Friday Reflections

Success leaves clues

From Left to Right: Row 1: Photos of City Ong (aka CT) and Adventures of Gautam. Row 2: Art of Shubhada and Signature Smile of Xiomara

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to Ponder: Success leaves clues. Go figure out what someone who was successful did, and model it. Improve it, but learn their steps. They have knowledge – Tony Robbins

Storyline: Recently, we’ve spotlighted some people who exhibit extraordinary passion, creativity, and kindness despite maintaining busy work lives.  Looking at these remarkable stories, we’ve identified a few commonalities:

1. Childhood experiences: How people grow up is important in building the foundation for who they become as adults.  Shubhada grew up immersed in art and science; Xiomara lived in a social neighborhood where everyone knew each other; and Gautam spent his youth watching sunsets and exploring forests in the remote outskirts of Mysore, India. For CT, the youngest child with the big age gap with siblings, he exercised his imagination while playing alone.
2. Support and encouragement: Having a supportive environment and people who are invested in your well-being is key.  In addition to having parents who made sure he didn’t overwork himself, Gautam had a friend in high school who took him under her wing and helped him navigate the tumult of adolescence. Shubhada had very supportive parents. CT and Xiomara were deeply influenced by their mothers.
3. A turning point: Several of our subjects can pinpoint the moment they discovered their passion, whether by volunteering to take photos at a conference (CT) or borrowing money from their best friend to buy a train ticket to Nepal (Gautam).
4. Curiosity/risk-taking: Our subjects like to venture beyond the beaten path, driven by a desire to see the world in new and exciting ways.  Shubhada utilizes out-of-the-box thinking (OBT) in both her engineering career and her artwork; Gautam seeks out the roads less traveled as he explores new countries; and CT finds his camera lens drawn to everything from sunsets to animals to a drop of dew on a leaf.
5. Building a relationship between passion and profession: Just because your interests are diverse doesn’t mean lessons from one can’t be applied to the other.  Shubhada approaches both engineering and art with creativity and a methodical focus, and CT finds he’s at his most focused and ready to work after he’s spent some time taking photographs.
6. COVID as an opportunity: With the pandemic slowing life down, our subjects have embraced their passions.  CT documented life in his Malaysian neighborhood, Gautam and his family hit the road to Florida and Yosemite, Shubhada drew daily charcoal portraits of inspiring people, and Xiomara encouraged those around her to remain positive despite the circumstances. 
7. Love first: Though some make money from their passion, they do it primarily because they love it, and because they want to share the joy it brings them with the world.

Reflection: In Developing Talent in Young People, psychologist Benjamin Bloom identifies three key elements that are crucial to helping children discover and foster lifelong passions: exposure, support, and coaching.

My younger brother and I have been lucky enough to have parents willing to allow us to experience and experiment with different interests rather than limiting us to a rigid set of expectations.  As a family, we love to travel–and to eat–and over the years my brother and I have been exposed to all sorts of different places (and different types of food).  For my brother, a weekend is not complete if we haven’t hit the road–whether it’s a drive along the coast, a trip out to the new mochi donut shop, or even running errands at Costco.

Our parents have supported us in all our ventures as we tried new things: while neither of us took a liking to soccer, I enjoyed my ballet classes at the local rec center, and my brother is an avid runner.  Their support, both emotionally and financially, has enabled us to receive proper coaching in order to hone our skills, from my brother’s weekly cross-country practices to my continuing education in writing and literature at a university whose faculty are committed to helping their students develop their craft and grow as artists.

But you don’t have to be a young person to find your passion, to discover what excites you.  Expose yourself to new things, open yourself to new experiences.  Find a friend (or two–maybe more) to support and encourage you–and don’t be afraid to seek out a mentor!  You’re never too old–or too young–to find what you love.

Do What You Love

Live the Life You Imagined

The Path of Life

There is Art in Science and Science in Art

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

Anand and Phoebe first met at a Kid-to-Work Day over two decades ago. Once a week, they meet to discuss the various stories, experiences, memories, and lessons he's collected over the years. They approach each conversation from two different stages in life, one looking forward, the other looking back.

