Friday Reflections

Tough times do not last, but tough people do ...(My Lola-10 Years Later)

Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption

Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:

In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s.  Here is her story:

She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.

During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*

Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.

Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.

Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself.  She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.

Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”

“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”

Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time.  She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”

This story was originally published in November 2008.  Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.

As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.” 

Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was  incorporated in my work and personal life.

Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:

"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do'  is a quote by Robert H. Schuller

 

 

Spread your wings, let your spirit soar.

Points to Ponder: Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure. Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life

Story Line:Fascinating journey from Eggs to Babies to the final hug and goodbye kiss before the first flight.

Music:Very First Smile by Bellflower.

 

Since the spring of 2017, every other year these tiny little creatures called hummingbirds have laid and hatched eggs in our patio;In 2017 and 2021 in the same small string light and in 2019 on the tall plant by our window. This March, the mother decided to reuse the nest that was used by her predecessor in 2017. (environmentally conscious) 

First thing she did was to clean up the old nest with her long beak. On March 13th, she laid eggs and started hatching process. Two very tiny babies were born on  April 2nd. The video above shows the daily routine of mom feeding the babies, babies getting curious as they are getting older, training and preparation for the flight in the wide wide world. Very touching scenes were in last few days when Mom was training babies. Equally memorable scenes were; The babies cleaning theirs and each other’s feathers, spreading wings and flight preparation, the last meal served by mother and siblings saying goodbye to each other with hug and final kiss. After the kiss they seem to be pondering "Shall We" before launching their journeys into the world. I was a few seconds late in capturing first sibling’s take off but did capture the second one’s take off. 

Update:My apologies I failed to mention that Mom was injured on the 12th day after the babies were born and had slowed down (Dazed). We called wildlife center and also consulted my cousin who is Ornithologist. With thier guidance and kindness plus Grace of God, the Mom recovered on the 15th day and Everything turned out Ok in the end. 

Reflection: from an article Hummingbird Symbolism and Meaning by Garth C. Clifford. (Link at the end of this section)

Hummingbirds are some of the most incredible creatures on Earth. Their seemingly happy and carefree flight has something magic. These tiny birds are an important figure in culture and folklore. The unique characteristics of these birds made them an important spiritual symbol.

The smallest birds in the world have fascinated people since ancient times. The hummingbird’s interesting characteristics attracted people’s attention and made it a powerful symbol. To understand what does a hummingbird symbolizes, we first must learn about the bird’s traits. The hummingbird can fly backward, and its wings beating up to 80 times per second create an insect-like sound. Hearing this buzzing sound around the flowers reminds us of little things in life and their importance.

Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure.

Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life.The hummingbird is capable of flying long distances to reach the destination. This is why the hummingbird symbol is associated with endurance and perseverance. A hummingbird’s fly reminds us to be adaptable and accept changes.

The symbolism of the hummingbird is also linked to the idea of eternity and infinity. Bird’s wings move in the pattern of figure eight, the ancient symbol of continuity. So what does it mean when you see a hummingbird? The hummingbird symbolic meaning is a positive one. Hummingbirds mean we must expect love, joy, and good luck.

More details about Symbolism and Meaning in different cultures is in the following article.

https://www.worldbirds.org/what-does-a-hummingbird-symbolize/

 

The Successful Man is Himself

POINT TO PONDER 

 

In all my years of coaching, I have never been successful using somebody else’s plays..  - Vince Lombardi

 

STORYLINE: Muhammad is not talking, The fight that Ali lost.

 

Muhammad Ali was set for his first fight against Leon Spinks, an unknown boxer who had only six major fights in his career. Leading up to the fight there were a few things Ali did not do that were part of his normal routines before fights. 

 

He did not prepare as hard but also noticeably was his silence before. In all fights before he was very vocal about opponents, making statements, poetries how he is going to humiliate the opponent. Basically he used to Psyche them out and Psyche him up mentally for the fights. This was also a key factor in his winning fights where he mentally screwed up opponents even before the fight. 

 

From what I had heard, he was advice to be modest before Spinks fight and he decided to stay complete silent when reporters would approach him for questions, refused interviews . He would turn away and walk away when microphones were put in front of him.

 

And you know what happened? He lost that fight against very junior and unknown fighter.

 

 

REFLECTION 

 

One cannot tell what exactly was going through Muhammad Ali's mind leading up to the fight. But what one can learn is that he deviated from what was typical to him as a fighter. That was enough to mean the difference between a win and a loss. The moral? Always fight your fight. 

