Friday Reflections

Every Life Tells a Story

As we end the 34th year of Friday Reflection and 14th year on internet.

Points to Ponder: Childhood Memories

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?  - Quote from the movie "Stand By Me" by Stephen King

 

My dad taught me from my youngest childhood memories through these connections with Aboriginal and tribal people that you must always protect people's sacred status, regardless of the past. - Steve Irwin

Reflection: by Analisa  (written in the year 2007)

Friday Reflections began when I was a little girl growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley. Every Friday, after dinner; my father, mother, brother and I would pile into our beat up, light yellow, 1983 Volvo to go for our weekly rides. During these rides, which would last about an hour, my father would regale us with all sorts of intriguing stories. Always, there was a little touch of humor, but there was also something a little more: a lesson to be learned. The stories were almost always from his childhood or his current life in the high tech world. My father told these stories in such a casual way that my brother and I never felt like we were in school being lectured; we just enjoyed listening to stories.

These drives continued for years and years. No matter how long my father had worked through the week, he always had enough energy to take us out on those magical Friday night rides. My father is a great storyteller. Even to this day, he can tell a story with people so intrigued from beginning to end. We loved those stories and thought he was a fun dad.

Time passed till my brother and I reached our teenage years. The time we spent at home grew less; and the ability to get all four of us together on a Friday night, even any night, was nearly impossible. Eventually, my brother and I left for college and the stories stopped completely. We had started our own journeys into the world.

One Friday night, before I headed out the door with some friends, I logged into my email account. An email awaited in my inbox. It read: Friday Reflections. It was from my father. I opened it up; and there was one of his stories told in an email, just as if I were a little girl again sitting in the backseat of a 1983 light yellow Volvo listening intently to her dad.

By 2004, Friday Reflections was being distributed to hundreds of friends over the world. In 2007, my brother Rajiv, our friend Neil, and I embarked on making these stories available to others through World Wide Web and The Book.

We only hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as my brother, I and many friends have through the years. 

Story Line by Anand: On a few occasions I have been asked how I have so many stories to share. Once two colleagues asked that very same thing. Interestingly in a half an hour conversation with them, they had shared a few stories of their own that could be Friday Reflection entries of their own. I pointed this idea out to them. I enjoy reflecting after a satisfactory encounter with any person, place or new learning experience. Almost every day I get a new story from meeting people, reading or witnessing something or with a new experience. My greatest joy is in being able to recall these experience and share them with others.  Every life has a story. Don’t be afraid to share! Because as I have quoted many times before, “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

 

 

If You Want To Be Happy, Be

Point to Ponder: The happiest people....

don't have the best of everything,

they just make the best of everything.

Reflection: It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness- Charles Spurgeon  

One Person's Trash Is Another's Treasure

One Person's Trash

What does it take to take your idea/company of the ground?

Points to Ponder:

“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

Story Line: One childhood habit (fascination) that I have not been able to get rid of is to watch planes take off and fly. Even after all these years of growing up, I still go to San Francisco Airport a few times a month and spend couple of hours watching planes take off and land. 

What makes this magnificent creation of human mind and efforts; weighing more than half a million pounds (ex. 777, 747); soaring at 35000 feet; and traveling over 7000 miles without stopping; to take hundreds of passengers safely to their destination? 

Based on Aerodynamics, four forces are constantly at works to enable a plane to fly: Thrust, generated by engines and propellers, is responsible for forward motion of the plane. Drag, created by air resistance, slows down the forward motion. Thrust has to be greater than Drag for a plane to move forward. This is enabled through right powered engines and streamlined design. The third force is Weight, a gravitational force responsible for downward motion. And the final force is Lift, created by a balancing force of wind beneath the wings, which counters weight and pushes plane upwards. And most of the planes need one more and very important force, a human one: A Pilot.

So what do all these have to do with your idea or a company? This is where Human dynamics comes into play. You are the Pilot (inventor or entrepreneur) who needs to convert your idea (dream) into reality (destination). You are the pilot (employee, manager or a leader) who constantly needs to create more value for your stakeholders (investors, employees, customers and suppliers). You have to have the strong Thrust (Belief in your vision, Passion, Courage to move forward) to overcome the Drag (Ney Sayers, Roadblocks). You have to have the Lift (Willpower, efficient organization design) to rise above the Weight (Bureaucracy, Resource Constraints). You have to create a flight path (charter a course) and put your ideas/projects in motion.

