Friday Reflections

Happy Thanksgiving from Friday Reflections

 

At Friday Reflections, we're thankful for all of our wonderful readers and the comments and feedback you regularly share with us.  You make Friday Reflections what it is, and we appreciate it.

Note: Last week's reflection about Mister Rogers got many readers' interest. In response Prasadbhai Vepa sent a wonderful article from The Washington Post titled " I used to hate Mister Rogers. Then I discovered how much I needed him." It is worth reading and pondering during the holidays. Another friend and a reader from Penang, Chiao Ju Seow extracted a few Points to Ponder from that article and shared for a dialgoue.

Points to Ponder: “Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect on any front — and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.” - Mister Rogers

“People have said, ‘Don’t cry’ to other people for years and years,” he said, “And all it has ever meant is ‘I’m too uncomfortable when you show your feelings’ . . . I’d rather have them say, ‘Go ahead and cry. I’m here to be with you.’ ” -Mister Rogers

Thanks to Prasadbhai and Chiao Ju for their kindness in sharing these golden nuggetts and Special Thanks to All of You for supporting Friday Reflections for 14 years.

 

 

 

He was so afraid of dying (making a mistake) that he forgot how to live (missed great opportunities)

One will never reach distant shores, if he chooses to remain upon the dock. In fear his little ship of dreams may be dashed against the rocks.  -- F. Bolen.

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.  -- Thucydides.

 

Storyline:

Two people look at the same new idea: one looks at the current data (today’s realities) and says, “This is very difficult, almost impossible. What if we go for it and fail? What will happen to us?”  The other looks at tomorrow’s possibilities and says, “What if we go for it and succeed? What would that data look like?”

It is the same idea, but one looks at possibilities and the other at dangers, one creates the future while the other is imprisoned by the present. And there lies the difference between successful entrepreneurs and institutions versus the others:

The unsuccessful ones are afraid to fail. When an opportunity is presented to them on a silver platter, they hide behind a wall of caution. Under the disguise of “cover all the bases” and “due diligence”, they create an infrastructure of over-diligence. 

Many good things in life do not wait for people who are busy analyzing all the dangers - not while someone down the street is dreaming of all the possibilities and ready to grab them.

 

Here are two stories of successful entrepreneurs ... the ones who know “how to live”:

1. The beginning of Excite (Source: Joe Krauss, founder of Excite and Jotspot)

“While we were still in the garage (literally), we met with at least 15 different venture capital firms. The meetings we're all the same. We showed them our search technology, showed them 'concept-based' search, and showed them targeted advertising. To a firm, the first question they asked was a very reasonable one: 'Great stuff guys, but what's your business plan? How are you going to make money?' Of course, being 22 years old and fresh out of college, we replied: 'We thought you could help us out with that.'

(Apparently, that's the wrong answer. Who knew?)

Then we met Vinod (Khosla)... By then, our deal had developed a certain "smell" - smart guys with interesting technology, but an uncertain business plan. The demo to Vinod started off like they all did, but about 10 minutes into the meeting things got very different. He interrupted "Can the technology scale? Can you search a large database?"

Big Pause. It's not the money question. No one has ever asked us this before. Ummm. "We don't know. We can't afford a hard drive big enough to test." Ten minutes into this meeting, his first introduction to us, he pulls out his cell phone, dials his assistant and buys us a $10,000, 10Gb hard drive. After that, Vinod, along with the venture capitalist who introduced us to him, Geoff Yang, invested in the company's first round of financing.” Then Excite became a very successful company.

 

2. CP/M Versus MS-DOS

When IBM decided to get into the PC business, they approached Microsoft and Inter Digital Research for the operating system. Microsoft had only application software, not an operating system; while IDR had the leading OS of the time called CP/M. However, the IDR people tied up IBM in legal details and non-disclosure agreements, while Gates signed the NDA on the spot, and then found someone to develop OS for Microsoft. The rest is history.

 

Reflection: "When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” - Paulo Coelho

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Points to Ponder: If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of others you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.- Mister Rogers

Discovering the truth, about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort. -Mister Rogers

Story Line: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in the world.

It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.

Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.

Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.

Reflection: From Mr. Rogers’ speech at Emmy for Life Time Achievement Award*

"So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who loved us into being. 

Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life."

"10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time. "

"Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made.”  

*Entire speech is in the video at the top of this reflection. Thanks to Mary Abel, former colleague and a good friend, for introducing me to this video. It inspired me to write this Friday Reflection; coincidently a day before the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is going to be released.

Leaking Bucket

Points to Ponder: We struggle to fill our lives with earnings of knowledge, hoping it will retain it all, but it leaks due to the many flaws that we commit daily.

