Friday Reflections

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

Street Art

Point to Ponder: A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Glasgow High Street Mural: Artist Smug (Sam Bates)

Story Line: Following Murals are from the Street of Reykjavik

Artist Guido Van Helten

Artist: Sara Riel

Artist Name: I am still Searching 

Reflection: During recent visit to Glasgow and Reykjavik, we witnessed beautiful murals on the side of buildings. It was refreshing to know that the local government in those places encourages artists to displaycreativity on the streets. Photos above are a few samples of incredible artwork in the streets of those cities.

 

 

Spring Around The Pond

 

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' - Robin Williams

 

What does it take to take your idea/company of the ground?

Points to Ponder:

“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

Story Line: One childhood habit (fascination) that I have not been able to get rid of is to watch planes take off and fly. Even after all these years of growing up, I still go to San Francisco Airport a few times a month and spend couple of hours watching planes take off and land. 

What makes this magnificent creation of human mind and efforts; weighing more than half a million pounds (ex. 777, 747); soaring at 35000 feet; and traveling over 7000 miles without stopping; to take hundreds of passengers safely to their destination? 

Based on Aerodynamics, four forces are constantly at works to enable a plane to fly: Thrust, generated by engines and propellers, is responsible for forward motion of the plane. Drag, created by air resistance, slows down the forward motion. Thrust has to be greater than Drag for a plane to move forward. This is enabled through right powered engines and streamlined design. The third force is Weight, a gravitational force responsible for downward motion. And the final force is Lift, created by a balancing force of wind beneath the wings, which counters weight and pushes plane upwards. And most of the planes need one more and very important force, a human one: A Pilot.

So what do all these have to do with your idea or a company? This is where Human dynamics comes into play. You are the Pilot (inventor or entrepreneur) who needs to convert your idea (dream) into reality (destination). You are the pilot (employee, manager or a leader) who constantly needs to create more value for your stakeholders (investors, employees, customers and suppliers). You have to have the strong Thrust (Belief in your vision, Passion, Courage to move forward) to overcome the Drag (Ney Sayers, Roadblocks). You have to have the Lift (Willpower, efficient organization design) to rise above the Weight (Bureaucracy, Resource Constraints). You have to create a flight path (charter a course) and put your ideas/projects in motion.

How many planes return to terminal after the boarding gates close? How many times, or did you ever, hear about a pilot giving up once the plane reaches V speed of 150-180 miles/hour? Once you put your idea/project in motion, it reaches a takeoff point where forces of Lift (Passion) and Thrust (Willpower) overcome the forces of Drag and Weight. Yes, it takes a lot to get a plane off the ground. And there begins your journey to your destination.

But the journey is not over yet. What happens when a plane encounters turbulence or unexpected event? The pilot looks at the monitors (data) and makes necessary adjustments to altitude or flight path. How many instances do you know where a pilot has given up on destination (goal) or start a brand new journey (a program of the month/year) or dropped the plane all together? In such cases, not only that the passengers would not reach their destination; but it would also waste tremendous resources and do a great disservice to your stakeholders. Won’t it?

And what about a situation where the plane is cruising at 35000 feet in a nice weather (project/ organization is functioning well). It is in auto pilot mode (called Empowerment in corporate world). There are real time monitors and indicators constantly flashing. There are bells and whistles to flag abnormalities. Does it mean the pilot can sit back and take it easy? (Delegate his leadership?).

Reflection: Any entrepreneur or a successful leader never takes his eye off the ball. They are constantly monitoring their flight and do make necessary course correction; but they do not give up until they reach their destination.

And guess what? There is an old Airline saying, “A plane makes money only when it is in the air.” Similarly an entrepreneur or a good leader never rests. They are ready to take off to the next destination as soon as new passengers are on board.

The Hero's Journey

POINT TO PONDER: Follow your bliss. - Joseph Campbell

STORY LINE: by Rajiv Shah

We want to revisit one of our favorite stories, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. On first glance, Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story about marching to the beat of your own drum, following dreams, pursuing your passion in the face of adversity and forgiving others when they condemn you for doing so. It incorporates all these elements, but I realized upon my viewing of the entire film that JLS follows the classic Hero's Journey myth structure.

