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November 15, 2012



A presidential election is probably one of those circumstances that elicits in us a fearfulness: The feeling may be something like, "If my candidate doesn't win...and If I don't convince all those around me to vote for my candidate, then bad things will happen."

Over time, I have come to realize that life is too often governed by this sort of fear.

That is, whenever I worry about my job or family, whenever I am nervous about getting my ticket to a show, or my seat in a restaurant, or my parking space, or whatever else I think I am entitled to have... this is usually an emotional reaction generally out of fear (If I don't get that thing, my day will be ruined, or my child will cry, or I won't have enough time to meet the schedule, etc.)

To be in this state of perpetual worry puts one in a "me-first-and-damn-the-rest" mode, that generally does not earn any points for social grace or likability. It can be utterly counter-effective. Meanwhile I could watch how others can keep cool and be friendly to others, and can literally take the advantage in a situation by asking permission to receive it (rather than trying to steal it like a football). My father was one such person who had such a midas touch in public situations.

But this fearfulness is at heart a feeling about failure due to lack of control. By reminding myself to step outside of the "me-first" shell, I, too can see the big picture and regain control of my situation. I can accept the possibility of not always getting the ticket, or seat, or parking space. I can see others still stuck in that fearful mode, and understand the value of rising above it.

This, the freedom of choosing one's behaviors and reactions despite scarcity or opposition, is also what Viktor Frankl learned in the nazi concentration camps, and what he taught to others.

CH Friend

I guess Rajiv was not the only one with this issue this year.
Seems like so many people went crazy
What happened to the US melting pot. All of one and one for all?
We are more divisive than ever, with more mis-information going around than ever. (Don’t confuse me with the facts. I know what I believe.)
We are all supposed to be Americans. Aren’t we?

Mark Dennen

Recalling the quotation from the Bible, "Before trying to remove a splinter from another person's eye, first take the plank out of your own eye so you can see more clearly."

FB can be very irritating. I have a friend who posts comments from a group, "I'm informed so I don't vote Republican." Another one I find objectionable is the constant use of the phrase, "It's Bush's fault.....". This reminds me of people who constantly blame their parents even when they are 50+ years old. At some point in life, people have to accept responsibility and stop blaming others as it does nothing to solve the problem. Besides, I think pretty much everyone comes from a disfunctional family and after a few drinks, they are more than willing to share the details.


A very well timed article…

I think 2013 will bring changes… and I am speaking far beyond what might happen to our iMBO’s or at work (look at the middle east just in the last 2 days).

While nervousness might be the natural response, it is not helpful (to oneself or others)… but recalling the experiences of someone like Frankl, and his lessons and personal wisdom, gives us a path.

2013 can be a great opportunity to become much more mature.

Best regards

Blog PathToYourself

Could you be so kind and share some links to other sources that have data about this theme just in case you are aware of any.

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