Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption
Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:
In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s. Here is her story:
She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.
During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*
Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.
Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.
Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself. She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.
Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”
“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”
Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time. She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”
This story was originally published in November 2008. Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.
As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.”
Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was incorporated in my work and personal life.
Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:
"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do' is a quote by Robert H. Schuller
Readers comments in 2008 Publication:
I have tears rolling down my eyes. I thought I have problems; not any more.
thanks for continued weekly inspirational
Posted by: Marissa | November 13, 2008 at 09:23 PM
A friend from Shanghai
Thank you for sharing – which is meaningful in such environment. Take care! Rgds, from Shanghai
Posted by: A friend from Shanghai | November 13, 2008 at 09:34 PM
Issac
hard to imagine for normal person that this could happen to a person. yes, it happens in my part of the world for many people. right, Hope for better tomorrow is what keep us look at the future.
Posted by: Issac | November 13, 2008 at 09:54 PM
Jai Patel
Every successful person has a painful story. Every painful story has a successful ending.
Posted by: Jai Patel | November 13, 2008 at 10:03 PM
A friend From Taipei
Thank you for your kindness to share all the wisdom & encouragement to us all the times. Every week, I became a habit to look forward to receive your sharing information but never express my appreciation to you.
Today I would like to express my sincere appreciation to you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you! From Taipei
Rgds
Posted by: A friend From Taipei | November 13, 2008 at 10:13 PM
Ian
Nice and inspiring story of Lola Happy Weekend Rgds, Ian
Posted by: Ian | November 14, 2008 at 03:32 AM
Teo
One of my friend told me this week about a note from his father ..
Secret of living happily : “Always hope for the best and be prepared for the worst …. “
This actually true to me … before I decided to date my first girl friend , I asked myself if I could accept if both of us separated later. Upon conforming of my readiness for the worst case … then the charm of love begins … and the girl friend is eventually my lovely wife now
Posted by: Teo | November 14, 2008 at 03:47 AM
Alka
that was a real nice one..i have met Lola only once but she has left the impression in my mind of one who has great strength and belief in her soul that sometimes baffles even God...it is wonderful to have met her and hope she visits us in Mumbai soon
Posted by: Alka | November 14, 2008 at 04:05 AM
Sharvary
This brought tears to my eyes. All I can say is My Salute to "LOLA". It is inexplicable what I feel after reading this story which I narrated to my daughter Natasha.
HOPE is the only endurance in life and this certainly teaches you that.
Friday Reflections are wonderful readings. It has certainly enriched my life in so many ways.
Sharvary
Posted by: Sharvary | November 14, 2008 at 04:20 AM
Lan
Thanks for sharing. In these days, I am stuggling about a decision and now I know what I should do. Thanks~
Posted by: Lan | November 14, 2008 at 07:19 AM
Anh
Many Vietnamese have similar stories of personal tragedy, most because of War. But we have to keep going on. Life is too short.
Posted by: Anh | November 14, 2008 at 07:52 AM
Peng
Hi Anand- thanks for the sharing of yr family member. I feel very touched & inspired by this.
Hv a great weekend.
Rgds, pp
Posted by: Peng | November 14, 2008 at 01:11 PM
Kyle Thompson
This story really makes you think. Mrs. Lola had economic problems, faced War atrocities, and experienced personal tragedies of unimaginable magnitude.
Recent world problems and earnings scale down are minor compared to what she encountered. Her life is indeed an inspiration.
Posted by: Kyle Thompson | November 14, 2008 at 01:15 PM
Josephine
Why company and government not care for people when economy go down? company bosses get bonus for good time so why not pay back when the company loose money. Why worker always go to pain? Poor people have little money in good time and no money in bad time. Company Bosses have money all the time. Not fair.
US system has some big problem. Josephine from China
Posted by: Josephine | November 15, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Ricky
Thanks for the story in this stressful moment.
Let’s trust tomorrow will be better and spend our best effort on it.
Regards, Rick (Nanjing, China)
Posted by: Ricky | November 16, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Desai
BTW, great inspirational story about hope – especially in current environment. Just curious, is this a personal story (your mother in-law?). BTW, I have similar story about my Grandmother (I can share with you when we meet) who had great influence on raising me as her 1st grandson who died 6 years ago. Same as what in your story line, she always told us not to give up the hope. “hope and dreams are the most important in life, and specially during ruff time to keep you going and prepare you when good time returns, and it always does.
Posted by: Desai | November 18, 2008 at 02:37 PM
SH
I am touched by the story of Lola. Yes, HOPE is the driving force just like the 3 candles, the one that keeps on burning... Lola has the will to face adversity as she thinks that one day things will be better..
