Friday Reflections

When What You are and What You Do are aligned…

La'ie Point, Oahu

Point to Ponder: May be the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. May be it is about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be what you were meant to be in the first place. –Author Unknown

Story Line: In response to the Friday Reflection Be Yourself in late June, a reader Prasad Vepa commented as follows: Your cryptic reflection is sound indeed. It is similar to the last line of the advice Hamlet received from his father: “Above all, to thine own self be true!” The well known observation from Rumi points to the same insight: I kept knocking on the door until I realized I was inside! We generally knock on other doors hoping to find compatible shelters and voices until we realize we need to not knock — but unlock — our own door from within to find and uncover our authentic self in the cave of our own heart.

I would say that ‘Being yourself’ is necessary, but not sufficient. It is much more important to KNOW yourself. Otherwise one runs the risk of acting like one of our presidents who suffered from the illusion of being ‘The Decider’ and erroneously concluded that it conferred upon him the powers of a Nero and the wisdom of a Solomon! But he was being himself. The duty to awaken from our long, deep slumber of hazy illusion and to uncover the truth of our deepest self is the highest human obligation as Vedanta teaches us and as Shankara proclaimed. This truth will set us free and liberate us from suffering, which is really caused more by ignorance of our true self than by desire. When you know yourself you WILL be yourself. And your thought, word and deed will be aligned.--Your dear friend, Prasad Vepa

While reading his comments I remembered one of old colleagues and the choices he made about 18 years ago.

Reflection: I worked with him in late 90s. He was an engineer, easy to work with and very good at what he did. At the age of 38 he decided to return home to be with his aging parents; giving up on a very lucrative career, opportunities of Silicon Valley and all the rewards it could have brought him with his talent.

During our trip to Oahu in May, My wife and I spent two days with him reflecting on the time that had passed. His goal was to spend a few years after graduation on the mainland and then return home. Some would assume that he must have “Made It” in order to give up on the future rewards this growing industry would have brought. From what I know that wasn’t the case. He did what was consistent with who he was and what he wanted out of life.

Prasad Vepa’s comments and the story of my friend are appropriate to end the year; the time to reflect and also time to look forward.

Wishing You Fabulous Four Seasons

Dear Friday Reflection Community

Wish You and Family A Very Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday Season and A Fabulous Four Seasons in 2019.

We at Friday Reflections Thank You for your support, feedback and good wishes.

Love

Anand

The Spy Who Loved Me

Points to Ponder: “The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?" -Pablo Casals (Spanish Cellist, Wrote music for UN Anthem for world peace, 1963 Presidential Medal of Freedom; b.1876-1973)

Story Line: During my years in elementary school, I developed an interest in collecting stamps. I heard that our neighbor was getting letters from Germany so every other week I would go to his window to check if he had received any letters, and ask if he had some stamps for me. After returning from one summer vacation, and expecting a ton of stamps, I went to his place only to find the windows shut. After a few more days with closed windows, I knocked on the main door of the house. The lady who was renting the room to him informed me that he had moved to Germany. Upon further investigation I found out that his “Penfriend” had come and they had gotten married and moved to Germany*. That was my first exposure to English word,"penfriend.”

But that experience added to my hobby of stamp collecting and I wanted to know more about other countries while improving my English. By the summer of 1970, I had Penfriends in twelve different countries.

So when my cousin Yogini informed me that she had given my address to a girl in Philippines who was looking for a friend in India, I was not very enthusiastic. All the other Penfriends I had selected were from countries where I could correctly pronounce the name. I had never heard about the country named “Fili Pines**”. Plus she was going to be No. 13. I also thought about having no more money to buy stamps to send letters. My cousin was persistent and informed me that the person she was recommending is the best friend of her penfriend Helen Tan in Philippines and I would be very happy. She also showed me the stamps from Fili Pines which were very attractive.

On September 24, 1970 I received the first letter from Luisa Go. The casual writing style, handwriting and the brief introduction was very appealing. And the stamps were beautiful. The only thing that seemed strange was she had used the word Penpal instead of Penfriend. But I accepted the new label considering that one purpose of having friends around the world was to learn new things.

