Friday Reflections

Holiday Humor: To err is human, to forgive divine

Point to Ponder: To err is human, to forgive Divine. But then someone said: To err is human, isn’t that Divine?

Reflection: George Bush Sr. was not the only President who had a Vice President who used to goof.......

Vice President Dan Quayle (1988-1992) in his various speeches:

One word probably sums up the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy but that could change.

El Salvador is a democracy so it’s not surprising that there are many voices to be heard hear. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans…I have heard a single voice.

We expect them (Salvadorian Officials) to work toward the elimination of human rights.

If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.

Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here. –in his visit to Hawaii in September 1989

What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind, or not to have one at all.

Ronald Reagan had one too.

Source: San Jose Mercury News or Parade Magazine in 1980s. I have Saved it in my collectibles since then.

Story Line: Last week’s Friday Reflection titled No Man is a Failure who has Friends had an error in the spelling of the word Failure in the title. It was spelled Faillure. Thanks to Sharon for letting me know and  My apology for the mistake. Trying to make the change in the title would have changed the link to the article that was sent out worldwide. So a footnote was placed in the article explaining the situation. My 92 years old mom witnessing my face tried to soothe my pain by reminding me of some stories I had told her a few decades ago. Thinking of those made me laugh and I am sharing some of those with the readers.

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Points to Ponder: If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of others you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.- Mister Rogers

Discovering the truth, about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort. -Mister Rogers

Story Line: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in the world.

It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.

Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.

Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.

Reflection: From Mr. Rogers’ speech at Emmy for Life Time Achievement Award*

"So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who loved us into being. 

Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life."

"10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time. "

"Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made.”  

*Entire speech is in the video at the top of this reflection. Thanks to Mary Abel, former colleague and a good friend, for introducing me to this video. It inspired me to write this Friday Reflection; coincidently a day before the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is going to be released.

Leaking Bucket

Points to Ponder: We struggle to fill our lives with earnings of knowledge, hoping it will retain it all, but it leaks due to the many flaws that we commit daily.

Reflection: One of my bosses had a special skill. Whenever anyone in the organization started criticizing other people, other organizations or unleashed superiority complex, he would gently nudge the conversation and make us realize that we too had enough problems of our own and a lot of things to focus on. Also in my last job, we had a group of employees who wouldn’t hesitate to point out if my words and actions showed gaps. Both those experiences been humbling and they have helped in the journey of continuous improvement.

Today I received the following story from a reader* that reminded me of those people and good to reflect on it for the holidays.

Story Line: Leaking Bucket

You're very kind to outsiders/people in power and speak with them gently, but with your own family/employees you're inconsiderate and rude. (A leaking bucket)

You honor and treat your guests well but when they leave, you gossip about them and talk about their flaws. (A leaking bucket)

You try to read as many religious books, listen to sermons, participate in social services but you judge, criticize, hate, insult and curse daily. (A leaking bucket)

You frequently advice/preach others, but hardly practice it yourself. (A leaking bucket)

You slander people with different believes, culture, choices and Faith out of hatred when their views do not align with yours. (A leaking bucket)

You look down on others and feel more superior to them; judging their level of knowledge and socials status based on your perceptions, incomplete facts & external appearances. (A leaking bucket)

You wake up early morning trying to do Prayers but your mind is elsewhere and before you know it, you're done with it, without being mindful of it. (A leaking bucket)

We struggle to fill our "lives"(the bucket) with "earnings" of knowledge (the water), hoping it will retain it all, but it leaks due to the many flaws (the holes) that we commit daily.*

An excellent reminder for all including MYSELF to try and mend these holes up so we may progress further through this inevitable curriculum of life.

*story sent by a reader in India with a humble request not to use his name because he read this somewhere and does not know the original source.

Loose lips sink ships. Especially after a few drinks.

World War II poster by Seymour R. Goff. 

Points to Ponder: When it comes to senior management there are no casual conversations. Anything you say or do can be used against you at an appropriate time in the courts of the corporation.

Storyline: Most Senior Managers live A Purpose Driven Life. That purpose is connected to objectives, key results, associated success indicators and that extends into all aspects of their life including home life (that story in future FR). They feel the time is very precious and every moment has to be used into some productive output and even casual conversations fall into those categories. Here are two of the many stories I have encountered during my career.

 Story One: First Impression and knowing the audience.

