Our experiences define us but can also hold us to outdated beliefs and focusing on what can't work rather than what will.
STORYLINEby Rajiv Shah
Slavomir Rawicz' “The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom” recounts Rawicz' incarceration by the Russian military in a Siberian POW camp, and how he led six prisoners over 4,000 miles – through the unforgiving Siberian winter terrain, Gobi desert, Tibet, Himalayas, and India - to their freedom.
During his early days in prison, Rawicz's first ally becomes Khabarov, a man who has dreamed of escape ever since his incarceration, four years prior. He has studied the terrain, how to create a diversion, and what it will take to survive in the excruciating climate that surrounds the jail – nature proving to be the harshest prison of all.
When a snow storm blows in and makes visibility low, Rawicz decides that it is the best time to escape. The blizzard will cloak their break from the prison and cover their tracks as they trek deep into the wilderness. They are set to go.
Rawicz wakes his friend Khabarov and tells him it is time, that the conditions couldn't better for their escape. Khabarov balks. He goes through the scenario in his mind, as he has many times before, eventually counting all the ways their plan will fail, even though the opportunity of freedom is right in front of him.
His years in prison, his dreams of escape, his research and experience come to a head in that pivotal moment, and Khabarov chooses not to go with his friend. He stays behind, fearful and convinced by his experiences that their plan will not work. He can't change and his experiences in the prison keep him from his freedom - a freedom that Rawicz and his six companions find.
REFLECTION
Icame across the title for this reflection* while perusing the gift shop at the Getty Villa in Malibu. On a magnet was this little tidbit of wisdom from J. Paul Getty, and I've been thinking about it ever since.
Around the world, we are on the brink of major change economically and socially. Change that has left our leaders in great upheaval and wondering the best course of action. Change that has forced us to reexamine how we choose to live.
There are people that believe that the end is near. I believe that what is happening is not the end, but a new beginning, a shift in the way we live. We are being forced to change our daily habits. Does that mean we are close to the end?
Not in my opinion. We are just having to learn a new way. Our experiences define us but can also hold us to outdated beliefs and focusing on what can't work rather than what will. Much like Rawicz and Khabarov in the story, our experiences can keep us from acknowledging the conditions currently in front of us. Often our experiences lead us to focus on the harsh realities rather than the possibilities for change and growth. Especially in today's climate, not taking any action and continuing to proceed in the same way is a prison unto itself.
*Title quoted from J. Paul Getty
Originally Published on May 13, 2016. Repeat due to relevance in current globdal enviornment of rapid change.
Points to Ponder: “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – Mark Twain
Story Line: July 16th is the birth anniversary of someone I know from the day I was born. It is also birthday of three wonderful people I met through my various work assignments. Happy Birthday.
The person I know from childhood taught me many good lessons through mentoring, coaching and care. Over past 16 years, I have shared those lessons in Friday Reflections. Not so well versed in Science and other school subjects, He (my father) along with my mother spent considerable time giving me exposure to three areas they considered as very valuable for life; Reading, Sports and Theater.
When it came to theater, I was nervous at first, afraid that I may look silly or foolish in front of the audience and they would laugh at me. To that he would say “If you can make people laugh with your silliness and make them happy; You did good.” He emphasized that too much thinking would cause nervousness. He taught me how to perform (sing, act, dance) impromptu to gain confidence. His encouraging words were “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
Reflection: Today, I like to share how I have incorporated some of his learnings in my life. A break from normal FR subjects to have some lighter moments. Each video is a few seconds from longer events.
Dance like no one is watching: Penang, Malaysia in 2005. Intel Materials Group World Wide Summit.
Sing like no one is listening: Suva, Fiji in 2015
Love like you’ve never been hurt:Campbell, California in 2011.Dinner after our staff meeting. Caution: handle with care. you may never have been hurt before but after this activity you might.
Live like it is heaven on earth. An Evening in Okinawa, Japan, 2020. In Okinawan Cuisine. Snapshots from a long evening of dancing.
And It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work*: In the streets of Busan, Korea in 2013. Celebration of the United Nations Day Anniversary on the beachfront road.
I hope my father would be proud of my impromptu adventures. Happy 94th Birth Anniversary.
