Friday Reflections

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Points to Ponder: If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of others you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.- Mister Rogers

Discovering the truth, about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort. -Mister Rogers

Story Line: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in the world.

It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.

Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.

Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.

Reflection: From Mr. Rogers’ speech at Emmy for Life Time Achievement Award*

"So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who loved us into being. 

Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life."

"10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time. "

"Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made.”  

*Entire speech is in the video at the top of this reflection. Thanks to Mary Abel, former colleague and a good friend, for introducing me to this video. It inspired me to write this Friday Reflection; coincidently a day before the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is going to be released.

You Can Win It in the Late Innings If You Don’t Quit - Robert Forster

 

Points to Ponder: I don’t care what kind of story you tell yourself, if you know what is truth but do not let that motivate you, you get what you deserve. - Robert Forster

Story Line: Every Life Tells a Story and Every Story has some lessons.

Robert Forster made his Hollywood debut in 1967 movie Reflections in a Golden Eye with two of the greatest; Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor. His performance received praise and what followed was The Stalking Moon with Gregory Peck, and then in 1969, another legendary film Medium Cool. First Five years in Hollywood were thunderous success. But soon after his career hit strong head winds and the age of 30 he was struggling to find movie roles.

"If you deliver excellence right now, that gives you the best shot at the best future you've got coming."- Robert Forster

The next 27 years were an intense struggle. He had to support his four children. In addition to occasional movie roles, he took jobs as a dishwasher, a waiter and railroad worker. In an interview for AARP magazine last October he said: Any job can be raised to the level of an art form, I don’t care what it is. I used to hate washing dishes. I got so good at it now I tell hostesses, ‘Listen, I’ll wash stemware for you, I never break them.’ I used to hate changing babies, and then I had four. I taught them self-respect and satisfaction. If you’re looking for the good life, these are huge components. And you can get them every day by offering your best effort to whatever it is you’re doing. It’s simple."

Who knows at which precise moment your fortune can change?  For those 27 years, every morning Robert used to go to a coffee shop right across from where he lived. One day Quentin Tarantino, Director and Screenplay writer of highly acclaimed film Pulp Fiction walked into the restaurant. Quentin was a fan of Robert since he was a kid. They chatted for a while and the next time Quentin walked in, he offered him a role in his upcoming movie Jackie Brown. Robert was thrilled and for the role of Max Cherry, he received Oscar nomination. That reignited his career. Since then Robert has been in 70 movies and 37 TV shows; and 46 major roles since turning 70. “You put in enough years and every once in a while something terrific comes along,” said Foster in AARP interview “You’ve got to keep sluggin’ until that happens.”

 Everything teaches you something. The job of real life is the job of caring for others. Everything you do in life is superfluous compared to that" - Robert Forster

About 25 years ago Robert started a program called 'Interacting' to share the lessons he had learnt from hard times. Initially it was for actors but through the years the scope expanded to people from all walks of life. Until his last days, he continued to encourage, motivate and help people for free by telling the stories from his life. As he used to say” The Truth is Free. It is BS that costs a lot of money.”

Robert gave his best for any role he played. However, one line from him will stay with me forever: First time I ever played a bad guy. I didn’t want to do it. I got stuck in bad guys for 13 years after that.

Forster once said that when his career was at its lowest ebb, he had what he called an "epiphany." "It was the simple one," he said, "when you realize, 'You know what? You're not dead yet, Bob. You can win it in the late innings. You've still got the late innings, but you can't quit. Never quit.'"

Reflection: Robert left this earth last Friday (October 11), the same day his latest ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ was released. Robert was a genuinely kind, humble, caring soul. Through his many roles in movies and in life, he helped, mentored and inspired many people. He will always live in the hearts he left behind.

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived-This is to have succeeded.”

 

Special Thanks to Brian Landberg for sending Best Story Ever video.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

Points to Ponder: Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Story Line: Timeless teachings from Gandhi on his 150th Birth Anniversary (October 2)

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the fault of others.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

My religion is based on truth and non-violence. Truth is my God. Non Violence is the means of realising Him.

There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other courts.

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”

Reflection: Hate the sin, love (forgive) the sinner.

During Noakhali religious riots in 1946, Gandhi started fasting until death unless the people stopped killing one another. The People from different rioting parties approached Gandhi to promise they would stop and asked him to eat. The real event from that time is shown very well in the movie Gandhi by Sir Richard Attenborough.

Gandhi suggests A Way Out of Hell for the man who had killed a young boy from the opposing side.