There is Art in Science, and There is Science in Art (Do What You Love - Part 3)

“If you’re having a good time in your own company, it’s a good sign that you’re happy and you enjoy what you do.” -Shubhada 

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to Ponder:  “Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking about it differently.” –Albert Szent-Györgyi

Storyline: From majestic landscapes to portraits of renowned historical figures, Shubhada Sahasrabudhe’s art captures beauty in all sorts of places.

An engineer by trade, working at one of the world’s largest tech companies, Shubhada grew up in two worlds: art and science.  “I lived in an engineering town that manufactured pumps, and my dad worked in research and development,” she says.  “But art was in the house all the time.  My dad did outstanding sketches and paintings, and we spent our evenings sitting side-by-side with him and watching him work, doing random art projects-Even his engineering drawings.”  Growing up close to the process of creation, both at the pump factory and at home, instilled a strong sense of curiosity in Shubhada–“We were told to always be curious, not to stop at what but to ask why”–as well as a strong creative drive: “There was this push to be original,” she says.  “My parents told me, ‘You have to create something that belongs to you.  You're not an artist or a scientist unless you have contributed.’”

With limited supplies around the house, Shubhada often spent her childhood drawing in dirt roads with a stick which interestingly and unknowingly connected her to sand as a medium which she used years later.  “It was like an unlimited canvas,” she says.  Though she now has access to more traditional mediums, such as oil and acrylic, she still enjoys working with less conventional materials.  “I’ve always been an experimentalist, so I always try a new technique–anything that stains with a pigment is my medium,” she says.  “If I finish my coffee and I have a little left at the bottom, I will use it.” Her sand art in particular has garnered much attention, including a guest appearance on the Nickelodeon show Ryan’s Mystery Playdate.

Despite coming up in a workplace culture where hobbies and leisure time were challenging, Shubhada takes both her engineering and artistic career equally seriously.  “I don’t think I’ve ever felt like art and science are distinct things,” she says.  “To me they are so blurry and so similar. Yes, there is more system to science, but you see both elements–system and random–in different ways.  When I begin a painting, I don’t start with the details: I do the big strokes first to get the basic form and values together, and that defines my painting.  That’s exactly how I think of engineering: whenever I look at a problem statement, I look at the broad strokes and ask myself, What am I trying to do?  Once I have those pieces, I know how to fill in the minor details.  Knowing the end point helps guide your next steps.” Science and engineering also played a major role in Shubhada’s sand art, from constructing the worktable (which Shubhada designed and built herself) to finding the right type of sand: “I went to twenty different beaches to get as many sand samples as possible,” she says.

Though balancing work and life can be challenging, Shubhada says making time to do what she loves is worth every minute.  “Painting for hours is meditative,” she explains.  “It’s the most neutral feeling you can have, which is so rare in this day and age: not happy, not sad, just neutral and satisfied.”  She’s made it a priority to share that feeling with others, whether it’s teaching three and a half hours of back-to-back weekly classes through her art academy or finishing and posting a charcoal portrait every day for 140 days during quarantine. Sketch a Day  “I tried to use my art to combat the negativity and sadness,” she says.  “If you’re having a good time in your own company, it’s a good sign that you’re happy and you enjoy what you do.”

*For her contributions in the field of science, Shubhada recently received an esteem award "Women Engineer of the Year"  by American Sociery of Mechanical Engineers. Being recognized in the areas of her profession as well passion demonstrates her commitment to excellence in whatever she takes up.*

Reflection: I’ve always envied creatives who work in math and science: my physics and bio major friends who draw, write, and paint, who can navigate these two seemingly opposing fields, one world as foreign to me as the other is familiar.  Talking with Shubhada gave me insight into that fluidity: it’s about having a certain mentality, an approach that combines order and creativity and, most of all, an eagerness to learn.

