Friday Reflections

Leaders Can Come From Anywhere, at Any Age.

Happy Thanksgiving

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to Ponder:  “A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example.” --Joe DiMaggio

Storyline: On November 4, after eleven years playing Major League Baseball, San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey announced his retirement.  The news shocked fans -- Posey had just helped propel the Giants to their best season in history, and at only 34 still seemed to have more ahead of him.

From the moment Posey first stepped foot in the Giants clubhouse in 2009, he made an impression.  Sports broadcaster Mike Krukow recalled that Posey had a presence unlike any other rookie he’d seen, an “it factor” that left even his veteran teammates in awe and eager to impress him.  That energy helped reinvigorate an aging team of underestimated misfits, as Posey and the team led San Francisco to win its first championship in 2010 and two more in the span of five years.  He played every game with a focused determination, a drive to push the team forward that remained untouched by ego, and became a quiet leader to those around him, a person his teammates could rely on and an opinion they could trust.  Posey is perhaps nearly as famous for his “Buster Hugs,” a hallmark of nearly every major victory in these past 12 years and a testament to the strength of his relationship with each Giants pitcher, as he is for his playing.  As basketball player Steph Curry described it, “There’s always a feeling of somebody who represented one organization for his entire career and did it with class the entire time.”

Buster Posey’s final season feels like an encore, a last hurrah before the curtain falls and the lights go down.  He opted out of the 2020 season to spend time with his family and his newly-adopted twin daughters, and came back this year stronger than ever, the longest-tenured member on the team and a leader to a group of new up-and-comers.  It was not the first time he’d returned to the game after a hiatus, and perhaps one reason fans were so caught off-guard by Posey’s decision to retire was because they were so used to seeing him get back up again, fall after fall.  But playing one of baseball’s most physically-taxing positions takes its toll, and at the end of the day, Posey decided to place not only his family first, but his own well-being.

Former Giants pitcher Barry Zito said it best in a Twitter tribute to his old teammate:  “You have what most of us MLB players never did, true perspective.  You didn’t bow down & worship the game of baseball as if it were your God.  In the eyes of @SFGiants fans, you walked on water but to you, it was just a game you loved to play and that’s why you played it so well.  Perspective.  You cared about the game but didn’t let it define you the way we all did.  Whether you were winning one of your 3 World Series titles or in the middle of a career-worst slump you were the same Buster, focused, friendly and always professional.”

Reflection: It doesn’t take a seasoned veteran to make a leader.  At 23, Buster Posey was already setting an example for his team before he’d even played his first game.  For twelve years, his dedication, humility, and commitment to his teammates never wavered.  His priorities, too, remained unchanged -- while baseball was his livelihood, at the end of the day, at the peak of his career, he chose to step away and take care of himself and his family.  That, too, takes confidence.

Happy Thanksgiving, Buster.  We’re thankful for you and all you’ve given us, and we know your family is too.

(An additional thanks to my mother, a lifelong Giants fan whose input helped make this post possible, and to our readers around the world, for your continued support and contributions to discussion through the years.  From all of us at Friday Reflections, Happy Thanksgiving.)

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

Leaving Lasting Memories

Friends never say goodbye -- they simply say “See you again.”

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to Ponder: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” --Maya Angelou

Storyline: People leave their jobs for a myriad of reasons, whether they’ve found a better opportunity elsewhere, are dissatisfied with their current job, or are simply ready to move on to the next stage of their life.  There are many ways to say goodbye to your colleagues, whether with a goodbye, a hug, or an “I’ll miss you.”  But how can you tell someone how much they meant to you, and how important they were to your experience?

Whenever he left a job to pursue something new, Anand took a cue from his dad and wrote a personal letter to each of his colleagues, from close team members to suppliers, customers, and many others he’d developed relationships with during his time in the workplace.  In the days leading up to his final retirement, he went one step further, creating over 100 one-page PowerPoint collages with pictures, meaningful quotes, and email exchanges to capture the memories he had with each person (or the team) -- trips they’d taken, projects they’d worked on, triumphs they’d shared.  Even now, years later, he still encounters old colleagues at the farmer’s market or during an invitation to dinner and reminisces over the memories they shared.

