Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln were two presidents who were gifted story tellers with a quick wit. They often told jokes to make a key point or to help relieve stress in people around them. February is the birth month of these well known and well liked presidents. (Ronald Reagan was born on February 6th 1911 and Abraham Lincoln was born on February 12, 1809).
In these stressful times for some people, with whatever is going on their environment (War, Christmas Bills, Annual Performance Appraisals, Stock Market, Economy, Tax Season etc.), I thought it appropriate to share some of their stories. This week's stories belong to President Reagan.
1. In the first year of his Presidency, Reagan was rushed to the hospital when a bullet went through his body during an assassination attempt. As the doctors were about to perform a surgery on him, and even though he was bleeding and in intense pain, he could not contain his sense of humor. He said to the doctors, "I hope you are all Republicans." The chief doctor countered, "I am a Democrat but for today I will be a Republican for you, Mr. President." Later, when his wife Nancy arrived at the hospital, President Reagan said, 'Honey I forgot to duck."
2. When it became known that he would occasionally fall asleep at the White House during the day, he said, "I've given my aides instructions that if trouble breaks out in any of the world's hot spots, they should wake me up immediately — even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting." And, "Things have been awfully busy at the White House lately. I've really been burning the mid-day oil."
3. There was a fellow that was on his way to a mountain resort, and a policeman stopped him and said, "Did you know you're driving without taillights?" And the driver hopped out of the car. He was so badly shaken that the officer took pity on him and said, "Well, now, wait a minute. Calm down. It's not that serious an infraction." The fellow said, "It may not mean much to you, but to me it means I've lost my trailer, my wife, and four kids!"
4. The former president was telling a group once about his tumultuous days as governor of California during the rebellious sixties and early 70s. He said he had a meeting with some of the organizers of the protests. They came into his office wearing t-shirts and jeans, and some were barefoot. Their spokesman began, "Governor, it's impossible for your generation to understand us.... You didn't grow up in a world of instant electronic communications, of cybernetics, of men computing in seconds what once took months, even years, or jet travel, nuclear power, and journeys into space...." When the young man finished, Reagan said, "You're absolutely right. Our generation didn't have those things when we were growing up. We invented them."
5. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities -- one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist -- their parents took them to a psychiatrist. First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. "What's the matter?" the psychiatrist asked, baffled. "Don't you want to play with any of the toys?" "Yes," the little boy bawled, "but if I did I'd only break them."
Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. "What do you think you're doing?" the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. "With all this manure," the little boy replied, beaming, "there must be a pony in here somewhere!" Reagan told the joke so often that it got to be kind of a joke with the rest of his staff. Whenever something would go wrong, somebody on the staff would be sure to say, "There must be a pony in here somewhere."
6. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in three short phrases. If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
7. Now let me tell you the most popular one from last year’s FRs about Reagan. He, as you know, loved horses and rode them on his ranch. During a visit to England, he stayed at the Windsor Palace and the Queen who has a great collection of horses invited him to a relaxing ride through the country side with her. So they both saddled up and ventured off into the hilly country side with of-course the security staff trailing behind to give them privacy for their discussions. The Queen and her horse were leading and they started a climb up a hill with Reagan just behind them. Queen’s horse started release some gas and Queen realized he is not stopping and the president is behind could be in quite a bit of discomfort of the smell. So she turns around and tells Reagan “Mr. President, I am very sorry”. And Reagan quickly responds and says, “No problem, I thought it was the horse”! This is not made up. It was actually quoted by one of the security staff who was close enough to hear the conversation!