One day I received an email from a guy in my group who was visiting a facility in a foreign country. He was very excited that he had run into my boss in the hotel restaurant, and as he mentioned “We had an exciting shoot the breeze session (casual conversation)”. A week later in my 1:1, the boss told me about that meeting and said “Your guy told me that he was there to just check out on things. Seemed to me that he didn’t have a very clear purpose for the trip. For just checking out, why didn’t you use our local people?” There was some other conversation that is not mentioned here for confidentiality reasons. But the same meeting and the same words but very different interpretations. The guy was there for a very critical supply line issue but in the half an hour with the VP, in his excitement to “Break the Ice”, he had broken the Iceberg that I had to tackle for years after.

Story Two: Holiday Season Parties and after a few Drinks (1976)

The General Manager (GM) of our division had invited his direct staff, some engineers and the spouses to his place to celebrate holidays and to appreciate 60-70 hours per week that we had put in for the entire year to start the new manufacturing plant and introduce the flagship product. At dinner very delicious food and exotic drinks were served. After dinner more vintage wine started flowing and the people seemed determined to shed their inhibitions and let the night take its course.

In one room the casual conversations between spouses drifted in the direction of the work life effectiveness. Many Spouses felt that because of long work weeks, their partners did not have enough time at home for children or themselves. They came to the other room to express their feelings to the general manager. The spouse of the design manager (DM) took the lead in starting the conversation on behalf of the team, but with the drinks warming up the blood, and more joining, it got very intense. Words got out of control and looking at our general managers’ face, I felt that things were not looking good. The event ended soon after. As our still gracious GM was walking us towards our parked cars, I heard him tell the DM: (name) I have never been humiliated so badly by anybody.

A month after the incidence, DM office had been moved from Mahogany Lane to our lane: the lane of the working class. His special privileges like having a secretary were suspended and he was stripped of his title and staff. He left our company a few weeks after.

Reflection: Yes in both stories above, supreme EGOs were involved and there were better ways to handle the situations. The stories like above have happened in other places and with all genders. In my 40 years career, I have witnessed episodes of casual conversations resulting in unwanted consequences; not only the type mentioned above but also others where they were brought up during performance review discussions, key job assignments and promotional considerations.

On the flip side, FR has and will continue to publish stories that have resulted in positive outcomes and good benefits.

Holiday Season is fast approaching and the readers may encounter more articles on this subject (about caution and moderation) in other publications too.

This FR is: One For The Road.

 

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

Points to Ponder: Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Story Line: Timeless teachings from Gandhi on his 150th Birth Anniversary (October 2)

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the fault of others.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

My religion is based on truth and non-violence. Truth is my God. Non Violence is the means of realising Him.

There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other courts.

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”

Reflection: Hate the sin, love (forgive) the sinner.

During Noakhali religious riots in 1946, Gandhi started fasting until death unless the people stopped killing one another. The People from different rioting parties approached Gandhi to promise they would stop and asked him to eat. The real event from that time is shown very well in the movie Gandhi by Sir Richard Attenborough.

Gandhi suggests A Way Out of Hell for the man who had killed a young boy from the opposing side.

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.” ― Albert Einstein.

 

 

Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions*

POINT TO PONDER

“It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.”  - Steve Jobs

STORY LINE

The year was 1984. My boss and I were in a one on one meeting. As I was explaining the details of one project, my boss intervened and said, “you are defensive”. I was taken aback by the comment and immediately replied, “I am not defensive,” and started explaining why.

A few minutes into my explanation, my boss put his pen on the table and with a cunning smile on his face he said, “I rest my case. Let us move on to the next subject”. 

It took me a while, a long while, to understand the depth of the feedback he had given me.  For a considerable period of time I criticized him for being so blunt. But over the years, I realized how valuable his feedback was and how helpful it became in my career.

For example, there was a time in my career when I decided to go into business for myself. I bounced the idea off of my mentor, an accomplished executive. He endorsed the idea. Initially, the business grew, doing quite well, but I also discovered that it I did not like to do many of the minor tasks that are required for running a business. 

Noticing that, my mentor said to me, “you need to go back to work for a company. You have lost the discipline to run the business as an individual owner. But you have a lot of experience and track record that will be helpful when you have resources available to guide”. Yes it was a tough pill to swallow... But it was also very true. 

So I went back to work at a company, and looking back, it was a very good advice. I had a stellar career in the corporate world and could focus my strengths in places I could maximize them most and led to a successful and fulfilling career. 

