Special Thanks to the reader Yi Fang for sending above poster.
Things that matter most should not be put at the mercy of things that matter least.
Let the children’s laughter remind us of how we used to be. Their happiness comes from being in the moment, only one that matters, they forget everything else. The Way We Were.
Family who plays and prays together stays together.
Note: Friday Reflection about Dumb Fred Episodes 2 and 3 that were planned for this month are postponed to Future dates.
Point to Ponder: Never ridicule anyone because they are different and/or do not fit “The System”. There are many pathways to real success in life.
During past fifteen years of Reflections, occasionally some readers have asked: Don’t you have any negative experiences from personal life and learnings from which you can share? Seems almost all of the stories so far have positive spin on them.
Ok, as we are approaching 15th anniversary on internet (August 5, 2005), for the two reflections starting next week, I will share a few such experiences that have been in backlog for several years. Though negative looking at times, fortunately the end results have turned out well. But before those stories, for this week, let me share one starter for the warmup.
Story Line: “Dumb Fred”
In 1988, my wife and I attended a seminar in San Jose. The speaker was entertaining and told us many stories to deliver key messages, one of those I have never forgotten.
In one school there was a kid named Fred who was not well versed with “current trends in social affairs” and not good in the regular school curriculum as well. He would say things that are not standard discussion subjects, bring stories from reading various magazines that others had not heard of and they would ridicule him for “making up stories”, and ask questions in classes that teachers didn’t expect and got annoyed. He had become laughing stock of the teachers and students. He was very poor in most subjects and getting passing marks seemed to be his biggest accomplishment. Bottom Line: Fred was not well versed in normal baseline expectations. They called him “Dumb Fred”.
One time in an open competition conducted by the state (not school curriculum), Fred came first in the entire state bringing glory to the school. However the principal and the teacher, who were expecting one of their favorite star student to come first couldn’t believe that, and instead of congratulating taunted, “Fred, Are you sure you didn’t cheat? Hard to believe.”
Many years later, there was a high school reunion. The people wearing fancy suites, dresses and holding wine glasses were chatting with one another about what they had achieved in terms of career, financial status, fancy cars, where they lived etc thus catching up on the lost time.
Suddenly a big very fancy limousine pulled up which drew everyone’s attention. The chauffeur got out and opened the door. A man in very modest clothes came out. First they couldn’t recognize the guy but after a few minutes one of them exclaimed “Hey, That’s Dumb Fred.”
They were wondering how Fred could have been in a chauffeur driven limousine, so a few of them started very diplomatic gentle probing.To their surprise they found out that Fred not only owned the fancy hotel that they were in but he also owned many businesses around the country. He also had charitable organizations to help people in different walks of life.
From their score cards, it was hard to believe that Fred had attained that kind of status and results. Now that they perceived Fred’s status much higher than theirs, one of them mustered up enough courage to ask (of course very gently and politely): “Fred how did you do all these?”
“Well”, Fred started “I couldn’t make it to college because as you all know, I had bad grades and couldn’t write a good essay either. So I took a job selling food in the market. I liked talking to customers and treated them well. One day one customer asked me to join his new restaurant business." The way the rest of the story went was that Fred treated every level of employee, suppliers and customers very well and the business grew lips and bounds. It diversified into many other areas.
But what Fred said at the end was most revealing. When asked about the return on investments, Fred said,“The Businesses brought me good return of 20%/Year and thus the money tripled every three years, and with God’s grace: Here I am.”
When the classmates heard that final sentence they all looked at each other: “He is still the same ‘Dumb Fred’. How did he make it?”
Reflections: More investigation into Fred's life revealed that: He was still very poor at math and he didn’t have a clue about the compounding interest formula. But he seemed to understand the power of compounding his business by focusing on high quality products and helping people grow. Fred had a common sense to understand the real needs of society and used his gut instincts to make decisions rather than going through elaborate financial analysis. He showed keen interest in people from other cultures and beliefs, learned from diversity, and treated everyone with respect regardless of their social status. He still lived in his old neighborhood and had not learnt driving a car because he had none when he was poor and no time when his businesses took off. People who interacted with Fred loved and respected him and they went extra miles to compensate in the areas Fred was not well versed.