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.” ― Albert Einstein.

 

 

The People's Prime Minister

Samiuela ʻAkilisi Pōhiva (7 April 1941 – 12 September 2019)

 Photo Credit/Kalino Lātū

Point to Ponder: “To live in the hearts one leaves behind is not to die.” Thomas Campbell

He struck me as a very thoughtful, generous individual. He lived in a small, humble home on the outskirts of Nuku'alofa, always came across as a man of the people who lived a simple life and didn't care much for the perks of office.  -- Newshub's pacific affairs correspondent Michael Morrah.

Story Line:  During out visit to Tonga in 2018, my wife and I had good fortune to meet and chat with this truly humble man in a chance encounter. We were having lunch in a street café and The Honorable Prime Minister and His Advisor walked in. Our Tongan friend introduced us and The Honorable Prime Minister invited us to join on his table. He watched the video about Tonga that I was in process of making and then asked us what we thought of his country. Our discussion continued about industrialization and tourism and also about the Silicon Valley. In very modest inquiring and honest way he expressed his views about those subjects and his great concern about environmental issues. We were honored and touched by his humility, candidness and simplicity. Since then, we have kept in touch with his Advisor who is now a good friend, and had exchanged some messages with The Honorable Prime Minister through him.

Up on returning home, my curiosity led me to do a lot of research about him. I was truly impressed to learn about his passion for democracy and human rights and the price he paid to achieve these objectives for his country and people. Once described as the Nelson Mandela of the Pacific, Mr. Akilisi Pohiva was the first commoner to be elected Tonga's Prime Minister in 2014, rather than being appointed by the King. Since learning of his death yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about him and his remarkable life of service. For some reasons I still can’t figure out why, but I remembered a Reflection from very very early days. (April 06, 2007) while thinking about this great man. He was always there for his People. 

https://www.msn.com/en-nz/entertainment/story/akilisi-pohiva-the-peoples-prime-minister-and-his-quest-for-democratic-reform/vi-AAHbkhE

Reflection: The Doctor Is: In

Points to Ponder: “What we once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” Helen Keller

Story Line: The story was about the doctor in a small town. He was a very kind and caring man. He loved what he did: which was to serve people who were sick and needed help. His clinic was full of people from early morning hours to late evenings; and he was always available to serve any one in need at any hour during the night as well.

Appropriately, the sign outside his office always indicated; The Doctor Is: In

The doctor was too shy and also too busy to find someone as a mate and thus a single man. He had an assistant, a very caring and good hearted nurse who had worked with him for years. She liked and respected this man’s passion for his profession and dedication to a worthy cause. Over time, they developed liking for each other and decided to get married.

Finally, came the day of the wedding ceremony. When the doctor was about to leave his house, a couple arrived to his clinic with a very sick child who needed an emergency surgery. He forgot about everything else and focused on the sick child. The bride and the guests waited for a long time and then gave up. Feeling sad and humiliated, she left the town.

For years, the doctor kept servicing people as he always did. Eventually, life took its course and this good man died of an old age.

The whole town gathered to pay homage to this man who had served them selflessly and whom they loved dearly. One big dilemma emerged at the end of the services. What should be the right epitaph for a man who lived such a great life?

While the town people were struggling to find the right words for the inscription on his tombstone, the former nurse (yes, the bride who had waited) arrived at the scene. She had heard about her former boss’ death and had rushed to the town. The town people shared their dilemma about the epitaph with her.

After paying her respect to her former boss and saying final good bye to him, she pulled out a plaque from a hand bag and put it on his tombstone.

It read- The Doctor Is: In

(Yes, that was the same plaque that had hung outside his office during his entire life)

 My mother told me this amazingly touching story in either late 60s or early 70s. We don’t remember the source. However, if anyone knows the source, please let me know and I will pass on the credit where it is due. Thanks

 

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

Street Art

Point to Ponder: A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Glasgow High Street Mural: Artist Smug (Sam Bates)

Story Line: Following Murals are from the Street of Reykjavik

Artist Guido Van Helten

Artist: Sara Riel

Artist Name: I am still Searching 

Reflection: During recent visit to Glasgow and Reykjavik, we witnessed beautiful murals on the side of buildings. It was refreshing to know that the local government in those places encourages artists to displaycreativity on the streets. Photos above are a few samples of incredible artwork in the streets of those cities.

 

 

Spring Around The Pond

 

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' - Robin Williams

 

What does it take to take your idea/company of the ground?

