Friday Reflections

If You Can Think Of It If You Can Dream Of It You Can Achieve It

A Family Project: From Swimming Pool to Koi Pond. And a wonderful ten years journey since. 

June 24, 2010 - 2020.

Happy Father's Day Wishes and Love to You from Your Friday Reflections Family.

Point to Ponder: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Story Line: The video above covers the journey of a family project we started in the spring of 2010. The first part was to remove the high maintenance, low use swimming pool that was occupying majority of our backyard. The second part was to create a Koi Pond with the help of an expert. And the third part was where we enriched the surroundings with varieties of fish, trees, flower plants and other items. What you see in the video is the evolution of surroundings through the years; majestic colors of the landscape through four seasons, reflections of sunlight during different parts of the day, many varieties of plants, flowers, fruit trees and diversity of wildlife (Birds, Bees, Butterflies, Animals and of course Lizards and Garden Snakes. Not to forget manyfriends from various countries have blessed this pond with their presence. People may find hard to believe that this 'not so secret garden' is very low maintenance compared to what it was before the change.

Reflection: Next Wednesday, June 24th is the tenth anniversary of this creation. It has been a wonderful journey full of fun and a lot of learnings about gardening and wildlife. Every member of family was involved; our son and his mother very intensely, me providing the management guidance (lol) and vision for the size of the pond, our son in law and daughter providing vegetable plants and share their deep experience. Some friends also provided flowers and vegetable plants. Many new lessons learnt; here are the top three.

1. Hire the best man for the job, the second best is too expensive. The person who built our pond was professional, knowledgable, responsive, with high degree of integrity and good people working for him. Till today we haven't had any major issues with the pond. 
2. Let things evolve and don't give up too soon. After getting only 5,7 and 6 cherries from 4th to 6th years, I was thinking of removing the tree. My wife suggested to give some more time. I guess the tree heard us and since then we have had years with continuously increasing crops; this year yielded  2000 cherries. Similarly after the drought years, three old evergreen trees looked pale and terrible. Called tree doctor who recommended doing expensive lab analysis and also removal of two out of three. Our gardner suggested to water them a lot and give some tender loving care. Since then those three are blooming with beautiful white flowers every February and early moring sunshine turns them into majestic gold colors. (in video)
3. Maintaining a balanced eco-system is very important. In nature there is a good reason for the way things are. Removing garden snakes created an imbalace that opened up opportunities for frogs and rats to invade the garden. Only when the park ranger saw us dropping a snake in the woods, he educated us about the benefits of garden snakes and their harmlessness. Since then the rats and frogs have moved away.  Garden Snake

Enjoy the video. Happy Weekend. 

Be the energy you want to attract

Points to Ponder: When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too.

Story Line: This short story is an excellent example on mindfulness. - Sent by Sujat Shah from India.

Zhao Zi Hao's made it big in business so he spent money buying a piece of land in the suburbs and built a three-storey villa.

He had an impressive swimming pool in the garden with a hundred-year-old Lychee Tree in the backyard to boot. In fact, he bought the property precisely because of this tree. His wife loved eating lychees.

During renovations, his friends urged him to get guidance from a fengshui master, just to tread on the side of caution.

Zhao Zi Hao's never quite believed in Fengshui yet surprising he took the advice to heart and went out of his way to engage a feng shui master from Hong Kong. The Grand Master was non other than Master Cao who's been in the profession for thirty over years, renowned in the Fengshui circle. They had a meal in the city then Zhao Zi Hao drove the Master to the suburbs.

Along the way, when cars behind them tried to overtake, Zhao Zi Hao would simply give way.

The Master laughingly remarked: "Big Boss Zhao, your driving is really safe." He spoke really fluent mandarin for a Hongkie.

Zhao Zhi Hao laughed at the remark: “Usually people who need to overtake have some urgent matter to attend to, so we shouldn't hold them up.

Arriving at a small town the streets grew narrow and so Zhao Zi Hao slowed down.

A giggling child suddenly darted out from an alley and as the child ran across the street, Zao still didn't speed up. Instead, he kept his gaze on the alley, as if waiting for something. Out of the blue, another child darted out, chasing after the child ahead.

Master Zao was surprised and asked: “How did you know there'd be another child following suit?”

Zhao Zi Hao shrugged: “Well, kids are always chasing after each other so it's impossible for a child to be in such glee without a playmate.”

