Friday Reflections

The Treasure was the Journey Itself (and the lessons learned and shared)

 

 

POINT TO PONDER

 “The treasure was the journey itself, the discoveries he made, and the wisdom he acquired.”

                                                                ~Anna Hassapi

STORY LINE Recently Mark Dennen, a good friend, retired at a young age after a very successful career in sales as an executive of a multinational company.  A day before he boarded the plane to the place of retirement, Mark was gracious enough to satisfy my curiosity by sharing his experiences, lessons learned and impart the wisdom acquired through the years. Here are a few of the many things I captured.

 

1.   Customers are looking for desired outcomes not just products. (You are not buying a drill, but a means to make a hole or perhaps fasten boards with a screw)

2.   Presentations: People come to hear me speak, not to read my slides. 

3.   Three things that helped him to be successful:   Work Hard, Be Respectful and Don’t waste money. 

4.   Why he took accounting and business classes:   In any company, it is all about making money for the stockholders. The best (most secure) jobs are those directly related to revenue generation

5.   Risk Taking: People spend too much time worrying about smallest  incidents which could impact them by $1 to $5 million, instead they should be focused on those could impact them by $5B-$10B (The Power Curve)

6.   Status: It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.

7.   Appreciation: Selling is personal and small things make a big difference such as a hand written Thank You, a small gift (specialty tea, jam, or flowers for the spouse at dinner), the sharing of an article or even a personal photograph.  

8.   Ethics: It’s easy to have high ethics when you are making lots of money (it’s easy to be good with no temptations), but it is far harder when times are bad. 

9.    “If only thing you do is follow a recipe, then you are not a good cook.”

10.  During a crisis, usually the first thing to get dropped is courtesy. (Unfortunately)

11.  Read. Read. Knowledge is the differentiator. In the age of chivalry, friendly knights would greet each other by raising their visor with their right hand (the hand which normally held the sword).    The handshake probably evolved in a similar manner, to demonstrate that each person was not holding a weapon.  Today, most  business discussions (interviews, sales presentations, claim settlements, etc.)  begin with the standard handshake, but it is the short verbal handshake immediately following which can establish the tone for the success or failure of the meeting. 

Meetings are like a chess game, there are variety of openings and one can never accurately predict how they are going to start.  It could be the weather, politics, sports, medicine, finance or pets, but regardless of the topic, it would be helpful if you could engage in the discussion and establish some level of competency, thus creating a favorable impression.  The best way to do this, in my opinion, is to read from a variety of credible sources on a daily basis to improve your chances in this initial engagement. For newspapers, I like the NY Times and the Wall Street Journal and although many will have problems with their Op-Ed pages, both are well-written, very credible and cover diverse topics.  For magazines, Scientific American, the Economist and Fortune cover a variety of topics and events of interest to a variety of professionals.   Everyone will have their own preferences, but the important thing is be read, to be aware and be current. 

12.  Interview: Competing against many who want the job. What differentiates you, all happens in just a brief conversation. Once you get the position, then how you perform is all that matters. One interview: a Ph.D., from a prestigious university, when asked,  “What do you read?, answered,  “I read my phone.”  (not a good answer). 

 

REFLECTION 

Thank You Mark. “Things that are given away are never lost.”

 

You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression...?

POINT TO PONDER

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes." 

                                        -Sally Field    

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

Usually first impressions are what we judge people on. Often, it is the only chance that we have to tell someone who we are. So much rests on the first encounter that it can be a job in itself to put our best foot forward. It's sometimes hard to accept that we can't help what another thinks of us. We can do the best we can and put our best self on display and still we are judged harshly, poorly. That we can't control. 

    What we can do is remember to be kind to others when we first meet them - to hold off judgement, to forgive an awkward comment, and understand that others are struggling with their own problems as well. 

    I often think about Boo Radley from Harper Lee's classic novel, "To Kill a Mockingbird." Boo was judged by reclusive behavior, his haunted looks, and the rumors in town that he was a horrible person. When the central characters in the book, two children, are saved by Boo from an attack from another adult, we start to see past the image to who the man really is. 

    We never do get a second chance to make a first impression but sometimes the first impression is not all it's cracked up to be. There have been countless crooks, murderers, and thieves that appear to be respectable on first glance. Ted Bundy ring a bell? 

    Then there are those like Boo Radley that we judge too soon. A teacher once said to me, "if you can hold out just long enough from deciding on what a thing is, then maybe we can see what it truly can be." 

 

 

The Indivisible Whole

POINT TO PONDER

“One cannot expect to do well in one compartment of life while not doing well in other. Life is one indivisible whole.”

                            -Mahatma Gandhi

 

REFLECTION

Similarly one cannot have one set of principles and values when convenient and other set when not convenient.

To Forgive.

POINT TO PONDER

"...it isn't cruelty or shame that characterizes the human race. It's forgiveness that makes us what we are... without that there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love and we love because we can forgive."

                                             - Gregory David Roberts (from his novel "Shantaram")

 

REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

In the spirit of Easter this coming weekend I wanted to touch on the subject of forgiveness. I searched for stories that told tales of people forgiving another. The structure was similar, a person was done wrong and had to find the power to forgive another that had done them harm. Many stories were touching and moving, but always it seemed, the stories point of view was coming from the place of being a victim. 

    I started to think about all the wrongs that had been done to me. I started to feel hurt - a bit angry even - about events that happened in my past where I had been wronged. It was easy to conjure those images, feelings, and stories. I thought about the forgiveness I had given and how much power I felt to have been able to let go and move on from a hurt I'd endured. 

    Then as if my brain was trying to play devil's advocate, I remembered a few instances I'd put out of my brain - acts that I had done that hurt other people I loved. I hurt people without realizing it and I often put it out of my mind, became defensive, and refused to acknowledge the pain thinking that time would be the greatest healer. Often time isn't enough, time without acknowledgement just allows those injuries to scab over, allows a chasm to grow in the silence. 

    Asking for forgiveness is hard. Far harder because you must look at yourself, what you've done, and acknowledge pain and grief. Asking for forgiveness puts you in a position of submission, of vulnerability, and admission. Ultimately, you may not get the forgiveness you are looking for. You release control once you ask for forgiveness, you give that right to the person who you have caused pain. So more often than not, we can't even bring ourselves to apologize and ask for forgiveness. 

    Why can't we ask? Why don't we confront our mistakes? Why do we run from them?

    Fear.

    We fear being rejected, punished, and hurt ourselves. We fear the power we have to cause another pain, we fear the unknown of being completely at surrender with another human being. It takes love and faith to ask someone you have hurt for forgiveness and it takes the same to be forgiven in return. 

    Whatever your personal or religious beliefs - if there is a loose end not tied up in your life, a person you couldn't face because of a mistake you made - I encourage you to acknowledge it. You might not always get the forgiveness in the time that you want or in the way that you need, but then again, you might. You just might...

    Because in that act, to acknowledge and submit, you chose to love and be loved in return.