Friday Reflections

"You see, I have this never-ending dream"

POINT TO PONDER 

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

                                                             - Oscar Wilde

 

STORY LINE

Ang Lee, in 2006 (post-Oscar win)*. 

"In 1978, as I applied for film studies at the University of Illinois, my father expressed his disapproval. He quoted me a statistic: 'Every year, 50,000 performers compete for 200 available roles on Broadway.' Still, I went against his advice and boarded a flight to the U.S. Since then, my father and I have had a strained relationship. In the last 20 years, we have spoken less than a hundred words to one another.

Some years later, when I graduated film school, I finally understood my father's concern. It was nearly unheard of for a Taiwanese newcomer to make it in the American film industry. Beginning in 1983, I struggled through six years of agonizing, hopeless uncertainty. Much of the time, I was helping film crews with their equipment or working as editor's assistant, among other miscellaneous duties. My most painful experience involved shopping a screenplay at more than thirty different production companies, and being met with harsh rejection each time.

That year, I turned 30. There's an old Chinese saying: 'At 30, one stands firm.' Yet, I couldn't even support myself. What could I do? Keep waiting, or give up my movie-making dream? My wife gave me invaluable support.

My wife was my college classmate. She was a biology major, and after graduation, went to work for a small pharmaceutical research lab. Her income was very small. At the time, we already had our oldest son, Han Lee, to raise. To appease my feelings of guilt, I took on all housework - cooking, cleaning, taking care of our son - in addition to reading, reviewing films and writing scripts. Every evening after preparing dinner, I would sit on the front steps with my son, telling him stories as we waited for his mother - the heroic huntress - to come home with our sustenance (income).

This kind of life felt rather undignified for a man. At one point, my in-laws gave their daughter (my wife) a sum of money, intended as startup capital for me to open a Chinese restaurant - hoping that a business would help support my family. But my wife refused the money. When I found out about this exchange, I stayed up several nights and decided: This dream of mine is not meant to be. I had to face reality.

Afterward (and with a heavy heart), I enrolled in a computer course at a nearby community college. At a time when employment trumped all other considerations, it seemed that only knowledge of computers could quickly make me employable. For the days that followed, I descended into malaise. My wife, noticing my unusual demeanor, discovered my schedule of classes. That night, she didn't say anything.

The next morning, right before she got in her car to head off to work, my wife turned back and - standing there on our front steps - said, 'Ang, don't forget your dream.'

And that dream of mine - drowned by the demands of reality - came back to life. As my wife drove off, I took the class schedule out of my bag and slowly, deliberately tore it to pieces. And tossed it in the trash.

Sometime after, I obtained funding for my screenplay, and started to shoot my own films. And after that, a few of my films started to win international awards. Recalling earlier times, my wife confessed, 'I've always believed that you only need one gift. Your gift is making films. There are so many people studying computers already, they don't need an Ang Lee to do that. If you want that golden statue, you have to commit to the dream.'

And today, I've finally won that golden statue. I think my own perseverance and my wife's immeasurable sacrifice have finally met their reward. And it's made me more assured: I must continue making films.

You see, I have this never-ending dream."

*Thank you to Irene Shih and the blog What Shih Said for this translation.*

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

Congratulations to Ang Lee on his second Oscar win for Life of Pi at this year's Oscars.

We often get to see the dream fulfilled, the results, and the recognition. In this case it's even more inspirational to see how much doubt, heartache, and hardship it took to get there.

Keep reaching. 

The Not So End of the World

POINT TO PONDER

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

                                        - Richard Bach

 

REFLECTION

It seems the New Year came early. There was so much hoopla surrounding the end of the world - prophecies, predicitions, and marketing - that it is almost anti-climactic that December 21st is upon us and there seems to be no end looming. 

Perhaps this is a good time to just be grateful for what we do have, the loved ones around us, and the times that are ahead.

We at Friday Reflections are thankful we get to communicate with all of you on a weekly basis and hope you all have a wonderful holidays. So instead of the end, let's see the coming year as a new beginning, and try to imagine the wonderful events ahead. What are you looking forward to?

When Understanding Comes From Ignorance

POINT TO PONDER

I guess when your heart gets broken you sort of start to see cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us and our mission is never to let it.