If you’ve spent time at any organization -- a school, a club, a company -- you’ve likely made some friends and lasting memories.  Why not celebrate them?  Every ending is a chance to reflect, and like all things, reflecting and reminiscing are more fun when you share them with others.

Try also to leave on good terms with people, even if you didn’t always agree with them on certain issues.  You never know when your paths might cross again--and every disagreement was a learning experience you’ll carry with you in the next stage of your life.

(Pictured below are two collages, one made for my dad and one for the team in Malaysia.  Each collage featured three components: work-related memories, such as the graph at right; personal quotes and messages, in the bottom right and middle; and photos of memorable moments.)

Reflection: When I think of lasting memories, I think of high school, the smell of uncapped Sharpies permeating the air, ink staining fingertips as people scribble notes--hasty or heartfelt--in each other’s yearbooks.  Yearbook signatures are like miniature time capsules of your relationship with a person.  We’ve all written “HAGS” (have a great summer) in the yearbook pages of people we didn’t know well.  But the notes we look back on are the stories -- the inside jokes from English class, the impromptu late-night trips to Trader Joe’s, the hours you spent with people at track practice or rehearsals for Seussical or working on the school newspaper, long after everyone else had gone home.

My final goodbye to high school was an Instagram account I ran with my best friend where we posted memes (Internet jokes) based on classic literature.  It was a fun way to spend the last few months of high school and pay tribute to our English classes (and our English teachers, who we still love dearly), and even though neither of us have the time to update it anymore, it’s fun to look back on some of the memories we captured and the reactions from our classmates.  One post I always return to is a series of memes I made about our graduation ceremony, an event that was as chaotic and unintentionally hilarious as it was emotional.  For all the difficulties many of my classmates and I experienced during those formative years, we could always get through it with humor and heart -- and I know that for all the grievances I’ve had with my university, when the time comes to say goodbye, I’ll look back on my time here fondly.

Final thoughts:

Entering your third year of college after spending a third of your undergraduate career on Zoom is a strange experience.  Many of my peers and I still feel like second years, barely acquainted with this brave new world of experimentation and possibility yet already being asked to contemplate our next steps.

We tend to think of college as a final destination, the culmination of thirteen long years of hard work, but it’s really a transitional space.  I think that’s true of a lot of stages in our lives: the end of one journey is the beginning of another, and there’s always a weird in-between to negotiate.  There’s a time for looking back, reflecting on where you’ve been and what you’ve learned, but eventually you must move forward, to go new places and learn new things.  Whether you’re a high school freshman or a senior in college, a newcomer to the workforce or a soon-to-be retiree, I think this advice will help all of us navigate two of the most significant times in your life -- the bookends of adulthood.

 

(Thank you all for your kind words on my previous post -- I’m glad I was able to make a good first impression.)

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

You Don’t Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

By Phoebe Pineda

Point to ponder: “Two things remain irretrievable: time and a first impression.” --Cynthia Ozick

Author’s note: Anand and I met at a Kid-to-Work Day nearly two decades ago.  He was my dad’s boss, and when he wasn’t letting me doodle on his whiteboard while he and my dad talked shop, we were having conversations about books I’d read, or trips he’d taken.  Anand and I bonded over a shared love of stories, but where my knowledge came mostly from books, his came from years of experience -- talking to people, traveling the world, making mistakes.

My dad incorporated Friday Reflections into our nightly reading routine, which I admired then for its mixture of fun anecdotes from history and life and admire now for the lessons imbued in each chapter.  Years after those initial bedtime readings, Anand enlisted me to help him bring more of these reflections to life.  In our own reenactment of Tuesdays with Morrie, we meet once a week on Zoom, where he tells me a story and I shape it, much like a gardener pruning a tree.  We approach each conversation from two very different stages in life, one of us looking forward, the other looking back.