Master Cao gave him a big thumbs up and laughed out loud: “That's really considerate of you!”

Arriving at the Villa, they got down from the car. Suddenly about seven to eight birds flocked from the backyard. Seeing so, Zhao said to Master Cao: “ If you don't mind please wait here for a little while.”

“What's the matter?" Master Cao was taken aback.

"Oh, there's probably some kids stealing lychees in the backyard. If we walk in now we might give them a fright, let's not risk anyone falling off the old Lychee Tree." Zhao replied humorously.

Master Cao stayed silent for a while before stating matter-of-factly: “This home doesn't need a fengshui evaluation anymore.”

Now it's Zhao's turn to be shocked: “Why's that?”

“Any place graced with your presence naturally becomes the property with the most auspicious fengshui.”

When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too.

When a person is considerate of others at all times, then this person has unconsciously accomplished Buddhood.

The Buddha is in fact a person who through benefiting others becomes enlightened.

Have a mindful week ahead.

Reflection: Many people view Feng Shui as about things and good fortune but in reality it is about us and the energy we want to transmit. For Zhao Zi; his believes, thoughts and actions were in harmony and radiated positive energy in the universe. In life one gets what one puts out. 

As Master Cao rightfully said " When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too."

Always keep in mind that the strongest factor of your Feng Shui is You. - Stefan Emunds

In current times, we found appropriate to repeat this story from November 8, 2018 reflection. 

Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.

 

Points to Ponder: I was concerned about going out in the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself!

Story Line: Recently in a conversation between two adult friends reflecting on their high school years, one of them mentioned: It seems we all turned out well. The other one replied “We would like to think so.” “But…” (What others think of us). It was puzzling especially more so coming from a guy who, per society’s normal measures of success, has incredible accomplishments. That conversation reminded me of Jim Carey’s important tips about life and career that he conveyed to the graduating class of 2014 at Maharishi University.   

Reflection: excerpts from the speech.

Because Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. How do I know this? I don’t, but I’m making sound, and that’s the important thing. That’s what I’m here to do. Sometimes, I think that’s the only thing that is important. Just letting each other know we’re here, reminding each other that we are part of a larger self.

Now fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here, and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.

So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying, I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it — please! And if it doesn’t happen for you right away, it’s only because the universe is so busy fulfilling my order. Party size!

My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. It’s not the only thing that he taught me though: I watched the affect my father’s love and humor and how it altered the world around me, and I thought, “That’s something to do, that’s something worth my time.”

The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Because everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart. My choosing to free people from concern got me to the top of a mountain. Look where I am — look what I get to do! Everywhere I go – and I’m going to get emotional because when I tap into this, it really is extraordinary to me — I did something that makes people present their best selves to me wherever I go. I am at the top of the mountain and the only one I hadn’t freed was myself and that’s when my search for identity deepened.

I wondered who I’d be without my fame. Who would I be if I said things that people didn’t want to hear, or if I defied their expectations of me? That peace that we’re after, lies somewhere beyond personality, beyond the perception of others, beyond invention and disguise, even beyond effort itself. You can join the game, fight the wars, play with form all you want, but to find real peace, you have to let the armour go. Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.

I’ve often said that I wished people could realize all their dreams of wealth and fame so that they could see that it’s not where you’ll find you’re going to find your sense of completion. Like many of you, I was concerned about going out in the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself!

Are you going to look at a person like me and say, “How could we ever hope to reach those kinds of heights, Jim? How can we make a painting that’s too big for our home? How do you fly so high without a special breathing apparatus?” This is the voice of THE EGO. And if you listen to it, there will always be someone who is doing better than you. No matter what you gain, ego will not let you rest. It will tell you that you cannot stop until you’ve left an indelible mark on the earth, until you’ve achieved immortality. How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with the promise of something we already possess.

So, I just want you to relax, you know, that’s my job. Relax and dream up a good life!

As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.

Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the door opens in real life, just walk through it. And don’t worry if you miss your cue because there’s always door opening. They keep opening. And when I say, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.” I really don’t know if that’s true. I’m just making a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial so that I can deal with them in the most productive way. You’ll come up with your own style, that’s part of the fun!

You will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Points to Ponder: If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of others you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.- Mister Rogers

Discovering the truth, about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort. -Mister Rogers

Story Line: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in the world.

It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.

Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.

Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.