Posted by: SH | November 20, 2008 at 09:30 PM
Posted by: Readers 2008 comments (FR Team) | May 05, 2021 at 02:15 PM
This is beautiful and fitting of Lola. She fought all the way to the end. I will miss her and know she has finally found peace.
Posted by: RJGO | May 05, 2011 at 10:21 PM
Mike Goodner
Hearing Lola's story and knowing of her battle and her strong will has been inspiring. Those who knew her well and close to her have indeed been fortunately people. I'm glad she has found rest, although the world will be dimmer without her.
Posted by: Mike Goodner | May 06, 2011 at 07:21 AM
ash
She lived a beautiful life and will never be forgotten
Posted by: ash | May 06, 2011 at 08:04 AM
California Guy
I hope that Lola's soul will now find eternal rest and peace. However, for some reason, I can imagine Lola waking up in a different universe (Rocky getting up from the mat) to tackle that next challenge in the hope that today will be better than yesterday. All who crossed paths with Lola are eternally blessed.
Posted by: California Guy | May 06, 2011 at 08:22 AM
microCEO
RIP to Lola and my condolences to her family.
I am in no way a bible thumper, but this story reminds me of the old testament book of Job, in which the character of Job is subject to various difficulties and sufferings as an apparent test of his character. In the inability to explain why a just creator could subject us to suffering and injustice (as we perceive it), I think perhaps the poem is implying that our world is infused with a certain element of randomness and chance. Misfortune (Leviathan) and Disasters (Behemoth) are apparently things that we have to deal with throughout our lives, and we should not take these as an excuse to give up or lose hope. Well, easier said than done...I can only bow in reverence to the patience and positive thinking of people like Lola.
Posted by: microCEO | May 06, 2011 at 04:29 PM
Posted by: Readers 2011 comments (FR Team) | May 05, 2021 at 02:16 PM
Great rememberence of a life/soul who lived her time on earth being grateful for what she had and never being in despair or asking Why me? She knew very well that living a life of sadness would make waste for the life that she had. She spent her energy instead to take care of the family. Through that act and your sharing here, lots of people would be inspired to overcome their potentially smaller challenges.
Posted by: Sam | May 05, 2021 at 03:41 PM
It’s been 10 years since her passing! Wow….and yet her story and message of hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come is just as or even more powerful in today’s environment. Thanks 🙏🏼 for sharing and remembering her
Posted by: UD | May 05, 2021 at 04:34 PM
In life, there are so much uncertainty that belongs to our circle of concern ... our mind is the one most important aspect that in our circle on influence ...
Posted by: Pulao Penang | May 05, 2021 at 04:36 PM
She lives on forever in our hearts ❤️
Posted by: Ash | May 05, 2021 at 04:39 PM
Anand, thanks for this beautiful story. Lola is a remarkable woman!
Posted by: Mina | May 05, 2021 at 04:44 PM
Amazing story of perseverance.
Posted by: George | May 05, 2021 at 04:45 PM
Amazing and very remarkable story! A true inspiration. 👌👍
Posted by: Childhood Friend | May 05, 2021 at 04:56 PM
Since many of the comments is about hope here is a little passage from the Bible. In Acts 24:15 it says “And I have hope toward God, which hope these men also look forward to, that there is going to be resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteousness!” That is my hope someday when God resurrects Lola and other members of the family to live an everlasting life here on earth! That is including all of you friends who are hoping that one day everything will be alright in God’s time and his own will!
Posted by: Missing Mom! | May 05, 2021 at 05:42 PM
This is very inspirational. She was braved and yes, lots of hope regardless of all the obstacles/tribulations she had. I believe and please correct me, I met her too when you visited. I was with my mom at that time..
Posted by: Cebuana | May 05, 2021 at 05:58 PM
Inspiring story, thank you for sharing. Was she related to you ?
Posted by: SJ | May 05, 2021 at 06:04 PM
Anand very touching life of Mrs Lola .today of is 10 Th Anneversery I pray to God to give a peace to her soul🙏🏻
Posted by: Shardamandir Friend. | May 05, 2021 at 06:45 PM
Very beautiful story about Lola
Posted by: New Light ( in the neighborhood) | May 05, 2021 at 06:51 PM
The message about ….. “hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come” …. Thanks 🙏🏼
Posted by: Inspired | May 05, 2021 at 06:51 PM
Coincidently I show a timely reminder of the message in the story for me. The message about ….. “hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come” …. Thanks 🙏🏼
Posted by: A Friend and Former Colleague | May 05, 2021 at 09:26 PM
I have nothing but respect, awe, and wonder for all the integrity, resilience, strength, courage, and patience that Mrs.Lim was constituted of and made evident.
