Friday Reflections

The Best Kind of Bosses.

 

Happy Boss’s Day.

POINT TO PONDER: “The best kind of people (Bosses, Mentors, and Friends) are those who come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. People who believe in you so much that you start to believe in you too. They are once in a lifetime type of people."

Story Line: A few years ago a former work colleague from China visited our place with her teenage son who had just completed the summer program at Stanford. As we were shooting the breeze in the backyard, Harry- the young man asked if I could share some lessons learnt from my time in Industry.

I have been incredibly fortunate to have met many kind, caring and helpful people in my career (Work Colleagues, Bosses and their Bosses, Supplier and Customer Representatives). Every encounter resulted in either a new friendship and/or some good learning experience.  I have shared many of these experiences in Friday Reflections over last 15 years. Today, on The Boss’s day, I would like to share the ones I told Harry (which were appropriate for his age and his immediate future) that I learnt from my Bosses and Mentors.

For every lesson below, I shared stories behind them with Harry. The Young Man seemed happy and, as the reward, recommended an Indian movie Dangal (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5074352/) that was popular in China.

Here are the key lessons from the stories I shared with Harry.

1. Ask one more question Try one more time. I was admitted for four years Bachelor in EE degree program at USC. A year and half later, I had graduated with Masters’ degree in EE and got a job in emerging industry in tough economic times. Ask One More Question
2. Being able to work with people was most important part of my success. Its’ people who make things happen not machines or algorithms.
3. Most important business relations are personal ones.
4. When you go to do one thing, come back with three. Complete the task you went for, develop new friendships and observe and learn from surroundings.
5. We get paid for solving real problems of our stakeholders (customers, investors and employees), not just reporting them or delivering  tools.
6. Learn from the mistakes/experiences of others. You will have plenty of time to make your own. Find a Mentor.
7. A desk is a dangerous place to view the world.
8. The best part of learning is doing.
9. Never have an attitude: "It’s not my job, they don’t pay me for it." Capitalize on every opportunity to earn good will, learn new things and develop new contacts.
10. Treat your job as your own business. Someone has put trust in you for the job. Be frugal, efficient in resource utilization, treat every individual with respect, be solution driven and don’t let go an opportunity (evaluate and if you cannot, refer someone else who can- will demonstrate your commitment to help and establish goodwill).

Reflection: On this auspicious day, I like to share the story about another great boss: Joe Zelayeta, a great human being I was fortunate to have as my Boss in the first company. 

His management philosophy was learned from sports, which he dearly loved and played through college. He not only taught me valuable lessons about work but also more valuable things about life. He came to Immigration with me for my Green Card call and when the Immigration officer asked me to leave the country (due to company’s HR error) he contacted the state department through our corporate office to find solution. He also took care of my entire trip logistics and expenses to bring me back. Later that year when I went to Philippines to get married, he and his boss (John East) made sure that my air ticket was covered, salary was on, and when I checked out of the hotel, the bill was covered. 

Years later, when I had called him and recounted my memories, and thanked him, this is what he said: "Good employees are hard to find. So I did everything possible to….. 

He is long retired but if he ever called me and asked me to work for him again you can guess what my answer is going to be: please read the full story in the link below....

https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2017/10/good-employees.html

It was in my heart to help a little because I was helped much. Part 3

Point to Ponder: You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. - Khalil Gibran

Story Line: As we entered the minibus in Auckland, a couple inside greeted us with a smile. They were part of a tour group to Hobbiton. While walking around in the park, noticing that they were taking selfies or picture of one of them at a time, I offered to take their photographs. The conversation that followed after a few camera clicks resulted in us discovering the common interests. After a long successful career, Santosh had sold his company and ventured into the next phase of life; 50 days excursion in New Zealand and Australia with his wife was the first part of this phase. They were from the east coast of USA and they had some friends from school days who lived in the Silicon Valley. At the end of the day tour, we exchanged contact information and sent periodic messages.

We met again when they visited San Francisco a year later and continued our friendship with more interaction through frequent messages and phone calls. Last year Santosh travelled to Rishikesh in India to learn various meditation techniques.

A few months ago, in one of our phone calls I mentioned to him that the current Covid crisis, political situation in our country and bombardment of negative news had taken its toll on my moods; feeling anxious, edgy and worried. Santosh mentioned that meditation might help in calming nerves and he graciously offered to do weekly Zoom sessions and teach me what he had learnt.