Reflection: One of my bosses had a special skill. Whenever anyone in the organization started criticizing other people, other organizations or unleashed superiority complex, he would gently nudge the conversation and make us realize that we too had enough problems of our own and a lot of things to focus on. Also in my last job, we had a group of employees who wouldn’t hesitate to point out if my words and actions showed gaps. Both those experiences been humbling and they have helped in the journey of continuous improvement.

Today I received the following story from a reader* that reminded me of those people and good to reflect on it for the holidays.

Story Line: Leaking Bucket

You're very kind to outsiders/people in power and speak with them gently, but with your own family/employees you're inconsiderate and rude. (A leaking bucket)

You honor and treat your guests well but when they leave, you gossip about them and talk about their flaws. (A leaking bucket)

You try to read as many religious books, listen to sermons, participate in social services but you judge, criticize, hate, insult and curse daily. (A leaking bucket)

You frequently advice/preach others, but hardly practice it yourself. (A leaking bucket)

You slander people with different believes, culture, choices and Faith out of hatred when their views do not align with yours. (A leaking bucket)

You look down on others and feel more superior to them; judging their level of knowledge and socials status based on your perceptions, incomplete facts & external appearances. (A leaking bucket)

You wake up early morning trying to do Prayers but your mind is elsewhere and before you know it, you're done with it, without being mindful of it. (A leaking bucket)

We struggle to fill our "lives"(the bucket) with "earnings" of knowledge (the water), hoping it will retain it all, but it leaks due to the many flaws (the holes) that we commit daily.*

An excellent reminder for all including MYSELF to try and mend these holes up so we may progress further through this inevitable curriculum of life.

*story sent by a reader in India with a humble request not to use his name because he read this somewhere and does not know the original source.

Loose lips sink ships. Especially after a few drinks.

World War II poster by Seymour R. Goff. 

Points to Ponder: When it comes to senior management there are no casual conversations. Anything you say or do can be used against you at an appropriate time in the courts of the corporation.

Storyline: Most Senior Managers live A Purpose Driven Life. That purpose is connected to objectives, key results, associated success indicators and that extends into all aspects of their life including home life (that story in future FR). They feel the time is very precious and every moment has to be used into some productive output and even casual conversations fall into those categories. Here are two of the many stories I have encountered during my career.

 Story One: First Impression and knowing the audience.

One day I received an email from a guy in my group who was visiting a facility in a foreign country. He was very excited that he had run into my boss in the hotel restaurant, and as he mentioned “We had an exciting shoot the breeze session (casual conversation)”. A week later in my 1:1, the boss told me about that meeting and said “Your guy told me that he was there to just check out on things. Seemed to me that he didn’t have a very clear purpose for the trip. For just checking out, why didn’t you use our local people?” There was some other conversation that is not mentioned here for confidentiality reasons. But the same meeting and the same words but very different interpretations. The guy was there for a very critical supply line issue but in the half an hour with the VP, in his excitement to “Break the Ice”, he had broken the Iceberg that I had to tackle for years after.

Story Two: Holiday Season Parties and after a few Drinks (1976)

The General Manager (GM) of our division had invited his direct staff, some engineers and the spouses to his place to celebrate holidays and to appreciate 60-70 hours per week that we had put in for the entire year to start the new manufacturing plant and introduce the flagship product. At dinner very delicious food and exotic drinks were served. After dinner more vintage wine started flowing and the people seemed determined to shed their inhibitions and let the night take its course.

In one room the casual conversations between spouses drifted in the direction of the work life effectiveness. Many Spouses felt that because of long work weeks, their partners did not have enough time at home for children or themselves. They came to the other room to express their feelings to the general manager. The spouse of the design manager (DM) took the lead in starting the conversation on behalf of the team, but with the drinks warming up the blood, and more joining, it got very intense. Words got out of control and looking at our general managers’ face, I felt that things were not looking good. The event ended soon after. As our still gracious GM was walking us towards our parked cars, I heard him tell the DM: (name) I have never been humiliated so badly by anybody.

A month after the incidence, DM office had been moved from Mahogany Lane to our lane: the lane of the working class. His special privileges like having a secretary were suspended and he was stripped of his title and staff. He left our company a few weeks after.

Reflection: Yes in both stories above, supreme EGOs were involved and there were better ways to handle the situations. The stories like above have happened in other places and with all genders. In my 40 years career, I have witnessed episodes of casual conversations resulting in unwanted consequences; not only the type mentioned above but also others where they were brought up during performance review discussions, key job assignments and promotional considerations.

On the flip side, FR has and will continue to publish stories that have resulted in positive outcomes and good benefits.

Holiday Season is fast approaching and the readers may encounter more articles on this subject (about caution and moderation) in other publications too.

This FR is: One For The Road.