How many planes return to terminal after the boarding gates close? How many times, or did you ever, hear about a pilot giving up once the plane reaches V speed of 150-180 miles/hour? Once you put your idea/project in motion, it reaches a takeoff point where forces of Lift (Passion) and Thrust (Willpower) overcome the forces of Drag and Weight. Yes, it takes a lot to get a plane off the ground. And there begins your journey to your destination.

But the journey is not over yet. What happens when a plane encounters turbulence or unexpected event? The pilot looks at the monitors (data) and makes necessary adjustments to altitude or flight path. How many instances do you know where a pilot has given up on destination (goal) or start a brand new journey (a program of the month/year) or dropped the plane all together? In such cases, not only that the passengers would not reach their destination; but it would also waste tremendous resources and do a great disservice to your stakeholders. Won’t it?

And what about a situation where the plane is cruising at 35000 feet in a nice weather (project/ organization is functioning well). It is in auto pilot mode (called Empowerment in corporate world). There are real time monitors and indicators constantly flashing. There are bells and whistles to flag abnormalities. Does it mean the pilot can sit back and take it easy? (Delegate his leadership?).

Reflection: Any entrepreneur or a successful leader never takes his eye off the ball. They are constantly monitoring their flight and do make necessary course correction; but they do not give up until they reach their destination.

And guess what? There is an old Airline saying, “A plane makes money only when it is in the air.” Similarly an entrepreneur or a good leader never rests. They are ready to take off to the next destination as soon as new passengers are on board.

Exceptional Employees: Last I heard, we get paid for making things possible

Ability is what you are capable of doing, motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz.

Storyline:

Early in my career, one boss gave me sage advice: “Companies hire us to make things possible, not to report why things are not possible”. Throughout my career, I have seen many examples of people who do not stop for the “impossible”. Here is one such story:

You don’t have the right degree.

Many years ago, while looking for a person to manage our business systems, we interviewed a young man who had just graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in business. Knowing fully well that he did not have a degree in Computer Science, as was normally required; we took into account the fact that he was a computer fanatic from the age of eight and displayed tremendous enthusiasm to tackle new challenges. It was a risk, but the interview team felt that it was worth it.

You can’t get onto the corporate roadmap.

During the first month, he noticed that our small group needed some key applications, but was told that it was impossible to get on the corporate group’s roadmap. So he decided to learn programming himself. Instead of going to a full semester course with a fee of $3,600 that others had done, he bought a book for $32 and got started on the basics.

We don’t have the budget.

Then came the second hurdle. We did not have the budget for the server to host our applications. He found out that a local IT department had recently upgraded some systems and had put the old ones in the warehouse. He got one for free. In the process, he made friends with the technician who provided invaluable support, and who was later himself promoted into new roles.

The customers hate dealing with IT.

His customers were used to support groups that measured their success by the number of tools delivered, instead of tracking if it had solved the customer’s real needs. As a refreshing change, he patiently listened to various internal customer/user groups’ needs and then focused on delivering solutions rather than just systems and tools. Customer satisfaction had never been higher.

Starting up a business is the biggest challenge.

When, after 5 years with us, he left to pursue his own venture, the stamp on his exit paper read “Eligible for Re-hire” (as soon as he is available.) I expect these same qualities will help to overcome the next level of obstacles in starting up two businesses destined for success.

Originally Published: July 2007. Repeated because of many readers requests

Update 2019: His business has grown very well with delighted customers and great team of highly motivated employees.