At the end of the day, though the work may be different, the processes are more similar than we think, and the ultimate goal is the same: both science and art attempt to make sense of how the world works.  Science tells its own kind of story, the histories of who we are and how we got here, how the world moves around us and how we move within it.  And art is its own kind of science, an ongoing process of trial and error and building on the ideas of those that came before you, expanding our view of the world, defining and redefining truth.

For Anand, the son of two artists, interviewing Shubhada brought back a lot of memories of his own childhood, and how drawing on those creative experiences influenced his approach to problem-solving, enabling him to look at things differently and formulate solutions.

Our community of readers consists of people with a variety of different passions.  Though these may seem different on the surface, all have similarities in terms of process and approach, and all have valuable lessons that can be applied to different contexts.  But most importantly, no matter your line of work, putting your heart, enthusiasm, and soul into your endeavors will help you succeed.

 You can support Shubhada’s work by visiting her  WEBSITE or following her on Facebook.

Attachments: Versatility of the artist.

 

 

 

*late addition paragraph by Anand*

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

Anand and Phoebe first met at a Kid-to-Work Day over two decades ago. Once a week, they meet to discuss the various stories, experiences, memories, and lessons he's collected over the years. They approach each conversation from two different stages in life, one looking forward, the other looking back.

Things Shared Are Never Lost (on 16th/36th Anniversary)

Points to Ponder: We are never really happy until we try to brighten the lives of others - Helen Keller

Story Line: Friday Reflections Through The Years ( a few sample images from 713 posts)

Reflection: What began in August 1985 as the stories I would tell our children on weekly Friday Evening rides became an asset while launching an Out of the Box Thinking class in the year 2004 in Penang, Malaysia and Cavite, Philippines. Participants liked the different concepts that were explained through stories of people, places and experiences. Per their request, Friday Reflection on internet was officially launched on August 5, 2005. Thanks to all for your encouragement, ideas, feedback and support for past sixteen years. ❤️🌅

Images above represent the seven values of Friday Reflections. Some of these were shared by readers and featured in reflections through the years.

Seven Values Are: 1. Keep on Learning New Skills. 2. Assume Responsibility 3. People and Relationships 4. Flexibility 5. Take Risks 6. Passion 7. Performance and Results. 

Dance like no one is watching (for some lighter moments)

Points to Ponder: “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – Mark Twain

Story Line:  July 16^th is the birth anniversary of someone I know from the day I was born. It is also birthday of three wonderful people I met through my various work assignments. Happy Birthday.

The person I know from childhood taught me many good lessons through mentoring, coaching and care. Over past 16 years, I have shared those lessons in Friday Reflections. Not so well versed in Science and  other school subjects, He (my father) along with my mother spent considerable time giving me exposure to three areas they considered as very valuable for life; Reading, Sports and Theater.

When it came to theater, I was nervous at first, afraid that I may look silly or foolish in front of the audience and they would laugh at me. To that he would say “If you can make people laugh with your silliness and make them happy; You did good.” He emphasized that too much thinking would cause nervousness. He taught me how to perform (sing, act, dance) impromptu to gain confidence. His encouraging words were “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

Reflection: Today, I like to share how I have incorporated some of his learnings in my life. A break from normal FR subjects to have some lighter moments. Each video is a few seconds from longer events.

Dance like no one is watching: Penang, Malaysia in 2005. Intel Materials Group World Wide Summit.

Sing like no one is listening: Suva, Fiji in 2015

Love like you’ve never been hurt:Campbell, California in 2011.Dinner after our staff meeting. Caution: handle with care. you may never have been hurt before but after this activity you might.

Live like it is heaven on earth. An Evening in Okinawa, Japan, 2020. In Okinawan Cuisine. Snapshots from a long evening of dancing.

And It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work*: In the streets of Busan, Korea in 2013. Celebration of the United Nations Day Anniversary on the beachfront road.

I hope my father would be proud of my impromptu adventures. Happy 94th Birth Anniversary. 

*This line from a song “Come from my heart” by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh.

Revisiting "The Last Lecture" in current times.