Most of us have had our own “Dumb Fred” moments. When they are used as learning and growing experiences, they result in positive outcomes.
Be Simple, Be humble, Be curious. No Malice, No Bitterness. Utilize every encounter in life as the learning and growing experience.
*with minor modifications/touch ups.
Point to Ponder: What did Taiwanese, New Zealanders, Thais and others knew that some did not. “An ounce of Prevention is better than a pound of cure.”
Story Line: “Perfect Containment until Proven Prevention.”
Covid-19: Source: Worldometers. Date: July 9, 2020
|
No |
Country |
Total Cases |
New Cases |
Total Deaths |
New Deaths |
|
1 |
USA |
3,215,549 |
56,617 |
135,683 |
821 |
|
2 |
BRAZIL |
1,755,779 |
39,583 |
69,184 |
1129 |
|
3 |
UK |
287,621 |
642 |
44,602 |
8 |
|
99 |
THAILAND |
3202 |
5 |
58 |
0 |
|
131 |
NEW ZEALAND |
1540 |
3 |
22 |
0 |
|
163 |
TAIWAN |
449 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
Observations of containment and semi-prevention (of virus spreading) from three visits to Taiwan in January, February and March and One to Chiang Mai.
Reflection: Taiwan and some other countries have done a superb job of preventing spread of the virus by Proactive early engagement actions. For some countries it was knowledge and learning from past episodes and having prevention systems in place, for others like New Zealand it was aggressive actions based on the knowledge of what countries like Taiwan had already done. (wise learn from others' experiences).
Full prevention of virus will be achieved only when the source of the virus is eliminated and vaccine is developed. But until then for some of the countries where virus is widely spreading fast: Without pointing fingers at anyone* let us work together to combat this terrible human tragedy. To wear the mask or not to and whether to follow other containment actions, that is not the question. To act for own safety and that of our families and our fellow human being is individual responsibility. United we stand, divided we will fall.
*A few months ago, even respected medical experts in USA were not advocating use of facemasks, not even simple cloth covering face, while medical grade masks were in short supply. But everyone is learning along the way; hard way in this case. A lot of new discoveries are coming up in the process of finding solutions so at times some of the previous information is not valid or may seem contradictory. Medical professionals are working long hours both for containment and finding Prevention solutions. Let us trust that they would do the right things.
Some people are starting to doubt prevention methodologies and also starting to wonder if all this is a Hoax. I would just point to the data and observations from the places presented above. (Following the best known practices vs drifting and not following them).
While thinking about investing in Prevention and/or New Discoveries I remember the words of Steve Jobs: Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDQezECAxtQ
First time I heard the story "Wisdom of Children" (also translated as Little Girls Wiser than Men) by Russian author Leo Tolstoy was during my childhood. Last year It resurfaced in mind when I read news about parents getting into big fights during The Little League games. Since I had never forgotten the title and the names of two girls in the story, I could easily find it on internet and saved it foran appropriate time to publish. Seeing the above photos and video last week made it the right time.
Story Line (Synopsis-Wikipedia): The story opens at the beginning of Holy Week, when there was still melting snow on the ground. An older girl, Akulya, and a younger girl, Malasha, go outside to play. They both have just been given new frocks, but they insist on wading through one of the puddles from the melting snow. They both take off their shoes to keep them dry, and Akulya warns Malasha against splashing the water on her new frock. Malasha splashes Akulya despite her warning, and Akulya runs home in tears. Her mother is furious at the ruined frock, and she spanks Malasha in the middle of the street. Soon Malasha's mother emerges from her home, and the mothers begin arguing. The shouts brought the peasants into the street, who also begin arguing with each other. The peasants start pushing each other, and Akulya's grandmother urges everyone to stop, but to no avail.
