Penfriends - Half a Century Later

Points to Ponder: “The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?" -Pablo Casals (Spanish Cellist, Wrote music for UN Anthem for world peace, 1963 Presidential Medal of Freedom; b.1876-1973)

Story Line: On September 24, 1970, I saw an envelope in the mail box. It had exotic stamps on it that said Philippines, a place I had not heard of. It was from Luisa Go in Manila who had gotten my address from her best friend who was my cousin’s penfriend. I already had twelve penfriends in various countries but decided to make one more friend for the reasons mentioned in the Reflection section.

During childhood, Luisa had a fascination with Indian culture and people. I found out later that on the way home from high school, she would walk down a street full of shops owned by Indians who lived in Philippines. Filipinos called them “Bombay”. When she would reach home, her mother would tease her “Did you see your Bombay today?”

In 1969 she saw an American movie Maya which was about two teenage boys and Elephant in the jungles of India. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(1966_film)). One of them was an American actor (Jay North) and the other was an Indian actor (Sajid Khan). She became a big fan of Sajid Khan. So when she learned that her best friend had a pen friend in India she asked her to find her one through her Indian penfriend. --and She became my 13th penfriend. 

That is how it all began fifty years ago. The rest of the story is in the reflection section that was shared on our 40th wedding anniversary two years ago. 

Reflection:  The Spy Who Loved Me During my years in elementary school, I developed an interest in collecting stamps. I heard that our neighbor was getting letters from Germany so every other week I would go to his window to check if he had received any letters, and ask if he had some stamps for me. After returning from one summer vacation, and expecting a ton of stamps, I went to his place only to find the windows shut. After a few more days with closed windows, I knocked on the main door of the house. The lady who was renting the room to him informed me that he had moved to Germany. Upon further investigation I found out that his “Penfriend” had come and they had gotten married and moved to Germany*. That was my first exposure to English word,"Penfriend.”

That experience added to my hobby of stamp collecting and I wanted to know more about other countries while improving my English. By the summer of 1970, I had Penfriends in twelve different countries.

So when my cousin Yogini informed me that she had given my address to a girl in Philippines who was looking for a friend in India, I was not very enthusiastic. All the other Penfriends I had selected were from countries where I could correctly pronounce the name. I had never heard about the country named “Fili Pines**”. Plus she was going to be No. 13. I also thought about having no more money to buy stamps to send letters. My cousin was persistent and informed me that the person she was recommending is the best friend of her penfriend Helen Tan in Philippines and I would be very happy. She also showed me the stamps from Fili Pines which were very attractive.

On September 24, 1970 I received the first letter from Luisa Go. The casual writing style, handwriting and the brief introduction was very appealing. And the stamps were beautiful. The only thing that seemed strange was she had used the word Penpal instead of Penfriend. But I accepted the new label considering that one purpose of having friends around the world was to learn new things.

Things started out well until in one of her subsequent letters, she mentioned that she had a Chinese heritage. Her father was born in China and had migrated to Philippines at an early age and her mother was half Chinese and half Filipino. The word “Chinese” raised a Red Flag on my side. In the early 60s India and China had a border war and after that the relationships between two countries were strained. When some people found out she was “Chinese” they gave me cautionary advice; be careful, Chinese are very smart and they might be trying to get a spy through Fili Pines. After some discussion with my parents about this I decided to take a chance and keep writing letters.

Over next five years, we exchanged many letters, stamps and sometimes coins as Bonus. She had great sense of humor and shared very interesting stories about places, movies and various things written on variety of papers in a very likeable style.

In 1974 I moved to California. After a string of coincidences, On August 2, 1978, I ended up in Philippines to meet her. Since we never thought we would ever meet in person, we had told each other enough secrets about ourselves leaving no need for confessions. So in my second visit there in September of the same year, we got engaged. During my third visit there on December 19, 1978, we exchanged vows “I Do” in front of the judge in Manila City Hall.

Reflection: The last forty years have enriched us with the great understanding of each other; for me, richness and diversity of Chinese and Filipino people; and for her, fascinating history and heritage of India and its people.