Points to Ponder:

The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have. – Randy Pausch

Story line: It was summer of 1991. We were returning from vacation from Pacific Northwest. Traffic had come to a stand still on the Highway 505. After a while, traffic started moving very slowly and we reached the location of the traffic jam. Horrific accident, worst I have witnessed in my life; I still shiver thinking about it. Cars were slowing down or had completely stopped to witness the terrible human tragedy. After passing the scene, people seemed stunned silent in their cars and traffic was moving way below the speed limit. But after about 20 minutes cars gradually started picking up speed and very soon it was back to “let the old ways roll.”  Many cars started speeding way above the speed limit. Since that day, I have carefully witnessed the movement of the cars while crossing accidents on the road. Unfortunately the behavior I witnessed on that fateful day in 1991 continues to repeat.

During this Pandemic, I think often about this experience. In the beginning months of Covid, there was overwhelming load of information circulating amongst well-meaning friends and social networks about; human connections, respect for nature, environment, love for all living beings, “essential workers”, simpler life, prevention focus and more. I can go on and on about the reflections and realizations that made us think and act deeper. People seemed to recognize that “The things that matter most should not be put at the mercy of the things that matter least.” This event brought many people closer, made environment cleaner and raised prevention awareness.

Reflection: However as the Pandemic shows the sign of subsiding, my mind keeps drifting to that day in 1991. 

As the old saying goes, “Things that come to you come at a time when you need them the most to go to the next level”. Few days ago, I remembered a gift I had received a decade ago from a friend from Costa Rica. It was the book called: The Last Lecture by Professor Randy Pausch. Randy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had few months to live. He delivered his “Last Lecture” titled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” in September 2007. The Last Lecture talk series was based on the theme “What wisdom would you try to impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?”

The book is worth reading not only to reflect on what world went through in past 18 months but also to shape bright wonderful future for us. Next month happens to be the 13^th anniversary of Randy Pausch’s last day on earth. (July 25, 2008).

The shorter video on the top of this article covers some key messages from his book. For people interested in learning further, below is the link to his full lecture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=youtu.be

 “It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s about how to lead your life…If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.”

 

Tough times do not last, but tough people do ...(My Lola-10 Years Later)

Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption

Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:

In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s.  Here is her story:

She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.

During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*

Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.

Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.

Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself.  She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.

Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”

“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”

Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time.  She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”

This story was originally published in November 2008.  Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.

As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.” 

Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was  incorporated in my work and personal life.

Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:

"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do'  is a quote by Robert H. Schuller

 

 

Akshar(E): Thinking outside the box for Education, Environment and Empowerment.

   

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

Point to Ponder: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead

Story Line: For past month I was thinking of an appropriate story for this special week of Good Friday and Easter. As an old saying goes “Things come to you at a time when you need them the most to get to the next stage, but you must learn from those things first.”

Two weeks ago childhood friends shared information about Akshar, a foundation and the school in Assam, India that accepts plastics (bottles, bags..) as fees in exchange for practical education and also uses innovative approach to utilize child labor to eliminate child labor Child Labor. Many of these children would have otherwise been working as laborers to earn living for their families and they would have never gotten an opportunity to go to school. It was fascinating to see out of the box approach for three Rs’ (Reduce,Reuse,Recycle) in all aspects of their operations.

Last week I had a good fortune to attend a short talk by the founder of Akshar, Dr. Alaka Sharma who has dedicated her life in the service of poor people and indigenous tribes in North East India. At the age of 22, she left her home in Mumbai to help people in the faraway land. In 2014, together with her daughter and son in law they started this school that has created a paradigm shift in education. Vision: Teach them how to save the world.

Instead of writing details of their approach and results here, I would like to share comprehensive and inspiring information about this organization that is already presented well in the website.

I believe their story of service to people in need is timely and appropriate to review and reflect for this special week. 

