The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights -Muhammad Ali
REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah
I read that after Mother Teresa's death, her diaries were found to contain doubts about her religion, and her faith in God. There was a fear that if Mother Teresa, a saint ordained by the catholic church, had doubts about God and the meaning in her service, it would lead to questions about her sainthood.
To me, those letters confirmed that she was even more of a saint than I originally thought. My reasoning, and this is only my opinion, is that her having doubts that she was human like the rest of us but chose to continue serving in spite of her doubts. To have no doubt means the path was relatively easy and free of conflict. But when you doubt, when the path is hard, and you still are able to overcome and succeed, that is a true sign of something remarkable. Mother Teresa's letters confirmed to me that she was even more admirable because she chose to continue helping people in spite of it.
For whatever reason we like our heroes clean and without human failings. We want the path to success to be clean cut and easy to follow. It almost never is and Mother Teresa's is no different. In her quiet moments away from the news and her foundations, she doubted. She questioned the very religion and service she was exalted for. And what makes her amazing to me is that she continued to do good in spite of those doubts and fears.
It's human to question and to feel like we may not be able to accomplish a feat. It is human to doubt ourselves from time to time. It is in those times that we must conquer them on our own and face ourselves. We might not always like what we find but we must continue on.
It's very easy to remember a person's success, it's what we celebrate, but it is equally important not to forget all the hardship and work it took to get there.
Update: This article was originally published on August 23, 2012. Since then (on September 4, 2016) Mother Teresa was declared a Saint by Vatican. See the link below
Point to Ponder: While it may seem small, the ripple effects of small things is extraordinary.-Matt Bevin
Sand--Silicon--Semiconductor- Computers, Phones, Systems and Devices--The Way We Live and Interact
Story Line: The short video above captures some of the landmarks of Silicon Valley; The Garage where Hewlett Packard was formed, The place where the first Silicon transistor was made, The place where the first commercially viable Integrated Circuit was developed, The Garage where Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniack created the first computer and Apple, the place where Steve Jobs grew up, also where Steve Jobs lived in the later years, the beginning of Intel and some popular food places since the mid-1960s.
Reflection: About 12 years agothere was a visitor from Japan in my work place. After lunch there was a scheduled meeting to discuss business issues. Instead of going back to the workplace conference room, I offered to take him around some historic Silicon Valley places and during travel between the places, to continue our business discussion. We accomplished our meeting agenda and he also he went home very happy and created a very nice trip report that included the photos and narration of our sideline tour. Thus began the tradition of my Silicon Valley tour that has been enjoyed by over 100 people from many countries over the years. And for me they have been drives down the lanes full of memories.
Having spent five decades in this valley and seeing it evolve from mostly a farmland to the center of world's most innovative companies, their wonderful inventions and the experience of dealing with many cultures has been very fulfilling.
I had planned this reflection for almost a year. It was pure coincidence but an immense source of joy to find out that this week happens to be celebration of The Birth Place of Silicon Valley. Additionally Intel, one of the only two remaining valley semiconductor companies from 1960s, is still thriving and just celebrated its 50th anniversary.
Who would have imagined then the immense impact Silicon Valley and its product would have on the world the way it has? The last clip in the video sums it up well.
Point to Ponder: The people we meet every day is to teach us the dos and don’ts in life. It's really amazing. – a comment in last week’s reflection from CJS -Malaysia
Story Line: AsI came down the elevator and entered the lobby of our hotel in Pago Pago, a tall white gentleman greeted us, “Hi! I am Roy West. You can call me Rory. I am going to take you around today.” For a minute it was a surprise because I was expecting a Samoan person to be our tour guide. But then I realized that the place was American Samoa; a part of USA territory. Samoa, an independent country was two days away per our itinerary.
