Point to Ponder: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand him around. When I turned twenty one, I was amazed how much the old man had learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain
Story Line: In the United States of America, upcoming Sunday is celebrated as Father’s Day. Many people have fond memories of their Father or a Fatherly figure or a Mentor in their lives. I would like to share one of mine.
When I was in high school, I noticed that my father spent a lot of time on phone talking and socializing with many people. I used to wonder, “This man has it easy. I have to go to school every day and then sweat over the homework and exams while this old man is having fun talking to people all day.”
Many years later, when I was working for a company in Arizona, my father visited my family. One day, my long contained curiosity prevailed and I asked, “How were you so successful literally doing nothing except talking to people; while people like me had to suffer through the years of schooling and now have to sweat every day to earn a productive living?” I wanted to know the secret of his success.
He pointed his first finger and said that the secret was right in the power of that finger. He used that finger to regularly keep in touch with people, either through dialing on phones or writing notes. Those people were not only his current business associates but also the friends from school and college days and people he met in various places (conferences, airports, trains, and previous business ventures).
He did not seem to know the modern day Network Theory terminology or the buzz words like Networking, but what he explained further as advantages of Human Relations falls right into the realms of those two areas.
Because of knowing a lot about people, he was able to quickly connect/help people (as well as get connected himself) who needed certain services with the ones who could provide those services. He used to call this his efficient Information Storage and Retrieval database. In Networking Theory terms, he acted as a Router (or others acted for his needs) and connected various Servers (people who had certain products and services) to workstations (People who needed those services). He felt that people spend a lot of time (Productivity Loss) in searching for right services or getting right customers.
Having good relationships not only saved a lot of search time but also saved relationship building (qualification) time. When you have maintained relationships with people, when you need to talk to them you don’t have to wait, sometimes for a long time, to get on their calendars. Since the other person knows you and your track record, credibility/goodwill is already established. In such cases, the matters are resolved with a quick phone call or a hallway chat.
He believed that when you keep in contact with many people, you are constantly aware of what is going on in this world; know opportunities for your talent and also about the opportunities to enhance your skills. In his opinion, this builds up a lot of confidence.
When you share your problems or dilemmas with others, you may find out that you are not the only one. They may have been through such issues and learning curves themselves. It is a great stress reliever when one does not feel isolated.
His concluding words were “The most important business relations are personal ones. Use the power of your finger to keep in touch on a daily basis. It is people who make things happen, not the machines.”
Reflection: Looking back, I appreciate how valuable this advice has been in enjoying my work, accomplishing many good things and building lifelong relationships. His other related advice has been equally valuable as well “Being able to work with people is one of the most important things in work and in life.” *
In late 80s one phone company came out with an advertisement “Reach out and touch someone. “Most important business relationships are personal ones.” Sounded familiar to me. I had heard that before.
* Many past FR have covered real life stories on this subject and there will be many more in the future reflections.
Happy Father's Day Anand. I think someone already mentioned this to you, but when I first saw you in AZ, my first thought was - " he looks just like my Dad". As I remember him from my childhood. My Dad passed away when I was in college. I consider 3 men as my father figures- and it has nothing to do with age. My older brother, Prof Alex Van Hook from Knoxville, TN and YOU. Hope you have a wonderful Father's day , which also is everyday.
Posted by: madhuri | June 14, 2019 at 12:41 PM
The picture and the story brings back memories. I would hold my dad's hand and go to market, movies and also watch sunset at Luneta. The greatest gift he gave me was to teach me to stand on my own feet.
Posted by: Marlyn | Jun 15, 2007 7:09:23 AM
My father passed away when I was only 30, over 20 years ago, and I miss him to this day. The most important thing he gave me was a sense of ethics. He had more integrity than anyone I've ever known; that is a great gift to pass along to your sons.
Posted by: Thomas | Jun 16, 2007 4:02:02 PM
Posted by: Comments from 2007 publication of this article: RePosted by FR Team | June 14, 2019 at 12:59 PM
I do very well remember your Dad’s passion of talking with people
There is a saying in gujarati, English translation is
“Relationships are a gold mine, never know how, who, where and when you will need it”
Posted by: ST | June 14, 2019 at 02:36 PM
Happy Father's Day!
The Mark Twain quote is a personal favorite of mine. So it is that we think we know everything...until later when we are old enough to know better.
I cherish our friendship, and I have always admired the way you cultivated relationships with many people at work, treating everyone with great respect, regardless of your status as a big VP in the organization.
There is a film I once watched (quite by accident on television) called The Last Castle, starting Robert Redford. It is the story of a military general whose illustrious career is derailed when he is court-marshalled and sent to prison for going against the wishes of his superiors at the highest echelons of power. While in prison, he manages to inspire a small army of fellow inmates to stage a rebellion against the autocratic prison warden. The film is a remarkable story about how a great leader can develop power and influence wherever he goes, using the most effective principles of leadership, which are centered on how to motivate and influence others.
Posted by: Levis's | June 14, 2019 at 04:08 PM
Wonderful article! I fully agree with you. This reminds of my young days when I used to envy my father who I thought was having good time whereas I had to go to school, study and take tests/exams. I did not realize that he had gone through the whole grind before he became a doctor, worked hard for the family and now deserves a comfortable life. Now that he is no more, I miss him very much!
WISH YOU HAPPY FATHER's Day!
Posted by: BR | June 14, 2019 at 10:37 PM
Happy father's day!!! Connecting with people more and more has been a joy since I met you... Learned from the best
Posted by: Humble warrior | June 15, 2019 at 09:54 PM