Friday Reflections

Leaving Lasting Memories

Friends never say goodbye -- they simply say “See you again.”

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to Ponder: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” --Maya Angelou

Storyline: People leave their jobs for a myriad of reasons, whether they’ve found a better opportunity elsewhere, are dissatisfied with their current job, or are simply ready to move on to the next stage of their life.  There are many ways to say goodbye to your colleagues, whether with a goodbye, a hug, or an “I’ll miss you.”  But how can you tell someone how much they meant to you, and how important they were to your experience?

Whenever he left a job to pursue something new, Anand took a cue from his dad and wrote a personal letter to each of his colleagues, from close team members to suppliers, customers, and many others he’d developed relationships with during his time in the workplace.  In the days leading up to his final retirement, he went one step further, creating over 100 one-page PowerPoint collages with pictures, meaningful quotes, and email exchanges to capture the memories he had with each person (or the team) -- trips they’d taken, projects they’d worked on, triumphs they’d shared.  Even now, years later, he still encounters old colleagues at the farmer’s market or during an invitation to dinner and reminisces over the memories they shared.

If you’ve spent time at any organization -- a school, a club, a company -- you’ve likely made some friends and lasting memories.  Why not celebrate them?  Every ending is a chance to reflect, and like all things, reflecting and reminiscing are more fun when you share them with others.

Try also to leave on good terms with people, even if you didn’t always agree with them on certain issues.  You never know when your paths might cross again--and every disagreement was a learning experience you’ll carry with you in the next stage of your life.

(Pictured below are two collages, one made for my dad and one for the team in Malaysia.  Each collage featured three components: work-related memories, such as the graph at right; personal quotes and messages, in the bottom right and middle; and photos of memorable moments.)

Reflection: When I think of lasting memories, I think of high school, the smell of uncapped Sharpies permeating the air, ink staining fingertips as people scribble notes--hasty or heartfelt--in each other’s yearbooks.  Yearbook signatures are like miniature time capsules of your relationship with a person.  We’ve all written “HAGS” (have a great summer) in the yearbook pages of people we didn’t know well.  But the notes we look back on are the stories -- the inside jokes from English class, the impromptu late-night trips to Trader Joe’s, the hours you spent with people at track practice or rehearsals for Seussical or working on the school newspaper, long after everyone else had gone home.

My final goodbye to high school was an Instagram account I ran with my best friend where we posted memes (Internet jokes) based on classic literature.  It was a fun way to spend the last few months of high school and pay tribute to our English classes (and our English teachers, who we still love dearly), and even though neither of us have the time to update it anymore, it’s fun to look back on some of the memories we captured and the reactions from our classmates.  One post I always return to is a series of memes I made about our graduation ceremony, an event that was as chaotic and unintentionally hilarious as it was emotional.  For all the difficulties many of my classmates and I experienced during those formative years, we could always get through it with humor and heart -- and I know that for all the grievances I’ve had with my university, when the time comes to say goodbye, I’ll look back on my time here fondly.

Final thoughts:

Entering your third year of college after spending a third of your undergraduate career on Zoom is a strange experience.  Many of my peers and I still feel like second years, barely acquainted with this brave new world of experimentation and possibility yet already being asked to contemplate our next steps.

We tend to think of college as a final destination, the culmination of thirteen long years of hard work, but it’s really a transitional space.  I think that’s true of a lot of stages in our lives: the end of one journey is the beginning of another, and there’s always a weird in-between to negotiate.  There’s a time for looking back, reflecting on where you’ve been and what you’ve learned, but eventually you must move forward, to go new places and learn new things.  Whether you’re a high school freshman or a senior in college, a newcomer to the workforce or a soon-to-be retiree, I think this advice will help all of us navigate two of the most significant times in your life -- the bookends of adulthood.

 

(Thank you all for your kind words on my previous post -- I’m glad I was able to make a good first impression.)

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

Recognize yourself in he and she who are not like you and me.*

Points to Ponder: Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. - M. Scott Peck

Story Line: This week, there were celebrations of two different festivals in many parts of the world; Halloween and Diwali.