 

*The following story line was edited from a FR written in 2010 titled "Through the Looking Glass." That reflection is relevant today following the shooting at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin earlier this week.* 

STORYLINE - by Rajiv Shah

On September 11th, 2001, Balbir Singh Sodhi was glued to his T.V. as two American Airliners collided with the World Trade Center. He watched the twin towers fall, an uneasiness coming over him, as the flaming wreckage replayed over and over on his screen. Balbir Singh Sodhi had recently moved to his Mesa, Arizona community and was the new owner of a Chevron Gas Station in town. Sodhi had initially moved to Los Angeles, CA in 1989 when he immigrated to the US from his native India, eventually working for over ten years as a cab driver in Los Angeles and San Francisco. When Sodhi saved enough money, he relocated his wife and three sons to Mesa to open the gas station which he now owned.

The station was an enormous source of pride for Sodhi and he was known to treat the customers with generosity and care. Children claimed that he often let them have candy from his store though they didn't have enough money pay for it. Sodhi was a Sikh, a deeply spiritual man, described as a quiet and gentle. He would often spend time outside his gas station, planting and tending to his flowers outside.

But on September 11th as he watched his TV, Sodhi knew he stood out – his long black beard, a turban pinned to his head, and dark brown skin that were all manifestations of his Punjabi roots. So on September 15th, he did what many distraught Indians, Middle Easterns, and Muslim Americans did: he went to the store and purchased an American flag to display outside his gas station. A symbol that he was not the enemy but an American like his neighbors. On his way out of the store he donated seventy-five dollars to the September 11th victims fund.

A few hours later Sodhi was back outside his gas station doing what he had come to enjoy – planting flowers. As he stooped over to put another flower into the earth, the silence was shattered by a loud pop. Then the first was followed by four more gunshots. As Sodhi's shirt began to soak in a pool of crimson, he crumbled to ground, tires screeching as his assailant sped away in a pick-up truck. Balbir Singh Sodhi was killed instantly, his life cut short at the age of fifty-two.

His assailant was captured, a man named Frank Roque, a Boeing aircraft mechanic who would exclaim after the murder, “I'm a patriot... I stand for America all the way!” After his arrest, Roque told the police that he was, “standing up for his brothers and sisters in New York,” by delivering on the promise that he was, “going to go out and shoot some towel-heads.”

At Balbir Singh Sodhi's memorial service, three thousand people attended. Ten-thousand letters were sent in support and in condolence. The loss, pain, and rage as was addressed by Sodhi's nephew, Daman, “he was killed because of the way he looked. It's so stupid.” Sodhi's own son, Sukhwinder, talked about his father's murder, “what are you going to do with anger? We like peace and we are a peaceful people.” The service chose to reflect on peace rather than condemnation and focused on finding a way to “keep American's hearts open to one another,” as expressed by Sikh minister, Guru Roop Kaur Khalsa. 

 

REFLECTION

Its been two years since I originally wrote this story line. I couldn't have imagined the number of shootings, murders, that would occur in the two years since - the public shooting of Gloria Giffords in Arizona, the recent tragedy in Colorado, the Oikos University shooting in Oakland, and now the Sikh temple shooting in Wisconsin. 

My question is when does it end? It's too easy to pick up a gun and shoot innocent, unarmed people that don't see it coming. It's cowardly. It's entrenched in misunderstanding, ignorance, and hatred. It's easy to hate and life can be taken irresponsibly in an instant. What is far harder is tolerance. Understanding. Love. It takes an acceptance of differences in order to love and that is far more difficult.

Many of the Sikhs interviewed in Wisconsin surprised me. They expressed sympathy for the shooter and forgiveness. They accepted that he was a misguided and deeply troubled man. It seemed to echo what was said by the family of Balbir Singh Sodhi over ten years ago. Sodhi's own son, Sukhwinder, talked about his father's murder, “what are you going to do with anger? We like peace and we are a peaceful people.” But now, I keep wondering what one does with anger. What would happen if the victims families decided to take up arms and shoot back in retaliation, if they allowed themselves a violent outlet for their pain? 

Amardeep Singh Kaleka, the son of Satwant Singh Kaleka (declared a hero by the FBI for stopping the assailant in the recent Wisconsin attack), spoke to Anderson Cooper about the his father's murder. His words were not as resigned as Sodhi's son, “I hope American society lets go of its criminal violence and violence in America. And its hatred and this amazingly repugnant descent as a human civilization into this archaic world. I hope that we can traverse and come up, and become more civilized.”