Since June1st, we have had seven sessions on every Monday; followed by me practicing the learnings every day. With change in diet, thought process and breathing techniques, my blood pressure has gone down on average 15 points and pulse rate by about 20 points. I don’t recollect being this calm since my college days. In last few weeks, with Santosh’s blessings, I have shared his teaching and advices to friends who too have benefited.

All these because of a chance encounter in a tour bus in New Zealand.

Reflection: I have been incredibly fortunate in my life journey to have met so many kind, caring and helpful individuals; most of whom I have met through chance encounters. They have all played a significant role in the wonderful life I've led.

They have enriched me with an enormous wealth of experiences and stories that have been shared in Friday Reflections through the years. I wouldn't have had such a beautiful career and life without the help and encouragement from so many people. I express my sincere thanks to all those individuals and the readers as we are ending the last week of the 35^th year from when Friday Reflections began (August 5, 1985) and 15^th year since they went on internet.

It was in my heart to help a little because I was helped much: Part 1 and 2 were published in 2017.

https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2017/08/it-was-in-my-heart.html

https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2017/11/it-was-in-my-heart-part2.html

"Dumb Fred" Episode 1: Original Fred Story as the starter.*

Point to Ponder: Never ridicule anyone because they are different and/or do not fit “The System”. There are many pathways to real success in life.

During past fifteen years of Reflections, occasionally some readers have asked: Don’t you have any negative experiences from personal life and learnings from which you can share? Seems almost all of the stories so far have positive spin on them.

Ok, as we are approaching 15^th anniversary on internet (August 5, 2005), for the two reflections starting next week, I will share a few such experiences that have been in backlog for several years. Though negative looking at times, fortunately the end results have turned out well. But before those stories, for this week, let me share one starter for the warmup.

Story Line: “Dumb Fred”

In 1988, my wife and I attended a seminar in San Jose. The speaker was entertaining and told us many stories to deliver key messages, one of those I have never forgotten.

In one school there was a kid named Fred who was not well versed with “current trends in social affairs” and not good in the regular school curriculum as well. He would say things that are not standard discussion subjects, bring stories from reading various magazines that others had not heard of and they would ridicule him for “making up stories”, and ask questions in classes that teachers didn’t expect and got annoyed. He had become laughing stock of the teachers and students. He was very poor in most subjects and getting passing marks seemed to be his biggest accomplishment. Bottom Line: Fred was not well versed in normal baseline expectations. They called him “Dumb Fred”.

One time in an open competition conducted by the state (not school curriculum), Fred came first in the entire state bringing glory to the school. However the principal and the teacher, who were expecting one of their favorite star student to come first couldn’t believe that, and instead of congratulating taunted, “Fred, Are you sure you didn’t cheat? Hard to believe.”

Many years later, there was a high school reunion. The people wearing fancy suites, dresses and holding wine glasses were chatting with one another about what they had achieved in terms of career, financial status, fancy cars, where they lived etc thus catching up on the lost time.

Suddenly a big very fancy limousine pulled up which drew everyone’s attention. The chauffeur got out and opened the door. A man in very modest clothes came out. First they couldn’t recognize the guy but after a few minutes one of them exclaimed “Hey, That’s Dumb Fred.”

They were wondering how Fred could have been in a chauffeur driven limousine, so a few of them started very diplomatic gentle probing.To their surprise they found out that Fred not only owned the fancy hotel that they were in but he also owned many businesses around the country. He also had charitable organizations to help people in different walks of life.

From their score cards, it was hard to believe that Fred had attained that kind of status and results. Now that they perceived Fred’s status much higher than theirs, one of them mustered up enough courage to ask (of course very gently and politely): “Fred how did you do all these?”

“Well”, Fred started “I couldn’t make it to college because as you all know, I had bad grades and couldn’t write a good essay either. So I took a job selling food in the market. I liked talking to customers and treated them well. One day one customer asked me to join his new restaurant business." The way the rest of the story went was that Fred treated every level of employee, suppliers and customers very well and the business grew lips and bounds. It diversified into many other areas.

But what Fred said at the end was most revealing. When asked about the return on investments, Fred said,“The Businesses brought me good return of 20%/Year and thus the money tripled every three years, and with God’s grace: Here I am.”