That brought back memories of the rare occurrence that happened in the year 2005. I was on an assignment in Penang, Malaysia. During the span of five days, Malaysians celebrated Halloween, Diwali (Hindu Festival of Lights) and Hari Raya (Muslim day of celebration at the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting). It was fun to see celebrations, the integration of cultures, and harmony between people.

This type of alignment between Western, Islamic and Vedic calendars that brought these three events in a week has happened only once in this century and rarely if ever before. It was a 3:1 feast in experiencing richness of Diversity for me.

Reflection: Throughout my work assignments and travels over the last fifty years I have been fortunate to have met and made close friends from many countries, cultures and religious backgrounds. Many dialogues and interactions between our families plus staying in different countries have enriched me with understanding and appreciation of different customs and practices. There are so many similarities between people once we get to know them. We also learn from the differences in beliefs and practices that have developed because of historical and cultural events.

Just to share one example: annual fasting during certain religious festivals and asking for forgiveness from other people on the last day of festival are common practices in Jainism and Judaism. Most cultures have the message of “The Golden Rule” in their scriptures. This message of kindness and compassion is a common belief that connects many cultures across the globe.

For today I will end this reflection with a beautiful wall hanging I saw in Gandhi Ashram, Ahmedabad, during our visit in 2004. Even though it only mentions two faiths, The message in there is deep and universal.

 

 

*Quote from Carlos Fuentes

 

A Place Where Everybody Knows your Name

Points to Ponder: The words that we attach to our experience become our experience. – Tony Robbins

Cheers, Where Everybody Knows your Name. T-Shirt from Cheers Bar in Boston

Story Line: This year I had a sad experience of parting with the T-Shirt that I have worn for a long time. It was a T-Shirt from Cheers Bar in Boston that my wife and daughter had bought for me over a decade ago. It had inscription on the back: Cheers, Where Everybody Knows your Name. The years had taken its toll. Even after it had developed holes in underarm sleeves a few years ago; instead of throwing it away, I had cut the sleeves and still wore it.

This had greatly puzzled my friend who was witnessing a gentle dialogue between my wife and me about retiring that treasure. So in order to calm/satisfy his curiosity I explained the background.

Years ago when my wife handed me that T-Shirt, the thought (analogy) that came to my mind was “Wouldn’t it be valuable to have the similar theme applied in work and life atmosphere: “Cheers, Where Everybody Knows your and your organization’s Name”? But your stakeholders (customers, partners, investors and employees) can remember your name in two ways; positive experiences or negative experiences.

Years ago I got a job in an organization that managed supply of materials used in making semiconductor chips. The job involved dealing with suppliers in many different countries, huge portfolio of materials, dealing with many different manufacturing facilities and demanding customers. There were huge challenges to continue uninterrupted supply of materials amidst growing business, faster introduction of newer products and technologies, and not very patient customers. Dealing with stakeholders in many different geographies required significant time commitment and flexibility. The pressure and stress level was viewed very intense by some who left the group.

To succeed in such an environment, there was great need for an organization culture that was focused on providing memorable valuable experiences for the stakeholders. Well my good fortune that the team I worked with created such a culture. The organization got recognized numerous times by the real stakeholders for delivering outstanding results. Even years after I retired from the industry, people I run into mentions so many names from that team in a very positive light. Awards, Trophies, Public recognitions are like stamp collections**but the learnings from those experiences are lifelong. That experience had demonstrated to me the true meaning of the tag line “Where Everybody Knows your Name.”

The friend who was previously puzzled with my attachment to that T-Shirt seemed to be happy with the explanation.

Reflection: The experience enriched me with knowledge of many different industries and incredible technologies, understanding of numerous company cultures and learning to work with many country cultures. I also learned about diverse group of materials and how to stay calm under intense pressures while solving complex problems. Not to forget the travel to 13 different countries.  But most importantly learning how to keep customers and team members motivated while dealing with all the challenges. To be honest, I often told myself “How many people in the world get an opportunity to have such a broad scope job and learn so much in same amount of time?”