Things started out well until in one of her subsequent letters, she mentioned that she had a Chinese heritage. Her father was born in China and had migrated to Philippines at an early age and her mother was half Chinese and half Filipino. The word “Chinese” raised a Red Flag on my side. In the early 60s India and China had a border war and after that the relationships between two countries were strained. When some people found out she was “Chinese” they gave me cautionary advice; be careful, Chinese are very smart and they might be trying to get a spy through Fili Pines. After some discussion with my parents about this I decided to take a chance and keep writing letters.

Over next five years, we exchanged many letters, stamps and sometimes coins as Bonus. She had great sense of humor and shared very interesting stories about places, movies and various things written on variety of papers in a very likeable style.

In 1974 I moved to California. After a string of coincidences, On August 2, 1978, I ended up in Philippines to meet her. Since we never thought we would ever meet in person, we had told each other enough secrets about ourselves leaving no need for confessions. So in my second visit there in September of the same year, we got engaged. During my third visit there on December 19, 1978, we exchanged vows “I Do” in front of the judge in Manila City Hall.

Reflection: The last forty years have enriched us with the great understanding of each other; for me, richness and diversity of Chinese and Filipino people; and for her, fascinating history and heritage of India and its people.

In August 1978, when I came out of the door of Manila International Airport for the first time, I saw two girls waiting outside. Instantly I recognized my Penpal. The very first thought that came to my mind was “Do I want to be with her for the rest of my life?” and my heart said “Yes”.
And Yes, through the years there have been some border conflicts (aka disagreements, dialogues), some intense, but not once over anything related to our countries, cultures or religions. Just excursions we would have had in any relationship even if the person was from our own culture. One ancient rule of warfare has been followed: Ceasefire before dark (and a goodnight hug).

In 14 years of Friday Reflections being in a public domain, I have never shared such very personal story. Thank You for allowing me to do so on the significant milestone in our journey; 40 years.

I will end with the words from a very first valentine card from my new life partner and former penpal (Year 1979.)

“You are life’s most precious gift to me, for the reasons even I can’t explain. I love you more and more every day.”

*in late 1980s we were able to track down that neighbor through common association. JayKrishna and Giesla came by our place during their visit to USA.

**We pronounced Philippines as Fili Pines in early days.

All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.

Thanks to Saeed Malik for introducing me to “The Little Prince” in the year 1988

Point to Ponder: Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Story Line: The Little Prince
At first glance one may assume that “The Little Prince” is a book for children. After all the cast of characters are: a Pilot, a boy named “The Little Prince”, a Fox, a Snake and a Rose. But in reality few stories are as widely read and as universally cherished by children and adults alike as “The Little Prince”. In my belief it is a story even more valuable for adults and it is easy one hour reading time.

Here are a few teasers from the book*:
The narrator begins with a discussion on the nature of grown-ups and their inability to perceive, especially relating to important things. The narrator becomes a pilot, and, one day, his plane crashes in the Sahara, far from civilization. In the middle of the desert, the narrator is unexpectedly greeted by a young boy who is nicknamed as "the little prince".

Over the course of eight days stranded in the desert, while the narrator attempts to repair his plane, the little prince recounts the story of his life.

The prince begins by describing life on his tiny home planet: in effect, a house-sized asteroid known as "B 612" on Earth.

The prince has since visited six other planets, each of which was inhabited by a single, irrational, narrow-minded adult, each meant to critique an element of society. They include:
• A king with no subjects, who only issues orders that can be followed, such as commanding the sun to set at sunset.
• A narcissistic man who only wants the praise which comes from admiration and being the most-admirable person on his otherwise uninhabited planet.
• A drunkard who drinks to forget the shame of drinking.
• A businessman who is blind to the beauty of the stars and instead endlessly counts and catalogs them in order to "own" them all
• A lamplighter on a planet so small, a full day lasts a minute. He wastes his life blindly following orders to extinguish and relight the lamppost every 30 seconds to correspond with his planet's day and night.
• An elderly geographer who has never been anywhere, or seen any of the things he records, providing a caricature of specialization in the contemporary world.
It is the geographer who tells the prince that the prince next visit the planet Earth.

The visit to Earth begins with a deeply pessimistic appraisal of humanity. The six absurd people the prince encountered earlier comprise, according to the narrator, just about the entire adult world on earth. Below are some sample dialogues before you dwell into the fascinating, deeply philosophical and meaningful story for life and relationships.

“People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for...And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.”