Reflection:

In the words of one my mentors, “The difference between a very successful person and not-so-successful one; between a 5 figure and 7 figure income is not in the technical or content knowledge. It is given that you need that. The key differentiation is in how you carry yourself with respect to attitude, relationships, communication, commitments…

The Best .... in the Planet

Point to Ponder: An Empty Vessel Sounds More – Indian Proverb

Story Line: Whenever I hear or read things like: We are the best company/people/organization in the Planet, some lifetime experiences resurface in my mind. Here are a few:

There was a textile mill (#1 at the time) in the town I grew up. For a while they had huge control on the market place due to their size, resources, connections and a special clothing material and seemed invincible. One of our relatives worked there in sales department. He used to say that his was the best team in the world until someone pointed out that they were the only one with that product at that time and his team didn’t need to do much to sell it. The real test came when the competition came in and economy worsened. The best team in the world, resting on their laurels and indulged in self-admiration, and having done nothing innovative and lacking imagination or real experience fizzled. Eventually with that kind mindset prevalent over the entire mill, they went under and got sold.

There is another story I heard in the later years where the company believed that they had the best manufacturing in the world, “The Best Bar None”, and will not allow outsiders, even the major customers, to go inside their facilities. Over time, they started losing their edge and lost tons of money. A new leader came in. He openly invited a major customer to go inside their factory and found out from them that his company was far behind the world in technology and manufacturing practices. Instead of prevalent mentality of Being the Best in the Universe and avoiding looking outside, he spent months in learning the best practices around the world. Upon return, he opened the closed minds and the company recovered and thrived.

Reflection: My father used to say: In good times you don’t have to do much to do sell anything or get a job in a good company. The real test of a person comes in during the bad times. Can you increase your sales during real bad times, can you find a job with a good company during worst of times?
The people and organizations who are humble, not resting on their laurels and constantly innovating make it through tough times and come out strong. Whereas the ones who are intoxicated with the arrogance and false sense of pride find out soon that they did not have any tangible value to offer (except EGO (if it is considered tangible value) either inside or outside; and panic and eventually perish.

So Be Humble, Be Open, Be Part of this World and Keep focus on being better than what you used to be. You will go a long way.

"I'm gonna be like you, dad. You know I'm gonna be like you"

 

Points to Ponder: Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said. – Author Unknown
“And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me- He'd grown up just like me- My boy was just like me.” – from the song Cat's in the Cradle written by Harry and Sandra Chapin

Story Line: Some-time ago, in response to the reflection Teach Your Children/Parents Well , two readers; Levi’s and Paul Jaquette had suggested another meaningful song “Cat's in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. Since then, I have listened to this song many times and I would like to share with you as the year is winding down. It has a very deep message for parents. Please spare a few minutes to listen

Reflection: Every-time I listen to this song, many childhood memories resurface. It is so true that childhood experiences have significant influence in shaping a person's adult life. In my childhood years, when our father returned home from work, we went out for evening rides and listened to many stories and also sang songs. When he returned home from business trips, we would gather around him and listen to enchanting stories of his experiences; people he met, places he visited, funny things that happened and also of his business dealings. For him, all business relations were personal ones. He treated every person and his job with respect. When we showed him the our grades report, he would look at it and ask "Do you need any help or you feel OK?". No other sermon.

For him, being able to work with people was the most important thing for success. He also had his weaknesses and faults. So many of these childhood experiences of every kind have carried on with me in life. This reflection was planned for this Friday (November 16) sometime ago and I realized only an hour ago that it coincides with the 26th anniversary of his departure from this earth. 

Special thanks to Levi's and Paul for sharing this beautiful and meaningful song that has rekindled so many memories. 

 

Be the Energy you want to attract

 

Point to Ponder: Always keep in mind that the strongest factor of your Feng Shui is You. - Stefan Emunds

Story Line: This short story is an excellent example on mindfulness. - Sent by Sujat Shah from India.

Zhao Zi Hao's made it big in business so he spent money buying a piece of land in the suburbs and built a three-storey villa.

He had an impressive swimming pool in the garden with a hundred-year-old Lychee Tree in the backyard to boot. In fact, he bought the property precisely because of this tree. His wife loved eating lychees.

During renovations, his friends urged him to get guidance from a fengshui master, just to tread on the side of caution.

Zhao Zi Hao's never quite believed in Fengshui yet surprising he took the advice to heart and went out of his way to engage a feng shui master from Hong Kong. The Grand Master was non other than Master Cao who's been in the profession for thirty over years, renowned in the Fengshui circle. They had a meal in the city then Zhao Zi Hao drove the Master to the suburbs.