Akshar(E): Thinking outside the box for Education, Environment and Empowerment.

   

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

Point to Ponder: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead

Story Line: For past month I was thinking of an appropriate story for this special week of Good Friday and Easter. As an old saying goes “Things come to you at a time when you need them the most to get to the next stage, but you must learn from those things first.”

Two weeks ago childhood friends shared information about Akshar, a foundation and the school in Assam, India that accepts plastics (bottles, bags..) as fees in exchange for practical education and also uses innovative approach to utilize child labor to eliminate child labor Child Labor. Many of these children would have otherwise been working as laborers to earn living for their families and they would have never gotten an opportunity to go to school. It was fascinating to see out of the box approach for three Rs’ (Reduce,Reuse,Recycle) in all aspects of their operations.

Last week I had a good fortune to attend a short talk by the founder of Akshar, Dr. Alaka Sharma who has dedicated her life in the service of poor people and indigenous tribes in North East India. At the age of 22, she left her home in Mumbai to help people in the faraway land. In 2014, together with her daughter and son in law they started this school that has created a paradigm shift in education. Vision: Teach them how to save the world.

Instead of writing details of their approach and results here, I would like to share comprehensive and inspiring information about this organization that is already presented well in the website.

I believe their story of service to people in need is timely and appropriate to review and reflect for this special week. 

Mission, Objectives and Key Results

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/

Accountability: Also please look at their annual reports in the following section:

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/media

Reflection: In the past 16 years of over 700 posts, there are just a few stories that have classified under all seven values of Friday Reflections. This is one of those rare stories that is true to FR motto: Things that are given away are never lost and all seven values; Passion, Assume Responsibility, Keep on Learning New Skills, People and Relationships, Flexibility and Performance and Results.

In the words of Mother Teresa “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”  

Happy Easter to Friends around the World

Wouldn’t You like to be his Neighbor?

 

Point to Ponder: "Such honesty shows that (He) probably was raised by parents who were (are) either religious or with strong moral background. As humans we all must have respect for our neighbor. A neighbor is any person on the streets, and not necessarily one that lives next door. I would love to be (his) neighbor. If we all respect our neighbor or even care for a neighbor's needs, this world would be such a beautiful place. How can America instill this kindness, respect for others, etc,?:crime would decrease and the world would be a better place. Thank you for sharing (his)'s honesty in your reflections on Thanks Giving Day." --Dennis Ferraz in response to Friday Reflection (https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2016/11/integrity.html) on November 24, 2016

Story Line: About two weeks ago, in early night hours we were busy chatting with Oliver, our Godson, who had brought his homemade ice cream for us. Suddenly we heard the doorbell ring. Everyone became silent. While putting on my facemask I asked “Who is it?”  The voice on the other side “…., Your neighbor.” When I opened the door she asked if the car that was parked in the front of our home belonged to someone in our home. It was our Godson’s car. She informed him that when her son was backing up his car, it touched Oliver’s car and had some minor dent. Her son had immediately gone in their house and informed parents. She gave her phone number to Oliver. I told her “Thanks for your honesty” to which she replied “Of course”.

Oliver returned after inspecting his car. He told us that the damage was minor and he wouldn’t have noticed that while leaving in the darkness of the night. He too was very touched with the honesty of our neighbor.

A few days later I saw my neighbor, the father of the young man, and told him how much I appreciated his son’s honesty. He told me that he was very happy that his son had demonstrated their family value.

Reflection: We are blessed to have very good neighbors who have also become close friends. Additionally, my good fortune or what but this is the third time in my life that I have encountered incidences of honesty related to bruises on the car. This latest incidence brought back memories of past incidences and two of the most popular Friday Reflections. In the first case (1997) it was also about a young man and his honesty. The second incidence was about five years ago and the gentleman who bruised our car has become a very close friend. I like to revisit those two wonderful memories. Highly recommend to read the comments of the readers in the two reflections below:

1.The Price of Un (https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2012/06/the-price-of-un.html) One of the five stories in the reflection.