*This line from a song “Come from my heart” by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -MAYA ANGELOU
STORYLINE- by Rajiv Shah
Let's try an experiment. I want you to turn the lights down. Sit back, close your eyes (only after you read what to do!) and try to relive your first important job interview.
What do you remember of the interviewer? Where did you go? Which company was it for? Did you prepare? What did you eat before? Did you eat at all? What were you wearing? What were they wearing? What did you both talk about? How did it end? What did you do when you got home?
And two final questions: how did you feel while you were on the interview and how did the interviewer make you feel?
Now turn on the lights, sit back upright and let's go over what you came up with. How many details did you remember? What was stronger; the details and specifics of the interview or how you were feeling? For me, and I'm betting a lot of you, the remembering how you felt was strongest. Please let me know in the feedback this week which was strongest.
REFLECTION
I recently saw an incredible film titled, “Waltz with Bashir” that talked about a study performed to test human response to memory. According to the film, a psychological test was given to a group of people showing ten various childhood images of them. Nine of these images were really from their childhood, the tenth being a fabrication - their picture pasted (photoshop)into a photo with a background of a fairground they had never visited.
Eighty percent of the subjects recognized themselves in the fake photo and believed that they had really gone to that fairground. The other twenty percent couldn't fully remember but when shown the picture a second time, the subjects claimed that they now remembered the image. What was astonishing was that both groups eventually linked an emotional attachment to the photo stating things about the photo being, “such a wonderful day at the park with my parents.”[1]
According to the film, “memory fills the holes (in ones memory) with things that never happened.” Based on this test, and possibly our experiment, what seems to be most important aren't the details of the memory itself - often we will make them up based on emotion - but how a given memory, event, or person makes us feel as Maya Angelou claims.
CITATIONS:
1 & 2. Folman, Ari. Waltz with Bashir. Sony Pictures Classics, 2008.
I was interviewing for an internship at a high-tech company. I borrowed my brother's suit to accompany my long-sleeve shirt and tie. I borrowed my roommate's car that had no AC on a really warm day.
I signed in at the lobby, then was greeted by the hiring manager. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt and tie. Upon entering the conference room, I was introduced to a peer of the hiring manager, very friendly and all-smiles. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt but no tie. Next to him was their boss, very friendly with fatherly mannerisms. He was wearing a short-sleeve shirt and blue denim pants. Everything else is a blur.
I expected formal but was met with casual. Confusion probably sums up how I felt during and immediately after the interview. I was hired, so I must have said something they liked.
The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have. – Randy Pausch
Story line: It was summer of 1991. We were returning from vacation from Pacific Northwest. Traffic had come to a stand still on the Highway 505. After a while, traffic started moving very slowly and we reached the location of the traffic jam. Horrific accident, worst I have witnessed in my life; I still shiver thinking about it. Cars were slowing down or had completely stopped to witness the terrible human tragedy. After passing the scene, people seemed stunned silent in their cars and traffic was moving way below the speed limit. But after about 20 minutes cars gradually started picking up speed and very soon it was back to “let the old ways roll.” Many cars started speeding way above the speed limit. Since that day, I have carefully witnessed the movement of the cars while crossing accidents on the road. Unfortunately the behavior I witnessed on that fateful day in 1991 continues to repeat.
During this Pandemic, I think often about this experience. In the beginning months of Covid, there was overwhelming load of information circulating amongst well-meaning friends and social networks about; human connections, respect for nature, environment, love for all living beings, “essential workers”, simpler life, prevention focus and more. I can go on and on about the reflections and realizations that made us think and act deeper. People seemed to recognize that “The things that matter most should not be put at the mercy of the things that matter least.” This event brought many people closer, made environment cleaner and raised prevention awareness.
Reflection: However as the Pandemic shows the sign of subsiding, my mind keeps drifting to that day in 1991.
As the old saying goes, “Things that come to you come at a time when you need them the most to go to the next level”. Few days ago, I remembered a gift I had received a decade ago from a friend from Costa Rica. It was the book called: The Last Lecture by Professor Randy Pausch. Randy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had few months to live. He delivered his “Last Lecture” titled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” in September 2007. The Last Lecture talk series was based on the theme “What wisdom would you try to impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?”
The book is worth reading not only to reflect on what world went through in past 18 months but also to shape bright wonderful future for us. Next month happens to be the 13th anniversary of Randy Pausch’s last day on earth. (July 25, 2008).
