It was in my heart to help a little because I was helped much. Part 2

 

Point to Ponder: You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. - Khalil Gibran

 Story Line: This is continuation of the reflection published on August 3, 2017. Part 1

In 1980 just after I had graduated from Stanford, Raytheon Semiconductor- a company that I worked for from 1975-1983- had sponsored my studies and offered me an expatriate assignment in their plant in Manila, Philippines. Prior to leaving I paid a courtesy visit to Mr. Dowd, the general manager of our division. When I asked him for tips about how to thrive in this new assignment, Mr. Dowd said, "Young man, In Asia most of the business is done over a cup of tea.” Then he shook my hands and wished me well. However puzzling those words seemed then, over time I saw the immense value in that wisdom. That meeting was the beginning of a strong bond that developed between us. I learned practical wisdom about the real world from Mr. Dowd: to mention a few..

• “In the corporate world, there are no permanent enemies and no permanent friends.” 
• “You can be great today and gone tomorrow.” 
• “For a senior level person, guess who got the key to his house?” 
• “I don’t need a formal reference. The CEO of the company he is working for lives right next door. And we don’t even have a fence between our houses.”

To be honest, whenever I heard those things, I used to get shook up. None of those things were ever covered in any schools, at least the ones I went to. But as time went by I discovered how practical and valuable those tips were in understanding the actual workings of the corporate world. I believe the awareness of these sayings made my 40 years life in corporate world relatively stress free. As a businessman Mr. Dowd was very sharp, and as a person Mr. Dowd was very generous. During his first visit to Manila after our move, he found out that we still did not have many appliances in home due to our financial situation. After his return, we received an air shipment from the head office consisting of an Amana Refrigerator, a Radar Range, two air conditioners, and a telex from Mr. Dowd praising my contributions. 

Before leaving for my overseas assignment, I was asked to work out the logistics of shipment, expenses, and to get a cash advance from a lady named Mary Buckmeir in Finance (known as Accounting in those days). My colleagues told me all kinds of scary stories about dealing with her. While I was searching for her office and asked the head of maintenance about direction he wished me the best of luck. Upon reaching my destination I noticed a lady with glasses sitting at her desk, deeply engrossed in reading some document. 

“Excuse me,” I uttered in a nervous voice. 

“Yes, do you have an appointment,” asked the lady while slowly raising her head. Seeing me shake my head no, she asked, “What do you want?” I told her what I needed and gave her all the papers. 

She started going through every page in detail through her big eye glasses and occasionally expressing some kind of displeasure with an accompanying, however strange noise. After she went through all the papers, which took quite a while, she raised her head again and asked, “where did you go to school?” and before I could answer she continued, "are you an engineer?”  

By then I felt that she must know answer to both having gone through all my documents in detail. I still mustered up courage to give her answers and before I could finish the last word she said, “how did you get this far without paying attention to details?" She pointed out some missing information (even though at the time I thought that was not critical information) and gave me a big lecture. She stated that she was very busy and when people do not fill up information correctly they were wasting her time, their time and in the process a lot of company’s time. 

My ego kicked in and I felt that she had insulted my elite education and technical status. I was fuming inside and felt a tremendous urge to respond. I saw a picture of a dog (believe it was a pitbull with teeth showing) on her desk. In slightly elevated voice I asked her, “is that your dog?” and before I could continue (and how glad I was later that I could not) she intervened and in a very soft emotional voice and said, “yes, it is my dog.” Then she started telling me how nice and loving her dog was. I saw a digital change in her facial expression and tone and she seemed so happy to be talking to me. At that moment I came to the realization that she was a nice person with good heart, and she cared for the company and wanted people to do things right the first time. That was my first education in the field of Quality. Who knows at which precise moment your fortune can change? 

Mary told me that my check would be ready the first thing next morning and all shipment logistics would be taken care of. From then on, every time I went to her office she always started with a big smile, “yes, Armand, what do you need?” And she is the only person I have given the liberty to call me 'Armand'. Not only did we become close friends, but she helped me out with managing my banking and other issues at home (USA) while I was overseas. Many of my colleagues were in total shock when they heard that our department had a baby shower for my wife and she came and brought very nice gifts. For years some people asked me what was my secret. Mary retired from the company in the late 80s and joined her husband in managing their auto dealership. 

About 10 years ago, my wife and I were passing by and noticed the auto dealership that Mary and her husband had owned. Seeing that it was still the same name, I got curious and pulled in. I asked the guy in the parking lot if he knew of Mary. The guy was her son and pointed at a lady sitting in the office. As my wife and I entered the office, we saw the lady in the chair was reading. Hearing the noise of the door, she slowly raised her head and looked at us through those big eye glasses of hers. At first she did not remember me (guess all grey hair on my head) but as I talked a little further she started smiling and with excitement she said, “Hi Armand, how have you been? I believe she was in her mid-80s then but she had the same enthusiasm and passion for work as when I knew her 30 years before.

Reflection: I have been incredibly fortunate in my journey in USA and prior to have met so many kind, caring and helpful individuals; most of whom I have met through chance encounters. They have all played a significant role in the wonderful life I've led.

They have enriched me with an enormous wealth of experiences and stories that have been shared in Friday Reflections through the years. I wouldn't have had such a beautiful career and life without the help and encouragement from so many people. I express my sincere thanks to all those individuals and the readers. Wish you and your families a very happy Thanksgiving.

Part 3 will be published next year.

Comments

[BHSC]

I love this story… it reminds us of some many little important things.

Thank you for sharing

[Humble Warrior]

I love how she toned down her dimeaner when you mentioned her dog... it's the little details that matter

[Sam]

A great story. Glad you could meet her again! You talked about something close to her heart and that made a difference. I remember when I was an intern in India, I would sit with some seniors and chat with them about their life. I was later told not to do that and keep all communications formal. Glad I did not follow the advice rest of my life. Even now, I am more interested to learn something that connects us in our values and experiences vs what you can do for me strictly for business. Wrt, your experience with Mr. Dowd, I am sure he appreciated your work so as to help you in so many ways. I know you have followed the same principles to the next generations!

PS: I have also given only 1 person the allowance to call me "George".

[NJ]

I love personal stories. Thanks for sharing ...

[JC-Cal]

When you receive help and support, you naturally want to give help/support to others. I have also been blessed throughout my life.