Friday Reflections

You Can Win It in the Late Innings If You Don’t Quit - Robert Forster

 

Points to Ponder: I don’t care what kind of story you tell yourself, if you know what is truth but do not let that motivate you, you get what you deserve. - Robert Forster

Story Line: Every Life Tells a Story and Every Story has some lessons.

Robert Forster made his Hollywood debut in 1967 movie Reflections in a Golden Eye with two of the greatest; Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor. His performance received praise and what followed was The Stalking Moon with Gregory Peck, and then in 1969, another legendary film Medium Cool. First Five years in Hollywood were thunderous success. But soon after his career hit strong head winds and the age of 30 he was struggling to find movie roles.

"If you deliver excellence right now, that gives you the best shot at the best future you've got coming."- Robert Forster

The next 27 years were an intense struggle. He had to support his four children. In addition to occasional movie roles, he took jobs as a dishwasher, a waiter and railroad worker. In an interview for AARP magazine last October he said: Any job can be raised to the level of an art form, I don’t care what it is. I used to hate washing dishes. I got so good at it now I tell hostesses, ‘Listen, I’ll wash stemware for you, I never break them.’ I used to hate changing babies, and then I had four. I taught them self-respect and satisfaction. If you’re looking for the good life, these are huge components. And you can get them every day by offering your best effort to whatever it is you’re doing. It’s simple."

Who knows at which precise moment your fortune can change?  For those 27 years, every morning Robert used to go to a coffee shop right across from where he lived. One day Quentin Tarantino, Director and Screenplay writer of highly acclaimed film Pulp Fiction walked into the restaurant. Quentin was a fan of Robert since he was a kid. They chatted for a while and the next time Quentin walked in, he offered him a role in his upcoming movie Jackie Brown. Robert was thrilled and for the role of Max Cherry, he received Oscar nomination. That reignited his career. Since then Robert has been in 70 movies and 37 TV shows; and 46 major roles since turning 70. “You put in enough years and every once in a while something terrific comes along,” said Foster in AARP interview “You’ve got to keep sluggin’ until that happens.”

 Everything teaches you something. The job of real life is the job of caring for others. Everything you do in life is superfluous compared to that" - Robert Forster

About 25 years ago Robert started a program called 'Interacting' to share the lessons he had learnt from hard times. Initially it was for actors but through the years the scope expanded to people from all walks of life. Until his last days, he continued to encourage, motivate and help people for free by telling the stories from his life. As he used to say” The Truth is Free. It is BS that costs a lot of money.”

Robert gave his best for any role he played. However, one line from him will stay with me forever: First time I ever played a bad guy. I didn’t want to do it. I got stuck in bad guys for 13 years after that.

Forster once said that when his career was at its lowest ebb, he had what he called an "epiphany." "It was the simple one," he said, "when you realize, 'You know what? You're not dead yet, Bob. You can win it in the late innings. You've still got the late innings, but you can't quit. Never quit.'"

Reflection: Robert left this earth last Friday (October 11), the same day his latest ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ was released. Robert was a genuinely kind, humble, caring soul. Through his many roles in movies and in life, he helped, mentored and inspired many people. He will always live in the hearts he left behind.

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived-This is to have succeeded.”

 

Special Thanks to Brian Landberg for sending Best Story Ever video.

It's a Wonderful Life*

To all our wonderful readers: Wish you a very Merry Christmas and/or very enjoyable Holidays. 

*Originally published on December 23rd, 2010 (http://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2010/12/its-a-wonderful-life.html)

POINT TO PONDER 

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without also helping himself.”  

                                            - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

STORY LINE by Rajiv Shah 

My mind keeps returning to the film, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The film’s message has stayed with me as it has with so many viewers. The message I took away was this: the truth of one’s own life isn’t in the taking, in the acquisition of more and more things, but of the giving of oneself to others. And that giving will impact those around you.

The central character, George Bailey, is not acting like his usual self in the beginning of the film. The townspeople pray to God for George. God responds by sending an angel to show Bailey the positive impact his life has made on his community. 

Without going into a full-blown synopsis of the movie, I want to pose a few thoughts: Firstly, Bailey had always wanted to travel the world, and to leave the town that he was so integral to. Secondly, Bailey regretted the things he didn’t do but never saw the positive influence he had in those around him. Why is it that the “what ifs” seem to occupy us more than the “what is?” 

Finally, the angel showed George the purpose of his life and the good that was in his life all along. 