The shooter performed an abominable act but what motivated him to kill was a basic human behavior of which we've all been guilty – the judgment of another. And perhaps the passing of judgment is actually our own anger and dissatisfaction with ourselves? One only hopes that the cycle ends is in each of us. Of judgement. Of hatred. Of the belief that our way is the only way. It is within ourselves that we must turn our attention. 

The Greatest Love of All (A Tribute to Whitney Houston).

POINT TO PONDER

Learning to love yourself
                    It is the greatest love of all.

 

STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah & Analisa Shah

The death of Whitney Houston saddened me this past week. I grew up listening to her music during the 80's while sitting in my father's car with my sister and mother while her sterling vocals filled our friday night drives. My sister and I would listen to Whiteny's songs everyday during the week, rehearsing privately in our room, preparing to to take the stage in the backseat of our beat up, mustard yellow 1983 Volvo DL. Friday nights were our own personal showtime and we wanted to be ready. 

    Those Friday night drives, the laughter, and the stories we shared are what would become the inspiration for Friday Reflections. Whitney's songs were the soundtrack to those nights - as much an inspiration as carefree entertainment - and we sang along with her, struggling to hit her high notes. 

    This isn't so much a storyline as it is a simple remembrance to an entertainer who had touched a life, many lives, though she struggled deeply with her own. Her battles with addiction were public, her meltdowns with Bobby Brown tabloid fodder, and the once pitch perfect voice now gone...

    But when a life ends we are left with memories. Long after flesh and bone recede back into the earth, we survive on with nothing more than the rememberance of how two lives can run parallel for a moment, however brief and seemingly unconnected. I never knew Whitney Houston but she touched my life and that of my family with a gift only time and our own death can take away - she gave us memories. 

    My fondest - I see myself, I'm nine years old at a party thrown by one of my parents' friends and I'm standing in the front of a strange living room with my sister, who's six and can't stop picking at her red polka dotted dress. Her eyes dart down and around, not sure what to look at because all my parents' friends eyes on us, waiting. A worn down tape with the lettering missing, the ink on its face scrubbed away from repeated flips in a tape recorder, is turning. They are waiting for this brother and sister to perform the duet my father has been telling them about, bragging about, and I get nervous. My sister finally looks to me and she grasps my hand. "The Greatest Love of All" begins, its slow electronic melody filling the room...

    And we inhale just like we do every Friday night on our family rides. The fear starts to melt away...

    We know this, we've done it so many times before. I smile at my sister. She nods. Our courage returns, we open our mouths, and we sing. We sing with everything we have - notes imperfect, our little bodies struggling, trying to catch a breath - just a brother sister duo without much singing ability but a whole lot of heart.

    Yes, it was cheesy. Yes, my parents loved it. And yes, I remember it as one of the best memories from my childhood.

    You didn't know us Whitney Houston but we knew you. Oh how we knew you... And we thank you.

 

REFLECTION     

                 I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
                 If I fail, if I succeed
                 At least I'll live as I believe
                 No matter what they take from me
                 They can't take away my dignity
                 Because the greatest love of all
                 Is happening to me
                 I found the greatest love of all
                 Inside of me
                 The greatest love of all
                 Is easy to achieve
                 Learning to love yourself
                 It is the greatest love of all.

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.

POINT TO PONDER

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.

                                                                     -Arthur Golden

STORYLINE

The New Year is upon us and in looking forward to 2012 we here at Friday Reflections wanted to get the year started right. In the spirit of following your own path, I've compiled some stories and random bits from people that did extraordinary things in 2011:

• At one hundred years old, Fauja Singh of Britain, became the oldest person to complete a full 26 mile marathon in Toronto, Canada.

• Rob Summers, a former collegiate baseball player who played on the winning team of the 2006 College World Series, was paralyzed from the chest down after being hit by a car in, coincidentally, 2006. After four years of not being able to move, doctors implanted 16 electrodes into his damaged spinal cord. He trained daily, putting in countless hours to rehabilitate and Rob now is able to stand, walk independently, and has regained control of his bladder, bowel, and blood pressure functions.