The Hero's Journey was popularized by Joseph Campbell who was a writer and mythologist. Campbell found that many classic stories follow a pattern (including Jonathan Livingston Seagull) and an extremely abridged explanation is outlined here that we can apply to our own lives:

The Call to Adventure - This is where the main character is at a point in their life where they are at the brink of change. Either the character can be seeking the change or the call to adventure comes from an unexpected source (death of a loved one, fired from a job, life is in danger.etc). In JLS this step is represented in Jonathan's need to fly faster and higher than any seagull before. In your own life is there something that you seek? A higher sense of fulfillment whether personal or professional, a yearning to explore, or a need to challenge? Whatever that thing is, that is your calling.
Refusal of the Call - The main character avoids the call due to doubt, familial obligations, expectations (societal, personal, or familial), or fear of the unknown. In JLS (around the 20 minute mark) Jonathan has flown higher than he ever has before but crash lands into the ocean. Injured and alone he floats on a wooden crate - for the first time doubting his calling, his belief in himself. He thinks, "I've got to live with what I am. I promise this day that I will be a seagull like every other seagull." Sound familiar? I don't think I need to illustrate how this applies to our own lives as many of us get stuck in this phase of the hero's journey, doubting our passion and ability.

Crossing of the Threshold/Road of Trials - The point where the main character reenters their journey is sometimes with encouragement from another and sometimes from an internal calling growing stronger within them. At this point there is no turning back, the main character ventures further into the unknown, past fear and doubt. The character will undergo a transformation from the experience (usually tough) and emerge with a new understanding and/or a new self. In JLS as is true in other works, this is can be the point of death though it is not always the case. In our own lives, and since you are reading this - you are not dead yet (at least I hope not...) - it can be a metamorphosis from your old way of thinking/self usually into a new one.
Apotheosis/The Ultimate Boon - The achievement of the goal. Moving to divine knowledge, transendence and attainment of the calling. In JLS this is the point when Jonathan has learned to fly highest, fastest, and is even able to transend his physical body. For us, well... I wouldn't know what this looks like and it would be foolish for me to try to teach anyone this as I'm searching myself. But I think it's in the search for this that we find peace and bliss, however brief or lasting. Some may find this in family, some in career achievements, and some might find it in jumping from one thing/place to the next. But when we find it I hope we take the next step:

Master of Two Worlds/Freedom to Live - With this new knowledge, bliss, and transcendence the main character returns to his place of origin in order to share those experiences with others and the world at large. This is so that others might find their own path and their own peace. In JLS this is done when Jonathan returns to the flock seeking to teach them that they can fly as high and fast as they dream. For us, it is the need to teach, to pass on what we've experienced in order to help another on their path. Paying it forward.

REFLECTION

The Hero's Journey is one that all of us have within us. It reflects the nature of our search for meaning. We all find it in different places but the calling is always there. Sometimes the fears and doubts get so loud that we don't take the journey and find what we are truly capable of. It's easy to given in and stop searching, deciding that what we seek can't exist.

This need, the quest for meaning, is not only reflected in stories like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but is ingrained in spiritual texts such as the Bible and the story of the Buddha. It permeates most TV shows and movies, from Lost to Batman. It can even be found in the cycle of birth. It is a mythology that is interwoven into the very fabric of our existence - in the little place inside of each and everyone of us that dares to answer the call and seek our greatest potential.

Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

Reader's feedback from the original publication on July 26, 2012 is included in Comments section.

 

 

Seeing Autumn in The Silicon Valley

Point to Ponder: There is beauty wherever we have the ability to see it; for beauty lies in the one that experiences it.--Sujat Shah

Story Line: A week ago while observing some of the majestic, autumnal colors on the trees on our street; I told my wife, “come out and look outside. There are beautiful autumn colors in the neighborhood.” She smiled and wondered aloud, “where have you been all these years? They have been here every autumn for last 20 years that we have lived here. ”Autumn In Silicon Valley

Newly Awakened, I drove around the Silicon Valley looking at the same things I had many times before, but started seeing them differently. Whenever I am travelling to different places and see such an immense beauty, I unleash the capability of my camera to its fullest and take many photos. So in order to be fair and nonpartial, I went around the neighborhood and let my camera roll. (except for the photos of Golden Gate Bridge and two subsequent ones, the rest of the photos are from the Silicon Valley.)

Reflection: This encounter reminded me of a reflection three years ago (Better than the Best) when a fellow traveler in Fiji asked us which place was the best amongst all we had been in the world. Below are a few paragraphs from that reflection.

My wife and I reflected on this encounter in the evening over dinner. We recalled every destination we have been to in last six months and all of them had beautiful places, cultures and people. A pattern emerged as all too often we would ask ourselves in each new place, “Can there be a place better than this?” And when the next encounter came, we wondered the same thing.

This feeling did not go away once we returned home and went to the marshlands in Palo Alto. My wife and I watched as this white egret glided past us, rising higher over the marsh, and into the distance against a spectacular view of the San Francisco Bay. It was free, it was graceful, and it was beautiful. And for a quiet moment we both just watched… Once it was gone, I finally had my answer. I turned to my wife and said, “This place. This is the best. Right here and right now…”

“Only later do we realize, in the next encounter, that beauty is everywhere in this world all around you: in nature, in cultures, and in people. If we can get in harmony with the present.”