In the life cycle of every experience at an organization -- be it school, the workplace, or even a club or Scouting troop -- there are two important endpoints: the time you join, and the time you leave.  Today I’ll be sharing Anand’s thoughts on first impressions, and how to make them count.

Storyline: Early in his career, Anand was sent overseas to manage product engineering and quality operations in Manila.  Despite being technically competent, he lacked the maturity to interact with management -- he knew all the written rules, but not the unwritten ones.

As Anand completed his assignment, a more experienced colleague named Vic provided him with some advice for making a good first impression: When you join a new group or organization, don’t start making big changes right away.  Take the time to observe and get to know your environment -- you’re a newcomer, in an ecosystem with its own way of functioning.  Really gain an understanding of the culture and the relationships between people: who works with who?  What is most important to the organization, particularly to those in charge?  Just as you need to understand the geography of the landscape in order to build a road, you need to understand how your organization works in order to get things done.

By observing his environment, Anand discovered more crucial aspects of making first impressions.  First, don’t talk too much about your past job or previous company -- that’s history.  Success in a new environment depends on being able to adapt to that environment.  Instead of fixating on your previous experiences, spend more time getting to know the people you’ll be working with.  Ask them about what they do, what their priorities are, what excites them -- they’ll know that you’re present and interested in them.

Once you’ve gotten a sense of how the group works, you can start to bring in suggestions from what you’ve learned from previous experiences if you observe any areas that could use improvement, without bringing up the name of your previous organization -- but don’t try to force them.

These lessons became very important to Anand throughout his career.

Reflection: All of us have entered a new environment -- college, the workforce, a club or organization.  Adjusting can be difficult, especially when you’re the sole newcomer in a sea of experienced people who all know each other and have certain habits and routines.  But if you observe and pay attention, like a scientist studying an animal habitat, you can learn something new.

If you transfer to a new university for creative writing, but all you do is compare it to the writing program at your old school, people will wonder why you left in the first place.  Instead, get to know the faculty and your classmates--what drew them to the program, what genres and topics they write, what they’ve learned and what they still want to know.  You don’t have to abandon your old ways entirely, but learning the new ways will make your experience much easier.

Next week, we’ll discuss the importance of leaving lasting memories.

Originally from the SF Bay Area, Phoebe Pineda currently studies Writing and Literature at the University of California Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies.  In addition to storytelling, she enjoys sunset-watching, road trips, and making art.

Recognize yourself in he and she who are not like you and me.*

Points to Ponder: Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. - M. Scott Peck

Story Line: This week, there were celebrations of two different festivals in many parts of the world; Halloween and Diwali.

That brought back memories of the rare occurrence that happened in the year 2005. I was on an assignment in Penang, Malaysia. During the span of five days, Malaysians celebrated Halloween, Diwali (Hindu Festival of Lights) and Hari Raya (Muslim day of celebration at the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting). It was fun to see celebrations, the integration of cultures, and harmony between people.

This type of alignment between Western, Islamic and Vedic calendars that brought these three events in a week has happened only once in this century and rarely if ever before. It was a 3:1 feast in experiencing richness of Diversity for me.

Reflection: Throughout my work assignments and travels over the last fifty years I have been fortunate to have met and made close friends from many countries, cultures and religious backgrounds. Many dialogues and interactions between our families plus staying in different countries have enriched me with understanding and appreciation of different customs and practices. There are so many similarities between people once we get to know them. We also learn from the differences in beliefs and practices that have developed because of historical and cultural events.

Just to share one example: annual fasting during certain religious festivals and asking for forgiveness from other people on the last day of festival are common practices in Jainism and Judaism. Most cultures have the message of “The Golden Rule” in their scriptures. This message of kindness and compassion is a common belief that connects many cultures across the globe.

For today I will end this reflection with a beautiful wall hanging I saw in Gandhi Ashram, Ahmedabad, during our visit in 2004. Even though it only mentions two faiths, The message in there is deep and universal.

 

 

*Quote from Carlos Fuentes