That piece of cloth and words on it I had held on to so dearly was not just the T-Shirt. It is the memory of the great learning experience. It is also the reminder of the value I must continue to provide to people who put their time, resources and trust in me. Every day, I am enriching myself with new experiences from that learning.

Every encounter in life has some learnings. The key thing is how one views that experience and resulting actions.

**“Stamp Collection” is where one pulls things from the shelf (past), dust them off, flip pages, feel good about it and then put them back. Once former Boss used the words “Stamp Collection” to describe behaviors when people get in the mode of Self Admiration (team members complemnting each other for great job for stakeholders without any input from the real stakeholders) or produce tons of data that is not useful.

The word Place in the title could be a company, a country, an organization, a team, a group or an individual.

 

Extras:

… Making your way in the world today Takes everything you've got……..

.....Be glad there's one place in the world Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came…..….You want to go (Be) where everybody knows your name

=======================================================================================================================================

Besides that dear T-Shirt and one brown like the above photo, there are a few others that have been my companion for a very long time; again for the similar reason as the one above. Each one has enriched me with more knowledge, better service and clarity about life.

Yellow Stone (retired after 10 years of service): For immense diversity and harmony in one place.

SF Giants World Series (still in service):  What a group of committed, focused, rookies and also not star players can achieve when they work together as a team on the singular purpose. They had no superstars or big names when they got their first two championships. And third time they had so many players- Where Everybody Knew their Names. 😊 😊 😃

Global Supply Management (still keeps on ticking eventhough with a lot of beating/torn): It was a great privilege to be of service to this great organization that delivered immense value to the corporation and provided great opportunity to learn about many different industries, incredible technologies, 100s of company country cultures, many country cultures and huge portfolio of materials and solve complex problems.

 

 

 

The Way the Child Sees It

Some stories have changed the world and this is one of those. Appropriate to revisit in the current world environment.First Published in September 2018.

Points to Ponder: Every adult was once a child free of prejudice. – Mother Teresa

Story Line: Sometime ago, one late weekend evening I had retired for the day in bed when I heard the cries of a young child coming from our living room. I rushed there to find the young boy crying and saying “That’s not right, That’s not right, They love each other.” His parents were trying to comfort him.

Noticing that there was a frozen screen on the TV and inquiring further I learned that the parents were watching a movie after the little guy had fallen asleep on sofa. But the little guy had woken up and the parents engrossed in the movie were not aware that he was watching the movie too. The scene where the little guy started crying was when the police stormed into the home of a married interracial couple at night and dragged them out of their beds and arrested them. In the state where they lived, interracial marriages were illegal at that time.

It was obvious that the little guy had no understanding of the race, color, religion or the existing laws at the time. He was looking at them as two people who were in love and living together.

The movie was “Loving” based on the true story. “In 1958, Richard Loving, a white man, and Mildred Jeter, a black woman, drove north from their home in Virginia to Washington, D.C., to get married. Upon returning to Virginia, they were dragged out of bed and arrested by the police. The Lovings’ marriage was not legally valid due to the state’s law barring interracial marriage. The ensuing legal battle upended the lives of the Lovings and their three children for almost a decade.*”

Some love stories can change the world and Loving is one of those. In its unanimous ruling in 1967, the Supreme Court determined that marriage is, “Fundamental to our very existence and survival.” Under the 14th Amendment, “The freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations,” Chief Justice Earl Warren wrote in the opinion. “Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual, and cannot be infringed by the State.”

Reflection: Loving is the story of what happened in America. However, the underlying message is universal. In every country and culture there are prejudices against color, race, religion, social class and for many other reasons. It is easier to criticize others for their views and beliefs. Its when we reflect inwards, that we realize we have a long way to go as individuals.

Reflecting on my own journey, my childhood that was filled with friends from different religions and social classes. Somewhere along the way the environment shifted thinking based on news, opinions of other people, schools and other influences. That resulted in beliefs about others based on ignorance, and not facts.

Over the years, many of my views about race, religion, social class and unjust laws have changed by intense dialogues with my children, my wider exposure to the world and meeting wonderful people. 