When the classmates heard that final sentence they all looked at each other: “He is still the same ‘Dumb Fred’. How did he make it?”

Reflections: More investigation into Fred's life revealed that: He was still very poor at math and he didn’t have a clue about the compounding interest formula. But he seemed to understand the power of compounding his business by focusing on high quality products and helping people grow. Fred had a common sense to understand the real needs of society and used his gut instincts to make decisions rather than going through elaborate financial analysis. He showed keen interest in people from other cultures and beliefs, learned from diversity, and treated everyone with respect regardless of their social status. He still lived in his old neighborhood and had not learnt driving a car because he had none when he was poor and no time when his businesses took off. People who interacted with Fred loved and respected him and they went extra miles to compensate in the areas Fred was not well versed.

Most of us have had our own “Dumb Fred” moments. When they are used as learning and growing experiences, they result in positive outcomes.

Be Simple, Be humble, Be curious. No Malice, No Bitterness. Utilize every encounter in life as the learning and growing experience.

*with minor modifications/touch ups.

When Preparation Meets Opportunity.

POINT TO PONDER:  “A winning effort begins with preparation.”  - Joe Gibbs

STORYLINE: by Jim Mulready (repeat from March 8,2012)

Rock guitarist Ronnie Montrose grew up admiring musicians like Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Jimmy Hendrix. Born in San Francisco and reared in Denver, he returned to San Francisco in 1968 to be around the “San Francisco Sound” that was becoming popular at the time. Music was his passion; he practiced in the evening and supported himself doing repair and carpentry jobs during the day. He was the kind of young man most people would think of as “just another starving musician.”

In 1970, while doing an office remodel, he met promoter Bill Graham who introduced him to his partner and music producer, David Rubinson. Graham and Rubinson ran a small record label at the time (Fillmore Records) and after watching Montrose play with his band, Sawbuck, they signed them to a recording contract. Rubinson was so impressed with Montrose's talent and ambition that he got him some session work with the Pointer Sisters and keyboardist Herbie Hancock. Then came his big break.

In 1971, Van Morrison was assembling a band for a new album, eventually released as Tupelo Honey. Rubinson secured Montrose an audition and he got the job. After two albums Morrison moved onto another band and Ronny got a job touring with Boz Scaggs for 3 months.

Now established, Montrose went on to a 40+ year musical career. In addition to forming his own band several times, he played with such bright lights as Sammy Hagar, Edgar Winters, the Neville Brothers, the Beau Brummels, and many others. He continues doing session work for many other performers and recorded countless movie soundtracks.

He continued touring until his untimely death from prostrate cancer last week (March 3, 2012), passing at the age of 64 years.

REFLECTION

At some point you will meet someone who will absolutely change the direction of your life. You won't see it coming and you probably won't even realize it while it's happening. Only in hindsight will it become obvious who that person meant. When Ronnie Montrose took that carpentry job remodeling an office, he had no idea who Bill Graham and David Rubinson were, but they saw his talent and gave him a chance.

Ronnie took care of the preparation by being the best musician he could; Graham and Rubinson provided opportunity. Preparation + Opportunity = Success. What have you done today to prepare yourself? 

The Basics

POINT TO PONDER: Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know- Pema Chodron

STORY LINE: I have been fortunate to have learned a great deal from many wonderful mentors, teachers, and bosses in my life. Even in the pressure cooker environment of High Technology people have taken the time to impart “soft” lessons to me. The following lesson, written by an unknown author, was given to me by one of my senior colleagues and a friend during the mid-part of my career. Looking back, he meant well.

The Basics

You Will Receive A Body
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.  

You Will Have Learning Experiences
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons - you may like the lesson or think them irrelevant and stupid.  

There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons
There is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works'.  

A Lesson Is Repeated Until It Is Learned
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.  

Learning Does Not End. 
There is no part of Life that does not contain learning. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.  

'There' Is No Better Than 'Here'. 
When your 'there' has become a 'here', you will simply obtain another 'there' that will again look better than 'here'.  

Others Are Merely Mirrors Of You. 
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.  

What You Make Of Your Life Is Up To You. 
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.  

Your Answers Lie Inside You. 
The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need do is look, listen and trust. 

You Can Forget All This or Make it Worthwhile.

Breaking a Rookie into the Game. Promoting an Employee to the Next Level.