Mission, Objectives and Key Results

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/

Accountability: Also please look at their annual reports in the following section:

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/media

Reflection: In the past 16 years of over 700 posts, there are just a few stories that have classified under all seven values of Friday Reflections. This is one of those rare stories that is true to FR motto: Things that are given away are never lost and all seven values; Passion, Assume Responsibility, Keep on Learning New Skills, People and Relationships, Flexibility and Performance and Results.

In the words of Mother Teresa “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”  

Happy Easter to Friends around the World

One Person’s Trash Is Another’s Treasure. Resources vs Resourcefulness.

There Is No Such Thing As Rubbish

by the children playing in the street corner. Siem Reap, Cambodia. Photo by Luisa Go Shah

Point to Ponder: ‘If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.' Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Story Line: During our trip to Siem Reap in 2016, we saw these five little kids playing in a street corner. They had just released the model UC; convertible, all-wheel drive, thread controlled human pull car with the capability of carrying heavy load. Each one of them was taking turns in test driving this new model.

Reflection: The model UC (Unlimited Creativity) was the product of these kids’ imagination and the excellent team work. They had engaged in the creative use of resources (milk bottles, caps, wood sticks, pebbles themselves etc). All materials used in building this product were domestically produced and obtained at no cost from garbage can, trees and river bank.

And they seemed to be very happy enjoying their Made in Cambodia product.

Remembering the words of Great Teacher Tony Robbins: It's not resources but resourcefulness that ultimately makes the difference.

 

Republished with the comments of readers from the first publication dated July 14, 2016.

Comments

Recycle, Reuse, Reduce.

Posted by: Save our Planet | July 14, 2016 at 08:28 PM

Don't let this Benchmarks get to our management.
Soon they will replace us all, last of the survivors, with Cambodian kids.

Posted by: Wortied | July 14, 2016 at 10:05 PM

We experience it in Pulp industry in Indonesia (or anywhere else). Pulp production produces good and poor quality pulp (off grade). Our Norwagian Pulp mill manager announce there's no off grade in my Mill. Off grade has its uses like using for brown papers, Cartons, paper bags, etc. It has a price.

Posted by: Suresh Shah | July 15, 2016 at 02:41 AM

Make Cambodia Great Again initiative? 😂

Posted by: Rajan | July 15, 2016 at 07:14 AM

Imagination, Visualization and Creativity are skills that are all different and some children are allowed to learn them, some learn them on their own and some it is just part of their DNA.
Imagination is the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses. Imagination and dreaming can coincide to help people feel something they want to do. Visualization is the formation of mental visual images or actually sting pictures in your mind of what you are want to do, say or build. Some people have a hard time visualizing, some have a difficult time visualizing in color or more than two dimensionally but kids allowed, taught and encourage learn to take what they imagine and put it in mental pictures in three dimensions and /or put it on paper or express it through art. Many adults have lost that skill. Creativity is the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination. Many children and some adults are creative but many are taught to "stay within the lines" or "don't imagine things you can't, shouldn't or don't have the ability to do. Children in the right environments learn all three more easily than adults mostly because they have learned that they "can't."

Posted by: Lonnie Hurst | July 15, 2016 at 07:19 AM

For you every encounter is a learning experience.

Thanks for continuing to share your experiences.

Posted by: Jason | July 15, 2016 at 07:51 AM

Anand - I applaud your creativity along with that of these kids. I may have seen a similar scene several times on a trip to India- but I could never have "seen" it in the way you have, much less described it in this way.
Fun can be had without high tech fancy gadgets. Its great to see that these kids actually are outdoors- and looking around at the surroundings-( vs. a screen) and creating - without parental interference :)
I second the sentiments from @ Jason

Posted by: Madhuri | July 15, 2016 at 09:21 AM

This is such a great reminder/lesson… we spoil our kids when we don’t need to and we ruin their natural imaginative powers.

Take care

Posted by: BHSC | July 15, 2016 at 10:15 AM

I noticed this photo among a set that you shared among a group of friends. I was very impressed but didn't mention it to you. So how nice to see the photo given a spotlight in FridayReflections!