Points to Ponder:

“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

Story Line: One childhood habit (fascination) that I have not been able to get rid of is to watch planes take off and fly. Even after all these years of growing up, I still go to San Francisco Airport a few times a month and spend couple of hours watching planes take off and land. 

What makes this magnificent creation of human mind and efforts; weighing more than half a million pounds (ex. 777, 747); soaring at 35000 feet; and traveling over 7000 miles without stopping; to take hundreds of passengers safely to their destination? 

Based on Aerodynamics, four forces are constantly at works to enable a plane to fly: Thrust, generated by engines and propellers, is responsible for forward motion of the plane. Drag, created by air resistance, slows down the forward motion. Thrust has to be greater than Drag for a plane to move forward. This is enabled through right powered engines and streamlined design. The third force is Weight, a gravitational force responsible for downward motion. And the final force is Lift, created by a balancing force of wind beneath the wings, which counters weight and pushes plane upwards. And most of the planes need one more and very important force, a human one: A Pilot.

So what do all these have to do with your idea or a company? This is where Human dynamics comes into play. You are the Pilot (inventor or entrepreneur) who needs to convert your idea (dream) into reality (destination). You are the pilot (employee, manager or a leader) who constantly needs to create more value for your stakeholders (investors, employees, customers and suppliers). You have to have the strong Thrust (Belief in your vision, Passion, Courage to move forward) to overcome the Drag (Ney Sayers, Roadblocks). You have to have the Lift (Willpower, efficient organization design) to rise above the Weight (Bureaucracy, Resource Constraints). You have to create a flight path (charter a course) and put your ideas/projects in motion.

How many planes return to terminal after the boarding gates close? How many times, or did you ever, hear about a pilot giving up once the plane reaches V speed of 150-180 miles/hour? Once you put your idea/project in motion, it reaches a takeoff point where forces of Lift (Passion) and Thrust (Willpower) overcome the forces of Drag and Weight. Yes, it takes a lot to get a plane off the ground. And there begins your journey to your destination.

But the journey is not over yet. What happens when a plane encounters turbulence or unexpected event? The pilot looks at the monitors (data) and makes necessary adjustments to altitude or flight path. How many instances do you know where a pilot has given up on destination (goal) or start a brand new journey (a program of the month/year) or dropped the plane all together? In such cases, not only that the passengers would not reach their destination; but it would also waste tremendous resources and do a great disservice to your stakeholders. Won’t it?

And what about a situation where the plane is cruising at 35000 feet in a nice weather (project/ organization is functioning well). It is in auto pilot mode (called Empowerment in corporate world). There are real time monitors and indicators constantly flashing. There are bells and whistles to flag abnormalities. Does it mean the pilot can sit back and take it easy? (Delegate his leadership?).

Reflection: Any entrepreneur or a successful leader never takes his eye off the ball. They are constantly monitoring their flight and do make necessary course correction; but they do not give up until they reach their destination.

And guess what? There is an old Airline saying, “A plane makes money only when it is in the air.” Similarly an entrepreneur or a good leader never rests. They are ready to take off to the next destination as soon as new passengers are on board.

The Hero's Journey

POINT TO PONDER: Follow your bliss. - Joseph Campbell

STORY LINE: by Rajiv Shah

We want to revisit one of our favorite stories, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. On first glance, Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story about marching to the beat of your own drum, following dreams, pursuing your passion in the face of adversity and forgiving others when they condemn you for doing so. It incorporates all these elements, but I realized upon my viewing of the entire film that JLS follows the classic Hero's Journey myth structure.

The Hero's Journey was popularized by Joseph Campbell who was a writer and mythologist. Campbell found that many classic stories follow a pattern (including Jonathan Livingston Seagull) and an extremely abridged explanation is outlined here that we can apply to our own lives:

The Call to Adventure - This is where the main character is at a point in their life where they are at the brink of change. Either the character can be seeking the change or the call to adventure comes from an unexpected source (death of a loved one, fired from a job, life is in danger.etc). In JLS this step is represented in Jonathan's need to fly faster and higher than any seagull before. In your own life is there something that you seek? A higher sense of fulfillment whether personal or professional, a yearning to explore, or a need to challenge? Whatever that thing is, that is your calling.
Refusal of the Call - The main character avoids the call due to doubt, familial obligations, expectations (societal, personal, or familial), or fear of the unknown. In JLS (around the 20 minute mark) Jonathan has flown higher than he ever has before but crash lands into the ocean. Injured and alone he floats on a wooden crate - for the first time doubting his calling, his belief in himself. He thinks, "I've got to live with what I am. I promise this day that I will be a seagull like every other seagull." Sound familiar? I don't think I need to illustrate how this applies to our own lives as many of us get stuck in this phase of the hero's journey, doubting our passion and ability.