“Grown-ups love figures... When you tell them you've made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? "Instead they demand "How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? "Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.”

“Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready-made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me...” said Fox.

Reflection: In the modern times where elementary school teachers have to remind the parents to slow down and let kids be kids, In the corporate orientation classes for the fresh graduates when the presenter tells them “Welcome to the ‘Real World’”, For people needing coaching in “Emotional Intelligence, The Little Prince will enlighten and open the eyes about what the real “Real World” is like. As the narrator says to the little prince “Men occupy little space on Earth”

The analysis of the book in Encyclopedia Britannica sums it up well: The Little Prince draws unflattering portraits of grown-ups as being hopelessly narrow-minded. In contrast, children come to wisdom through open-mindedness and a willingness to explore the world around them and within themselves. The main theme of the fable is expressed in the secret that the fox tells the little prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

*Source for the Story Line Teasers: Wikipedia.

Cover Photo from The Little Prince in my book collection. Motion Picture has since been released. If any further interest beyond this reflection, then Recommend to read the book first before watching the video.

The Story of Yudhisthira and His Dog

 

Sully the service dog accompanies Bush one last time

POINT TO PONDER
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. -James D. Miles

STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah (Retold from the Mahabharata)
Yudhisthira finally stood at Indra's chariot. Indra loomed over Yudhisthira - a noble and skilled man - and his trusty companion, an ugly dog that had joined him one day on his trek while he was resting under a tree, alone and tired. He had lost his brothers on the journey - one by one they died - from starvation, the bone chillingly cold nights and the brutality of the heat during the day. One by one they were taken from him. It was when his last brother perished that he found himself at his lowest, under that lonely tree, when the dog appeared to him and never left.
They had been searching for Indra's chariot on that mountain to take them the final way to the gates of heaven. Yudhisthira and his brothers had heard finding this place, this paradise, would bring them peace. They were brave men and many believed they could make the journey through the treacherous mountains but in the end it was Yudhisthira alone, with his trusted dog, had made it.
Together he and the dog had passed over jagged rocks that cut them, hot sand that burned, painful thorns from unwelcoming bushes, and deep mud that threatened to suck them in and not let them go. When they found food - sometimes Yudhisthira finding it, sometimes the dog – they always shared it. When neither found food, they starved together. And as sometimes only loneliness can bring to two creatures, it brought Yudhisthira and his dog love. He trusted the dog with his life.
His dog was looking up at him and he patted his head. They had finally made it to the place they were searching, and Indra's voice bellowed out to him, “oh, you finally arrived! I have been waiting for you so long! It's a pleasure to have you here in my chariot, let's fly to heaven.”
Yudhisthira and his dog took a few steps toward the chariot when Indra raised a hand, “But... the dog can't come, look at it, it's old and thin. It's not worthy of my heaven.”
His dog stopped and Yudhisthira looked down at him. The dog laid down at Yudhisthira's side, resting its head on his cracked paws. Yudhisthira looked back up at Indra, “I'm sorry, if the dog can't come with me, we will turn around and go back now. I thank you for your invitation, but I cannot leave this animal. He has been my faithful companion during this journey.”
Yudhisthira headed back down the mountain, the long arduous path they had just come.
“Stop,” Indra cried out.
Yudhisthira turned and discovered not his dog on the ground where it had been, but the dog transformed back into its real shape: the God Dharma.
“Now you can come, this was your final test and you showed that you deserve to come with me.” Indra opened the doors to the chariot and Yudhisthira stepped in. Indra closed the door and off they went.

REFLECTION
The dharma, represented by the dog in this story is the representation of the only way a person can attain peace. And within this story, the path is found through righteousness not because of what Yudhisthira will attain but because of the intrinsic value of doing what was right.
This begs the question of whether we do good things because of what we feel it will bring us: appreciation or reward.
*I was inspired to focus on this story from the Mahabharata and the picture of the week after reading a moving article about a dog refusing to leave his owner, a fallen soldier. The story can be found here: Best Friend

Update: This story was originally published on Sept 10, 2011. https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2011/09/yudhisthiraandhisdog.html

Being republished with a new photo after reading the following very touching story about President George H.W.Bush and his service dog Sully. Sully the service dog accompanies Bush one last time.  Sully

The readers comment in the original publication are also being republished in the blog comments.