Thank you for this wonderfully inspiring and reassuring narration of such a grand lady.🙏
Posted by: sujat | May 05, 2021 at 10:15 PM
I met her at their store,in the early 70s. Bfr the fire.she was a strong,practical,kind woman. Like my mom, lots of sad,but feisty wartime stories to pass dwn to us n to our children..to kp hope alive,but be alert for every opportunities that comes along to have a better life..
My mom used to tell me her story. Her father owned a big grocery in San Pablo, laguna. He used most of his earnings to helped his relatives from china to the Phils. a fire destroyed the grocery,wt no insurances, they wr left penniless.soon her father died from grief n illness. After that her mom became a laundry woman to feed her 4 kids,my mom was 4 then, the youngest was only 1 yr old. Nobody,not even the relatives her father helped to come to the Phils help them. Her eldest sibling,a sister,married early at 15 to a 31 yr old widower,to avoid rape by the japanese soldiers.she had a sad,but long married life. My mom was about 12 yrs old wn she went all by herself wt other women to Mla,to buy things from Mla to sell in their province. Its a 4 hrs or more back n forth trip from province to mla n back to the province. She said she had to be brave n help her mother,cz she have 2 younger bros.to feed n take care. She joined a local beauty contest in san pablo in her late teens n WON! after that she went to mla to find work as a cashier in a well knowbed Chinese restaurant.There she met my father, one of the part owners son..n the rest is history. My mom n dad bickered like kids, but nothing serious, more on the funny side.. my father was a hardworking,sweet guy. Everytime he's home from his job vacations from the lumber in the province, he helped in house chores, n repairs. I missed my father n mom so much..but then ,am goin to be 61 this year..n so it wl be less than 15 or maybe 20 yrs n then I wl be wt them. Wt all these problems n the pandemic , am keeping a strong faith n hope so my kids will Hv a positive, stronger faith too. Evelyn
Posted by: Evelyn | May 06, 2021 at 08:26 AM
Anand this story touched my heart and soul. Especially tangled with the word "Lola". I am so proud to be a Filipino because I myself have gone through some hardships and never gave up. At times especially when .....I thought the world is closing and that every dream that I tried to achieve will never happen and I was wrong. I'm now feeling that I'm zdx o lucky to have a life that's full of laughter and joy. I'm happy that I'm a Lola to my grandkids . My loving husband is always so supportive in whatever i do. Now that I'm retired i pursued a lot of home projects and feels very blessed that I'm able to make a difference. Life is short and I would like to enjoy everything that life has to offer.
Thank you Anand for sharing and look forward to reading more from your "Reflections"
Posted by: Pinoy friend | May 06, 2021 at 09:49 AM
Heart wrenching and endearing.
Posted by: Milan | May 06, 2021 at 12:48 PM
A superb reminder in present unprecedented times!!
Posted by: ST- | May 06, 2021 at 01:10 PM
Oh my goodness... Where's my tissue... Thank you for inspiring my Lola!!!!!!
Tremendous will, abundant hope
Posted by: Humble Warrior | May 06, 2021 at 09:21 PM
Remarkable story indeed !
Posted by: An | May 06, 2021 at 09:55 PM
Makes me cry. Inspiring and filled with hope. May Lola/Mrs. Liam’s beautiful memory always be for a blessing. ThNk you for sharing this Anand. ❤️
Posted by: FR Denise | May 06, 2021 at 09:56 PM
Oh I love this. In all honesty I really admire this woman. I can't forget how she managed to keep her modest home immaculately clean and tidy in spite of never ending chores. Seems so ordinary but it has a lasting effect in me💕
Posted by: Aida | May 07, 2021 at 05:58 AM
Too good. She was really courageous. Never lost hope. But her story is sad. Her two sons, her husband all died and she was left with the responsibility for whole life. Hats off to her. She never lost hope for better days. This gives inspiration to us to fight with odds in the life
Posted by: Classmate since KG (NN) | May 07, 2021 at 07:24 AM
Interestingly, the opening of your FR 10 years ago is still valid as of current situation, global health challenges, political and economical conflicts ....
Posted by: KFC | May 08, 2021 at 07:53 AM
Thanks Anand for sharing. Reminded me of the book The Alchemist. Always have dreams and hopes. We will reach there one day.
Posted by: KFC | May 08, 2021 at 07:53 AM