In a community college parking lot, a teenage boy that we know left a very small scratch on the car next to his when he opened his car door. No one was around but he still left a note on the scratched car with his name and phone number. Later that evening, the father of the girl who owned that scratched car called. The first thing he said was, “I want to specially thank you for leaving a note even though the scratch is insignificant. I am not sure my daughter would have done the same.” Ultimately, it cost $350 to get the scratch removed. Years later, the same boy’s car was left badly dented in a Union Square parking lot by someone who did not leave a note with his/her phone number. Upon coming home, sad and angry, he asked his father, “ what do I do next time if I scratch or dent someone’s car,” to which the dad replied, “same thing you did the first time.” 

2.Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching

A few months ago, as my wife and I just buckled up and about to turn on the car, a stranger knocked on the passenger side window. I opened a quarter of the window and looked at the man. In a polite voice he informed us that our back tail light cover was cracked when the mattress he was moving …..Story in the link below

(https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2016/11/integrity.html)

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

Point to Ponder: "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen, and thinking differently." - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Story Line: Last two reflections (Resourcefulness , Success ) were about children and their unlimited imagination, creativity, resourcefulness and determination. Future reflections will continue to narrate more such stories of children; their imagination, demonstration of leadership, kindness, honesty and understanding of basics of life.

Reflection: My neighbor Zach and I were chatting about last two reflections. How the children in those stories made the best out of what was available to them; life gave them lemons, they made lemonade out of it.

Zach mentioned that in his business he notices that there are many talented people who are like those children in FR stories. With opportunities and exposure, they thrive and create marvelous things. Then there is another group of people who are fortunate to have resources, connections and knowledge but don’t take action for various reasons (stuck in a box); lack of motivation, inertia, ‘have already achieved goals’, ‘want to take it easy’ or fear of failure. His key point was that many people have so much juice (talent, experience) have/left in them that they can offer a lot more to this world. 

That conversation and the video in this reflection has left me in a very deep thought.

 

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.- Albert Einstein

 

Success does not discriminate: The Jewel in the Palace

Point to Ponder: "Champions (Winners) aren't made in gyms (conference rooms and class rooms). Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." Muhammad Ali

Story Line (from 2006): The beauty of success is that it does not discriminate...and nor is it exclusively held for certain classes of people based on gender, race, social status, national origins or religions.

So during my last overseas visit, when I repeatedly heard about a Korean Mini Series "Jewel in the Palace", which has captivated 100s of millions of viewers of all kinds over South east Asia (From Manila to Malaysia, Seoul to Singapore and Taipei to Tokyo), my curiosity took over.

About 500 years ago, during the time of Chosun dynasty, Jang Geum, a poor eight year orphan girl from a lower class of society is brought to the King's palace to work as a court lady. "Jewel in the Palace" is a true story of Jan Geum's journey from the lowly court servant to the head of Royal Kitchen and ultimately she became the first woman to be the Royal Physician in charge of the king and awarded the title Dae (Great) Jang Geum.

What is even more fascinating are the characteristics of winners that she displays right from childhood as well as a demonstration of Out of the Box Thinking techniques (Focus, Challenge, Associate and Paradigm Shift) throughout her life in a highly beauracratic and hierarchical structure. She is not allowed in the school becuase of her low status but she peeks in the classrooms through windows and learns.

Winners in life have a definite purpose. There was never a winner who did not plan to win in advance and Jang Geum is no exception. In her first encounter with Palace Heads, the eight year old declares, “I want to be the head of the Royal Kitchen.” (Imagine a fresh graduate in his first meeting with VPs saying "I am here to become a COO or CFO". How would it go?). Winners are aware of the price they will have to pay and Jang Geum endures all kinds of (some very severe) punishments, hardships and discriminations throughout her life but stays on course.

She practices OBT ideas by closely observing things, recombining normal ingredients to create new dishes and medicines; which delights the royal family. But the ultimate is the example in Paradigm Shift where she uses acupuncture and surgery to heal a rabbit. It had never been done before and in the process she demonstrated the surgery was a viable option where traditional medicines were not effective.

And just like many Risk Takers, she goes in and falls out of grace with superiors and eventually becomes a prey of Palace politics and fired. She is sent to exile to a remote island. She makes the best out of the situation and learns about medicines and becomes a Physician. With fierce drive and determination, she finds a way back into the palace. Her resourcefulness, integrity and valued solutions are eventually noticed by the king himself and she becomes the first woman to be the Royal Physician of the king.