Reflection: From Mr. Rogers’ speech at Emmy for Life Time Achievement Award*

"So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who loved us into being. 

Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life."

"10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time. "

"Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made.”  

*Entire speech is in the video at the top of this reflection. Thanks to Mary Abel, former colleague and a good friend, for introducing me to this video. It inspired me to write this Friday Reflection; coincidently a day before the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is going to be released.

You Can Win It in the Late Innings If You Don’t Quit - Robert Forster

 

Points to Ponder: I don’t care what kind of story you tell yourself, if you know what is truth but do not let that motivate you, you get what you deserve. - Robert Forster

Story Line: Every Life Tells a Story and Every Story has some lessons.

Robert Forster made his Hollywood debut in 1967 movie Reflections in a Golden Eye with two of the greatest; Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor. His performance received praise and what followed was The Stalking Moon with Gregory Peck, and then in 1969, another legendary film Medium Cool. First Five years in Hollywood were thunderous success. But soon after his career hit strong head winds and the age of 30 he was struggling to find movie roles.

"If you deliver excellence right now, that gives you the best shot at the best future you've got coming."- Robert Forster

The next 27 years were an intense struggle. He had to support his four children. In addition to occasional movie roles, he took jobs as a dishwasher, a waiter and railroad worker. In an interview for AARP magazine last October he said: Any job can be raised to the level of an art form, I don’t care what it is. I used to hate washing dishes. I got so good at it now I tell hostesses, ‘Listen, I’ll wash stemware for you, I never break them.’ I used to hate changing babies, and then I had four. I taught them self-respect and satisfaction. If you’re looking for the good life, these are huge components. And you can get them every day by offering your best effort to whatever it is you’re doing. It’s simple."

Who knows at which precise moment your fortune can change?  For those 27 years, every morning Robert used to go to a coffee shop right across from where he lived. One day Quentin Tarantino, Director and Screenplay writer of highly acclaimed film Pulp Fiction walked into the restaurant. Quentin was a fan of Robert since he was a kid. They chatted for a while and the next time Quentin walked in, he offered him a role in his upcoming movie Jackie Brown. Robert was thrilled and for the role of Max Cherry, he received Oscar nomination. That reignited his career. Since then Robert has been in 70 movies and 37 TV shows; and 46 major roles since turning 70. “You put in enough years and every once in a while something terrific comes along,” said Foster in AARP interview “You’ve got to keep sluggin’ until that happens.”

 Everything teaches you something. The job of real life is the job of caring for others. Everything you do in life is superfluous compared to that" - Robert Forster

About 25 years ago Robert started a program called 'Interacting' to share the lessons he had learnt from hard times. Initially it was for actors but through the years the scope expanded to people from all walks of life. Until his last days, he continued to encourage, motivate and help people for free by telling the stories from his life. As he used to say” The Truth is Free. It is BS that costs a lot of money.”

Robert gave his best for any role he played. However, one line from him will stay with me forever: First time I ever played a bad guy. I didn’t want to do it. I got stuck in bad guys for 13 years after that.

Forster once said that when his career was at its lowest ebb, he had what he called an "epiphany." "It was the simple one," he said, "when you realize, 'You know what? You're not dead yet, Bob. You can win it in the late innings. You've still got the late innings, but you can't quit. Never quit.'"

Reflection: Robert left this earth last Friday (October 11), the same day his latest ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ was released. Robert was a genuinely kind, humble, caring soul. Through his many roles in movies and in life, he helped, mentored and inspired many people. He will always live in the hearts he left behind.

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived-This is to have succeeded.”

 

Special Thanks to Brian Landberg for sending Best Story Ever video.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

Points to Ponder: Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Story Line: Timeless teachings from Gandhi on his 150th Birth Anniversary (October 2)

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the fault of others.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

My religion is based on truth and non-violence. Truth is my God. Non Violence is the means of realising Him.

There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other courts.

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”

Reflection: Hate the sin, love (forgive) the sinner.

During Noakhali religious riots in 1946, Gandhi started fasting until death unless the people stopped killing one another. The People from different rioting parties approached Gandhi to promise they would stop and asked him to eat. The real event from that time is shown very well in the movie Gandhi by Sir Richard Attenborough.

Gandhi suggests A Way Out of Hell for the man who had killed a young boy from the opposing side.

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.” ― Albert Einstein.