In August 1978, when I came out of the door of Manila International Airport for the first time, I saw two girls waiting outside. Instantly I recognized my Penpal. The very first thought that came to my mind was “Do I want to be with her for the rest of my life?” and my heart said “Yes”.
And Yes, through the years there have been some border conflicts (aka disagreements, dialogues), some intense, but not once over anything related to our countries, cultures or religions. Just excursions we would have had in any relationship even if the person was from our own culture. One ancient rule of warfare has been followed: Ceasefire before dark (and a goodnight hug).

In 14 years of Friday Reflections being in a public domain, I have never shared such very personal story. Thank You for allowing me to do so on the significant milestone in our journey; 40 years.

I will end with the words from a very first valentine card from my new life partner and former penpal (Year 1979.)

“You are life’s most precious gift to me, for the reasons even I can’t explain. I love you more and more every day.”

*in late 1980s we were able to track down that neighbor through common association. JayKrishna and Giesla came by our place during their visit to USA.

**We pronounced Philippines as Fili Pines in early days.

 

Comments

[Comments from Past reflection on this topic (posted by FR team)]

Thank you for sharing!

Posted by: Lopeti Senituli | December 19, 2018 at 08:13 PM

CH
Wow!!! So romantic...! Story from the heart is always the most beautiful one.

Posted by: CH | December 19, 2018 at 09:45 PM

Prasad Vepa
Thank you Anand, for sharing your very beautiful story of love. Congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary! May your and Luisa’s married lives always be filled with love, understanding, peace and joy!

Posted by: Prasad Vepa | December 19, 2018 at 09:53 PM

The one who was next to your penpal at MNL airport
A "W😊W" love story...

Posted by: The one who was next to your penpal at MNL airport | December 19, 2018 at 10:22 PM

Ryan
Happy Holidays Anand – Fantastic story!

Posted by: Ryan | December 19, 2018 at 10:43 PM

Ian
very lovely story that can be a plot in hollywood movies

Posted by: Ian | December 20, 2018 at 12:13 AM

Frankly Speaking

“One ancient rule of warfare has been followed: Ceasefire before dark (and a goodnight hug).”
Technically what must have followed is called Sleeping with the enemy. 😀

Posted by: Frankly Speaking | December 20, 2018 at 12:24 AM

sujat
Beautiful & inspiring! We all here at Friday Reflections feel honoured for your sharing such a personal account of your life with us.

I cannot help but mention again - wonderful!

(Ur story sends a tingling sensation up my spine to the top of the head.)

Posted by: sujat | December 20, 2018 at 02:29 AM

Ken Yee
Anand - a beautiful story of a loving couple. May you and Luisa experience a continued lifetime of happiness.

Posted by: Ken Yee | December 20, 2018 at 04:47 AM

Arlene (received in mail. Posted by FR team)
What a beautiful, beautiful story! There is a certain magic in letter writing as one puts more effort in expressing their thoughts and the magic of the pen sometimes makes one willing to share honest ideas.

Posted by: Arlene (received in mail. Posted by FR team) | December 20, 2018 at 08:01 AM

Chris Flores
Naks! Matindi ang story mo Anand. 😊

Posted by: Chris Flores | December 20, 2018 at 08:02 AM

Sharvary
A very happy Anniversary to you both. You have an enriched life because of your partner and we are lucky to hear lovely experiences of your life. All the best for coming years and wonderful Xmas

Must be so wonderful to meet your German neighbor after so many years

Posted by: Sharvary | December 20, 2018 at 09:28 AM

Hedda Robinson
Very nice and sweet. Happy 40th Anniversary.

Posted by: Hedda Robinson | December 20, 2018 at 10:30 AM

FE-Philippines
What a love story! Congratulations on your 40th anniversary, Anand! May God continue to bless your marriage and family. 🙏

By the way, I also collected stamps when I was young. And had penpals too, not as many as yours though. 😄

Posted by: FE-Philippines | December 20, 2018 at 11:46 AM

Humble Warrior
Whew... well it's getting kind of misty in here or something, my eyes are watery... I love your love story... I also love this photo, where is it from?... Well done spies, well done

Posted by: Humble Warrior | December 20, 2018 at 03:06 PM

ana
so beautiful :) thank you for being an inspiration to us Anand. Cheers to many more happiness together.