• After learning that coastal forests in North Carolina were being cut down to provide packaging for KFC and McDonalds, eight year old student Cole Rasenberger convinced everyone at his school - 2,250 in total - to write postcards to McDonalds encouraging the company to change their packaging choices. All 2,250 postcards were sent to McDonalds and a short time after receiving the postcards, McDonalds announced it was switching to 100 percent recycled paper bags. Cole's next target is KFC and he's already rallied 6,000 to write postcards and hand delivered them to the KFC headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky.

• Susanne Janson lost her two daughters (fourteen years and twelve years old) and her ex-husband to the Tsunami that ravaged the coasts of Thailand in 2004. Heartbroken and unable to return to work as an advertising executive, Janson instead decided to stay in Thailand. She had heard a young couple were opening an orphanage in Phuket to take in children who had lost their parents in the disaster. Janson decided to help and today the orphanage houses 24 children, mothers, and grandparents affected by the tsunami. This past June, Janson hit a milestone: Fame, a teenage boy living in the orphanage will be heading to college. A huge feat in the poverty striken area in which she now lives. Janson says, “"My daughters loved their life. And I wanted to show them that I would survive this. And if (I) could help my new children to love their lives, at least one good thing came out of this."

  
  

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

2011 has been a monumental year. Natural disaster would strike as we all know - Japan would be rocked by an 8.9 earthquake in March and subsequent tsunami while Turkey dealt with a 7.2 magnitude quake of their own in October.

    2011 saw the death of technological giant Steve Jobs.

    January found Egyptian President Mubarak step down from power, a harbinger of the upheavals that would follow in Libya and Syria. On a smaller scale citizens at home followed suit as Occupy protesters took to US streets to voice their displeasure with the current state of the US economy. Elsewhere in the world, similar protests were being staged as Greece's prime minister stepped down from power amidst the European economic crisis.

    2011 was a year where the world saw much tension, unrest, and ultimately, change. And one hopes that from this change will come growth, a new way to live and prosper.  Amidst it all, good was forged on large and small scales, by people like the ones in this friday reflection, people not so different than you and me. Each one faced adversity and found a way to persevere. Tension is essential, it is a place where we are forced to stretch, to challenge, to find a new way, and to blossom. For from a crack in the earth a flower finds a way to grow.

    I do hope the experiences retold in this friday reflection inspire you to create your own stories in 2012, to continue walking your path and blazing your own trails. 

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Reflection: All for one and one for all.

POINT TO PONDER

We hire workers, but those who arrive are human beings. (source: "And other strange ideas" in a page from "400 seconds presentation from John Simmons)

STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah

I have been absent from writing Friday Reflections and am welcoming this opportunity to return by writing about a play I was recently in, DAY OF ABSENCE. The play was a unique, fictional account of what would happen if a group of workers (primarily nannies, farmers, and laborers) disappeared from a fictional town in the United States. 

I believed this was a fictional account, and indeed when the play was performed (in 1965) it was, until I came across an article in USA Today detailing the mass exodus of immigrants from Alabama towns after courts passed harsh anti-immigrations laws allowing law enforcement to detain any immigrants suspected of being illegal in this country. Further, it requires schools to verify immigration status of their students. What has transpired is that a large portion of Alabama's labor force has simply vanished from the town all together. Farms have been left unharvested, grocery stores have found their business drop 60%, and schools found 2,300 students mising from their classrooms. Whole neighboorhoods have become ghost towns virtually overnight with furniture and belongings left in the now abandoned houses.  

The effects have been substantial and Alabama is trying to find solutions to their now suddenly vacant labor force. 

REFLECTION

We all affect one another, regardless of paycheck or role, and we depend on one another to function as a whole. Sometimes within our own companies it is difficult to fully grasp the impact an employee makes to the whole, positively or adversely. Alabama respresents a extraordinary circumstance but exemplifies that we often need each other more than we care to acknowledge. We see the position one fills more than we see the person and the actions we take always affect one another, even if they are not immediately visible, especially when we only see that person's position and not their humanity. 

Without Boundaries. Without Limits.

Point to Ponder:

“Some see things as they are and ask why I dream things that never were and ask why not.” 

                            - From Robert F. Kennedy speech (original source “Back to Methuselah” (1921) by George Bernard Shaw)

 

Story Line: 

 

Recently, whenever the news and talk about the current recession, and “the great depression,” picks up speed in media and coffee table conversations, an incident I witnessed from my childhood resurfaces before my eyes.