Reflection: I am sure it is clear to you by now why the story is titled “(The) Jewel in the Palace.” It is a powerful story from Korean history about the rise of a little girl from a meager background to the head Physician of the Palace. During my business trip in Asia I found out that Corporate Executives and  managers/engineers were hooked on this miniseries so upon return I spent 3 full weekends watching it. I realized that in the history of every culture there are stories like this that one can learn a lot from. Things that one can learn from such stories are normally taught in corporate leadership classes; one can just watch such movies and get real life lessons.

Theme song from the mini-series

 

 

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get what you expect.

POINT TO PONDER: What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are. --Epictetus 

STORYLINE (Sources for this article are books* “A whack on the side of the head” by Roger Von Oech and “Fifth Discipline” by Peter Senge)

Several years ago, Johnny Carson made a joke on his television show that there was a toilet paper shortage in this country. He then went on to describe what some of the consequences of this shortage might be.  The implication of this joke was that the viewers had better go out and stock up on toilet paper right away or they would have to face the consequences. The subject made for a good laugh, since there was, in fact, no toilet paper shortage at all. Within days, however, a real shortage did develop. Because people thought there was a shortage, they went out and bought up all of the toilet paper they could find, and, as a result, they disrupted the normal flow of toilet paper distribution.

REFLECTION

This serves as an example of the self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the phenomenon where by a person believes something to be true which may or may not be so, acts on that belief, and by his actions causes the belief to become true. The self fulfilling prophecy is a case where the world of thought overlaps with the world of action. And it happens in all avenues of life. It is also known as the ”Pygmalion effect” after the famous George Bernard Shaw play (later to become My Fair Lady). Shaw in turn had taken his title from Pygmalion, a character in Greek and Roman mythology, who believed so strongly in the beauty of the stature he had carved that it came to life.

 

Business people are quite familiar with self-fulfilling prophecies. In fact, the whole notion of business confidence is based on them. If a business person thinks that the market is healthy (even though it may not be), he will invest money in it. This raises people’s confidence and pretty soon market will be healthy.

 

Pygmalion effects have been shown to operate in countless other situations. An example occurs in schools, where a teacher’s opinion of a student influences the behavior and performance of the student. Managers frequently fail to appreciate the extent to which their own expectations influences subordinate performance.

 

In reinforcing process such as this, a small change builds up on itself. Whatever movement occurs is amplified, producing more movement in the same direction.  Thinking a particular thought has tremendous impact on the world of action.  When you look in the mirror in the morning, see the face of the person who is going to accomplish wonderful things in personal and professional life. Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get what you expect.

 

 

*Highly Recommend Following Books that have positive impact on my life and career.

A Whack on the side of the head by Roger Von Oech

Expect the Unexpected or You won't Find It by Roger Von Oech

Fifth Discipline The art and practice of a learning organization by Peter Senge

 

This article was published in the Book Friday Reflections with the permission of Roger Von Oech and also in October 2011 weekly FR on the Web.

The welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

At Friday Reflections, we're thankful for all of our wonderful readers and the stories, comments and feedback you regularly share with us.  You make Friday Reflections what it is, and we appreciate it. Happy Thanksgiving to You and Your Family.

Point to Ponder: It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

Story Line: The welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality wheat and every season he won the award for the best grown in his county. One year a reporter from the local newspaper interviewed the farmer and learned that each Spring the man shared his seed with his neighbors so that they too could plant it in their fields...

 

“How can you afford to share your best wheat seed with your neighbors when they are entering their crops in the competition with yours?" the reporter asked....

 

“Why that's very simple,” the farmer explained... "The wind picks up pollen from the developing wheat and carries it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior wheat, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of all the wheat, including mine. If I am to grow good wheat, I must help my neighbors grow good wheat"...

The reporter realized how the farmer's explanation also applied to peoples' lives in the most fundamental way... Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

 

The Original Sources for the quote in point to ponder and storyline unknown.

 

 

At Friday Reflections, we're thankful for all of our wonderful readers and the stories, comments and feedback you regularly share with us.  You make Friday Reflections what it is, and we appreciate it. Happy Thanksgiving to You and Your Family.

Point to Ponder: It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

Story Line: The welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality wheat and every season he won the award for the best grown in his county. One year a reporter from the local newspaper interviewed the farmer and learned that each Spring the man shared his seed with his neighbors so that they too could plant it in their fields...

 

“How can you afford to share your best wheat seed with your neighbors when they are entering their crops in the competition with yours?" the reporter asked....

