The Spy Who Loved Me

Points to Ponder: “The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?" -Pablo Casals (Spanish Cellist, Wrote music for UN Anthem for world peace, 1963 Presidential Medal of Freedom; b.1876-1973)

Story Line: During my years in elementary school, I developed an interest in collecting stamps. I heard that our neighbor was getting letters from Germany so every other week I would go to his window to check if he had received any letters, and ask if he had some stamps for me. After returning from one summer vacation, and expecting a ton of stamps, I went to his place only to find the windows shut. After a few more days with closed windows, I knocked on the main door of the house. The lady who was renting the room to him informed me that he had moved to Germany. Upon further investigation I found out that his “Penfriend” had come and they had gotten married and moved to Germany*. That was my first exposure to English word,"penfriend.”

But that experience added to my hobby of stamp collecting and I wanted to know more about other countries while improving my English. By the summer of 1970, I had Penfriends in twelve different countries.

So when my cousin Yogini informed me that she had given my address to a girl in Philippines who was looking for a friend in India, I was not very enthusiastic. All the other Penfriends I had selected were from countries where I could correctly pronounce the name. I had never heard about the country named “Fili Pines**”. Plus she was going to be No. 13. I also thought about having no more money to buy stamps to send letters. My cousin was persistent and informed me that the person she was recommending is the best friend of her penfriend Helen Tan in Philippines and I would be very happy. She also showed me the stamps from Fili Pines which were very attractive.

On September 24, 1970 I received the first letter from Luisa Go. The casual writing style, handwriting and the brief introduction was very appealing. And the stamps were beautiful. The only thing that seemed strange was she had used the word Penpal instead of Penfriend. But I accepted the new label considering that one purpose of having friends around the world was to learn new things.

Things started out well until in one of her subsequent letters, she mentioned that she had a Chinese heritage. Her father was born in China and had migrated to Philippines at an early age and her mother was half Chinese and half Filipino. The word “Chinese” raised a Red Flag on my side. In the early 60s India and China had a border war and after that the relationships between two countries were strained. When some people found out she was “Chinese” they gave me cautionary advice; be careful, Chinese are very smart and they might be trying to get a spy through Fili Pines. After some discussion with my parents about this I decided to take a chance and keep writing letters.

Over next five years, we exchanged many letters, stamps and sometimes coins as Bonus. She had great sense of humor and shared very interesting stories about places, movies and various things written on variety of papers in a very likeable style.

In 1974 I moved to California. After a string of coincidences, On August 2, 1978, I ended up in Philippines to meet her. Since we never thought we would ever meet in person, we had told each other enough secrets about ourselves leaving no need for confessions. So in my second visit there in September of the same year, we got engaged. During my third visit there on December 19, 1978, we exchanged vows “I Do” in front of the judge in Manila City Hall.

Reflection: The last forty years have enriched us with the great understanding of each other; for me, richness and diversity of Chinese and Filipino people; and for her, fascinating history and heritage of India and its people.

In August 1978, when I came out of the door of Manila International Airport for the first time, I saw two girls waiting outside. Instantly I recognized my Penpal. The very first thought that came to my mind was “Do I want to be with her for the rest of my life?” and my heart said “Yes”.
And Yes, through the years there have been some border conflicts (aka disagreements, dialogues), some intense, but not once over anything related to our countries, cultures or religions. Just excursions we would have had in any relationship even if the person was from our own culture. One ancient rule of warfare has been followed: Ceasefire before dark (and a goodnight hug).

In 14 years of Friday Reflections being in a public domain, I have never shared such very personal story. Thank You for allowing me to do so on the significant milestone in our journey; 40 years.

I will end with the words from a very first valentine card from my new life partner and former penpal (Year 1979.)

“You are life’s most precious gift to me, for the reasons even I can’t explain. I love you more and more every day.”

*in late 1980s we were able to track down that neighbor through common association. JayKrishna and Giesla came by our place during their visit to USA.

**We pronounced Philippines as Fili Pines in early days.

Comments

[Lopeti Senituli]

Thank you for sharing!

[CH]

Wow!!! So romantic...! Story from the heart is always the most beautiful one.