I am reminded of an adage I once heard about parenting, which is attributed to Dear Abby (Abigail van Buren, real name Pauline Phillips):
“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.”

Posted by: Levi's | July 15, 2016 at 04:01 PM

Pardon me but the model in above picture seems two wheel drive.
Still a great idea and superb reflection. Thanks

Posted by: Auto Fan since childhoodh | July 15, 2016 at 05:04 PM

Today, or so it appears to me, time for children is too structured (art, gymnastics, sports, dance, scouts, music, etc. ) and although some of this is needed, there needs to be time for kids to just learn how to entertain themselves doing things like: playing in the creek, climbing trees, breaking glass bottles in an illegal dump, knocking down bees' nests, building tunnels with hay bales in the barn, riding your bike to the fishing hole. As Levi posted above, all these things can be accomplished with little or no money. When I was a kid, when we went fishing, we each bought a can of soda and a big of chips for $.25 to take along with us for the 4+ mile ride.

Posted by: Mark Dennen | July 16, 2016 at 04:30 AM

 

A bend in the road is not the end of the road….Unless you fail to make the turn*

Point to Ponder: Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did – Steve Jobs

Story Line: July 10, 1979, Oakland Coliseum. It was the very first concert in my life; courtesy of my wife who had introduced me to western music since the first time we met. The performers were Bee Gees, three brothers who composed, produced and recorded the songs. In the previous three years they had six consecutive #1 singles on the Hot 100 charts; Saturday Night Fever and Spirits Having Flown being the last two of those six.

They entertained the packed audience with many of their famous songs and also introduced their youngest brother (4^th) Andy who also participated and enchanted the audience with his beautiful voice. Not one person in the coliseum that night could have known how an event two days later in Comiskey Park in Chicago will impact Bee Gees and alter the course of their career.

Yesterday while watching the newly released documentary about Bee Gees, I leaned details about that event.

Disco Demolition Night: A Bend in the road….

**In the late 1970s, dance-oriented disco was the most popular music genre in the United States, particularly after being featured in hit films such as Saturday Night Fever (1977). However, disco sparked a major backlash from rock music fans—an opposition prominent enough that the White Sox, seeking to fill seats at Comiskey Park during a lackluster season, engaged Chicago shock jock and anti-disco campaigner Steve Dahl for the promotion at the July 12 doubleheader. Admission was discounted to 98 cents for attendees who turned in a disco record; between games. White Sox officials had hoped for a crowd of 20,000, about 5,000 more than usual. Instead, at least 50,000—including tens of thousands of Dahl's adherents—packed the stadium, and thousands more continued to sneak in after gates were closed. Dahl blew up the collected records.**

Additionally, some conservative groups disliked that Disco fans were pushing for agendas for gender equality, civil rights and gay rights. They vehemently opposed and preached against Disco culture and performers. That resulted in major backlash, many radio stations dropped Bee Gees from their playlists, death threats followed and fallout in their career.

….and taking turn

Music is what Bee Gees loved since childhood. They wrote their own songs. Performing on stage was a vehicle to bring their feelings to the audiences. With the stage career declining, but their love and passion still burning strong, they decided to write songs for other known artists. The songs and albums they created for Barbra Streisand, Dionne Warwick, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, Diana Ross and other artists became top hits; and Bee Gees stayed true to the theme of their famous song Staying Alive.

Not the end of the road - Comeback.

In 1987, Bee Gees released their first album in six years- E.S.P.-which sold over 3 million copies. That was a resurgence of their career. For the next 16 years, they kept performing until the brother Maurice died unexpectedly due to surgery complication. For six decades they entertained people around the world with their songs.

Reflection: I was introduced to Bee Gees songs in 1978 by my childhood pen-friend then and now my wife. Through the years I have enjoyed their songs. But I did not know much about their life until I saw the recently released HBO documentary The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

Bee Gees had many up and downs in their career. What kept them going was their love for music and flexibility to take an appropriate turn. The title of the documentary is very fitting in the sense that the song How Can You Mend A Broken Heart was written at another inflexion point in their career. After phenomenal success throughout 1960s, they had split up in 1969 because of disagreements. But their love for each other was stronger than the differences and they couldn’t stay apart too long. They reunited and created songs that represented their time away: Lonely Days and How Can You Mend A Broken Heart which reached top in the charts in 1971.