The first place he took us was a garden nearby and introduced us to some local plants, herbs and fruit trees. In a later conversation we found out that he had graduated with specialization in a field of Botany from SF State. As we drove through the beautiful tropical scenery with rainforests, volcanic mountains, majestic views of the ocean, beaches and small towns, Rory told us that he is originally from Oklahoma. At the age of 22, during a trip to Samoan islands, he fell in love with the area; nature, people and the lifestyle. He decided that it is the lifestyle he wanted and moved to American part of Samoa. He earns his living through landscaping and tourist guide professions; both in alignment with what he loves.
During the day he told us about the history of Polynesia, Culture, Plants and Wildlife. We noticed some beautiful homes that seemed abandoned. Rory explained that some of those belonged to outsiders who had moved to AS for its lifestyle but did not integrate with the local culture. That created resentment and noncooperation from locals and eventually outsiders got frustrated and left. Except for Pago Pago, the largest population city (appx 5000), American Samoa is made of many small villages with village councils as administrators. Understanding their rules, protocols, hierarchy is very important to be accepted; which he himself had done well. He lived in the remote area in the woods, his children and grandchildren went to village schools, he respected and followed cultural norms and mixed well with the local people.
Every town we went, people knew Rory. Even on a mountain top with a majestic view, where Miss Pacific Islander was doing a photo shoot, every one including her knew Rory. Rory has ten children and many grandchildren. While passing by a small town, we noticed kids playing in a school yard. Rory stopped and introduced us to two of his granddaughters. In a conversation about future opportunities, Rory said “All that you have to do is to teach your kids Farming, Fishing and Fixing essential things. Then let them go through their own thinking and they will figure out.”
A while later, when we had a compelling need to use restroom, Rory just pulled his car in to one small village home. He told us that we can use the restroom in the house. It belonged to his ex Wife. His elder son welcomed us and gave us drinks after we had accomplished the main purpose.
Rory’s stories were plenty and very captivating. After eight hours we still wanted to hear more. While dropping us at our hotel at Sunset, he invited us to join his wife and friends for the country music concert that night.
We had connected beyond the normal customer supplier relationship.
We went to our room to take little rest. Next thing we know is our room phone was ringing at 8 AM the next morning. It was Rory. He had assumed that we were jet-lagged and must have fallen asleep. But it was a new day and he wanted to know if we would like to join him and grandchildren to visit western part of the island. He came with some more grandchildren and a son we had not met the previous day. After enjoying majestic beauty of turtle and shark beach, we went for lunch where we met another one of his granddaughters and also more locals who knew Rory.
An hour later as we were clearing Immigration at Pago Pago airport to head to Samoa (an independent country), the immigration lady asked if we had enjoyed our stay. When I mentioned our experience with Rory, she said with excitement “Rory? Rory West took you around? My brother is married to his daughter.”
Even on our last stop, someone knew Rory. (Reminded me of that famous Maxwell house coffee ad “Good to the last drop.”)
Reflection: In one conversation during the day through the rainforest, noticing Rory’s very basic features cellphone, I said something about the Silicon Valley and Steve Jobs. Noticing no reaction from Rory, I said “You know who he is, right?” Rory replied, “I know who Rory West is; the person who believes in the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for all.” Then he looked at me and said with a smile, “Of course I know who he is, but you will hardly find anyone here who really knew who he was.” I understood. He was telling me to be in the present. Here. Now. Today. Out there Silicon Valley made no difference; not in the beauty and the wonders that were all around me.
Well, for the rest of the stay, I immersed myself in the surroundings and carried a bounty of wonderful memories to last a lifetime.
Answers to life's problems lie inside of you. All that you need to do is Look, Listen and Learn.
POINTS TO PONDER
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. - John Lennon
STORY LINEFrom Kahlil Gibran's* "The Prophet"
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
* Kahlil Gibran was a Lebanese American artist, poet and a writer.
REFLECTION
We wanted to thank everyone for their passionate, insightful, and astute comments regarding reflection - Two Sides of Success .Your differing points of view, thoughtful dialogue, and passionate comments are the best of what Friday Reflections can be. We encourage more dialogue like this.