Point to Ponder: In business or in sports, people are hired based on their skills. The day of reckoning is when a person is asked to perform in situations where the game is on the line with thousands of people screaming and loud music playing in the background.

Story Line: Most organizations like corporations, sports teams, studios, normally go through a rigorous screening process to select “the right” candidate for a job.

But what determines the success of an employee and/or the team going forward? There is a dual responsibility here; on the employee and much more on the manager. Assessing when to break/introduce a person in different situations is an extremely important aspect of coaching and managing.

In the early 90s, a major league baseball team needed to win the final game of the season to get into the playoffs.

For the most crucial game of the season, the manager had two reliable veterans available to pitch but he decided to go with a very promising, hard throwing rookie pitcher.

He was known for being people’s manager and possibly envisioned headline stories written about the boldness and the genius of him, and the guts of the rookie. But the experienced fans who had watched the rookie’s performance during the regular season were concerned that even though he was impressive and talented, he had not been tested in any high pressure situations during the regular season.

For those who watched the game, the rest is history. With a few hits from the opponents, the rookie crumbled. The opponents piled up a huge lead against the rookie pitcher by the third inning and the team never recovered and lost.

The most promising rookie of the year could not recover from the emotional shock and left baseball. His attempt to return a few years later was not successful.

With that decision on that fateful day, the manager did disservice to the team and ruined the career of a very promising young man.

Reflection:

I have seen such things happen several times in my career and at every level of the organization. Putting bright employees in charge of managing projects without training or coaching about people management skills and emotional readiness, asking very promising employee to present in front of a very hostile senior management without understanding his emotional maturity and preparing him for the audience, promoting good employees to the next level without necessary political savviness and emotional maturity.

I have also seen cases on the other side where young rookie employees with great potential, with good coaching and mentoring, have hit home run (did extremely well) in the big league (complex projects, interactions with senior management) in their first at bat.

This is an important lesson for managers and leaders in any field. Before promoting a person or assigning him/her to manage crucial tasks in a high pressure environment (Big League), asses if the person is emotionally/mentally ready to handle that level of challenges. If not, spend more time in coaching and preparation.

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

Give the ones you love wings to fly

 

Point to Ponder: I believe the children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. --- from The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston

Story Line: Late last year many of our friends were busy visiting various college campuses with their children who will be graduating soon. Now that the verdicts are in and college selections are made, great preparations are going on for the journey to the new world for children. For parents it is the time of mixed emotions; happy to know their children will enter the next phase of life while they will need to adjust to the life without them; an empty nest.

While we are getting the updates from our friends, one humming bird conducted parallel activity right by our window under the extended roof; she laid eggs, had two cute babies and cared for them until they flew out. My mother and I watched the entire process; me observing several times a day while my mother spending a lot more time. The journey from the birth to an empty nest are captured in the video at the top.

It was fascinating and educational to see how the hummingbird mom selected the location; safe from predators and environmental conditions. (But not good for our recently cleaned window.J).  Even during the gusty winds of 40 miles per hour, the nest and babies did not fall down. The location was hard for bandits like Raven, Blue Jays and Mocking Birds who were constantly scouting for newborns (Spring Feast) from a large pole or nearby trees. But this location would have been too hard for them to get in and easily fly out.

She also made sure to come for feeding only when the bandits were not around. When they were on the pole or trees, she would fly around them and then go inside some far tree to distract them about the location. She fed each baby for almost equal time.

Ten days after birth, the babies started flapping their wings in preparation for the upcoming flight. Reminded me about plane flights where pilots do pre-checks before starting take off. The first one took off on The Tax Day (4/15) and tried his newly acquired flying skills for a few hours. But it seemed that it had hard time catching bugs so returned to the nest to join the sibling for the family lunch-on. Seemed the mother had some words with him/her because after that meal he/she never returned to the nest but was seen catching bugs in flight with the mom. Guess the first time he/she had flown off without proper training. (not listening to parents to be patient)

The second one was a late bloomer. Seems like he/she had filed an extension and waited for two more days to fly off. And fly he/she did. Right in front of the Blue Jay waiting on the pole. Risk Taking, Near Miss or Confidence; Whatever. Mom made sure that the little one knows the danger by flying with him/her that afternoon and also conducted proper training in catching bugs.