 

REFLECTION 

The secret Bailey discovered was that you get what you give. If he had never given of himself to the community, the community would have suffered and George would have never affected the lives of so many people. The material things Bailey didn’t acquire were replaced by the wishes, love, and thoughts of those he impacted in Bedford Falls. As Bailey says at the end of the film, “No man can be poor as long as he has friends.” 

Robin Williams (07/21/1951 - 08/11/2014)

POINT TO PONDER

"Risking is just for me, it's always been kind of the thing like, just trying different things. That's what the drill is... But why do I risk it? Cause the gains are pretty great when you do take a chance and you find something new - when you do find a new area..." 

                                       - Robin Williams

 

STORY LINE

Robin Williams was one of our favorite comedian/actors here at Friday Reflections. We were sad to hear of his passing this week and the tragic circumstances that surrounded it. He brought joy to so many and even in his passing, his genius and hilarity live on. 

As Robin was a long time resident of the San Francisco Bay Area, we wanted to share an outtake of his observations of the valley that many of us call home. We hope it leaves you with a smile, as it did with us, and we can remember the staggering talent Robin Williams shared with us all.  

 

R.I.P. Robin McLaurin Williams. We will miss you. 

We All Need An Alfred

POINT TO PONDER

I have a mentor. I have... guides. I have a lot of guides. Not a lot, but people whose opinions I really respect and who I will turn to.

                                        -Jake Gyllenhaal

 

STORY LINE by Rajiv Shah

Last week we wrote about good bosses. Of the many comments (for which we thank you) two jumped out at me. The first one from SC (thank you, whoever you are!) sparked the idea to write about mentors:

 

SC said:

One really has to be lucky to find such mentors. Thanks for sharing!

 

The second was a little more probing:

 

Curious said:

Is this real? I have heard such stories from "old timers." 

 

Both comments were interesting to me as it became apparent that many of us are in need of some mentorship. And good mentorship at that. But where does one find a good mentor?

Curious echoed my thought when he asked, "Where have such people gone?" 

My answer to Curious is that you can find a phenominal mentor in Gotham City. You see, I went on the hunt this week to find a good mentor and I found one in Alfred Pennyworth. Who is Alfred Pennyworth you ask? Just ask Alfred's mentee, Bruce Wayne, or as he's more commonly known - BATMAN. 

Now Curious, I get that Alfred is an old-timer (the character must at least be in his eighties now), may be a product of a bygone era/value system, and is indeed not in fact, "real." However, the core principles for which Alfred stands are a shining example of what makes a great mentor. 

1. Alfred is experienced. And with that experiences comes knowledge. Knowledge is what makes a good mentor valuable because they can inevitably pass that knowledge on to YOU. And this knowledge might be information you had no idea existed in the first place. Just ask Master Bruce. *Spoiler alert - Clips are from the Batman movies in the Christopher Nolan series and reveal important moments from Nolan's three Batman films* 
2. Alfred challenges Bruce to be better. So should your mentor. Does your mentor have the guts to tell you the truth? To challenge you to be better than you are? Look for someone that you feel comfortable getting a little tough love from because when you start to veer off your path, you need a good mentor to right the ship.  
3. And why does Alfred challenge Master Bruce? Because he knows there is something better for Bruce out there. Your mentor should have foresight. To see pitfalls. Possibilities. Your mentor, like Alfred, should direct you on a path that will lead you to something better that you might not have seen yourself.  
4. Alfred stands by Bruce through thick and thin. When the proverbial poop hits the fan (and at some point it always does), your mentor should be the type of person to be there to help pick you back up. 
5. Why does a mentor, and why does Alfred, do all this? Because damn it, HE CARES. If your mentor cares for your well-being, hell if ANYONE cares for your well-being in this day and age, consider yourself BLESSED. Because if that person truly cares you know that their knowledge, advice, and challenges will be coming from the right place. 
6. Bruce gives back. In any mentor/mentee relationship there needs to be a give and take. Bruce gives Alfred a pretty sweet house to live in, some pretty fine creature comforts, and studly protection. You in turn may not be able to give your mentor a mansion but your point of view, knowledge, and appreciation will go a long way in fostering the relationship. Because like any relationship it's a two way street and your mentor might get some satisfaction in knowing that you are better off because of them. So let them know that they are appreciated (even if that comes as a simple nod in thanks). 

 

Until You Start Believing In Yourself

POINT TO PONDER

"We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves."

                                                                                                   - Malcom X

STORY LINE

  

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

It's easy to point the finger. To blame. To make excuses. When it's always someone or something else's fault, then we no longer have to take responsibility for our actions. When we make deflect responsibility or bemoan the world around us - we no longer have to look at ourselves. 

