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« If hatred answers hatred when will it ever end? | Main | Thanksgiving Reflection: Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching »

November 17, 2016


Posted by FR team Reader comments in the original posting December 2014)

Hi Rajiv,
This is a powerful message which needs to be read by a lot of us who sometimes struggle with the goals we make, even though we think it is the right one for us. We should learn to let go those goals and instead look at what comes our way naturally. Sometimes, working hard on something is not the right answer. Wish you all the best in your journey.
Posted by: Sam | December 05, 2014 at 02:50 AM

Rajiv, this is the first time I am posting a comment. I remember the time when I needed someone to help with my "not so straight English (grammar, haha)" and I was impressed because you wrote it so well (thinking you were only 19 then)! I am glad you found your happiness in writing. I hope Samantha will look up to you some day to become a writer too (she have a notebook and started writing a story with her friend).
Posted by: Amy | December 05, 2014 at 05:39 AM

Not sure why I hv a feeling that I hv read this somewhere some time ago. Possible you published this before.
Thanks for sharing this – ‘Live the Present is the happiest’
Posted by: CH | December 05, 2014 at 06:04 AM

Oh I love this Friday reflection… perfect captures my own life experience:
I'm happier now, and not because of any "things" I've acquired or any "achievements" that have come my way, but for one simple fact: I'm not trying to "become" anything anymore. I'm happy with who I am, and what I am. It's not perfect but I realize the better version of myself doesn't exist in any dreams of tomorrow. It lives in the here and now.
I think he has summarized the process of maturing very , very well.
I am sharing this with my students!
Thank you!
Posted by: from a Professor and Gentleman (email to FR team) | December 05, 2014 at 06:09 AM

Being brave, confident and having good work ethics have taken you far.
Posted by: Josephine Cass | December 05, 2014 at 07:44 AM

Thank you for this article. It could not have come at a much more appropriate time for me. It helped me regain my peace of mind when I was just in the verge of snapping. Thank you once again.
Posted by: G3B | December 05, 2014 at 07:48 AM

All my life I was asked ... "What do you want to be when you grow up?"... I never really had an answer because I felt that life would lead me to where I wanted to be... why define life when there is so much to do and experience? who ever really grows up anyway? Great message - thank you for sharing it! I have been a follower of Friday Reflections since it was started and I have faithfully been following it all these years - love it!
Posted by: Mary | December 05, 2014 at 08:30 AM

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
John Lennon
Posted by: BQN old-timer | December 05, 2014 at 08:52 AM

We all have to learn to recognize success. It comes in many forms, and it doesn't always look the way you expect it to when you're in your twenties. Just because it looks different, doesn't make it less valuable.
Posted by: Thomas | December 05, 2014 at 10:33 AM

All I can say is we need to keep our eyes open because life is not moving the way we planned ahead so much. We don’t know what’s next , who we will meet tomorrow,…etc. Stay hungry like Steven Jobs said.
Posted by: Friend-Japan | December 05, 2014 at 06:20 PM

Nice one. Thxs.
Posted by: MS | December 06, 2014 at 06:24 AM

Thanks for sharing and good to know that Rajiv has really flourished in writing. I can feel the passion and the love that he injects into this writing. It is the personal life story that really touches people.
Posted by: Thinker - Taipei | December 06, 2014 at 07:07 AM

I believe that we are all created with a purpose in life. The challenge is for us to find such purpose. We are given talents and blessings but we may enjoy something different. So, there is a difference between something we are good at and something we enjoy. I may enjoy singing but you don’t want to hear me sing. So, what is the receiver of the result of our life? Is it our Creator, our love ones, or people around us? …………
Posted by: JN | December 06, 2014 at 07:10 AM

I always "had" a great 5-year career plan when I was working. At least that's what most people I know thought. After all, the standard questions for hiring managers in those days were: "where you see yourself to be in 5 years or what do you think you will be doing in 10 years?" In reality, I never had any plan for my life or career. It would be too boring (and shackled) if I actually had one and had to execute to fulfill it. Instead, I just followed my instincts and heart, did the best to my ability and met whatever came my way head on.
Although I never strayed far from the electronics and semiconductor industries, I engaged in different aspects of positions and many had absolutely nothing to do with my training and experiences. As time went on, they all gelled together very nicely and became valuable for the next opportunity that came along.
Looking back, after having retired for 12 years, I have no regret at all as every journey I took enriched my life and enhanced my understanding of life. It is gratifying that I am now able to converse and share experiences with people from different disciplines or walks of life. A planned career path might provide better financial rewards, but it could be very boring and short change your life experiences. By the time you realize it, the clock cannot be turned back.
Posted by: Ex Rable Rouser | December 06, 2014 at 04:46 PM

