Friday Reflections

You never get a second chance to make a first impression

POINT TO PONDER

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  -MAYA ANGELOU

 

STORYLINE- by Rajiv Shah

Let's try an experiment. I want you to turn the lights down. Sit back, close your eyes (only after you read what to do!) and try to relive your first important job interview.

What do you remember of the interviewer? Where did you go? Which company was it for? Did you prepare? What did you eat before? Did you eat at all? What were you wearing? What were they wearing? What did you both talk about? How did it end? What did you do when you got home?

And two final questions: how did you feel while you were on the interview and how did the interviewer make you feel?

Now turn on the lights, sit back upright and let's go over what you came up with. How many details did you remember? What was stronger; the details and specifics of the interview or how you were feeling? For me, and I'm betting a lot of you, the remembering how you felt was strongest. Please let me know in the feedback this week which was strongest.

REFLECTION

I recently saw an incredible film titled, “Waltz with Bashir” that talked about a study performed to test human response to memory. According to the film, a psychological test was given to a group of people showing ten various childhood images of them. Nine of these images were really from their childhood, the tenth being a fabrication - their picture pasted (photoshop)into a photo with a background of a fairground they had never visited.

Eighty percent of the subjects recognized themselves in the fake photo and believed that they had really gone to that fairground. The other twenty percent couldn't fully remember but when shown the picture a second time, the subjects claimed that they now remembered the image. What was astonishing was that both groups eventually linked an emotional attachment to the photo stating things about the photo being, “such a wonderful day at the park with my parents.”[1]

According to the film, “memory fills the holes (in ones memory) with things that never happened.” Based on this test, and possibly our experiment, what seems to be most important aren't the details of the memory itself - often we will make them up based on emotion - but how a given memory, event, or person makes us feel as Maya Angelou claims. 

CITATIONS:
 
1 & 2. Folman, Ari. Waltz with Bashir. Sony Pictures Classics, 2008.

Courage is not a lack of fear, but ...

POINT TO PONDER

Courage is not a lack of fear, but the ability to act in spite of it.
 

STORYLINE

Wesley Autrey was waiting for the New York subway's No.1 train with his two young daughters the afternoon of January 2, 2007. It was like most days in Harlem when he took his daughters to their elementary school before he headed off to his construction job downtown.

Except on this morning another passenger, Cameron Hellopter, 20, collapsed on the platform as his body started to convulse. Autrey and two women rushed to his side and helped Mr. Hellopter up. He managed to stand on his own for a second as the rumble from the approaching train filled the station. Then, Cameron Hellopter's body gave out and he fell off the platform and onto the train tracks, between two rails.

Wesley Autrey could have done what most would have - stood idly by and hoped for the best as the trains headlights beamed into the station. Instead, Mr. Autrey jumped onto the tracks. 

In a space about a foot deep, Wesley Autrey pressed Hellopter's body as far down as he could as the train rumbled above them, just inches from Autrey's head. Autry would later find grease marks from the train on his blue knit cap after the ordeal. Five cars in total passed over the two men.

Onlookers screamed as the train screeched to a halt. Then a voice came from underneath the train, “We're O.K. down here, but I've got two daughters up there. Let them know their father's okay.”

Wesley Autrey's heroics made national headlines and the media deemed him the “hero of Harlem.” On January 4th, 2007, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg said this about Autrey, “Wesley's astonishing bravery - saving a life in the face on an oncoming subway car - is an inspiration not just to New Yorkers, but the entire world. His courageous rescue of a complete stranger is a reminder of how we are surrounded by everyday heroes...”

REFLECTION

I decided to write this reflection in response to a reader's comments from last week. The question that was posed was, “how do we get out from fear for someone whom had been in that situation for a long time. The fear portion might be even considered as 'Comfort Zone' for someone whom had not tried to come out.” The question is interesting because I believe many of us have grown so used to acting out of fear that it has been become a 'comfort zone' as this reader suggests.

I believe the answer lies within the response from Wesley Autrey regarding his ability to act, “I had to make a split decision,” and ultimately, “I did what I felt was right.”     So to answer this readers question I present a simple solution  - make the decision to act and do it based on what you feel is right in your heart. Get out of your comfort zone and take action. Don't think about it. Make the decision inspite of fear. If Wesley Autrey had thought about what to do, had given in to fear, Cameron Hellopter would be dead today. So I challenge readers to let your heart be your guide and to act in the face of fear just as Wesley Autrey had done that fateful afternoon on January 2, 2007.

…And they flew.

 
POINT TO PONDER:
 
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.” - Paulo Coelho 
 
 
STORYLINE:
 
“Come to the edge,” he said.
They said, “we are afraid.”
“Come to the edge,” he said.
They came. He pushed them...
and they flew.
        -- Guillaume Apollinaire
 
 
REFLECTION by Rajiv Shah

Two voices live within all of us - one of possibility and one of fear.

One often dominates the other and it is often fear that wins. It’s safer and more predictable. It hedges the bets before they've even been made. It lives in us all, a seeming friend concerned about our well-being, whispering to us whenever we move into the unknown. When we dare to push the limits of our capabilities and the breadth of our power, it comes to our side. It wants us to play safe. It feeds on our insecurities and cultivates our failures. It uses disappointment against us, putting it on display whenever we begin to strive for something greater.

We listen to this voice when we push back our hopes and dreams. Fear works from a negative – from something being taken, from not being control, and most dangerous - not being good enough. If that is the voice we choose and that is what we put out – then that is exactly what we will get back in return.

What if we chose the opposite? Try it. It's scary as hell. Do something you've wanted that means a lot to you and that you've been putting off. Start small. It could be anything – making a phone call to someone you think is important, smiling at people even though they may not smile back, getting to the gym, or taking that first step to pursuing your dreams. The beauty is that positivity works the same way, the more you put out and the more will come back.

See if that voice comes in. The one that tells you that it's silly, that it won't work, and that it's not for you right now. Pay attention to what it says and to why you will or will not listen anymore. I almost guarantee that it will be there every step of the way. The choice will be yours whether you give in to it.

Going Lean?