Managing a Diaper Change. The Lessons in Leadership: Part 1

 

Point to Ponder: How many people does it take to change a diaper?

Depends. In some parts of the world: Zero because kids do not wear/have diapers. In most places: One. In big corporations: Many. And when I was in charge of watching a kid: only Three (LEAN).  

Story Line: Managing a Diaper Change. The Lessons in Leadership Part 1.

Several years ago on a weekend afternoon my wife asked me to take care of our grandson while she was going to run some errands. Knowing full well that I was not well versed in the kids affairs, and being aware that I was in a management position in a large corporation, she assigned two of her teenage nephews to assist (keep an eye) me.

I turned on the TV to keep the kid busy while going through some work emails. After about an hour of tranquility, I noticed that the kid was acting uneasy. Noticing my efforts and motivational talk to calm him down were not working, the older nephew Jesli came to rescue. Now Jesli has four brothers and each one had helped their parents take care of the younger ones so he had experience in this area.

Jesli informed me that the kid’s diaper was wet and needed to be changed. Recognizing the crisis, I told Jesli “We should change it.” Jesli, though still young and not having worked in the corporate world, seemed to understand the language of the management, i.e. “We” meant “He”. And for full disclosure (even if you say ‘Shame on me’), I had never changed the diaper ever in my life; mine or some one else’s. So I welcomed Jesli’s pro-activeness and the demonstration of our value: Assume Responsibility.

As a good leader I felt compelled to provide help to Jesli with resources and asked his younger brother Jomari (the supply change expert) to bring a new diaper along with other supplies needed for the process.

While I was supervising the process I was continuously offering some tips and tricks to Jesli about proper alignment of diaper to the body, wiping and cleaning, and the management of disposable items. Now Jesli had heard that the uncle was some “manager” in a big company so he decided not to dispute any of my instructions (even though he had the experience changing many diapers before) thinking that having worked for one of the largest companies in the world, The Uncle might know something better.

Soon after my wife came home she noticed that the diaper was leaking. Instead of focusing on 5W and 1H method of problem solving, she went straight to the bottom line “Who changed the Diaper?”

Jesli, just like a good employee at work, took one for the team and said, “I am sorry Po. Tita I will be more careful next time.”

After listening to a lecture on paying attention to details, things got better and tranquility prevailed again in the home.

Reflection: I have often reflected on this experience and shared this story with many friends at work and home. Instead of giving instructions to Jesli about something I did not know anything about (no experience in doing before, not even book knowledge), I should have trusted him to do the job which I myself had assigned to him. Also it would be good for me to learn the process that, despite having raised two good children, I had never done and now can be useful on my two (soon to be three) grandsons.

Reminded me of An Ancient Chinese Wisdom: Three mistakes a manager must avoid

• Having good people and not know them
• Knowing good people and not use them
• Using good people and not trust them.

And fourth one from this semi-wise man: Giving instructions about something you don’t know anything about.

Comments

[Debasree]

What a concise and power packed summary, Anand!!
You made my day!

This I could connect with another recent experience in course of a "mandatory" training program i was attending couple of days back titled "Build and Lead".
There, we were made into groups of 4, blindfolded and asked to form a five pointed star with a rope - all time-capped. Enthusiastic as always, we "all" took charge, discussed, progressed and lost track multiple times - finally, a situational leader emerged among the 4 of us - who was otherwise holding a low profile until then; He seemed to have the most clarity on how to achieve this. And with no arguments/ego, in an unsaid manner rest of us trusted him and contributed to a common goal. And voila, we could form a perfect star while none of the other 3 teams were anywhere close to completion.

The question here is - who is the leader/manager here?
The one who was followed
The one who allowed some body else to lead
The one who trusted and followed
In my eyes, all showed immense courage in passing/holding control with trust and contribution.

My take away from that experience is , a leader's job is to bring out the leader in others.

I spend this time amidst the chaos of my current work day, all because your article inspired me to pen this down.

Thanks Anand...
Regards
Debasree

[CH]

Ha! Ha! Good analogy.

[BHSC]

This is great… a real keeper.. and should be taught in every management class ever offered.

Thanks for sharing!!!