"It may seem like a long road ahead, but as I see generation after generation growing up and the consciousness of the parents raising them in an environment free of prejudice against insignificant things, such as the color of someone's skin. I am hopeful this is the change I will see in my lifetime" 

*Source: Huffington Post

Readers comments from previous publication are worth a look. (in comments section)

 

 

 

To Those Who Knock.

   Photo credit: Vincent Van Der Pas (www.archetypefotografie.nl)

POINT TO PONDER

"Perseverance, secret of all triumphs." 

                                - Victor Hugo

 

STORY LINE by Paulo Coelho 

Success does not come from having one’s work recognized by others. It is the fruit of the seed that you lovingly planted.

When harvest time arrives, you can say to yourself: ‘I succeeded.’

You succeeded in gaining respect for your work because you did not work only to survive, but to demonstrate your love for others.

You managed to finish what you began, even though you did not foresee all the traps along the way. 
And when your enthusiasm waned because of the difficulties you encountered, you reached for discipline. 
And when discipline seemed about to disappear because you were tired, you used your moments of repose to think about what steps you needed to take in the future.

You were not paralyzed by the defeats that are inevitable in the lives of those who take risks.
You didn’t sit agonising over what you lost when you had an idea that didn’t work.
You didn’t stop when you experienced moments of glory, because you had not yet reached your goal.

And when you have to ask for help, you did not feel humiliated. And when you learned that someone needed help, you showed them all that you had learned, without fearing that you might be revealing secrets or being used by others.

To him who knocks, the door will open.
He who asks will receive.
He who consoles knows that he will be consoled.

(Taken from “Manuscript found in Accra”)

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast —

 

Above Video-courtesy of Ken Chee of Penang, Malaysia

Points to Ponder: “Charles Darwin described himself as a slow thinker. Einstein famously sat in his office … gazing into the middle distance for hours on end … in the intellectual world and the arts, people have always understood the power of looking slowly at the big picture.” — Carl Honoré

Story Line: Learning to see slow, gradual processes requires slowing down our frenetic pace and paying attention to the subtle as well as the dramatic. If you sit and look into a tidepool, initially you won’t see much of anything going on. However, if you watch the long enough, after about ten minutes the tidepool will suddenly come to life. The world of beautiful creatures is always there, but moving slowly to be seen at first. The problem is our minds are so locked in one frequency, it’s as if we can only see at 78 rpm; we can’t see anything at 33 1/3. We will not avoid the fate of the frog until we learn to slow down and see the gradual process that often pose the greatest threats. – Peter Senge in The Fifth Discipline. The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization

Reflection: The readers found Friday Reflections two weeks ago (There has never been, nor there ever be, another like you. Like You) not only entertaining but also thought provoking. Seemingly simple picture of eight dogs with a quiz “Which one is different?”, had a very profound message once the readers exercised their observations and compared the answers.

In many messages received privately and some in the blog, readers came up with the range of answers: some found one dog being different, many found two to four having some difference, a few found five and six, one with seven and four readers found all four dogs having something different. I believe the hint was in the title of the picture “I checked for 15 minutes and can’t figure out which one is different.” 15 minutes was the clue to slow down and observe closely and not to go for race against time.

One reader wrote “Very smart indeed... Our mind is conditioned to act fast based on past experiences. When such a pic is shown and asked to find one that is different, logic escapes the mind. This is a universal phenomenon.”

That is why we need to slow down and observe carefully. By rushing to judgement too fast, we may be missing out on many opportunities to discover new things and solve problems correctly. The deeper we listen and observe, we will find uniqueness that is in every living being. Appreciating differences, in this case both in physical characteristics of dogs and the various answers of readers, and combining them for the optimal solution is a source of strength. This is the reason for the above storyline, as we all need to take a deep breath and pause to observe the world around us. By doing this we will learn to appreciate everything that life offers us.

So however insignificant this fun picture may look, there is a lot to learn for solving significant problems for people in all walks of life: Leaders, Parents, Teachers, Politicians, Scientists and every one of us.

Title is from the quote of Eddie Cantor: “Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast — you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”- 

There never has been, nor will there ever be, another like you.

Points to Ponder: It's a beautiful picture that represents a profound message. Uniqueness, the precious gift of Universe to each living being.