Along the way, when cars behind them tried to overtake, Zhao Zi Hao would simply give way.

The Master laughingly remarked: "Big Boss Zhao, your driving is really safe." He spoke really fluent mandarin for a Hongkie.

Zhao Zhi Hao laughed at the remark: “Usually people who need to overtake have some urgent matter to attend to, so we shouldn't hold them up.

Arriving at a small town the streets grew narrow and so Zhao Zi Hao slowed down.

A giggling child suddenly darted out from an alley and as the child ran across the street, Zao still didn't speed up. Instead, he kept his gaze on the alley, as if waiting for something. Out of the blue, another child darted out, chasing after the child ahead.

Master Zao was surprised and asked: “How did you know there'd be another child following suit?”

Zhao Zi Hao shrugged: “Well, kids are always chasing after each other so it's impossible for a child to be in such glee without a playmate.”

Master Cao gave him a big thumbs up and laughed out loud: “That's really considerate of you!”

Arriving at the Villa, they got down from the car. Suddenly about seven to eight birds flocked from the backyard. Seeing so, Zhao said to Master Cao: “ If you don't mind please wait here for a little while.”

“What's the matter?" Master Cao was taken aback.

"Oh, there's probably some kids stealing lychees in the backyard. If we walk in now we might give them a fright, let's not risk anyone falling off the old Lychee Tree." Zhao replied humorously.

Master Cao stayed silent for a while before stating matter-of-factly: “This home doesn't need a fengshui evaluation anymore.”

Now it's Zhao's turn to be shocked: “Why's that?”

“Any place graced with your presence naturally becomes the property with the most auspicious fengshui.”

When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too.

When a person is considerate of others at all times, then this person has unconsciously accomplished Buddhood.

The Buddha is in fact a person who through benefiting others becomes enlightened.

Have a mindful week ahead.

Reflection: Many people view Feng Shui as about things and good fortune but in reality it is about us and the energy we want to transmit. For Zhao Zi; his believes, thoughts and actions were in harmony and radiated positive energy in the universe. In life one gets what one puts out.

As Master Cao rightfully said " When our minds prioritize others’ peace and happiness, the one who benefits is not just others, but ourselves too."

Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink

 

 Point to Ponder: Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink. Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself It's later than you think.

Story Line: About 13 years ago, a vintage corvette pulled in the front of our home. A tall (6’2”) man with large shoulders slowly came out of the car and rang our doorbell. In a very soft and polite voice (totally disproportionate to his size), he introduced himself and informed us that he was told by our friend that we needed someone to keep our garden green. And thus began 10 years long wonderful association until he retired and returned home to American Samoa/Samoa in 2015.

I will be dishonest if I tell you that my reason for telecommuting on some Wednesdays was purely for the standard benefits of telecommuting. This gentleman had an amazing perspective on life and my wife and I enjoyed listening to his wisdom. Prior to gardening he was in transportation business, and by normal standards doing well. But those long hours and many days away from family took its toll. So one day he decided to leave the hectic life and started gardening business which gave him a lot of satisfaction and peace.

He would work calmly at his own pace. In between work, he will tell us stories of his younger days in Samoa; life by the ocean, daily interaction with friends and family members, fresh food and abundance of nature.  Once he told us about his large extended family reunion (1100+ but only 756 showed up) back home, his beautiful village by the ocean and enjoying life day by day. An hour with him was very therapeutic. (and it helped me work two extra hours a day).

So one day in 2015 when he informed us that he was retiring and returning home because his older brothers had passed away and he had to assume the responsibility of the extended family, we were very sad and also glad. Sad to loose someone who had become a good friend and a part of our life.

Reflection:

But we were also glad that we got to meet such a nice individual who taught us a lot about life and raised our curiosity about Samoa and the rest of Polynesia.

This was one of the main reasons for our recent 23 days trip to five Polynesian places. During this visit we met so many individuals whose perspective on life and indicators of success were similar to the friend who kept our garden green; living a slower pace of life, quality time with family, in harmony with nature, living in the moment. Future Friday Reflections will share stories of: An American man from Oklahoma who has lived in American Samoa for 40 years, a family who left Florida and lives on a small island in Tonga for over 15 years, a domestic airliner pilot in Tonga who gave up a lucrative job overseas to be with his 80 years old parents, a guy who left the glamour of Silicon Valley at 38 years age to return to his parents in Hawaii and many more such cases. Witnessing the life in Polynesia reminded us of: The Way We Were and also of a very memorable song from the past sung by Doris Day. "Enjoy Yourself" is a popular song published in 1949, with music written by Carl Sigman and lyrics by Herb Magidson.