Crossing of the Threshold/Road of Trials - The point where the main character reenters their journey is sometimes with encouragement from another and sometimes from an internal calling growing stronger within them. At this point there is no turning back, the main character ventures further into the unknown, past fear and doubt. The character will undergo a transformation from the experience (usually tough) and emerge with a new understanding and/or a new self. In JLS as is true in other works, this is can be the point of death though it is not always the case. In our own lives, and since you are reading this - you are not dead yet (at least I hope not...) - it can be a metamorphosis from your old way of thinking/self usually into a new one.
Apotheosis/The Ultimate Boon - The achievement of the goal. Moving to divine knowledge, transendence and attainment of the calling. In JLS this is the point when Jonathan has learned to fly highest, fastest, and is even able to transend his physical body. For us, well... I wouldn't know what this looks like and it would be foolish for me to try to teach anyone this as I'm searching myself. But I think it's in the search for this that we find peace and bliss, however brief or lasting. Some may find this in family, some in career achievements, and some might find it in jumping from one thing/place to the next. But when we find it I hope we take the next step:

Master of Two Worlds/Freedom to Live - With this new knowledge, bliss, and transcendence the main character returns to his place of origin in order to share those experiences with others and the world at large. This is so that others might find their own path and their own peace. In JLS this is done when Jonathan returns to the flock seeking to teach them that they can fly as high and fast as they dream. For us, it is the need to teach, to pass on what we've experienced in order to help another on their path. Paying it forward.

REFLECTION

The Hero's Journey is one that all of us have within us. It reflects the nature of our search for meaning. We all find it in different places but the calling is always there. Sometimes the fears and doubts get so loud that we don't take the journey and find what we are truly capable of. It's easy to given in and stop searching, deciding that what we seek can't exist.

This need, the quest for meaning, is not only reflected in stories like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but is ingrained in spiritual texts such as the Bible and the story of the Buddha. It permeates most TV shows and movies, from Lost to Batman. It can even be found in the cycle of birth. It is a mythology that is interwoven into the very fabric of our existence - in the little place inside of each and everyone of us that dares to answer the call and seek our greatest potential.

Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

Reader's feedback from the original publication on July 26, 2012 is included in Comments section.

 

 

Seeing Autumn in The Silicon Valley

Point to Ponder: There is beauty wherever we have the ability to see it; for beauty lies in the one that experiences it.--Sujat Shah

Story Line: A week ago while observing some of the majestic, autumnal colors on the trees on our street; I told my wife, “come out and look outside. There are beautiful autumn colors in the neighborhood.” She smiled and wondered aloud, “where have you been all these years? They have been here every autumn for last 20 years that we have lived here. ”Autumn In Silicon Valley

Newly Awakened, I drove around the Silicon Valley looking at the same things I had many times before, but started seeing them differently. Whenever I am travelling to different places and see such an immense beauty, I unleash the capability of my camera to its fullest and take many photos. So in order to be fair and nonpartial, I went around the neighborhood and let my camera roll. (except for the photos of Golden Gate Bridge and two subsequent ones, the rest of the photos are from the Silicon Valley.)

Reflection: This encounter reminded me of a reflection three years ago (Better than the Best) when a fellow traveler in Fiji asked us which place was the best amongst all we had been in the world. Below are a few paragraphs from that reflection.

My wife and I reflected on this encounter in the evening over dinner. We recalled every destination we have been to in last six months and all of them had beautiful places, cultures and people. A pattern emerged as all too often we would ask ourselves in each new place, “Can there be a place better than this?” And when the next encounter came, we wondered the same thing.

This feeling did not go away once we returned home and went to the marshlands in Palo Alto. My wife and I watched as this white egret glided past us, rising higher over the marsh, and into the distance against a spectacular view of the San Francisco Bay. It was free, it was graceful, and it was beautiful. And for a quiet moment we both just watched… Once it was gone, I finally had my answer. I turned to my wife and said, “This place. This is the best. Right here and right now…”

“Only later do we realize, in the next encounter, that beauty is everywhere in this world all around you: in nature, in cultures, and in people. If we can get in harmony with the present.”