Posted by: ana | December 20, 2018 at 04:13 PM

anand
To Humble Warrior
The photo is from Tongatapu island in Tonga. May 3,2018.
As you must have noticed the photo was taken after sunset when darkness had set in; the time for Ceasefire. (:)

Posted by: anand | December 20, 2018 at 04:49 PM

Kazuko Inaba
That is a Beautiful story; Congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary!

Posted by: Kazuko Inaba | December 20, 2018 at 04:52 PM

Krishnan
A truly uplifting real-life story that pre-dates Facebook encounters, and is a testament to honesty, persistence and commitment ! Best wishes for continued joy !

Posted by: Krishnan | December 20, 2018 at 06:41 PM

Levi's
Do you know the wonderful song called "Do you love me?" from the Broadway show, "Fiddler on the Roof"? The song reminds me of your happy marriage. Happy Anniversary Anand and Luisa! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onrtcJ6n1Ng
Posted by: Levi's | December 21, 2018 at 07:14 AM

Peng Peng
Thank you for sharing. Happy 40th anniversary.

Posted by: Peng Peng | December 21, 2018 at 10:47 AM

Angela
Thank you very much for your sharing. It was a very nice love story. Wishing you a happy life forever!

Posted by: Angela | December 21, 2018 at 10:48 AM

Seema
Thanks for sharing your lovely Love story with your beautiful wife Louisa...God Bless both of you

Posted by: Seema | December 21, 2018 at 09:51 PM

Basant
Hearty congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary!
I enjoyed your real life story very much. A global romance, it was fascinating! And the best advice for all married people was 'a cease fire before nightfall'!

Posted by: Basant | December 22, 2018 at 10:02 AM

Santosh joshi
A beautiful love story and a match made in heaven . Stay blessed

Posted by: Santosh joshi | December 24, 2018 at 11:44 AM

Janis Sachtjen
Lovely story, with a very happy message. Congratulations on 40 wonderful years.

Posted by: Janis Sachtjen | December 25, 2018 at 08:43 PM

Madhuri
A lovely Love story Anand and Luisa!
" ceasefire before dark..." So simple and yet so profound.
Wish you a wonderful new year, and another 40 years of life together.

Posted by: Madhuri | December 28, 2018 at 01:30 PM

Amy
First I knew very well the story but I have a dispute on your storyline. My oldest sister (yes you’re own very wife) is funny? Hahaha!!!!! Honestly, I really like your story and even the whole word have turn their back on you and my dear sister(you know who I was referring to) one thing will never be forgotten! I got a chance to live the life here in the United States and because of her I have a permanent job. Remember, the company that I work for originally wants her because I do not have work experience yet (because I was a newbie in this country). Thanks to her for that, I am forever grateful! Love, Amy

Posted by: Amy | December 19, 2019 at 01:05 PM

Amy
And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Posted by: Amy | December 19, 2019 at 01:07 PM

Neerja
How simply and beautifully put....from the heart! And I remember all those times having been a miniscule part of it just like that of a bystander!!
Wishing you both a super Wedding Anniversary and many many more to come😃

Posted by: Neerja | December 19, 2019 at 07:28 PM

[Aida]

Your narration is more detailed and I should say romantic.
From her it's simply started from you being her penfriend/pal.
Nevertheless yours is such an inspiring love story. So happy for both of you. After all so many years you're happily together. Wishing you more love, peace and happiness.❤❤❤

[Linda Simpson]

A heart warming account of love and marriage. Super photographs of your romantic journey from beginning of your relationship to a close knit extended family.

[John McMahon]

Great and touching story Anand !

[Neerja]

Beautiful and I remember chunks of it. You had visited Delhi during one trip

[Tino Friscic]

Beautiful story, dear Anand 😊 Immediately threw me back to your car where you were telling Stella and me parts of this story, as well as the interesting story of Silicon Valley.
It's nice to have such a wise and kind person as you for a friend...say hi to lovely Luisa 😍 I wish you many more years of happiness, harmony and love

[Lim Chiew Boey]

😍😍😘😘my pleasure and honour to learn your life and love stories.