Before the Show

POINT TO PONDER

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights  -Muhammad Ali 

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

I read that after Mother Teresa's death, her diaries were found to contain doubts about her religion, and her faith in God. There was a fear that if Mother Teresa, a saint ordained by the catholic church, had doubts about God and the meaning in her service, it would lead to questions about her sainthood.

    To me, those letters confirmed that she was even more of a saint than I originally thought. My reasoning, and this is only my opinion, is that her having doubts that she was human like the rest of us but chose to continue serving in spite of her doubts. To have no doubt means the path was relatively easy and free of conflict. But when you doubt, when the path is hard, and you still are able to overcome and succeed, that is a true sign of something remarkable. Mother Teresa's letters confirmed to me that she was even more admirable because she chose to continue helping people in spite of it. 

    For whatever reason we like our heroes clean and without human failings. We want the path to success to be clean cut and easy to follow. It almost never is and Mother Teresa's is no different. In her quiet moments away from the news and her foundations, she doubted. She questioned the very religion and service she was exalted for. And what makes her amazing to me is that she continued to do good in spite of those doubts and fears.

    It's human to question and to feel like we may not be able to accomplish a feat. It is human to doubt ourselves from time to time. It is in those times that we must conquer them on our own and face ourselves. We might not always like what we find but we must continue on. 

    It's very easy to remember a person's success, it's what we celebrate, but it is equally important not to forget all the hardship and work it took to get there.

 

Update: This article was originally published on August 23, 2012. Since then (on September 4, 2016) Mother Teresa was declared a Saint by Vatican. See the link below

Mother Teresa A Saint

 

Note: Readers comments from the original publication are included and may be worth a minute of your time.

 

Silicon Valley-A Drive Down the Memory Lane

 

Point to Ponder: While it may seem small, the ripple effects of small things is extraordinary.-Matt Bevin

Sand--Silicon--Semiconductor- Computers, Phones, Systems and Devices--The Way We Live and Interact

Story Line: The short video above captures some of the landmarks of Silicon Valley; The Garage where Hewlett Packard was formed, The place where the first Silicon transistor was made, The place where the first commercially viable Integrated Circuit was developed, The Garage where Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniack created the first computer and Apple, the place where Steve Jobs grew up, also where Steve Jobs lived in the later years, the beginning of Intel and some popular food places since the mid-1960s.

Reflection: About 12 years ago there was a visitor from Japan in my work place. After lunch there was a scheduled meeting to discuss business issues. Instead of going back to the workplace conference room, I offered to take him around some historic Silicon Valley places and during travel between the places, to continue our business discussion. We accomplished our meeting agenda and he also he went home very happy and created a very nice trip report that included the photos and narration of our sideline tour. Thus began the tradition of my Silicon Valley tour that has been enjoyed by over 100 people from many countries over the years. And for me they have been drives down the lanes full of memories.

Having spent five decades in this valley and seeing it evolve from mostly a farmland to the center of world's most innovative companies, their wonderful inventions and the experience of dealing with many cultures has been very fulfilling.

I had planned this reflection for almost a year. It was pure coincidence but an immense source of joy to find out that this week happens to be celebration of The Birth Place of Silicon Valley. Additionally Intel, one of the only two remaining valley semiconductor companies from 1960s, is still thriving and just celebrated its 50^th anniversary.

Who would have imagined then the immense impact Silicon Valley and its product would have on the world the way it has?  The last clip in the video sums it up well.

 

Two Days with Rory- in American Samoa

 

 

Point to Ponder: The people we meet every day is to teach us the dos and don’ts in life. It's really amazing. – a comment in last week’s reflection from CJS -Malaysia

Story Line: As I came down the elevator and entered the lobby of our hotel in Pago Pago, a tall white gentleman greeted us, “Hi! I am Roy West. You can call me Rory. I am going to take you around today.” For a minute it was a surprise because I was expecting a Samoan person to be our tour guide. But then I realized that the place was American Samoa; a part of USA territory. Samoa, an independent country was two days away per our itinerary.

The first place he took us was a garden nearby and introduced us to some local plants, herbs and fruit trees. In a later conversation we found out that he had graduated with specialization in a field of Botany from SF State.  As we drove through the beautiful tropical scenery with rainforests, volcanic mountains, majestic views of the ocean, beaches and small towns, Rory told us that he is originally from Oklahoma. At the age of 22, during a trip to Samoan islands, he fell in love with the area; nature, people and the lifestyle. He decided that it is the lifestyle he wanted and moved to American part of Samoa. He earns his living through landscaping and tourist guide professions; both in alignment with what he loves.