In the meantime, Akulya had washed off her frock, and she and Malasha returned to the pool. The two girls make a small boat out of bark, and they make a stream from the puddle. They go chasing after the boat together, as happy as ever. Akulya's grandmother urges everyone to follow the example of the children, and take their spirit of forgiveness into their own hearts.
Reflection: Most of the things in life are simple but only wise understand them. What is it that we understood and practiced well in childhood that gets forgotten through the growing years? Love, Forgiveness, Compassion, Kindness are so much easier than EGO, Anger, and Hatred. What a pity that a man must die before he wakes up?
Point to Ponder: How many ears must one person have before he can hear people cry? And how many deaths will it take 'til he knows that too many people have died?
Reflection: The image at the top of reflection is Choeung Ek memorial, the reminder of the tragic consequences of the power of hate. It is filled with 5000 human skulls, out of 1.5 to 2 million who were tortured and killed in various killing fields of Cambodia; their fault- having different belief system, education level and status. It is the result of one man and his group of followers’ obsession with hate.
History has many such tragic events in every culture and country; some on a genocidal scale like this and many others, though not as massive, resulting in innocent lives lost because of religious beliefs, race, status or color of the skin. Methods and means for torture were different but the end result was the same; the root cause - Hatred.
These hate initiatives start out small (one person killed, may be a few here and there as the numbers start addingup) but when the ordinary good citizens (other 98% or so) who knew they were wrong didn’t stand up, the other side picked up momentum and forced or coerced good people in joining them with intimidation and false propaganda about the other side. Many people remained silent out of fear.
If such issues are not contained and eliminated at the onset, even if it is just one life, gradually it starts adding up. Right now, this is happening to our children’s future.
But my story line is about a deeper issue.
Story Line: Some may say that there laws and systems to address such issues. But as Dale Carnegie once said “A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” And we currently see this live in action, in many countries around the world. Hatred and violence against people of different faiths and skin color. Laws, a compliance mechanism, are only as effective as people choose. None of us are born prejudice, but pick them up along the way in school, social gatherings, from-friends, adults, books and media. The real change will have to come from us making a conscious choice; acceptance of differences amongst us, appreciating them and learning from one another. And whenever we see injustice, prejudice and hatred, we must not stand on the sideline but speak up for what is right. The requires an inner transformation that takes commitment and courage. We must do this for the sake of the future generations.
My own story: For most of my life, I thought I was an open minded, non-judgemental person until my children pointed out my hidden biases and prejudices expressed in casual conversations, “light jokes” and "well intended" actions. After intense dialogues I came to realize that opinions I had developed about different races, gay rights and an individual’s right to choose were not based on any concrete facts but due to my ignorance about their history, personal feelings and information from media or casual conversations. I still have a lot to learn and realize that inner transformation is the first step in how to view and act in the world. For my children and grandsons sake, I have made that choice.
Learn to do good, seek justice, correct opresion, bring justice to the helpless, stand up for the right cause.
In light of current situation, This is a special reflection on Monday.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Pablo Picasso
Point to Ponder: “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” – Dr. Seuss
Reflection: "In solitude there is healing. Speak to your soul. Listen to your heart. Sometimes in the absence of noise, we find the answers." -Dodinsky
Residence of Jun, El Nido, Philippines
Side View: Kitchen and An Open Air Exercise Area
Dining Room and Bedroom
A Place with Daily Views
And here are fresh from the tree coconuts https://vimeo.com/391870745
Reflection: Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed. - Mahatma Gandhi
Point to Ponder: "We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow; Our wiser sons, no doubts, will think us so" - Alexander Pope
Story Line: A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. Every night, the family ate together at the table. Unfortunately, the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped his glass, he always spilled milk on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
“We must do something about my father,” said the son. ‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.”
The husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather would eat alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the big table. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. If the dropped the bowl, it would clatter with a loud noise, but at least it would not break.
This went on for some time. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little wooden bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. They looked at each other, and felt a cold sensation wash over them. Though no words were spoken, both knew they had acted poorly and needed to take action.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Reflection: Yours?
Special Thanks to a good friend Don Bruner for reminding me about the story we had read about 20 years ago.