[PEJ]

Insightful as always. And extremely timely (for me) with a new grandson due within the next week. Hope all is well with you and the family.

[IlliniGrad]

Reading this makes me think of the managers that I thrived under, where I was able to accomplish the most and grow the most, were the one's who trusted me to get the job done and didn't regularly tell me 'how to do it'. Sure I would ask questions from time to time and use my manager as a sounding board but I never felt 'directed' like 'this is where you need to go' and I was able to shape my own vision of what I wanted the world to look like and go work to make it happen. My hope is that everyone has the opportunity to work for such a manager (leader).

[Shimano]

It seems to me that your wise wife had the true leadership role in this story. Interestingly this LEAN manager neither took charge of the diaper change, nor took responsibility when the delegated change was probelmatic. Is this good leadership? LOL. Well, perhaps all's well that ends well.

In Japan, there is a aphorism, "If you want good mochi rice, go to the mochi rice shop." (Mochi wa, mochi ya). The intended meaning is, leave it to the professionals if you want a professional job.

But I have always disliked this phrase, since I believe it is best to try things for oneself, even if failure results. If at first you don't succeed...try, try again. When I was learning to repair bicycles as a university student, I volunteered to restore a friend's bike for free, providing he bought me the parts and any necessary tools. We went together to the bicycle shop and bought some parts, but then I made a mistake and broke one of the new tools for removing a chain link. So we went back to the bicycle shop to get another one of those tools. The shop owner chastised me, "mochi wa, mochi ya". And I replied to the man, "Well everyone has to start somewhere. Were you born with your expertise, or did you acquire it through practice and learning from errors?". I never went back to that shop. And I am still quite happy to tinker with things, even if I might run some risk of not getting it right the first time.

So in the position of this grandpa, I hope that I would not hesitate to "get my hands dirty" at least once and learn to change the diaper myself first. Leading by example before delegating is sometimes important. However, I admit there are times when delegating a task can both contribute to career growth of team members, and simultaneously keep me from getting my hands too messy.

[Pulao Penang]

Well, you know what? This story brings back memory of my dad..
When my first son was born, he was left with him at home..
Well, fair enough that during our childhood, there were no such thing as disposable diaper.. Well, for some reason, my dad had to change my son’s diaper.. and guess what? He wore them the wrong way. Instead of zapping them in front, he zapped them behind.. and you know what, he blamed the vendor for not providing any manual.. Guess guys work better with manual..

[SG]

I love reading Friday reflections and today's diaper lesson is funny and true and anyone in office environment can relate to it :)

[Mujesh]

Ha ha. Nice lesson in management Anand. Hits the point home much better than those mgmt books. There was a hidden point in the conversation, something we all take for granted. Seniority == experience == de facto wisdom (in all areas) and obviously that wisdom not only tries to control the team but also influences their performance (wait! I have seen someone doing that.... Me!!!).

This story made me laugh, think and learn all at the same time :-). With your permission, would like to share it onwards.

Keep the wisdom coming :-)

[ana]

thank you for sharing :)

[Joalica]

hahaha, it was such a funny story that you made me laugh in tears!! very wise sayings below, and I think when we give instructions to our employees in areas they're content experts while we don't know much about, we still feel obliged to help, and the help often times translated to some better thoughts/ tips/inputs/instructions on top of their actions/plans. It might be the "eagle" thing inside ourselves as "Manager". It's actually perfectly ok to add mgmt. value in the last phase of recognition/positive reinforcement/and retrospective on what could be done to make it even better!!

•Having good people and not know them
•Knowing good people and not use them
•Using good people and not trust them.
Giving instructions about something you don’t know anything about.

[Anand]

To Mujesh and all the readers of Friday Reflections
It is OK to share any article of FR as well as cartoons (keep the original source reference that is under the cartoons) to any one in the world. The theme of FR is Things that are given away are never lost. So in that spirit share as much as you like. Let Good things only multiply.

[alex]

Great story on how to effectively apply managerial, quality and logistical skills to very complicated process of changing diapers;
We all know, w/o right management, this process can get very messy...

[ShardaMandir student]

One of the best reads of the weekend :)

[AV]

I just love it. Diaper lessons should be read by managers....