I watch this video whenever I feel things don't go my way. When I want to point the finger and make excuses. Then I realize that the world will always put obstacles and hardships in our path. When we focus on the problems instead of doing everything possible to find a solution, what we are communicating is that deep down we believe that we aren't capable of surmounting those challenges. And that has everything to do with the value we place in ourselves. 

As Rocky tells his son, "Now if you know what your worth, then go out and get what your worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers - sayin' you ain't where you wanna be because of him, her, or anybody." 

"You see, I have this never-ending dream"

POINT TO PONDER 

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

                                                             - Oscar Wilde

 

STORY LINE

Ang Lee, in 2006 (post-Oscar win)*. 

"In 1978, as I applied for film studies at the University of Illinois, my father expressed his disapproval. He quoted me a statistic: 'Every year, 50,000 performers compete for 200 available roles on Broadway.' Still, I went against his advice and boarded a flight to the U.S. Since then, my father and I have had a strained relationship. In the last 20 years, we have spoken less than a hundred words to one another.

Some years later, when I graduated film school, I finally understood my father's concern. It was nearly unheard of for a Taiwanese newcomer to make it in the American film industry. Beginning in 1983, I struggled through six years of agonizing, hopeless uncertainty. Much of the time, I was helping film crews with their equipment or working as editor's assistant, among other miscellaneous duties. My most painful experience involved shopping a screenplay at more than thirty different production companies, and being met with harsh rejection each time.

That year, I turned 30. There's an old Chinese saying: 'At 30, one stands firm.' Yet, I couldn't even support myself. What could I do? Keep waiting, or give up my movie-making dream? My wife gave me invaluable support.

My wife was my college classmate. She was a biology major, and after graduation, went to work for a small pharmaceutical research lab. Her income was very small. At the time, we already had our oldest son, Han Lee, to raise. To appease my feelings of guilt, I took on all housework - cooking, cleaning, taking care of our son - in addition to reading, reviewing films and writing scripts. Every evening after preparing dinner, I would sit on the front steps with my son, telling him stories as we waited for his mother - the heroic huntress - to come home with our sustenance (income).

This kind of life felt rather undignified for a man. At one point, my in-laws gave their daughter (my wife) a sum of money, intended as startup capital for me to open a Chinese restaurant - hoping that a business would help support my family. But my wife refused the money. When I found out about this exchange, I stayed up several nights and decided: This dream of mine is not meant to be. I had to face reality.

Afterward (and with a heavy heart), I enrolled in a computer course at a nearby community college. At a time when employment trumped all other considerations, it seemed that only knowledge of computers could quickly make me employable. For the days that followed, I descended into malaise. My wife, noticing my unusual demeanor, discovered my schedule of classes. That night, she didn't say anything.

The next morning, right before she got in her car to head off to work, my wife turned back and - standing there on our front steps - said, 'Ang, don't forget your dream.'

And that dream of mine - drowned by the demands of reality - came back to life. As my wife drove off, I took the class schedule out of my bag and slowly, deliberately tore it to pieces. And tossed it in the trash.

Sometime after, I obtained funding for my screenplay, and started to shoot my own films. And after that, a few of my films started to win international awards. Recalling earlier times, my wife confessed, 'I've always believed that you only need one gift. Your gift is making films. There are so many people studying computers already, they don't need an Ang Lee to do that. If you want that golden statue, you have to commit to the dream.'

And today, I've finally won that golden statue. I think my own perseverance and my wife's immeasurable sacrifice have finally met their reward. And it's made me more assured: I must continue making films.

You see, I have this never-ending dream."

*Thank you to Irene Shih and the blog What Shih Said for this translation.*

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

Congratulations to Ang Lee on his second Oscar win for Life of Pi at this year's Oscars.

We often get to see the dream fulfilled, the results, and the recognition. In this case it's even more inspirational to see how much doubt, heartache, and hardship it took to get there.

Keep reaching. 

To Fly

POINT TO PONDER

Follow your bliss.

                 - Joseph Campbell

 

STORY LINE by Rajiv Shah

To mark the anniversary of Friday Reflections we want to revisit one of our favorite stories, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. On first glance, Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story about marching to the beat of your own drum, following dreams, pursuing your passion in the face of adversity and forgiving others when they condemn you for doing so. It incorporates all these elements, but I realized upon my viewing of the entire film (which can be viewed on youtube here: http://youtu.be/I6aBl7tAJCo) that JLS follows the classic Hero's Journey myth structure. 

