ease, starting with softer subjects. Later, when he called me to inform me that they had selected another candidate who was more suited for that job, he also informed me that his friend in another company had a job for my qualifications and if I would be interested. Yes, I got that job and I have not forgotten that kind man.
This was an instant hit, hit me directly in the heart and mind to choose words and actions carefully when communicating with everyone and anyone.
I agree feelings are much more powerful force within us versus the analytical/logical mind. I am reading the book "Switch: How to change when change looks hard" and it puts our feelings as the size of an elephant and our analytical mind as the rider on that elephant.
Thanks for sharing this. I think this is very true. I shall post it on my cube.
I needed to gather some information for a project during my Junior year in High School. My mom told me that Hewlett Packard was engaged in that area. I did not know any one at that company except the names of the founders. So I made a cold call to Mr. Packard's office. His assistant was polite and asked me the reason I wanted to interview Mr. Packard.
To my surprise she called me back a day later and gave me an appointment with Mr. Packard.
I will never forget that meeting. He was very courteous. He came to the door of his office to greet me, sat down in the chair only after I had taken my seat and inquired about my project. He gave me valuable information in those 30 precious minutes. While I was leaving, he walked to the door with me, shook my hands and said "Thanks for coming" and wished success on the project.
He was as tall as a mountain but as calm and humble as an ocean.
I had moved from my local language medium school in my home town to a college in larger town where the medium of instructions was English.
I wrote a letter of apology to Mr...., my college principal, for missing a meeting with him due to illness. He red marked spelling and composition errors and then posted my letter on the college notice board with a note: This is the level of English from a person who came with A grade rating from another province. Ridiculed me and my province in public.
I do not have any grudges against him. Later his daughter and I became very good friends. But that experience made me stronger. I have been very successful in my life, despite my handicaps in many areas.
Ah, a Memorial Day test! It's all relative (another senior moment to me). It's been so long ago; I can't even remember my first date or first kiss, etc.! All I remember is that I got the job.
Perhaps, it is for the better this way as there are more important things in my life now than "first" of anything. For instance, what the future world is like for the younger generations and what can I contribute. Sometimes we just need to forget and forgive in order to "Move-on". It's all relative; "happiness is ......".
As always, I enjoy the FR. Please keep it coming and thanks. Wishing everyone a great Memorial Day.
Rajiv,
Good thought provoking article. Your quote from Maya Angelou is very true for my particular case. One of the interviers for my first job after college was your Dad, Anand. I don't fully remember the details, but I do remember that his interview was different from the others. The other interviewers would ask me questions about subjects that I had studied, but Anand and I had a conversation, similar to the type that you would strike up at a cocktail party. At the time I thought this was odd, but many years later after I started conducting interviews myself, I realized that he was conducting a behavioral interview. He wasn't looking for whether I knew my facts, but was assessing how I would get along with the others in the group, whether I was trainable, and whether I had the right state of mind to succeed. I must have passed the interview because I was hired. And that was the start of a long friendship.
Points to Ponder: Lives of great men all remind us We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time. -- From A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Story Line: It was on this date (June 18) 31 years ago. I had just left my company campus in Fremont to go to Center of Performing Arts in San Jose to attend the memorial service for the man who had left this world after making major impact on mankind through his invention, entrepreneurship and statesmanship. My reason for going there was to pay my respect to the man who had left a lifelong memory and lesson in one short encounter I had with him in 1984. And I was not the only one. One Local Newspaper had seven full pages of tributes for this man by many people whose life he had touched. On the way, these stories started rolling through my mind. Here are a few told by some of these people.
There was a young man who had gotten a job at Fairchild Semiconductor to help pay for his schooling at San Jose State. During company sponsored ski trip to Tahoe, he and the fellow sitting next to him started chatting. This fellow showed a lot of interest in what this young man was doing as a technician and asked questions about his other interests. They chatted entire trip, had great time together and according to young man “He seemed interested in making me feel good about life in general and having a swell of a trip.” Only upon return he found out that this “nice guy” next to him was Bob Noyce, the inventor of integrated circuit and the founder of Fairchild Semiconductor.