REFLECTION

Feedback is a valuable gift but many times it comes in forms that can be hard to take, especially if comes wrapped in the form of blunt honesty. But after the initial hurt and anger wears off, and you can look at the feedback for what it is, it can lead to tremendous growth. We just have to be able to put our ego aside to see it. 

*Title is a quote from Ken Blanchard

Being republished due to Readers' requests. Original date August 27, 2015.

 

 

Happy Birthday to “Oracle of Omaha”- Warren Buffett at 89

Points to Ponder: “When you get to my age you’ll really measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you.”

“Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”

Story Line: Warren Buffett, an extra ordinary human being who has given away most of his $88 billion in wealth to Bill Gates Foundation, turns 89 today. With his profound wisdom, practical experience and the great sense of humor, he has continued to inspire us. Below, Warren's views about political and socio-economic system that he shared in Q&A with University of Maryland MBA students.

How has your understanding of markets contributed towards your political views?

WB: I wouldn’t say knowledge of markets has. My political views were formed by this process.  Just imagine that it is 24 hours before you are born. A genie comes and says to you in the womb, “You look like an extraordinarily responsible, intelligent, potential human being. Going to emerge in 24 hours and it is an enormous responsibility I am going to assign to you – determination of the political, economic and social system into which you are going to emerge. You set the rules, any political system, democracy, parliamentary, anything you wish, can set the economic structure, communistic, capitalistic, set anything in motion and I guarantee you that when you emerge this world will exist for you, your children and grandchildren.

What’s the catch? One catch – just before you emerge you have to go through a huge bucket with 7 billion slips, one for each human. Dip your hand in and that is what you get – you could be born intelligent or not intelligent, born healthy or disabled, born black or white, born in the US or in Bangladesh, etc. You have no idea which slip you will get. Not knowing which slip you are going to get, how would you design the world? Do you want men to push around females? It’s a 50/50 chance you get female.

If you think about the political world, you want a system that gets what people want. You want more and more output because you’ll have more wealth to share around. The US is a great system, turns out $50,000 GDP per capita, 6 times the amount when I was born in just one lifetime. But not knowing what slip you get, you want a system that once it produces output, you don’t want anyone to be left behind. You want to incentivize the top performers, don’t want equality in results, but do want something that those who get the bad tickets still have a decent life. You also don’t want fear in people’s minds – fear of lack of money in old age, fear of cost of health care.  I call this the “Ovarian Lottery”. My sisters didn’t get the same ticket. Expectations for them were that they would marry well, or if they work, would work as a nurse, teacher, etc. If you are designing the world knowing 50/50 male or female, you don’t want this type of world for women – you could get female. Design your world this way; this should be your philosophy.

I look at Forbes 400, look at their figures and see how it’s gone up in the last 30 years. Americans at the bottom are also improving, and that is great, but we don’t want that degree of inequality. Only governments can correct that. Right way to look at it is the standpoint of how you would view the world if you didn’t know who you would be. If you’re not willing to gamble with your slip out of 100 random slips, you are lucky! The top 1% of 7 billion people. Everyone is wired differently. You can’t say you do everything yourself. We all have teachers, and people before us who led us to where we are. We can’t let people fall too far behind. You all definitely got good slips.

You are one of the few male CEO’s who champions women in the workplace. Can you talk about your reasoning and how we can contribute our intelligence to the workplace?

WB:  We wrote the Declaration of Independence in 1776 – “All men are created equal” etc. In 1789 we wrote a Constitution – on second thoughts… blacks are only 3/5 of a person. They slipped up. They wrote in such a way that they didn’t have to use gender pronouns. They gave themselves away in presidency, they said “He”. Pretty soon all men are created equal became all males are created equal……….…………..

Everyone had expectations of me as a child, but my sisters who were just as smart, were delegated to something different. Here is this country, think about how far we came from using half our talent. Now we are beginning to unleash the potential of the other half.

Notes of the all Q&A are in the following link:

https://blogs.rhsmith.umd.edu/davidkass/uncategorized/warren-buffetts-meeting-with-university-of-maryland-mbams-students-november-15-2013/

Reflection:  A man’s true wealth hereafter is the good he has done for his fellowmen.  Mahatma Gandhi

For those yearning for more Golden Nuggets of Wisdom from Warren ……see following articles

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/08/30/warren-buffett-why-you-should-focus-on-your-communication-skills.html

https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2014/02/warren-buffetts-magnificent-seven-.html

Leadership and Mental Toughness

Point to Ponder: Mental toughness is also the perfectly disciplined will and the will, gentlemen, is the character in action. 