    The Hero's Journey was popularized by Joseph Cambell who was a writer and mythologist. Campbell found that many classic stories follow a pattern (including Jonathan Livingston Seagull) and an extremely abridged explanation is outlined here that we can apply to our own lives:

1. The Call to Adventure - This is where the main character is at a point in their life where they are at the brink of change. Either the character can be seeking the change or the call to adventure comes from an unexpected source (death of a loved one, fired from a job, life is in danger, etc). In JLS this step is represented in Jonathan's need to fly faster and higher than any seagull before. In your own life is there something that you seek? A higher sense of fulfillment whether personal or professional, a yearning to explore, or a need to challenge? Whatever that thing is, that is your calling. 
2. Refusal of the Call - The main character avoids the call due to doubt, familial obligations, expectations (societal, personal, or familial), or fear of the unknown. In JLS (around the 20 minute mark) Jonathan has flown higher than he ever has before but crash lands into the ocean. Injured and alone he floats on a wooden crate - for the first time doubting his calling, his belief in himself. He thinks, "I've got to live with what I am. I promise this day that I will be a seagull like every other seagull." Sound familiar? I don't think I need to illustrate how this applies to our own lives as many of us get stuck in this phase of the hero's journey, doubting our passion and ability. 
3. Crossing of the Threshold/Road of Trials - The point where the main character reenters their journey is sometimes with encouragement from another and sometimes from an internal calling growing stronger within them. At this point there is no turning back, the main character ventures further into the unknown, past fear and doubt. The character will undergo a transformation from the experience (usually tough) and emerge with a new understanding and/or a new self. In JLS as is true in other works, this is can be the point of death though it is not always the case. In our own lives, and since you are reading this - you are not dead yet (at least I hope not...) - it can be a metamorphosis from your old way of thinking/self usually into a new one. 
4. Apotheosis/The Ultimate Boon - The achievement of the goal. Moving to divine knowledge, transendence and attainment of the calling. In JLS this is the point when Jonathan has learned to fly highest, fastest, and is even able to transend his physical body. For us, well... I wouldn't know what this looks like and it would be foolish for me to try to teach anyone this as I'm searching myself. But I think it's in the search for this that we find peace and bliss, however brief or lasting. Some may find this in family, some in career achievements, and some might find it in jumping from one thing/place to the next. But when we find it I hope we take the next step:
5. Master of Two Worlds/Freedom to Live - With this new knowledge, bliss, and transendance the main character returns to his place of origin in order to share those experiences with others and the world at large. This is so that others might find their own path and their own peace. In JLS this is done when Jonathan returns to the flock seeking to teach them that they can fly as high and fast as they dream. For us, it is the need to teach, to pass on what we've experienced in order to help another on their path. Paying it forward. 

 

REFLECTION

The Hero's Journey is one that all of us have within us. It reflects the nature of our search for meaning. We all find it in different places but the calling is always there. Sometimes the fears and doubts get so loud that we don't take the journey and find what we are truly capable of. It's easy to given in and stop searching, deciding that what we seek can't exist.  

    This need, the quest for meaning, is not only reflected in stories like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but is ingrained in spiritual texts such as the Bible and the story of the Buddha. It permeates most TV shows and movies, from Lost to Batman. It can even be found in the cycle of birth. It is a mythology that is interwoven into the very fabric of our existence - in the little place inside of each and everyone of us that dares to answer the call and seek our greatest potential. 

 

Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

Between Rage and Serenity

POINT TO PONDER

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.

                                        - Louis L'Amour

 

STORY LINE by Rajiv Shah

I want to talk about a scene from X-Men First Class that I feel has a profound message. Yes, it is a comic book superhero movie and I recognize that, but try to keep an open mind.

The scene is between a young doctor Xavier and a young Magneto as they stand on a veranda in front of an open field and a satellite dish in the distance. Xavier is dealing with Magneto's painful past - his mother was killed by Nazi's when he was a boy and was forced to watch her murder. This traumatic event fuels him, often consuming him with anger, guilt, and regret. Xavier cautions Magneto that rage alone will consume him but through serenity and peace he will find true power. 

To demonstrate, Xavier asks Magneto to focus on a satellite dish in the distance. He asks Magneto to focus his energy on it, to move it with his mind, his emotions. Magneto tenses, rage gripping him, but he cannot force the satellite to move. 

Next, Xavier tells him to try moving it again. This time recalling a loving memory of Magneto's mother and with him when he was a boy. It is a memory of happiness. love, and it overwhelms the rage and pain that he feels. In the distance, the satellite moves dramatically. 

Xavier looks at Magneto and says, "that is the point between rage and serenity." 

 

REFLECTION

I have been a fan for a long time of a kinesioly book by Dr. David Hawkins titled, Power vs. Force. Dr. Hawkins is responsible for the study of human consciousness and how it affects the spirit and body. Specifically, how what we experience emotionally in the body affects the mind and our physical being.