My father and I had gone to visit his friend (Senior). There was an argument going on between a young boy and my dad’s friend. The boy was talking about all kinds of “crazy and weird” ideas about what he would do when he grew up and the adult worried about “impractical ideas” emanating from the uncontrolled imagination of a young boy. Senior was trying his best to teach this kid lessons about “real life” and cautioning him about bad times and recessions that he had experienced. The kid seemed annoyed but boldly told Senior, “Why most of the time your conversations are dominated by talks of recessions, scarcity and cuts? How did this world grow so much even with all the bad times you talk about?”

Annoyed at the response, the senior turned to my father and said “ Pravin, tell this kid how is it to be in recession?”

My father replied “ I don’t need to tell him that. The boy is already witnessing ‘what it is to be like in a recession' with your talks and actions.”

 

Reflection: 

A few years ago when I was visiting my home town. I was not surprised when friends told me that the young man was a very successful entrepreneur and owned diversified businesses that have expanded internationally. I have often shared that childhood experience with my family and friends whenever the environment starts getting infected with negative news.

 

Today the limits of my curiosity stretched farther; I did Google search to find out more. What I found was the young boy's company name translated into English means, “without boundaries” and “without limits.”A quote on his web page says, "Excellence has neither any beginning nor any end. It is not a destination; rather it is a continuous passage....a perpetual voyage......towards infinity.”

 

iRemember

 

POINT TO PONDER

A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of the human experience, the better design we will have.

                                                                                  - Steve Jobs

 

STORYLINE (Jerry Brown, California's current governor declares October 16th as official Steve Jobs day) 

http://mashable.com/2011/10/16/steve-jobs-day-video/

 

REFLECTION

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

                                                – Think Different, narrated by Steve Jobs.

*In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy.

 

POINT TO PONDER

Our experiences define us but can also hold us to outdated beliefs and focusing on what can't work rather than what will. 

 

STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah

Slavomir Rawicz' “The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom” recounts Rawicz' incarceration by the Russian military in a Serbian POW  camp, and how he led six prisoners over 4,000 miles – through the unforgiving Serbian winter terrain, Gobi desert, Tibet, Himalayas, and India - to their freedom.

       During his early days in prison, Rawicz's first ally becomes  Khabarov, a man who has dreamed of escape ever since his incarceration, four years prior. He has studied the terrain, how to create a diversion, and what it will take to survive in the excruciating climate that surrounds the jail – nature proving to be the harshest prison of all.

       When a snow storm blows in and makes visibility low, Rawicz decides that it is the best time to escape. The blizzard will cloak their break from the prison and cover their tracks as they trek deep into the wilderness. They are set to go.

       Rawicz wakes his friend Khabarov and tells him it is time, that the conditions couldn't better for their escape. Khabarov balks. He goes through the scenario in his mind, as he has many times before, eventually counting all the ways their plan will fail, even though the opportunity of freedom is right in front of him.

       His years in prison, his dreams of escape, his research and experience come to a head in that pivotal moment, and Khabarov chooses not to go with his friend. He stays behind, fearful and convinced by his experiences that their plan will not work. He can't change and his experiences in the prison keep him from his freedom - a freedom that Rawicz and his six companions find.

REFLECTION

I came across the title for this reflection* while perusing the gift shop at the Getty Villa in Malibu. On a magnet was this little tidbit of wisdom from J. Paul Getty, and I've been thinking about it ever since.

       Around the world, we are on the brink of major change economically and socially. Change that has left our leaders in great upheaval and wondering the best course of action. Change that has forced us to reexamine how we choose to live.

       There are people that believe that the end is near. I believe that what is happening is not the end, but a new beginning, a shift in the way we live. Jobs are scarce, the US government has raised the debt ceiling, and we are being forced to change our daily habits. Does that mean we are close to the end?

          Not in my opinion. We are just having to learn a new way. Our experiences define us but can also hold us to outdated beliefs and focusing on what can't work rather than what will. Much like Rawicz and Khabarov in the story, our experiences can keep us from acknowledging the conditions currently in front of us. Often our experiences lead us to focus on the harsh realities rather than the possibilities for change and growth. Especially in today's climate, not taking any action and continuing to proceed in the same way is a prison unto itself.

 

*Title quoted from J. Paul Getty