We noticed that many of last week's comments were made by parents. Parents that loved their children, cared for their children, and worried for their futures. Jimmy Chin's story seemed to strike a chord because his story represented one of the greatest fears a parent can have regarding the child they love - they want a different life than the one a parent has laid out for them.
One of the comments left by a concerned mother really hit home. It's a dilemma that many parents face regarding their children - the fear of failure, of harm, and the unknown. Often we forget that we were once that idealistic, passionate child where fear wasn't on the forefront of our minds. This particular reader was observant enough to say:
But then I am the same parent that did not put the Fear of anything in my sons' heads... Then why am I chickening out now? My mother allowed me to come to a foreign country for Grad school - going against all her in laws - who wanted to marry me off to some "suitable" guy. Was her risk taking justified - because - she was allowing me to follow my dream of further education and hence a perceived guaranteed bright future?
It seems that she was once like her own son in wanting a life different than what was expected of her. She didn't know where the roles had switched where her own son, like her, dreamed of a different life. The reader then asked a question that no one but her, her child, and the inevitability of nature can answer. She asked:
How do you chose which passion/conviction to follow or let follow? When is the "right" time to follow your passions? What are the pre requisites? Mostly I want to know- What should be a parent's role in this or should they be?
Your comments, and the questions of this concerned parent, got us thinking. It sparked us to post this reflection.
* Repeat from January 17, 2013. Reader's comments from the original publication also included in this blog.
This is the most intensely dialogued/debated Friday Reflections of all times. Readers, especially Parents, really got involved in expressing their honest views of the subject; some agreed , the others agreed to disagree and some strongly disagreed. Please read Readers' comments ( #1) from the original publication to appreciate the full dialogue. (originally published January 10, 2013)
Jimmy Chin was like many kids his age heading into college; the prodigal son encouraged to live up to the standards set forth by his loving parents. Jimmy thought he had three choices in life: to be a doctor, lawyer, or a businessman. When he went to Carleton College he majored in International Relations and Asian Studies.
Upon graduation he moved to the bay area and was looking for a job. But he admitted he wasn't passionate about it. His mind was on what he fell in love with growing up and that he fostered while in college - skiing and mountain climbing.
So he told his parents that before going to work he would take a year off and go climbing. Chin would later say that he had fulfilled his parents worst nightmare and after a year it did not end. He decided to keep going, keep climbing and in that time lived in national parks out of his car.
He never went to find that job but lived out of his car and continued to climb for a total of seven years. He found a community of climbers that had the same love for the mountains as he did.
Then on one trip a friend of Chin's bought a camera. He was hoping to take some photos on the mountain that he could sell to magazines. Jimmy Chin took one photo on his roll of photos and it was Jimmy's photo that was purchased for the whopping sum of $500.
Jimmy thought that if he could sell just one photo a month, he could conceivably afford to keep climbing comfortably for the rest of his life. So acquired a camera and started photographing his climbing expeditions, capturing climbing culture and the magnificent terrain that he would face.
Jimmy grew from that initial $500 sale and it was National Geographic that came calling for his services. He became a regular contributor to the publication. Next came North Face, Outside Magazine, and Men's Journal. Chin would be voted as one the most eligible bachelor's in People Magazine.
REFLECTION
I wonder how we would look at Jimmy Chin's story if he were not a National Geographic photographer but a young man still living out of the back of his car, having the time of his life climbing mountains.
What's interesting is that it seems Jimmy going after what he wants may only be valid because he's now a National Geographic photographer. That's why his story is being passed on, even why I'm telling it to you. The result now justifies the process. It says something about what we're conditioned to focus on, where we as a society place value.
The point I bring up is if he was still living out of his car, without working with Nat Geo but enjoying his life skiing and climbing, would his life be seen as a waste? Would we be telling his story?
And in our own lives do we pursue that passion for an external result or because is it is internally nourishing? Do we measure ourselves against external standards, and are those standards our own or belong to someone else?