[Amy]

A very heart warming story between two people with different cultures and backgrounds. Like Forrest Gump said in the movie My Mama always said, Life is like a box of “assorted” chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!!!! I added the word “assorted” because in our life there are ups and downs, sadness and joy, expected and unexpected journeys! Life is full of surprises!!!!!

[Denise]

You story with Luisa is one of the most beautiful. And now I know...first time you met was on a very lucky day. August 2nd, my mom’s birthday.
Send g you both anniversary love.

[Sharad Mehta]

Anand, you can articulate your life experiences very nicely. Thoroughly enjoyed your journey. I remembered your stamp collection hobby in the school days, but did not know about pen-pals.

[Alka]

Two lovely souls made for each other 💕

[Vikram]

I always like reading your Friday reflections and found this one particularly inspiring. Even though I knew the broad story, I did not know the details. Thank you for sharing, uncle!

[Roger Quadra]

Eow documented Love story

[Humble warrior]

So romantic!!! And that photo of you putting a ring on it!!! Yesssss love it!!!

[Mina]

Thank you for sharing this very romantic story of you and Luisa! Beautiful, enriching, a lifetime of shared experiences and the joy of children and grandchildren.

[Milan Trivedi]

I bear witness to your wonderful love story and all the hurdles you’ve had to cross... wishing the both of you happy Togetherness and stay blessed always.😘😘

[P & P Patel]

👍🏽so that is how it all started.

[Pinoy Friend]

Lucky 13! 😊 i heard about penfriends or pen pals during my high school years but internet changed the game. My time was about “textmate”. 😊

[Tony Mangente]

You can compile and create a book for your friday reflections. Awesome.

[Rajan]

Great to know abt yr love story with penpal.. 👌🏼👍🏻 and 💐 for Luisa..

[Fred]

I enjoyed your personal story in today's Reflection. What a great love story.

[Helen Tan Sytiong]

Love it. Your memory is so good ❤️

[Chaula Choksi Joshi]

I always admire your stories, how two met. I remember that very much today also.

[SPP-Penang Friend.]

Great love story....1974 the year I am born. Dec 19th- the day after my birthday ....

[Flor]

Wow, what a beautiful love story! ❤️ Thanks for sharing it, Anand! 😊

[Gloria and Willy]

That’s very good what you are doing Anand! Gloria and I we’re writing letters almost a year! And save that letter...
What you have is like a movie hehe...
Godbless!

[Anita Joshi Vaidya]

Now I know the rest of the story! Interesting journey!!

[Note from Prasadbhai]

Congratulations to both of you on the 50th anniversary of a milestone moment of love - the receipt of the first letter from Luisa to you that ignited your friendship, paving the way for lifelong partnership. Your heart-warming and touching story is very inspiring indeed. A great example of the very definition of true love - a friendship that caught fire! I know that both of you have the innate quality of unfailingly putting the other ahead of yourself. So, your love will only grow stronger by the day and endure for life. Your children and grandchildren are a beautiful testament of your loving, marriage. May the best years and moments filled with love always lie ahead of you. Prasad

[Elizabeth Wu]

Indeed
Precious Moment to Remember😍

[Evelyn Tan ( the one who accompanied your penpal at the airport)]

Js a thought...u think your son can make a short, computerized cartoon movie of this "Fascinating Friendship Turned L💕ve story...?🤗
So we can All be present in this Friendship/Love Saga...🌿
In 1978! Luisa's only 24, Helen's 22, n me at 18...n that's a long,long time ago..but I still remembered the jittery n excitement of that day in the airport...Am so happy she's goin to meet U at last..!

[Emmie Fa]

What a great story and what a beautifully worded re-telling. Congratulations to both of you on the many years of love you have shared up until now, and wishing you many more of the same. Or better!

[Bonnie]

Thank you for sharing this story, a friendship of words turned into an enduring love. Heart warming.

[Pinakin]

Fantastic real story. 👌