For the past two days, my mom and I are dealing with an empty nest. On the positive side, all of them have come by to greet in early morning or late afternoon.

Reflection: There are so many similarities in how different species prepare their young ones for the world they would be living in. Watching the entire process was educational and pure joy. (Even Window cleaning will have pleasant memories.)

Many events of this story are captured in a short video at the top of this reflection.

As many parents are getting ready for dealing with an empty nest, I would end with the following thought: Be Happy-You Did Good.

Note: For countries with no Youtube Access Use Vimeo Platform Link: https://vimeo.com/331296081 

The Best .... in the Planet

Point to Ponder: An Empty Vessel Sounds More – Indian Proverb

Story Line: Whenever I hear or read things like: We are the best company/people/organization in the Planet, some lifetime experiences resurface in my mind. Here are a few:

There was a textile mill (#1 at the time) in the town I grew up. For a while they had huge control on the market place due to their size, resources, connections and a special clothing material and seemed invincible. One of our relatives worked there in sales department. He used to say that his was the best team in the world until someone pointed out that they were the only one with that product at that time and his team didn’t need to do much to sell it. The real test came when the competition came in and economy worsened. The best team in the world, resting on their laurels and indulged in self-admiration, and having done nothing innovative and lacking imagination or real experience fizzled. Eventually with that kind mindset prevalent over the entire mill, they went under and got sold.

There is another story I heard in the later years where the company believed that they had the best manufacturing in the world, “The Best Bar None”, and will not allow outsiders, even the major customers, to go inside their facilities. Over time, they started losing their edge and lost tons of money. A new leader came in. He openly invited a major customer to go inside their factory and found out from them that his company was far behind the world in technology and manufacturing practices. Instead of prevalent mentality of Being the Best in the Universe and avoiding looking outside, he spent months in learning the best practices around the world. Upon return, he opened the closed minds and the company recovered and thrived.

Reflection: My father used to say: In good times you don’t have to do much to do sell anything or get a job in a good company. The real test of a person comes in during the bad times. Can you increase your sales during real bad times, can you find a job with a good company during worst of times?
The people and organizations who are humble, not resting on their laurels and constantly innovating make it through tough times and come out strong. Whereas the ones who are intoxicated with the arrogance and false sense of pride find out soon that they did not have any tangible value to offer (except EGO (if it is considered tangible value) either inside or outside; and panic and eventually perish.

So Be Humble, Be Open, Be Part of this World and Keep focus on being better than what you used to be. You will go a long way.

Seeing Autumn in The Silicon Valley

Point to Ponder: There is beauty wherever we have the ability to see it; for beauty lies in the one that experiences it.--Sujat Shah

Story Line: A week ago while observing some of the majestic, autumnal colors on the trees on our street; I told my wife, “come out and look outside. There are beautiful autumn colors in the neighborhood.” She smiled and wondered aloud, “where have you been all these years? They have been here every autumn for last 20 years that we have lived here. ”Autumn In Silicon Valley

Newly Awakened, I drove around the Silicon Valley looking at the same things I had many times before, but started seeing them differently. Whenever I am travelling to different places and see such an immense beauty, I unleash the capability of my camera to its fullest and take many photos. So in order to be fair and nonpartial, I went around the neighborhood and let my camera roll. (except for the photos of Golden Gate Bridge and two subsequent ones, the rest of the photos are from the Silicon Valley.)

Reflection: This encounter reminded me of a reflection three years ago (Better than the Best) when a fellow traveler in Fiji asked us which place was the best amongst all we had been in the world. Below are a few paragraphs from that reflection.

My wife and I reflected on this encounter in the evening over dinner. We recalled every destination we have been to in last six months and all of them had beautiful places, cultures and people. A pattern emerged as all too often we would ask ourselves in each new place, “Can there be a place better than this?” And when the next encounter came, we wondered the same thing.

This feeling did not go away once we returned home and went to the marshlands in Palo Alto. My wife and I watched as this white egret glided past us, rising higher over the marsh, and into the distance against a spectacular view of the San Francisco Bay. It was free, it was graceful, and it was beautiful. And for a quiet moment we both just watched… Once it was gone, I finally had my answer. I turned to my wife and said, “This place. This is the best. Right here and right now…”

“Only later do we realize, in the next encounter, that beauty is everywhere in this world all around you: in nature, in cultures, and in people. If we can get in harmony with the present.”