 

 

The People's Prime Minister

Samiuela ʻAkilisi Pōhiva (7 April 1941 – 12 September 2019)

 Photo Credit/Kalino Lātū

Point to Ponder: “To live in the hearts one leaves behind is not to die.” Thomas Campbell

He struck me as a very thoughtful, generous individual. He lived in a small, humble home on the outskirts of Nuku'alofa, always came across as a man of the people who lived a simple life and didn't care much for the perks of office.  -- Newshub's pacific affairs correspondent Michael Morrah.

Story Line:  During out visit to Tonga in 2018, my wife and I had good fortune to meet and chat with this truly humble man in a chance encounter. We were having lunch in a street café and The Honorable Prime Minister and His Advisor walked in. Our Tongan friend introduced us and The Honorable Prime Minister invited us to join on his table. He watched the video about Tonga that I was in process of making and then asked us what we thought of his country. Our discussion continued about industrialization and tourism and also about the Silicon Valley. In very modest inquiring and honest way he expressed his views about those subjects and his great concern about environmental issues. We were honored and touched by his humility, candidness and simplicity. Since then, we have kept in touch with his Advisor who is now a good friend, and had exchanged some messages with The Honorable Prime Minister through him.

Up on returning home, my curiosity led me to do a lot of research about him. I was truly impressed to learn about his passion for democracy and human rights and the price he paid to achieve these objectives for his country and people. Once described as the Nelson Mandela of the Pacific, Mr. Akilisi Pohiva was the first commoner to be elected Tonga's Prime Minister in 2014, rather than being appointed by the King. Since learning of his death yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about him and his remarkable life of service. For some reasons I still can’t figure out why, but I remembered a Reflection from very very early days. (April 06, 2007) while thinking about this great man. He was always there for his People. 

https://www.msn.com/en-nz/entertainment/story/akilisi-pohiva-the-peoples-prime-minister-and-his-quest-for-democratic-reform/vi-AAHbkhE

Reflection: The Doctor Is: In

Points to Ponder: “What we once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” Helen Keller

Story Line: The story was about the doctor in a small town. He was a very kind and caring man. He loved what he did: which was to serve people who were sick and needed help. His clinic was full of people from early morning hours to late evenings; and he was always available to serve any one in need at any hour during the night as well.

Appropriately, the sign outside his office always indicated; The Doctor Is: In

The doctor was too shy and also too busy to find someone as a mate and thus a single man. He had an assistant, a very caring and good hearted nurse who had worked with him for years. She liked and respected this man’s passion for his profession and dedication to a worthy cause. Over time, they developed liking for each other and decided to get married.

Finally, came the day of the wedding ceremony. When the doctor was about to leave his house, a couple arrived to his clinic with a very sick child who needed an emergency surgery. He forgot about everything else and focused on the sick child. The bride and the guests waited for a long time and then gave up. Feeling sad and humiliated, she left the town.

For years, the doctor kept servicing people as he always did. Eventually, life took its course and this good man died of an old age.

The whole town gathered to pay homage to this man who had served them selflessly and whom they loved dearly. One big dilemma emerged at the end of the services. What should be the right epitaph for a man who lived such a great life?

While the town people were struggling to find the right words for the inscription on his tombstone, the former nurse (yes, the bride who had waited) arrived at the scene. She had heard about her former boss’ death and had rushed to the town. The town people shared their dilemma about the epitaph with her.

After paying her respect to her former boss and saying final good bye to him, she pulled out a plaque from a hand bag and put it on his tombstone.

It read- The Doctor Is: In

(Yes, that was the same plaque that had hung outside his office during his entire life)

 My mother told me this amazingly touching story in either late 60s or early 70s. We don’t remember the source. However, if anyone knows the source, please let me know and I will pass on the credit where it is due. Thanks

 

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

Street Art

Point to Ponder: A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Glasgow High Street Mural: Artist Smug (Sam Bates)

Story Line: Following Murals are from the Street of Reykjavik

Artist Guido Van Helten

Artist: Sara Riel

Artist Name: I am still Searching 

Reflection: During recent visit to Glasgow and Reykjavik, we witnessed beautiful murals on the side of buildings. It was refreshing to know that the local government in those places encourages artists to displaycreativity on the streets. Photos above are a few samples of incredible artwork in the streets of those cities.

 

 

Spring Around The Pond

 

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' - Robin Williams