The shorter video on the top of this article covers some key messages from his book. For people interested in learning further, below is the link to his full lecture.
“It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s about how to lead your life…If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.”
Points to Ponder: Lives of great men all remind us We can make our lives sublime, And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time. -- From A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Story Line: It was on this date (June 18) 31 years ago. I had just left my company campus in Fremont to go to Center of Performing Arts in San Jose to attend the memorial service for the man who had left this world after making major impact on mankind through his invention, entrepreneurship and statesmanship. My reason for going there was to pay my respect to the man who had left a lifelong memory and lesson in one short encounter I had with him in 1984. And I was not the only one. One Local Newspaper had seven full pages of tributes for this man by many people whose life he had touched. On the way, these stories started rolling through my mind. Here are a few told by some of these people.
There was a young man who had gotten a job at Fairchild Semiconductor to help pay for his schooling at San Jose State. During company sponsored ski trip to Tahoe, he and the fellow sitting next to him started chatting. This fellow showed a lot of interest in what this young man was doing as a technician and asked questions about his other interests. They chatted entire trip, had great time together and according to young man “He seemed interested in making me feel good about life in general and having a swell of a trip.” Only upon return he found out that this “nice guy” next to him was Bob Noyce, the inventor of integrated circuit and the founder of Fairchild Semiconductor.
During one industry event, a company CEO and his team ran into Bob. After CEO introduced his staff to Bob, he turned to one of his younger engineer who had just come to town to assist with equipment installation in Fab. “This is Dr. Noyce of Intel” The engineer shook Bob’s hand and asked “Which fab do you work at?” After the laughter subsided, Noyce humbly said, “All of them.” Little did the engineer know at that time that Bob Noyce was the founder of Intel and also cofounder of Sematech.
Then there was a story of Fairchild employees who were in LA for a conference. After a long day they were relaxing by the hotel pool and Bob Noyce came by. One of the salesman who was in jovial mood made a pretty good jackknife dive off the 3 meter board. As he emerged from the water he challenged Bob to top that. Bob climbed 3 meter board and made a perfect 2 ½ flip drive. Everyone was stunned. Several weeks later they found out that Bob was a college diving champion. Despite his many talents Bob never boasted about his accomplishments.
Bob used to sponsor little league baseball. Once while he was visiting his team, some kids offered him to bat. It was meant to be for fun. Once Bob got to the plate, his competitive spirit kicked in and when one kid pitched the ball, Bob hit it out of the ballpark. Then he ran through the bases and jumped with joy while landing on the home plate. Realizing there were no cheers going on, he looked at the kids and spectaors. Noticing their stunned faces, he realized what he had done and apologized.
There were many such stories filling the seven full pages of newspaper; people recounting how Bob loved to fly planes, how he motivated people to hang glide, scuba dive, and ski in scary places. He almost never missed company softball games. Then there were many memories of Wednesday meetings of the madrigal singing group he conducted, his encouragement to people to start new ventures, and his refusal to stop pursuing integrated circuits design venture when sales department strongly advised against it. I have treasured all seven pages and any story I have come across about Bob. But for now only one more….
Reflection: I had good fortune to meet Bob in March 1984, few weeks after I had joined Intel. I didn’t know much about Robert Noyce then that I know now. But just like the young man in the first story, he showed great interest in me by asking questions and made me feel good. His gentle smile, calm voice and humility are forever fresh in my mind. When I asked if he had any advice for a new person like me, he said “Young man (that was long time ago), if you want to be successful in this industry, be ready to change document before ink is dry.”
Studying the lives of people who have made an incredible impact on world, one thing stands out; there was no easy path. They encountered many hurdles and at each inflection point they had to reinvent themselves; learn new skills, try new approaches and continue their work with passion for excellence.
The life of Robert Noyce, the man who left the major mark on this world with the invention of commercially viable integrated circuits was no exception in this regard. Born in a poor family he worked in cornfields of Iowa after school, delivered newspapers and lived off hand-me-downs and produce from church members*. But his passion, perseverance and willingness to try new approaches resulted in the impact that continues to grow through the years.
In her tribute, his wife Ann Bowers summed it up beautifully “His ability to live fully was infectious and marvelous to live with. His most important legacy is the positive effect one can have by “going for it” in every way.