The pursuit of passion is what you would continue to do if there were no accolades or money or reaffirmation from peers. It comes from within. It comes even when others don't support or approve. It challenges the way we are taught things are supposed to go.
What's inspiring is Jimmy Chin did it without any of the results that eventually came later. Seven years living out of a car because he loved what he was doing... And I am guessing he'd still be pursuing his passion even if Nat Geo had not come calling.
It’s a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz Legendary Notre Dame Football Coach
Story Line: Lou Holtz coached 132 games in 11 seasons at Notre Dame and guided his teams to an overall record of 100-32-2. Holtz took his Notre Dame teams to nine straight New Year's Day Bowl games from 1987 through 1995.
In the undergraduate commencement address to the students at Franciscan University Lou- with his incredible sense of humor- conveyed important lessons about personal responsibility, trust, and love.
Reflection: In my career and lifeI have learned more from others’ experiences. The lifetime experiences of people like Lou and his willingness to share with people are very valuable asset. In a short time we can learn many important lessons.
Point to Ponder: Things that are given away are never lost.
Storyline: Reflecting on 32 years of reflections, I like to share some incidences that connected me back to my past in a pleasant and an unexpected way.
In December 2006 reflection I shared a beautiful quote that my eighth grade teacher had told us while retiring from our school. " When you came to this world people were smiling and you were crying. Live life in such a way that when you leave this world people are crying and you are smiling (for a well lived life)." the teaching from the Autobiography of Yogi
A few weeks later I received a note from a person in the Singapore facility of my company whom I had met only once while teaching OBT class during my visit: Gunvantiben (The Teacher) - you mentioned below has been my neighbour for past 28 years in Amdavad. Currently I am here (visiting home) with my parents and met her yesterday. When I read your mail below, I did notice her name there. I told her about your mail and she obviously did not recollect your name but really wanted to know what you had written. When I read to her, She had tears in her eyes. She was very happy that someone even after 35 years remembered her.
In January 2014 reflection (40 Years Ago: First Encounters In the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave) I had mentioned my first classmate at USC: Way-Seen Wang. A day later a person in our group in Taipei office contacted me and told me that my classmate was his professor in the University in Taiwan and he was also the advisor of the new college graduate we had hired in our group. During my visit to Taiwan a few months later, they arranged a meeting for us. It was Professor Wang's first day in retirement and our first meeting in 40 years. It was a wonderful evening with a lot of laughter and remembering good old times.
Just recently in response to the reflection (The Songs of the Mockingbird), I received a note from my younger cousin in London: I am amazed as to how you can still manifest memories of your school principal in your Friday reflection. And I must share this with you, it was your mum who taught me how to listen to birds singing in the early morning!! Really enjoyed reading this.
She also sent me a very soothing video of the sounds of forest that were similar to what she used to listen with my mother.
Reflection: Looking back at 32 years of reflections (last 12 years on internet), I realize that people do come in our life for a reason. Each person and encounter gives us new learning experiences. All of you, Friday Reflections Family, have been part of this journey for many years. From your feedback and encouragement I have learnt and grown. Love and Thank You from the bottom of my heart.
Points to Ponder: For The Young and The Restless and Forever Young no matter what the chronological age.
Thoughts about Fear, Action and Persistence. From great achievers in life.
M. Night Shyamalayan: When you say fear of the unknown, that is the definition of fear; fear is the unknown, fear is what you do not know, and it's genetically within us so that we feel safe. We feel scared of the woods because we're not familiar with it, and that keeps you safe.
Teddy Roosevelt: It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Reflection:
Paulo Coelho: Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.
"When a life ends we are left with memories. Long after flesh and bone recede back into the earth, we survive on with nothing more than the remembrance of how two lives can run parallel for a moment, however brief and seemingly unconnected. I never knew Whitney Houston but she touched my life and that of my family with a gift only time and our own death can take away - she gave us memories.This isn't so much a storyline as it is a simple remembrance to an entertainer who had touched a life, many lives, though she struggled deeply with her own."