Special Thanks to the reader Millan Trivedi for sending the video of this song.

When Rome was burning Nero was fiddling

 

Point to Ponder: Things That Matter Most Shouldn’t Be Put At the Mercy of Things That Matter Least.

Story Line: A few days ago, while talking to some old friends about our days in the corporate kingdom, the memories of some great kingdoms that are no longer in existence came up. There was a common theme to their demise; losing focus on the core things that keep business great (ex: Product, Service Excellence) and spending too much resources on sideline things (ex: Logos, External Org Awards, Slogans, Program of the Year, …… ). Listening to that, the memories of Nero, the last Roman Emperor of Julio-Claudian dynasty came to my mind.

Nero Claudius Caesar, the ruthless Emperor had a mad passion for music, art and sports. He notoriously ignored many essential needs for the country and focused his energy and attention on a crazy passion for music and art to make Rome great. He eliminated people who brought him in power, refused to follow sound advice from well-meaning people and purged the ones who did not align with his way of thinking.

There is a story that he was on the roof of his palace during The Great Fire of Rome, dressed in a theatrical costume singing the Greek epic “The Sack of Ilium.” Many citizens believed that the fire that destroyed most of Rome was started by Nero's orders to clear land for expanding his palace and scope up against it. Nero blamed senators for not controlling people and then deflected any negative attention by blaming a religious sect of Christian worshippers. He ordered brutal persecutions.

In addition, Nero exhausted the Roman treasury by rebuilding the city around his palace complex. Having solved none of the major problems of the country, he was declared Public Enemy #1 but committed suicide before the people could get to him.

Reflection: When I assumed the responsibility for an important supply chain organization, I asked my predecessor for some advice. One of the most important things he said was “Your No 1 job is to prevent supply problems to factories (main customers). If customers are happy, you will have a lot of time and support to do all kinds of other things for your people and organization. (even the types of things like music and dancing that Nero had asked of his senate).”

Following that advice made all the difference.

 

When Nero is confronted by the Senate. (Scene from another movie).

 

 

How Good is Your Title?

"My job title not only represents the scope of my assignment but most importantly it represents the enormous obligation I have to deliver great value to my stakeholders."   - Joe Z, my fourth boss, who went to become a very successful and respected executive 

Storyline:

How good is your title? Well it depends on what you do, as Joe said in the above quote.  What happens when the focus on your title becomes more important than the focus on the value you create?  Consider the following true story:

One Friday afternoon in the late 1970s, we were having a birthday celebration and some cake with our director, "SD". SD asked Ken and I, two recent college graduates, to join him in his office for a chat. He lit a cigar and started telling us different events from his life with every puff of smoke he took. In those days, there were no smoking regulations, and as new hires, we had no choice but to endure a lot of smoke!

He (SD) was 28 years old (puff), had a Ph.D. from a prestigious university by the time he was 24 (puff), he had already become a director at the age of 27 (puff), repeated thrice that he was a director (puff, puff, puff), had a house on the hills (puff, puff) and land in an affluent area ...

Just at that moment, his phone rang. It seemed to be from his boss. As soon as he hung up the phone, he told us "My boss (the General Manager) is calling an emergency meeting. I need to go."

As he was leaving his office door, he looked at us with a smirk and said, "You guys are lucky. You don't have Friday afternoon emergency meetings at your level."

That was the last time we saw SD. On Monday morning, we were summoned to our own emergency meeting by the General Manager and introduced to our new director.

Reflection:  As our meeting with the GM ended and we were leaving the room, Ken and I had learned one of the most important lessons at an early stage of our career: your title is as good as one phone call from the boss.  What matters is the value you deliver to stakeholders.

Repeat: This reflection was originally published on July 2008. Worth revisiting once in a while. Comments from the original posting included.