Three younger brothers (Andy, Maurice and Robin) have passed away longtime ago . At the end of the movie Barry talks about how much he misses them. He says that he would trade all the hit songs for them to be here now.

Bee Gees singing How can you mend a broken heart after Reunion:

 

*Quote from Helen Keller

**Source: Wikipedia

One Person Who Was There For Every Single Person

Point to Ponder: What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.-Hans Urs von Balthasar, Prayer

About two and half years ago, I wrote a story about a person who inspired us to visit American Samoa and Samoa; two splendidly beautiful, serene places in Polynesia. This reflection is an update about the inspirational life of this genuinely kind person.

Story Line:  A vintage burgundy corvette pulled up in the front of our home. A tall man with large shoulders slowly climbed out of the compact car and ambled up to our front door. When I answered I was met with a man who was larger than life who, in a very soft and polite voice, introduced himself as Setu Eliapo and informed us that he was told by our friend that we needed someone to keep our garden green. Little did I know that day, that meeting Setu would not only change the vibrance of my garden, but the vibrance of how I saw life itself.

Over 10 years, Setu maintained our garden but on those Wednesdays when he would come I found myself finding reasons to work from home, as I wanted to be there when Setu would arrive for the day’s work. Often, the work took up long time as Setu did not work fast or hurry. He moved in his own time and it was in that time that he saw things as they are and quite possibly as they could be, as evidenced by our flourishing garden. He would work calmly, at his own pace, and with great precision. If my tech driven instincts took over me and I asked for a schedule or results oriented questions, he would smile warmly and say, “Nature doesn’t hurry- don’t stress them out before they have a chance to grow.”

Setu’s life experiences ran deeper than the many seeds he had come to plant in our garden in the ten years he spent with us. We loved our time with Setu, more for the conversations we would have about our lives, our families, and the sense of calm his perspective could bring on any given day. My wife and I would spend hours speaking with him in the garden, and after some time it felt as if the professional relationship that initially connected us had become secondary. Setu was a good, humble, and compassionate man.

Setu would often tell us about his younger days in Samoa; a childhood spent by the ocean filled with daily interactions with friends and family members surrounded by fresh foods and clear spring drinking water in the abundance of nature. There were extended family reunions that took place every three years with 500+ people in attendance, his beautiful village by the ocean and enjoying life day by day.

Setu had always loved sports cars*. In his younger days he enjoyed drag racing and pushing the limits of speed that his cars afforded him. He was proud of the Mustang and Chevy Chevelle he had raced in his youth and the last sports car that he ever owned, the Corvette. Yet in 2012 when the grandmother passed away, and his cousins needed money for funeral expenses in Samoa, Setu sold his beloved Corvette in order to help them. That was Setu, a man who helped those around him without question and he returned to Samoa to be there for others when he was needed. Twice during those years with us he went back home to help; in 2009 when Tsunami had destroyed his hometown and on the second occasion for a family event.

Setu was a brilliant and intuitive man who could relate with any generation and different people. Our two year old grandson loved his cuddling and our teenage nephews could relate with his stories about nature and learn from practical tips about fixing things. Twice during casual chats he found out about problems with our gate and also our plumbing systems, and fixed them. He refused to take any money only until after a lot of insisting on our part. To say Setu was a giving man would be an understatement. On two occasions we saw him helping people on the streets: once an elderly person’s car had stalled and Setu fixed it. On the other occasion, Setu fixed the bicycle of a distraught teenager. Setu gave of himself to others. When he re-landscaped our front yard as his very last project, he planted one Fig and one Maple tree as his gift to us. It still grows tall and even more vibrant today. 