Story Line: from the speech of Legendary football coach Vince Lombardi. 

But the most important element in the character make-up of a man who is successful is that of mental toughness, and I might say the most difficult to explain because mental toughness is so many things. For example, it is humility. Simplicity is a form of humility and simplicity is the sign of true greatness. Meekness is a sign of humility, and meekness is a sign of true strength. Mental toughness is spartanism with its qualities of sacrifice and self-denial, also the qualities of dedication and fearlessness and love. Not the love you have for your wife or your wife may have for you. The love I am speaking of is loyalty, which is the greatest of loves. Teamwork, which is a form of love and the love one man, has for another is respecting the dignity of another man. The love I speak of is not detraction. You show me a man who speaks ill of another and I’ll show you a man who is only temporarily successful. Or one who is not charitable. Or one who is not loyal. I’m not advocating that love is the answer to everything, but when I speak about the love which forces everyone to love everyone else. For example, you’ve got to love the white man because he is white or the black man because he is black or the poor man because he is poor, or your enemy because he is your enemy, but rather a love of one human for another human – who just happens to be white or black, rich or poor, enemy or friend, because heart power is your strength, heart-power is the strength of your company, heart-power is the strength of America, and hate-power is the weakness of the world. Mental toughness is also the perfectly disciplined will and the will, gentlemen, is the character in action. The great hope of society has to be character in action and we are never going to create a good society much less a great one until we once more recognize and respect individual excellence. Because if we would create something we must be something, because character is the direct result of doing. Character is the direct result of mental attitude and you cannot copy someone else’s particular character qualifications but must develop your own according to your own particular personality.

Let me say this in closing. When all is said and done – to be successful a man must exert an effective influence upon his brothers and upon his associates and the degree in which he accomplishes this depends upon the personality of the man. The incandescence of which he is capable, The flame of the fire that burns inside him, The magnetism which draws the hearts of other men to him. No man, no matter how great he may be, can long continue to be successful unless he wins the battles because the battle decides all. How you do this, I think it is essential to understand that conquests are won primarily in the hearts of men and once you have won their hearts, they’ll follow you anywhere. Man will respond to this type of leadership in a most remarkable way. Success is based on a spiritual quality; a power to inspire others, sometimes for good, sometimes for evil, sometimes for one’s personal ends, sometimes it can be partially or wholly evil. When it is evil, fortunately, while it may temporarily succeed, it always keeps within itself the seeds of it’s own destruction. The difference between a successful man and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will because the character rather then education is man’s greatest need and man’s greatest safeguard because the character is higher than the intellect. The difference between men is in energy, in the strong will, in a singleness of purpose, and an invincible determination. But the great difference is in sacrifice, in self-denial, in love and loyalty, in fearlessness and in humility, in the pursuit of excellence and in the perfectly disciplined will, because this is not only the difference between men, this is the difference between great and little men.

The entire speech can be found at

http://www.daytonagonisclub.com/vince-lombardi-agonis-speech.html

Reflection: January 1976 was my first exposure to Superbowl championship game. When Pittsburg Steelers were being given the trophy, the announcement said Vince Lombardi trophy. My curiosity led me to the local library to find out who was Vince Lombardi. I discovered that he was not just a coach but a great human being with high ethics and superb moral character. I have admired his leadership and values and learnt a lot from his life. Below is some information about Vince Lombardi. (Source Wikipedia)

Vincent Lombardi is best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s, where he led the team to three straight and five total NFL Championships in seven years, in addition to winning the first two Super Bowls at the conclusion of the 1966 and 1967 NFL seasons.

He never had a losing season as a head coach in the NFL, compiling a regular season winning percentage of 72.8% (96–34–6), and 90% (9–1) in the postseason for an overall record of 105 wins, 35 losses, and 6 ties in the NFL. 

Although Lombardi was noted for his gruff demeanor and "iron discipline", he was far ahead of his time in creating a supportive environment for gay players, and he emphatically challenged existing Jim Crow Laws, and provided leadership to break the color barrier in football. He once said that he "... viewed his players as neither black nor white, but Packer green". 

Lombardi is considered by many to be the greatest coach in football history, and he is recognized as one of the greatest coaches and leaders in the history of all American sports. The year after his sudden death from cancer in 1970, he was enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and the NFL Super Bowl trophy was named in his honor.  

 

 

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

Independence Week Thoughts

Reflections: Your Own.....