*the information contained in this sentence is from a wonderful tribute that was written by Michael Malone.
The various people’s memories are from newspaper tributes published in June 1990.
"Good employees/workers are hard to find. So I did everything possible to keep them. Looking for new ones (unknowns) is like betting in Las Vegas.” Joe Z my former boss
Story Line: About two years ago, we needed some work done in our home. A good friend recommended a guy. Listening to his clear explanations about the things he was working on and observing how he conducted work, we were impressed. After work was completed with precision, he cleaned up not only work area but surrounding space too, rolled and tied loose items like nets and hoses that were scattered in the garden area and removed invasive plants; none of which were any part of the job he was asked to do. After that he asked us if there is anything else that he could do. That raised our curiosity about this person.
The next time he came to our place, we asked him to join us for breakfast before starting his work. During our chat, we discovered that in his 20s and 30s, he had spent many years in Saipan and learnt many skills. He had passion for technical (electrical, mechanical) subjects and loved to build and fix items. He also owned many pigeons and trained them for racing. We learnt how much care he took in preparing organic food for his flock. We appreciated clarity of his thought process in everything he described and thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.
Our dog, Zena Doolittle, also seemed to like him a lot. So when we were going to be out of town, he offered to take care of her. When Zena returned, she was well groomed and her water and food containers were shiny like brand new ones.
Over last two years, he has demonstrated his versatility and commitment to excellence in many projects; with each one executed flawlessly. But what about the value for dependability, reliability, integrity and trustworthiness?
Reflection:
Work was what we needed done in our home but what we got as bonus was learning about his values, high work ethics, attitude towards life and good family friendship. Every time he comes, first 15 minutes before start of work are spent on chismis (chit chat) and last 45 minutes of the day on shoot the breeze session about various aspects of life over mirianda (snack and drink)
He was from a small town in Pampanga, Philippines. His father passed away early. He wanted to be an engineer and got admission in University. But he was sent off to Saipan to work. So he learnt different skills and gained experience by doing different jobs; with utility industry, airlines and others. Eventhough he could not get a degree he wanted, he demonstrates high level of education.
*My father used to tell me this quote that he believed was from Senior Rockefeller. Following that message had served them well. I too have been fortunate in my life to follow and benefit immensely from those words of wisdom.
Thanks to Prasadbhai Vepa for sharing: Your Work is Your Signature Quote.
"Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow." ~William Pollard
Storyline: So, you have problems - No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!" - Author Unknown
"Don't worry if you have problems!" is easy to say until you are in the midst of a really big one, I know. But the only people I am aware of who don't have troubles are gathered in little neighborhoods. Most communities have at least one. We call them cemeteries.
If you're breathing, you have difficulties. It's the way of life. And believe it or not, most of your problems may actually be good for you!
Let me explain.
Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question.
"I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?"
The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms - surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces." Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."
That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive!
Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness.
So, you have problems - No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!"
First published on October 30, 2008.
There are hundreds of untold stories in the backlog for future Friday Reflections. However republishing some popular reflections from past that are suited for current times. Also taking a pause from writing, while working on a new venture.
(Above Video Shared by a reader from New Jersey in response to last week's reflection)
Points to Ponder: “It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Story Line: Don't Be Ashamed of Your Story, It Will Inspire Others.
Last week's Reflection about Hope, Persistence and Perseverance (Tough Times Donot Last) inspired many readers and two readers were kind enough to share personal stories (first two below) from their lives that are very inspirational.