 

“Why that's very simple,” the farmer explained... "The wind picks up pollen from the developing wheat and carries it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior wheat, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of all the wheat, including mine. If I am to grow good wheat, I must help my neighbors grow good wheat"...

The reporter realized how the farmer's explanation also applied to peoples' lives in the most fundamental way... Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

 

The Original Sources for the quote in point to ponder and storyline unknown.

 

The Catch-Dumb Fred Episode 2

Point to ponder: Experience is not what happens to a person, it is what a person does with what has happened to him or her. – Aldous Huxley

Storyline: The Catch (or to be precise: the one that got away).

Every life has stories and associated experiences; seemingly positive or negative.  What we are now is the result of what we have learnt from the lessons and converted them into useful practices. Here is one such story. Dumb Fred Episode 2.  

When Fred was in high school, he joined the school cricket team. On one fine day his school team was playing a match against top notch championship team. The star player of the league from that team was at bat. Fred was sent into the game by the coach to fill-in for another player. While Fred was trying to straighten out the patch of grass in front of him the bowler had already started his run for the pitch. The star player hit the ball which headed right in the direction of Fred.

 Who knows at which precise moment one’s fortune can change?

It is in the split second decisions/actions that fortunes are made or lost. One person becomes Willy Mays and the other....? One company becomes Microsoft and the other, IDR, disappears from the map.

 If the ball was caught it would have been a great honor for the team, the bowler and Fred. It might have hit the news headlines. Unfortunately Fred’s attention to ball came too late. It was a very easy catch but the ball snuck out of Fred’s unprepared hands. Immediately Fred was pulled out of the game and assigned scorekeeping duties. The next day during school assembly, the coach described that scene to all students. Fred accepted responsibility knowing fully well that he had let the team down.

“It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

However the coach could not let go his anger and told Fred never to come near the cricket field. Fred accepted that as punishment. One would think that would be the closure. However the episode did not end there.

During the annual celebration, many students were being recognized for achievement in different areas. The parents and special guests were invited. The announcer was calling different names and suddenly, to Fred’s surprise, his name was announced. Fred Williams- the best score keeper. Fred was surprised but proceeded towards the special guest standing next to the principal and the coach who were having hard time containing the laughter.

 The benefit of being Dumb is not to know the difference between humiliation and celebration….

Half of the audience who knew the intent was laughing and many others who didn’t were clapping. After the awards ceremony, some people came to congratulate Fred not knowing that the award was given to make fun of him rather than for any tangible achievement. Fred went home and showed the award to his mother, who not being cricket literate, jumped with joy and hugged him.

Fred had not grasped the real motive until the next day while having lunch with two regular buddies. They sympathetically inquired how he felt about the previous day. Fred told them that he felt good because he had noticed people enjoying while he went to take the award. Only when his friends explained that it was to humiliate him for dropping that catch, it sunk in a bit.

Two years later on the graduation day while Fred was saying final goodbye to fellow students and teachers, the coach approached him and said the parting words “I will always remember you for that (dropped) catch.”

A Thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Even 50 years later, some fellow students remember that incident and have lighthearted fun with Fred. (Surprisingly none of them remembers who had the highest runs or wickets)

Reflection: "Every problem/experience we have, comes at the time when we need it the most to go to the next level. But we must learn that lesson first." - Dennis Waitley

There are many lessons Fred learnt from that episode that carried on in career and life.

1. Do not take your eye off the ball when someone has entrusted you with responsibility. He followed this rigorously in career with commitments, resources and people. (customers, investors, employees and suppliers)
2. Never humiliate another human being; and especially in public for any reason. Mistakes are inevitable part of life. There were times when two employees made major mistakes and some senior people wanted “heads to roll”. Fred stood up for them and reconfirmed his confidence in their abilities. They became major assets and made significant contributions to the company. (No humiliation and show confidence in your team members.)
3. Parting words are very important. Better to recount good memories rather than take parting shots. Especially when the employees is leaving the team or you are leaving the team. A few kind words about shared experiences will go a long long way. .
4. Hate the sin and not the sinner*. The Principal and The Coach were victims of the system and the thinking of the times. So were many things that Fred did in his school years. Life is nothing but a great learning experience. Many years later, Fred visited the school. Three of them had some nice lighter moments talking about old days and the lessons learnt.

*from the autobiography of Gandhi.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1023338-hate-the-sin-and-not-the-sinner-is-a-precept

Reference -Dumb Fred Original Story: Dumb Fred Episode 1