Now can you find which one or how many are different?

Credit for this puzzle: I a M F I N E @iamfine726      https://www.facebook.com/iamfine726/

Reflection:  We are all created unique and special. Universe made us all having our own uniqueness. Some people have blue eyes, brown eyes, black eyes, some people can do this, some people can do that, some people are right handed, some people are left handed. Some people like art, some science and some other commerce. Some are dreamers, some are emotional and others are called  practical. We were made for a purpose. What we need to do is to slow down, observe carefully and appreciate the richness of diversity. Then, the whole new world of opportunities opens up.

So now can you find which one or how many are different? 

 

Thanks to Rekhabhabi for sharing this beautiful picture with a deep message about life and living.

Understanding the significance of being insignificant-Pale Blue Dot

Point to Ponder: It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known. — Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

Special Thanks to Bonnie Kao for sharing this very appropriate article for reflection in any time (even more so in current times)

Story Line: Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

 The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

 Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

 The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

Reflection: It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

p.s. where did the photo come from?

The above excerpt from Carl Sagan's book Pale Blue Dot was inspired by an image taken, at Sagan's suggestion, by Voyager 1 on 14 February 1990. As the spacecraft was departing our planetary neighborhood for the fringes of the solar system, it turned it around for one last look at its home planet.

Voyager 1 was about 6.4 billion kilometers (4 billion miles) away, and approximately 32 degrees above the ecliptic plane, when it captured this portrait of our world. Caught in the center of scattered light rays (a result of taking the picture so close to the Sun), Earth appears as a tiny point of light, a crescent only 0.12 pixel in size.

And how many times can a man turn his head And pretend that he just doesn't see

Points to Ponder: How many ears must one person have Before he can hear people cry?

Oh, the answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind

Story Line: This song was written in 1962 by Bob Dylan and reflected the times of Vietnam war, violence and protests for human rights. However, seeing the current situation in the world, I thought of the message of this song. I share again with you as it is especially relevant today.  

I hear Bob Dylan's voice as he pleads: And how many deaths will it take 'till he knows That too many people have died? 

Reflection: No matter what political or religious believes you have, I am sure everyone wants these senseless killings to end. A quick solution for these tragedies needs to be in place. We must do everything possible to make sure that this madness stops.

Otherwise:  "What a pity a man must die before he wakes up?"

 

Lyrics: Blowin’ In The Wind by Bob Dylan

How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man?

How many seas must a white dove sail Before she sleeps in the sand?

How many times must the cannon balls fly Before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind

How many years can a mountain exist Before it's washed to the sea?

How many years must some people exist Before they're allowed to be free?

And how many times can a man turn his head And pretend that he just doesn't see - The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind

How many times can a man look up Before he sees the sky?

How many ears must one person have Before he can hear people cry?

And how many deaths will it take 'till he knows That too many people have died?

The answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Oh, the answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind

Songwriter: Bob Dylan was awarded The Nobel Prize in Litreature in 2016.

Blowin' in the Wind lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

A version of this article was published on March 29, 2018 during gun violence that resulted in deaths of many innocent children and adults.

 

 

Things Shared Are Never Lost (on 16th/36th Anniversary)

Points to Ponder: We are never really happy until we try to brighten the lives of others - Helen Keller

Story Line: Friday Reflections Through The Years ( a few sample images from 713 posts)

Reflection: What began in August 1985 as the stories I would tell our children on weekly Friday Evening rides became an asset while launching an Out of the Box Thinking class in the year 2004 in Penang, Malaysia and Cavite, Philippines. Participants liked the different concepts that were explained through stories of people, places and experiences. Per their request, Friday Reflection on internet was officially launched on August 5, 2005. Thanks to all for your encouragement, ideas, feedback and support for past sixteen years. ❤️🌅

Images above represent the seven values of Friday Reflections. Some of these were shared by readers and featured in reflections through the years.

Seven Values Are: 1. Keep on Learning New Skills. 2. Assume Responsibility 3. People and Relationships 4. Flexibility 5. Take Risks 6. Passion 7. Performance and Results.