During the day he told us about the history of Polynesia, Culture, Plants and Wildlife. We noticed some beautiful homes that seemed abandoned. Rory explained that some of those belonged to outsiders who had moved to AS for its lifestyle but did not integrate with the local culture. That created resentment and noncooperation from locals and eventually outsiders got frustrated and left. Except for Pago Pago, the largest population city (appx 5000), American Samoa is made of many small villages with village councils as administrators. Understanding their rules, protocols, hierarchy is very important to be accepted; which he himself had done well. He lived in the remote area in the woods, his children and grandchildren went to village schools, he respected and followed cultural norms and mixed well with the local people.

Every town we went, people knew Rory. Even on a mountain top with a majestic view, where Miss Pacific Islander was doing a photo shoot, every one including her knew Rory. Rory has ten children and many grandchildren. While passing by a small town, we noticed kids playing in a school yard. Rory stopped and introduced us to two of his granddaughters. In a conversation about future opportunities, Rory said “All that you have to do is to teach your kids Farming, Fishing and Fixing essential things. Then let them go through their own thinking and they will figure out.”

A while later, when we had a compelling need to use restroom, Rory just pulled his car in to one small village home. He told us that we can use the restroom in the house. It belonged to his ex Wife. His elder son welcomed us and gave us drinks after we had accomplished the main purpose.

Rory’s stories were plenty and very captivating. After eight hours we still wanted to hear more. While dropping us at our hotel at Sunset, he invited us to join his wife and friends for the country music concert that night.

We had connected beyond the normal customer supplier relationship.

We went to our room to take little rest. Next thing we know is our room phone was ringing at 8 AM the next morning. It was Rory. He had assumed that we were jet-lagged and must have fallen asleep. But it was a new day and he wanted to know if we would like to join him and grandchildren to visit western part of the island. He came with some more grandchildren and a son we had not met the previous day. After enjoying majestic beauty of turtle and shark beach, we went for lunch where we met another one of his granddaughters and also more locals who knew Rory.

An hour later as we were clearing Immigration at Pago Pago airport to head to Samoa (an independent country), the immigration lady asked if we had enjoyed our stay. When I mentioned our experience with Rory, she said with excitement “Rory? Rory West took you around? My brother is married to his daughter.”

Even on our last stop, someone knew Rory. (Reminded me of that famous Maxwell house coffee ad “Good to the last drop.”)

Reflection: In one conversation during the day through the rainforest, noticing Rory’s very basic features cellphone, I said something about the Silicon Valley and Steve Jobs. Noticing no reaction from Rory, I said “You know who he is, right?” Rory replied, “I know who Rory West is; the person who believes in the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for all.” Then he looked at me and said with a smile, “Of course I know who he is, but you will hardly find anyone here who really knew who he was.” I understood. He was telling me to be in the present. Here. Now. Today. Out there Silicon Valley made no difference; not in the beauty and the wonders that were all around me.

Well, for the rest of the stay, I immersed myself in the surroundings and carried a bounty of wonderful memories to last a lifetime.

 

High Resolution Version of the video American Samoa

Your Children Are Not Your Children *

Answers to life's problems lie inside of you. All that you need to do is Look, Listen and Learn.

 POINTS TO PONDER

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. - John Lennon 
 

STORY LINE From Kahlil Gibran's* "The Prophet" 

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

* Kahlil Gibran was a Lebanese American artist, poet and a writer. 

REFLECTION

We wanted to thank everyone for their passionate, insightful, and astute comments regarding reflection - Two Sides of Success .Your differing points of view, thoughtful dialogue, and passionate comments are the best of what Friday Reflections can be. We encourage more dialogue like this. 

    We noticed that many of last week's comments were made by parents. Parents that loved their children, cared for their children, and worried for their futures. Jimmy Chin's story seemed to strike a chord because his story represented one of the greatest fears a parent can have  regarding the child they love - they want a different life than the one a parent has laid out for them. 

    One of the comments left by a concerned mother really hit home. It's a dilemma that many parents face regarding their children - the fear of failure, of harm, and the unknown. Often we forget that we were once that idealistic, passionate child where fear wasn't on the forefront of our minds. This particular reader was observant enough to say:

But then I am the same parent that did not put the Fear of anything in my sons' heads... Then why am I chickening out now? My mother allowed me to come to a foreign country for Grad school - going against all her in laws - who wanted to marry me off to some "suitable" guy. Was her risk taking justified - because - she was allowing me to follow my dream of further education and hence a perceived guaranteed bright future?

It seems that she was once like her own son in wanting a life different than what was expected of her. She didn't know where the roles had switched where her own son, like her, dreamed of a different life. The reader then asked a question that no one but her, her child, and the inevitability of nature can answer. She asked: 

How do you chose which passion/conviction to follow or let follow? When is the "right" time to follow your passions? What are the pre requisites? Mostly I want to know- What should be a parent's role in this or should they be?

      Your comments, and the questions of this concerned parent, got us thinking. It sparked us to post this reflection. 

* Repeat from January 17, 2013. Reader's comments from the original publication also included in this blog.