I met her at their store,in the early 70s. Bfr the fire.she was a strong,practical,kind woman. Like my mom, lots of sad,but feisty wartime stories to pass dwn to us n to our children..to kp hope alive,but be alert for every opportunities that comes along to have a better life.. My mom used to tell me her story. Her father owned a big grocery in San Pablo, laguna. He used most of his earnings to helped his relatives from china to the Phils. a fire destroyed the grocery,wt no insurances, they wr left penniless.soon her father died from grief n illness. After that her mom became a laundry woman to feed her 4 kids,my mom was 4 then, the youngest was only 1 yr old. Nobody,not even the relatives her father helped to come to the Phils help them. Her eldest sibling,a sister,married early at 15 to a 31 yr old widower,to avoid rape by the japanese soldiers.she had a sad,but long married life. My mom was about 12 yrs old wn she went all by herself wt other women to Mla,to buy things from Mla to sell in their province. Its a 4 hrs or more back n forth trip from province to mla n back to the province. She said she had to be brave n help her mother,cz she have 2 younger bros.to feed n take care. She joined a local beauty contest in san pablo in her late teens n WON! after that she went to mla to find work as a cashier in a well knowbed Chinese restaurant.There she met my father, one of the part owners son..n the rest is history. My mom n dad bickered like kids, but nothing serious, more on the funny side.. my father was a hardworking,sweet guy. Everytime he's home from his job vacations from the lumber in the province, he helped in house chores, n repairs. I missed my father n mom so much..but then ,am goin to be 61 this year..n so it wl be less than 15 or maybe 20 yrs n then I wl be wt them. Wt all these problems n the pandemic , am keeping a strong faith n hope so my kids will Hv a positive, stronger faith too. - Philippines
Anand this story touched my heart and soul. Especially tangled with the word "Lola". I am so proud to be a Filipino because I myself have gone through some hardships and never gave up. At times especially when .....I thought the world is closing and that every dream that I tried to achieve will never happen and I was wrong. I'm now feeling that I'm zdx o lucky to have a life that's full of laughter and joy. I'm happy that I'm a Lola to my grandkids . My loving husband is always so supportive in whatever i do. Now that I'm retired i pursued a lot of home projects and feels very blessed that I'm able to make a difference. Life is short and I would like to enjoy everything that life has to offer. Thank you Anand for sharing and look forward to reading more of your reflections- Arizona
Great remembrance of a life/soul who lived her time on earth being grateful for what she had and never being in despair or asking Why me? She knew very well that living a life of sadness would make waste for the life that she had. She spent her energy instead to take care of the family. Through that act and your sharing here, lots of people would be inspired to overcome their potentially smaller challenges.- Arizona
It’s been 10 years since her passing! Wow….and yet her story and message of hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come is just as or even more powerful in today’s environment. Thanks 🙏🏼 for sharing and remembering her. California
In life, there are so much uncertainty that belongs to our circle of concern ... our mind is the one most important aspect that in our circle on influence. Malaysia
She lives on forever in our hearts ❤ California
Anand, thanks for this beautiful story. Lola is a remarkable woman! - Singapore
Amazing story of perseverance. – Arizona
Amazing and very remarkable story! A true inspiration. 👌👍 - India
Since many of the comments is about hope here is a little passage from the Bible. In Acts 24:15 it says “And I have hope toward God, which hope these men also look forward to, that there is going to be resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteousness!” That is my hope someday when God resurrects Lola and other members of the family to live an everlasting life here on earth! That is including all of you friends who are hoping that one day everything will be alright in God’s time and his own will! - Connecticut
This is very inspirational. She was braved and yes, lots of hope regardless of all the obstacles/tribulations she had. I believe and please correct me, I met her too when you visited. I was with my mom at that time..- Wisconsin
Inspiring story, thank you for sharing. Was she related to you? New Jersey
Anand very touching life of Mrs Lola .today of is 10 Th Anneversery I pray to God to give a peace to her soul🙏🏻 -India
Very beautiful story about Lola- California
The message about ….. “hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come” …. Thanks 🙏🏼 - California
Coincidently I show a timely reminder of the message in the story for me. The message about ….. “hope, perseverance, and not giving up but keep working hard in dealing with all challenges for better days that are yet to come” …. Thanks 🙏🏼 -Malaysia
I have nothing but respect, awe, and wonder for all the integrity, resilience, strength, courage, and patience that Mrs.Lim was constituted of and made evident. Thank you for this wonderfully inspiring and reassuring narration of such a grand lady.🙏-India
Heart wrenching and endearing. -India
A superb reminder in present unprecedented times!! – United Kingdom
Oh my goodness... Where's my tissue... Thank you for inspiring my Lola!!!!!!