During one industry event, a company CEO and his team ran into Bob. After CEO introduced his staff to Bob, he turned to one of his younger engineer who had just come to town to assist with equipment installation in Fab. “This is Dr. Noyce of Intel” The engineer shook Bob’s hand and asked “Which fab do you work at?” After the laughter subsided, Noyce humbly said, “All of them.” Little did the engineer know at that time that Bob Noyce was the founder of Intel and also cofounder of Sematech.
Then there was a story of Fairchild employees who were in LA for a conference. After a long day they were relaxing by the hotel pool and Bob Noyce came by. One of the salesman who was in jovial mood made a pretty good jackknife dive off the 3 meter board. As he emerged from the water he challenged Bob to top that. Bob climbed 3 meter board and made a perfect 2 ½ flip drive. Everyone was stunned. Several weeks later they found out that Bob was a college diving champion. Despite his many talents Bob never boasted about his accomplishments.
Bob used to sponsor little league baseball. Once while he was visiting his team, some kids offered him to bat. It was meant to be for fun. Once Bob got to the plate, his competitive spirit kicked in and when one kid pitched the ball, Bob hit it out of the ballpark. Then he ran through the bases and jumped with joy while landing on the home plate. Realizing there were no cheers going on, he looked at the kids and spectaors. Noticing their stunned faces, he realized what he had done and apologized.
There were many such stories filling the seven full pages of newspaper; people recounting how Bob loved to fly planes, how he motivated people to hang glide, scuba dive, and ski in scary places. He almost never missed company softball games. Then there were many memories of Wednesday meetings of the madrigal singing group he conducted, his encouragement to people to start new ventures, and his refusal to stop pursuing integrated circuits design venture when sales department strongly advised against it. I have treasured all seven pages and any story I have come across about Bob. But for now only one more….
Reflection: I had good fortune to meet Bob in March 1984, few weeks after I had joined Intel. I didn’t know much about Robert Noyce then that I know now. But just like the young man in the first story, he showed great interest in me by asking questions and made me feel good. His gentle smile, calm voice and humility are forever fresh in my mind. When I asked if he had any advice for a new person like me, he said “Young man (that was long time ago), if you want to be successful in this industry, be ready to change document before ink is dry.”
Studying the lives of people who have made an incredible impact on world, one thing stands out; there was no easy path. They encountered many hurdles and at each inflection point they had to reinvent themselves; learn new skills, try new approaches and continue their work with passion for excellence.
The life of Robert Noyce, the man who left the major mark on this world with the invention of commercially viable integrated circuits was no exception in this regard. Born in a poor family he worked in cornfields of Iowa after school, delivered newspapers and lived off hand-me-downs and produce from church members*. But his passion, perseverance and willingness to try new approaches resulted in the impact that continues to grow through the years.
In her tribute, his wife Ann Bowers summed it up beautifully “His ability to live fully was infectious and marvelous to live with. His most important legacy is the positive effect one can have by “going for it” in every way.
*the information contained in this sentence is from a wonderful tribute that was written by Michael Malone.
The various people’s memories are from newspaper tributes published in June 1990.
Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption
Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:
In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s. Here is her story:
She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.
During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*
Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.
Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.
Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself. She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.
Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”
“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”
Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time. She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”
This story was originally published in November 2008. Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.
As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.”
Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was incorporated in my work and personal life.
Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:
"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do' is a quote by Robert H. Schuller
I was interviewing for an internship at a high-tech company. I borrowed my brother's suit to accompany my long-sleeve shirt and tie. I borrowed my roommate's car that had no AC on a really warm day.
I signed in at the lobby, then was greeted by the hiring manager. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt and tie. Upon entering the conference room, I was introduced to a peer of the hiring manager, very friendly and all-smiles. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt but no tie. Next to him was their boss, very friendly with fatherly mannerisms. He was wearing a short-sleeve shirt and blue denim pants. Everything else is a blur.
I expected formal but was met with casual. Confusion probably sums up how I felt during and immediately after the interview. I was hired, so I must have said something they liked.
Posted by: California Guy | May 31, 2010 at 08:41 PM