Be kind to people who are near and those who are far will come.

Point to Ponder: When you were born, the world was smiling and you were crying. Live life in such a way that when you leave, you are smiling and the world is crying.—From The Autobiography of Yogi

Story Line: Last Saturday my wife and I attended Celebration of Life service for a friend I had met 40 years ago in my very first workplace. While there I found out things I did not know about him; that he was in US Airforce before joining the high tech industry, only drove stick shift cars all his life. But most surprising thing I learnt about Stephen Dai Kea Kang was that he was born in 1930; around same time period as my parents. When I informed some old colleagues about Steve, the first words came out from every one of them were “Nice Guy” “Kind Person.”

Reflection: The year was 1978. I was working for Raytheon Semiconductor. I needed some tool from another group and approached the engineer there. After some tips about the tool and a brief chat about our jobs, the engineer of that group told me “Let’s go for lunch someday and talk more.” That was the beginning of our friendship and that also was the signature line of Steve Kan.

Steve liked to discuss business issues in a more relaxed environment. He would take his fellow engineers, technicians and line operators for lunch to appreciate their work. The local restaurant owners knew him well. Steve loved to treat people and would insist on taking care of the bill.

One time after lunch, when Steve wouldn’t let me pay the bill we started arguing and pulling bill from each other’s hands. While this pushing and shoving was going on, not understanding the root cause, the customer on the next table got nervous and also compassionate. A few minutes later, the waiter who was familiar with these often seen dramatic moves came and told us that our bill was already paid. When we asked how, he pointed at the gentleman on the next table. The gentleman told us that he thought we were fighting for “not to pay the bill” and he wanted to help. (he was glad to find out the real reason and accepted the refund).

Steve was forever enthusiastic and willing to help people. He could interact with any generation with ease. He respected people and gave importance to their work. All these years of interactions I had never known our age difference. He was forever young. There are so many everyday heroes in our lives who inspire and leave life long memories.

Three days before his passing, Steve was with one of his seven grandchildren. While leaving he gave him a hug and then drove by; of course in his stick shift car.

Celebration of His Life ended with a beautiful and appropriate Chinese proverb:

Be kind to people who are near and those who are far will come.

Comments

[Chandler]

Nice reflection Anand…I always get a smile reading your Friday Reflections

[micro CEO]

Thanks for sharing another thought-provoking FR.
The best memories I have of growing the breadth of my knowledge have taken place (and continue to happen) outside of the office, typically at 1:1 lunches or group dinner. Whether it is greeting new team members, seeking advice from those whom I respect, or showing thanks to colleagues after project, such meetings are often like "punctuate equilibria" in my career. They are also the most personally meaningful. This is a great reminder to keep exiting the building to spend time with people. Steve Blank (lean startup/lean launchpad) has a similar idea... "Get out of the building". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-J_SwmMJyo

[Basant Rajput]

So true!It is very important to be kind to all people around you, whether relatives or friends and especially those who have some kind of an handicap or disability!

[Joalica]

The moral of the story sticks with me so well. In fact, every time I read the Friday reflections, I always get nutrition out of it. Just thinking of one more thing to do, I will start to bring my son together with me to read the Friday reflections, so it will be a steady life-long points to ponder to keep enriching his life! Thank you, Anand!

[CH]

Wish Steve rest in peace!

[max]

thanks for sharing and always be touched by the Friday reflections.

[Prasad Vepa, Cupertino]

Thanks Anand, for a poignant reflection to ponder. Though we forget, it is a fact that when we leave this world we are not remembered for what we have, but for what we give and share with others and how we touch their lives in making a positive difference, however small or big -- a smile, a hand to lighten a burden, a shoulder to lean and listen to a tale of pain, a kind word of appreciation, to heal a wound or a conflict, to read a book to a child, to visit a sick one, compassion to ease one's plight or sorrow and make a difference in a thousand other ways. To care for others and feel their pain is a quintessential quality that sets humans apart from other beings. We can always get inspired by great souls like Saint Francis of Assisi, The Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa and others who had the rare ability to see all beings as a reflection of themselves and a spark of the same Divine.