The scene outlined from X-Men mirrors Dr' Hawkins revolutionary work - a simple test to demonstrate the power of kinesiology and human consciousness. This test was done under strict conditions by Mr. Hawkins but can be done with anyone. It's a simple test. You turn off any surrounding distrations - cell phones, radios, etc. - and you have the subject stand with their feet shoulder width apart, their arms straight out to the sides, in line with the shoulder and palms down. 

Next, you explain to the subject that you will push their arms down (while facing the subject, not behind them) with your hands and they should resist your force. Ask them to close their eyes and think of a memory that was the saddest point in their life, something that caused them pain. You then push down on their arms while they are thinking of this memory and while the subject resists. Notice the results. 

Then you take a moment, have the subject clear that memory from their mind and to resume the starting position. You ask them to now think of the most loving memory they have, something that caused them great joy and happiness. Again, while they are in this state, you push down on their arms and again, they resist. What did you discover in the same person under the different conditions?

What was found by Dr. Hawkins in an overwhelming number of subjects is that people are strongest when they are thinking of the loving memories. The body responds more powerfully and energetically to the force applied on them. The study suggests that our power comes from the specific emotions permeating our body at that time. Dr. Hawkins uses a scale to give a numerical value to each emotion from 20 to 600 (a score of 0-20 represents death), shame and fear on the lower end (20-30) with peace and enlightenment ranking on the highest end (600-1000). 

How can this knowledge be used? We can use it to assess the feelings we are having and where on the scale those emotions reside. Just that simple awareness often allows one to change the things in their life that are causing a negative emotion and allow us to seek higher states of joy, happiness and fulfillement. 

Just Give Me the Facts!

POINT TO PONDER

There are no facts, only interpretations.

                    ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

facts - something that actually exists; reality; truth 

interpretations - to give or provide the meaning of; explain; explicate; elucidate

    Can a fact ever be divorced from the interpretation of that fact? Or does the truth always lie somewhere in between, where each person's truth is different from the other? Perhaps, it is not the truth that matters but how we use it to get what we individually need? 

 

STORY LINE

Have you ever seen Rashomon? If not, check it out (click the photo above for a link to the complete film), not only because it's one Akira Kurasowa's great films but because the film seems to attempt to answer this very question posed by Friedrich Nietzsche. Warning: the following reflection contains spoilers for the film. 

    The film centers around the rape of a wife and the subsequent murder of her husband. The film recounts what happened from four different points of view: the bandit that supposedly raped the wife, the wife herself, the now deceased husband (told through a medium), and a woodcutter who witnessed the rape and kept the dagger that was used to murder the husband.  

    The film takes us into the court hearing of the murder to determine what really happened. The facts at that point were that all the said people were involved in some way, a man was dead, and a dagger had been used to kill him.

    According to the badit, he seduced the woman after tying her husband to a tree. Filled with shame, the wife pleaded that he fight her husband in a duel so as not to dishonor her. After fighting valiantly, he claims to have emerged the victor and the wife ran away. When asked about the dagger, he claims he forgot all about it and made a mistake leaving such a valuable piece at the scene. 

    The wife's story claims that she was not seduced but raped. After which the bandit left her in shame with her husband. Her husband, full of loathing and contempt refused to look or acknowledge her. She took the dagger and begged her husband to kill her to save her from shame. She claims to have passed out from shock and awoke to find the dagger in the body of her dead husband. 

    Through a medium the husband's story is told. According to this version the husband claims that his wife was raped and agreed to escape with the bandit on his journey only if he would agree to kill her husband before they left. The bandit, horrified, asked the husband whether he should kill his cold hearted wife or let her go. She runs away and the husband kills himself. 

    The woodcutter's story is the only one coming from a person not directly involved in the events. The woodcutter did see the rape and the murder. But how things transpired were not exactly as anyone had said. According to his account, the bandit did rape the wife. After begging her to leave her husband and marry him, the wife freed her husband who was too ashamed to defend her honor. The wife chastised both claiming they were not real men and that real men would fight for her. Pushed to fight, the men fought not valiantly - as the bandit had claimed - but pitifully with the bandit finally knocking the husband to the ground after a lucky blow. The husband begged for his life as his wife fled. Roiled with conflict, the bandit finally killed the husband. This version isn't without doubt either as the woodcutter is then accused of tailoring his story to hide the fact that he was indeed the one that had stolen the dagger and didn't want to get caught. 

*Watch the complete film above if you're curious to the outcome of the film*