Friday Reflections

Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.

 

Points to Ponder: I was concerned about going out in the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself!

Story Line: Recently in a conversation between two adult friends reflecting on their high school years, one of them mentioned: It seems we all turned out well. The other one replied “We would like to think so.” “But…” (What others think of us). It was puzzling especially more so coming from a guy who, per society’s normal measures of success, has incredible accomplishments. That conversation reminded me of Jim Carey’s important tips about life and career that he conveyed to the graduating class of 2014 at Maharishi University.   

Reflection: excerpts from the speech.

Because Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. How do I know this? I don’t, but I’m making sound, and that’s the important thing. That’s what I’m here to do. Sometimes, I think that’s the only thing that is important. Just letting each other know we’re here, reminding each other that we are part of a larger self.

Now fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here, and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.

So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying, I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it — please! And if it doesn’t happen for you right away, it’s only because the universe is so busy fulfilling my order. Party size!

My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. It’s not the only thing that he taught me though: I watched the affect my father’s love and humor and how it altered the world around me, and I thought, “That’s something to do, that’s something worth my time.”

The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Because everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart. My choosing to free people from concern got me to the top of a mountain. Look where I am — look what I get to do! Everywhere I go – and I’m going to get emotional because when I tap into this, it really is extraordinary to me — I did something that makes people present their best selves to me wherever I go. I am at the top of the mountain and the only one I hadn’t freed was myself and that’s when my search for identity deepened.

I wondered who I’d be without my fame. Who would I be if I said things that people didn’t want to hear, or if I defied their expectations of me? That peace that we’re after, lies somewhere beyond personality, beyond the perception of others, beyond invention and disguise, even beyond effort itself. You can join the game, fight the wars, play with form all you want, but to find real peace, you have to let the armour go. Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.

I’ve often said that I wished people could realize all their dreams of wealth and fame so that they could see that it’s not where you’ll find you’re going to find your sense of completion. Like many of you, I was concerned about going out in the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself!

Are you going to look at a person like me and say, “How could we ever hope to reach those kinds of heights, Jim? How can we make a painting that’s too big for our home? How do you fly so high without a special breathing apparatus?” This is the voice of THE EGO. And if you listen to it, there will always be someone who is doing better than you. No matter what you gain, ego will not let you rest. It will tell you that you cannot stop until you’ve left an indelible mark on the earth, until you’ve achieved immortality. How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with the promise of something we already possess.

So, I just want you to relax, you know, that’s my job. Relax and dream up a good life!

As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.

Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the door opens in real life, just walk through it. And don’t worry if you miss your cue because there’s always door opening. They keep opening. And when I say, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.” I really don’t know if that’s true. I’m just making a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial so that I can deal with them in the most productive way. You’ll come up with your own style, that’s part of the fun!

You will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.

Am I in Good Hands?

POINT TO PONDER: “If your systems are “world class”, why am I still hurting?”  - One customer

 

STORY LINE: In early 90s, on my 5^th day at a new company, my boss invited me to join a quarterly review meeting that was to take place with a major computer manufacturer based in Texas. Our sales department had gotten wind of the customer's unhappiness with the performance  of our products. The sales department had alerted our headquarters in the Silicon Valley that it was not going to be a pleasant meeting.

 

The conference room was over loaded; our side having a full entourage; President, various Vice Presidents with their staff members, and some working level people (like me) were in attendance. Twenty minutes into the meeting it was clear that our sales person's Forecast was right. The customer was very unhappy with our performance and their internal department had recommended to give us one quarter to shape up or we would be disqualified.

 

After patiently listening to the customer's complaints (we had to - there was no choice), our Vice President of Engineering got up to present his response. He explained the details of how problems occurs due to the forming, trimming and singulation tools. The next foil was an organization chart. Our VP introduced,  "this person is my chief technologist, holds 28 patents," and the foil following, "the person in the next box had a Ph.D. in XYZ with specialization..." As he was introducing the impressive technical qualifications of the person in the third box, one of the customer's personnel intervened , "Can they solve my problem?”

 

There was a stunned silence in the room. Was this an innocent question or a deliberately sarcastic one? If it was sarcastic, it was rude to do that to him in front of so many of our executives and subordinates. But thinking deeper, it sounded very basic.