“no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”
Treasure is the journey itself..
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist
Posted by: Coelho Fan from Malaysia | December 07, 2014 at 11:22 AM

I've never really knew what I wanted to do since I was in school. I know very well what I don't want to do and that sometimes frustrates me. Before I graduated, I've had this 5-year plan put together, and then I continued on with my plan for the next 5 years. Right after the 2nd cycle, I stopped. I didn't know what's next. And I allowed the years to just cruised by.
To be honest, I sometimes feel that there are some things in my career that are not accomplished in my life, but I don't quite know what that is. And I do feel a sense of guilt that maybe, I'm just not planning enough, or doing enough.
This article moved me. It made me realize that just maybe, there are things that I'm doing which I may not be seeing the impact now until later in life. Just like I cannot connect the dots now versus when I'm in the future, looking back at this moment. It also made me realize that I have to believe more. Just a tad bit more.
Posted by: me | December 07, 2014 at 04:13 PM

Do you realize what you have reflected is what are the traits of creative people, entrepreneurs. Many entrepreneur and great achievers started out with one thing and realized success in a different.
Posted by: KJ | December 07, 2014 at 06:43 PM

Rajeev- It takes a heart of a lion to share thoughts the way you have. Kudos for that!
You are creative. Not everyone is. The only thing that has changed is the medium. Rather than emote - now you write. So you are still the same person.
You are fortunate - you had the freedom to set your own goals. You did everything to make your goals a reality not your parents' or your uncles goals. So when life took you on a different path you came out stronger. I tried very hard to set goals for my sons or to steer them towards a “mainstream” career. However, they are both stubborn like me and are pursuing studies of their own interest. Now I am learning to appreciate them for having the guts to do so. I am a strong believer of- everything has a reason for why it happens. There are no accidents.
I have met your adorable son. Enjoy him. And Congratulations on your Film!
Now- I will answer your questions
I ended up in the US for grad school because my mom supported my decision against all her in laws wishes. I am exactly where I want to be - I have a healthy, happy and a sometimes very frustrating family; I love where I am in my job even though I did go through a feeling guilty phase when sacrifices had to be made on the family life front. It helped that I had the full support of my husband and boys at every step; And throughtout my career, my workplace gave me flexibility and options that enabled me to continue to progress.
What I do for a living does not define who I am. I have interests and commitments outside of work. But I am the same personality at work as I am at home. That makes life simpler.
Thanks for a wonderful reflection. I will share it with my boys.
Have a wonderful Holiday season
Posted by: Madhuri | December 16, 2014 at 03:34 PM

Thanks for sharing this. I just shared it on my facebook profile.
The foot note on the post is this "I stumbled on this blog many years back and find most of the articles sync with who I essentially have found myself to be. I go there now and then to read and comment. I'm happier now too...."
I hope many other people get to just BE rather than continue to chase (like a dog's tail) to BECOME based on some set scripts and standards which may not be in tandem with who we are and what we have come to this world to accomplish.
Thanks again for sharing this piece at this time of the year.
Posted by: Mary O | January 09, 2015 at 01:35 AM


What a terrific article. I really appreciate this wisdom.

Thank you for sharing and I will share it with others

Take care


What a nice piece. Being instead of becoming. Live with ease instead of trying harder. Thank you.


What a nice piece. Being instead of becoming. Living with ease instead of trying harder. Thank you.


I remember reading this the first time it was posted and have been thinking recently about where I 'was' at that point and where I am now. I've found through my life, much to my amazement, that working on a 'plan' for me doesn't always give me the best results or happiest moments. Instead, being open to new opportunities (usually unplanned) and just following my interests and what life offers has led to the most growth and happiness. This reflection is a great reminder and I'll point people towards it as a more eloquent explanation than I could give. Thank you.

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