The following article "The Greatest Love of All (A Tribute to Whitney Houston)." was published on February 22, 2012.
POINT TO PONDER
Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all.
STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah & Analisa Shah
The death of Whitney Houston saddened me this past week. I grew up listening to her music during the 80's while sitting in my father's car with my sister and mother while her sterling vocals filled our friday night drives. My sister and I would listen to Whiteny's songs everyday during the week, rehearsing privately in our room, preparing to take the stage in the backseat of our beat up, mustard yellow 1983 Volvo DL. Friday nights were our own personal show time and we wanted to be ready.
Those Friday night drives, the laughter, and the stories we shared are what would become the inspiration for Friday Reflections. Whitney's songs were the soundtrack to those nights - as much an inspiration as carefree entertainment - and we sang along with her, struggling to hit her high notes.
This isn't so much a storyline as it is a simple remembrance to an entertainer who had touched a life, many lives, though she struggled deeply with her own. Her battles with addiction were public, her meltdowns with Bobby Brown tabloid fodder, and the once pitch perfect voice now gone...
But when a life ends we are left with memories. Long after flesh and bone recede back into the earth, we survive on with nothing more than the remembrance of how two lives can run parallel for a moment, however brief and seemingly unconnected. I never knew Whitney Houston but she touched my life and that of my family with a gift only time and our own death can take away - she gave us memories.
My fondest - I see myself, I'm nine years old at a party thrown by one of my parents' friends and I'm standing in the front of a strange living room with my sister, who's six and can't stop picking at her red polka dotted dress. Her eyes dart down and around, not sure what to look at because all my parents' friends eyes on us, waiting. A worn down tape with the lettering missing, the ink on its face scrubbed away from repeated flips in a tape recorder, is turning. They are waiting for this brother and sister to perform the duet my father has been telling them about, bragging about, and I get nervous. My sister finally looks to me and she grasps my hand. "The Greatest Love of All" begins, its slow electronic melody filling the room...
And we inhale just like we do every Friday night on our family rides. The fear starts to melt away...
We know this, we've done it so many times before. I smile at my sister. She nods. Our courage returns, we open our mouths, and we sing. We sing with everything we have - notes imperfect, our little bodies struggling, trying to catch a breath - just a brother sister duo without much singing ability but a whole lot of heart.
Yes, it was cheesy. Yes, my parents loved it. And yes, I remember it as one of the best memories from my childhood.
You didn't know us Whitney Houston but we knew you. Oh how we knew you... And we thank you.
REFLECTION
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows If I fail, if I succeed At least I'll live as I believe No matter what they take from me They can't take away my dignity Because the greatest love of all Is happening to me I found the greatest love of all Inside of me The greatest love of all Is easy to achieve Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all.
So many of us chose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.
- Jim Carrey
STORY LINE
The embedded video is of Jim Carrey's commencement speech at the 2014 MUM graduation. It was sent to me a few years ago by a reader and at first glance I wasn't expecting much more than a few laughs. It was Jim Carrey after all. The jokes I anticipated were there but after the laughter subsided, another side, and an ultimately more emotional and contemplative side of the comedian came to light. Jim Carrey began to speak about fear and love. About how the choices we make in life originate from those two sources.
To illustrate his point, Jim gave the example of his father, a man that spent his life making choices out of fear. Jim said that his father could have been a great comedian but didn't believe that it could ever happen for him. So instead he got a safe job as an accountant.
When Jim turned 12, however, his father was let go from that job and from then on the family struggled to survive. Jim maintains that he learned something very important from his father's experience. The lesson, according to Jim, was that, "you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love."
REFLECTION:Almost every sentence in this speech has a deep message, some of them delivered with humor. More I listen to each one of his sentences, more I appreciate the depth and profoundness of the message.
It is worth 25 minutes of time as we start our journey into 2017 and beyond.