[Prasad Vepa]

Thank you Anand, for sharing your very beautiful story of love. Congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary! May your and Luisa’s married lives always be filled with love, understanding, peace and joy!

[The one who was next to your penpal at MNL airport]

A "W😊W" love story...

[Ryan]

Happy Holidays Anand – Fantastic story!

[Ian]

very lovely story that can be a plot in hollywood movies

[Frankly Speaking]

“One ancient rule of warfare has been followed: Ceasefire before dark (and a goodnight hug).”
Technically what must have followed is called Sleeping with the enemy. 😀

[sujat]

Beautiful & inspiring! We all here at Friday Reflections feel honoured for your sharing such a personal account of your life with us.

I cannot help but mention again - wonderful!

(Ur story sends a tingling sensation up my spine to the top of the head.)

[Ken Yee]

Anand - a beautiful story of a loving couple. May you and Luisa experience a continued lifetime of happiness.

[Arlene (received in mail. Posted by FR team)]

What a beautiful, beautiful story! There is a certain magic in letter writing as one puts more effort in expressing their thoughts and the magic of the pen sometimes makes one willing to share honest ideas.

[Chris Flores]

Naks! Matindi ang story mo Anand. 😊

[Sharvary]

A very happy Anniversary to you both. You have an enriched life because of your partner and we are lucky to hear lovely experiences of your life. All the best for coming years and wonderful Xmas

Must be so wonderful to meet your German neighbor after so many years

[Hedda Robinson]

Very nice and sweet. Happy 40th Anniversary.

[FE-Philippines]

What a love story! Congratulations on your 40th anniversary, Anand! May God continue to bless your marriage and family. 🙏

By the way, I also collected stamps when I was young. And had penpals too, not as many as yours though. 😄

[Humble Warrior]

Whew... well it's getting kind of misty in here or something, my eyes are watery... I love your love story... I also love this photo, where is it from?... Well done spies, well done

[ana]

so beautiful :) thank you for being an inspiration to us Anand. Cheers to many more happiness together.

[anand]

To Humble Warrior
The photo is from Tongatapu island in Tonga. May 3,2018.
As you must have noticed the photo was taken after sunset when darkness had set in; the time for Ceasefire. (:)

[Kazuko Inaba]

That is a Beautiful story; Congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary!

[Krishnan]

A truly uplifting real-life story that pre-dates Facebook encounters, and is a testament to honesty, persistence and commitment ! Best wishes for continued joy !

[Levi's]

Do you know the wonderful song called "Do you love me?" from the Broadway show, "Fiddler on the Roof"? The song reminds me of your happy marriage. Happy Anniversary Anand and Luisa! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onrtcJ6n1Ng

[Peng Peng]

Thank you for sharing. Happy 40th anniversary.

[Angela]

Thank you very much for your sharing. It was a very nice love story. Wishing you a happy life forever!

[Seema]

Thanks for sharing your lovely Love story with your beautiful wife Louisa...God Bless both of you

[Basant]

Hearty congratulations on your 40th wedding anniversary!
I enjoyed your real life story very much. A global romance, it was fascinating! And the best advice for all married people was 'a cease fire before nightfall'!

[Santosh joshi]

A beautiful love story and a match made in heaven . Stay blessed

[Janis Sachtjen]

Lovely story, with a very happy message. Congratulations on 40 wonderful years.

[Madhuri]

A lovely Love story Anand and Luisa!
" ceasefire before dark..." So simple and yet so profound.
Wish you a wonderful new year, and another 40 years of life together.

[Amy]

First I knew very well the story but I have a dispute on your storyline. My oldest sister (yes you’re own very wife) is funny? Hahaha!!!!! Honestly, I really like your story and even the whole word have turn their back on you and my dear sister(you know who I was referring to) one thing will never be forgotten! I got a chance to live the life here in the United States and because of her I have a permanent job. Remember, the company that I work for originally wants her because I do not have work experience yet (because I was a newbie in this country). Thanks to her for that, I am forever grateful! Love, Amy

[Amy]

And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

[Neerja]

How simply and beautifully put....from the heart! And I remember all those times having been a miniscule part of it just like that of a bystander!!
Wishing you both a super Wedding Anniversary and many many more to come😃