Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions*

POINT TO PONDER

“It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.”  - Steve Jobs

STORY LINE

The year was 1984. My boss and I were in a one on one meeting. As I was explaining the details of one project, my boss intervened and said, “you are defensive”. I was taken aback by the comment and immediately replied, “I am not defensive,” and started explaining why.

A few minutes into my explanation, my boss put his pen on the table and with a cunning smile on his face he said, “I rest my case. Let us move on to the next subject”. 

It took me a while, a long while, to understand the depth of the feedback he had given me.  For a considerable period of time I criticized him for being so blunt. But over the years, I realized how valuable his feedback was and how helpful it became in my career.

For example, there was a time in my career when I decided to go into business for myself. I bounced the idea off of my mentor, an accomplished executive. He endorsed the idea. Initially, the business grew, doing quite well, but I also discovered that it I did not like to do many of the minor tasks that are required for running a business. 

Noticing that, my mentor said to me, “you need to go back to work for a company. You have lost the discipline to run the business as an individual owner. But you have a lot of experience and track record that will be helpful when you have resources available to guide”. Yes it was a tough pill to swallow... But it was also very true. 

So I went back to work at a company, and looking back, it was a very good advice. I had a stellar career in the corporate world and could focus my strengths in places I could maximize them most and led to a successful and fulfilling career. 

REFLECTION

Feedback is a valuable gift but many times it comes in forms that can be hard to take, especially if comes wrapped in the form of blunt honesty. But after the initial hurt and anger wears off, and you can look at the feedback for what it is, it can lead to tremendous growth. We just have to be able to put our ego aside to see it. 

*Title is a quote from Ken Blanchard

Being republished due to Readers' requests. Original date August 27, 2015.

 

 

Comments

[EC]

Being Defensive:
I remember the quote of Fr. Jerry Shovelton, “A good conscience is the greatest defender. A bad conscience is the greatest tormentor.” I found this worked for me with (a certain company) as deep down, most of these guys knew they were using tactics and defending an argument in which was wrong. Of course, a shark only believes in one thing, “Eating” and that is another problem.

[Appreciative]

Thanks for keeping the Friday reflections going….Today’s topic is so appropriate for me… I am sitting down with my boss to go over my strengths and weaknesses.

[BHSC]

Good lesson… ego.. the source of so much angst… for nothing.

[Haresh]

Steve Jobs never publicly acknowledged that the reason he got fired from Apple was his disruptive behavior. John Scully and Board was left with no choice eventhough Steve got a longer rope.
Only in that statement that he made during his speech at Stanford (in your PTP session) he has indirectly acknowledged his failings.
Had he not gone through that bitter but valuable experience, he would not have been the Steve Jobs we know today.

[Ron Vitt]

Thank you for remembering. If I had it to do all over, I would not change the bluntness, just temper it with more kind words. The second part also rings true, retired and wanted to grow grapes, that was OK, but selling wine was something I was never cut out to do. Had to get out of that business.

[Zhicong Deng]

similar saying in Chinese：Just as bitter medicine cures sickness , so unpalatable advice benefits conduct. 良药苦口利于病 ，忠言逆耳利于行

[Anand]

Ron;
Thanks. Looking back that was a very good feedback and helped a lot. Direct feedback is always good even though hard to take at the time. Anand

[Sam]

Again, what a timing for this article! I just learnt this topic in my Org behavior class and how to give one effectively. The three key elements include a) Context b) behavior issue and c) outcomes it creates.

[Timeless Friendship]

recycled from 2015 but still timeless.

[SJ]

Very nicely expressed with your example

[Cousin]

It is interesting you mentioned hurt and anger but not feeling fear or feeling intimidated.
This say a lot about your fortitude and that in yurn explains your success