Tremendous will, abundant hope. - California
Remarkable story indeed ! –California
Makes me cry. Inspiring and filled with hope. May Lola/Mrs. Liam’s beautiful memory always be for a blessing. ThNk you for sharing this Anand. ❤️ New York
Oh I love this. In all honesty I really admire this woman. I can't forget how she managed to keep her modest home immaculately clean and tidy in spite of never ending chores. Seems so ordinary but it has a lasting effect in me💕 - Philippines
Too good. She was really courageous. Never lost hope. But her story is sad. Her two sons, her husband all died and she was left with the responsibility for whole life. Hats off to her. She never lost hope for better days. This gives inspiration to us to fight with odds in the life.- India
Interestingly, the opening of your FR 10 years ago is still valid as of current situation, global health challenges, political and economical conflicts ....Thanks Anand for sharing. Reminded me of the book The Alchemist. Always have a dream.- Malaysia
Reflection: Things that are given away (shared) are never lost.
Point to Ponder:"Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption
Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:
In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s. Here is her story:
She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.
During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*
Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.
Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.
Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself. She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.
Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”
“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”
Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time. She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”
This story was originally published in November 2008. Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.
As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.”
Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was incorporated in my work and personal life.
Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:
"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do' is a quote by Robert H. Schuller
Points to Ponder: Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure. Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life
Story Line:Fascinating journey from Eggs to Babies to the final hug and goodbye kiss before the first flight.
Music:Very First Smile by Bellflower.
Since the spring of 2017, every other year these tiny little creatures called hummingbirds have laid and hatched eggs in our patio;In 2017 and 2021 in the same small string light and in 2019 on the tall plant by our window. This March, the mother decided to reuse the nest that was used by her predecessor in 2017. (environmentally conscious)
First thing she did was to clean up the old nest with her long beak. On March 13th, she laid eggs and started hatching process. Two very tiny babies were born on April 2nd. The video above shows the daily routine of mom feeding the babies, babies getting curious as they are getting older, training and preparation for the flight in the wide wide world. Very touching scenes were in last few days when Mom was training babies. Equally memorable scenes were; The babies cleaning theirs and each other’s feathers, spreading wings and flight preparation, the last meal served by mother and siblings saying goodbye to each other with hug and final kiss. After the kiss they seem to be pondering "Shall We" before launching their journeys into the world. I was a few seconds late in capturing first sibling’s take off but did capture the second one’s take off.
Update:My apologies I failed to mention that Mom was injured on the 12th day after the babies were born and had slowed down (Dazed). We called wildlife center and also consulted my cousin who is Ornithologist. With thier guidance and kindness plus Grace of God, the Mom recovered on the 15th day and Everything turned out Ok in the end.
Reflection: from an article Hummingbird Symbolism and Meaning by Garth C. Clifford. (Link at the end of this section)
Hummingbirds are some of the most incredible creatures on Earth. Their seemingly happy and carefree flight has something magic. These tiny birds are an important figure in culture and folklore. The unique characteristics of these birds made them an important spiritual symbol.
The smallest birds in the world have fascinated people since ancient times. The hummingbird’s interesting characteristics attracted people’s attention and made it a powerful symbol. To understand what does a hummingbird symbolizes, we first must learn about the bird’s traits. The hummingbird can fly backward, and its wings beating up to 80 times per second create an insect-like sound. Hearing this buzzing sound around the flowers reminds us of little things in life and their importance.
Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure.
Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life.The hummingbird is capable of flying long distances to reach the destination. This is why the hummingbird symbol is associated with endurance and perseverance. A hummingbird’s fly reminds us to be adaptable and accept changes.
The symbolism of the hummingbird is also linked to the idea of eternity and infinity. Bird’s wings move in the pattern of figure eight, the ancient symbol of continuity. So what does it mean when you see a hummingbird? The hummingbird symbolic meaning is a positive one. Hummingbirds mean we must expect love, joy, and good luck.
More details about Symbolism and Meaning in different cultures is in the following article.
I was interviewing for an internship at a high-tech company. I borrowed my brother's suit to accompany my long-sleeve shirt and tie. I borrowed my roommate's car that had no AC on a really warm day.
I signed in at the lobby, then was greeted by the hiring manager. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt and tie. Upon entering the conference room, I was introduced to a peer of the hiring manager, very friendly and all-smiles. He was wearing nice slacks with a long-sleeve shirt but no tie. Next to him was their boss, very friendly with fatherly mannerisms. He was wearing a short-sleeve shirt and blue denim pants. Everything else is a blur.
I expected formal but was met with casual. Confusion probably sums up how I felt during and immediately after the interview. I was hired, so I must have said something they liked.
Posted by: California Guy | May 31, 2010 at 08:41 PM