In July of 2015 he said his final goodbye to us because he was returning to Samoa to attend to family matters. We were very sad to lose someone who had become a friend, but also glad for him as he would be closer to the family he so often spoke about from his youth. It was fitting of Setu, the kind and gentle man who could speak volumes in his silence, and always gave of himself to others.

Reflection: A Kind Man and A Gentle Giant

Our chats with Setu were the catalyst for my decision to retire early and the main reason for our 23 days trip to Polynesia in 2018. We had hoped to reconnect with Setu in the home of his youth and to see him in one of the places he had held so dear.

While in Samoa/s we had an all-out search bulletin for him; inquiring with our hotel staff, tour guides, and locals to find him. After a few days, one of the tour guides joked, “a Quarter of Samoa has the surname “Eliapos,” so it will take much longer.”☺ We realized that it was quite a feat to try and locate one of the most quiet and humble men in American Samoa. Setu had always held onto his privacy and liked to be more behind the scenes than in front. It’s why we didn’t have any contact info for him when he left- he was like the natural, living world he loved- always changing, ending until they are gone, only to somehow begin again anew. We left Samoa as we had come, with only memories of Setu.

Recently, we found his eldest daughter through Facebook and learnt a lot more about his incredible life story. In late 2015, he had already returned to California when he became a grandfather. He dearly loved his grandson and took care of him. We told her of our stories with Setu and how we tried to find him in Samoa. She revealed to us that he was from the far end of the east side of American Samoa, the only part we had missed during our trip. Such is an irony of fate.

Last month, we were saddened to hear of his passing on October 18th, 2020 but wanted to honor him through the facts of his life and the stories* he leaves behind.

Setu was born in Masefau, American Samoa. He had 11 brothers and sisters. He came to the USA in his early teens. A few years later, he left school and began career in interstate truck driving business which continued for almost three decades until he went into the landscaping business.

His father had started a church in San Jose California and he used to go there every weekend. That’s where he met Ane, a 21-year-old Samoan, who had come to the USA after graduating from Fulton College in Suva, Fiji. They got married when she was 24 and he was 25. In 1987 the family had planned to move to Port Orchard in Washington. On the way they got news that his mom passed away and his extended family needed him. So he returned and stayed in San Jose. His giving and dedication to family knew no bounds.

On big festivals holidays like Thanksgiving, he would cook for the large extended family. After dinner when everybody’s out in the garden sitting and chatting, noticing his daughters inside the kitchen washing dishes, he would immediately run and start helping with dishes, mopping the floor and packing the garbage. On Fridays, he would do laundry, clean floors and do a lot of housework to help out as it was a day before they got ready for Sabbath on Saturday. Setu was a very religious man and deeply involved in rebuilding the church. He was well respected, had a position of reverence in the church and often asked to speak in church services.

Setu and Ane had a very good marriage. He always wanted her to be happy. He had planned a vacation with his wife; a train trip to Washington since she had never been on a train before. Then in February he was going to take the entire family to Australia since they had never been overseas together as a family. A few months before the trip, they received the news that his wife was diagnosed with cancer. That was the first time his daughters saw him crying. He took extremely good care of her; he would brush her hair and feed her. Even two days before he passed away, Setu was still cooking food, mopping floors and taking care of his wife. Sadly, he passed away on October 18^th, 10 days before their 36th anniversary.

Even during these times, friends and relatives from all over the USA showed up to say final goodbye to Setu and loved ones from overseas attended services through internet. The memories they shared of Setu tells that his life was truly an example of the service to others with unconditional love. We are blessed that we met such a kind and humble man, and we will forever remember the way he impacted our lives.

Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime,
And departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.

- Longfellow, A Psalm of Life

 

Video: Incredible Journey from Samoa to San Jose.

*Special thanks to Setu’s daughters Marlene Lesui and Maylynn Fuamatala Eliapo for providing information about his family life and Setu’s photos in above video. Photos of Samoa are from our trip in 2018 inspired by Setu.

And love to my family: Luisa, Rajiv and Analisa for their help in recounting memories and preparation of this reflection.