 

REFLECTION:The lesson that I learnt that day was very profound and carried with me throughout my career. In final analysis, what the customer was looking for was, "Am I in good hands?” Do these people give me enough confidence that they can solve my current problems?

 

This lesson has been also very helpful to me in designing the organization structure and recruiting people with relevant qualifications for the purpose for which an organization exists. Organization composition must not be about elegance but about people with the mindset of solving “Real” problems of customer and investors.

Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us

Artist for the Picture unknown. Thanks to Evelyn Tan from Philippines for sending this.

 

Points to Ponder:“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.” - Marianne Williamson

Story Line: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

For more than two decades the profound message that Marianne Williamson wrote in her 1992 book A Return to Love was falsely attributed to Nelson Mandela. For those interested in learning more about the background here is the link

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/7/30/20699833/marianne-williamson-our-deepest-fear-nelson-mandela-return-to-love

Reflection: We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?.......And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

 

 

 

 

Reflection: 

SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE- You and I have Memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

Points to Ponder: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone? – The words in the final scene in the movie: Stand by Me.

Story Line: About nine months ago, I got a call from the childhood friend. He and some other friends were arranging the 50^th anniversary celebration of our high school class of 1969 on January 9^th, 2020. With the power of technology he connected classmates who are all over the world.

Except for five, I had lost contact with most of the friends from the Class of 69. I had not realized how much joy it would be to talk to them or see them on Facetime. And the sweetest surprise was that each one of them recounted so many fond memories of those good old days. One common memory was about two classmates who were most mischievous and created a lot of interesting episodes with the teachers and others. (Name withheld for privacy reasons but about one of those two guys, your guess will be as good as mine.J)

Reflection: Stand By Me Similarities.

Listening to stories told by friends brought back memories of the movie our children had introduced to me in late 80s. Stand by Me is a 1986 American film based on Stephen King's 1982 book. Stand by Me tells the fictional story of four boys in a small town in 1959 Oregon, and the experiences and leanings they go through coming-of-age.

Though some things in the movie have a cultural context, there are many similarities with my childhood days in India. The theme has a universal appeal and many incidences in the movie occur in every culture and country.

Most of the 60 students in the class of 1969 were together from Kindergarten to Grade11. Seven of us lived on either side of one railroad track and used to walk on the tracks just like the kids in the movie. We would also put stones or coins on the railroad tracks to flatten them when the train passed over them.

In school, when one of us got in trouble with a teacher (yes there were a few mean ones), others would console him just like what Gordie does to Chris in the movie. We also stood up for one another if older kids tried to bully our classmates. Yes and we did our share of silly mischiefs, joyful playing and innocent mistakes just like the four kids from Castle Rock, Oregon in Stand by Me.

In the summer of 1969, just after graduation, five of us barely 16 years of age, went on the major expedition to Himalayas, the northern most part of India. While in the town of Pahelgam, we got tempted to track to Amarnath Cave (13000 feet elevation) surrounded by snowy mountains. In those days the tracks were not as good as now and only a few thousand people would visit in the season which was late June to August. It was May and the state government had not officially approved the roads “Open for Travel”. We trusted the local guides who provided horses and accompanied us. There were two couples and three other men in their twenties who also were on that mission with us.

Without proper clothing, or proper food or shoes (one of us in slippers) and without informing our parents, we took off with few bottles of brandies, some food from a local grocery store. The journey was majestic with very early morning sun light reflecting on the snow and two times our horses sinking to their chest high in the snow. But we made it safe to our destination. Just like the in kids in the movie, we didn’t care about the credit for successful expedition but we heard from the fellow traveler that our successful mission was announced on All Kashmir Radio with The Government announcing the season as ‘Officially Open’.

Looking back, with all the training I have received in the adult years (FMEA, Risk Assessment), it was a very high risk mission (may be very foolish by some opinions). Fortunately, everything turned out OK in the end. Since we made it home in one piece, it was the great joy for our parents to talk about it in the town.

This reunion has rekindled many memories. I took this opportunity to draw similarities with the wonderful movie, Stand by Me, to express my nostalgia.

For those friends who are attending the reunion:

We're on our way home
We're going home

You and I have memories
Longer than the road
That stretches out ahead- from the song Two of Us by The Beatles

SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE: Memories of Childhood