Friday Reflections

He was so afraid of dying (making a mistake) that he forgot how to live (missed great opportunities)

One will never reach distant shores, if he chooses to remain upon the dock. In fear his little ship of dreams may be dashed against the rocks.  -- F. Bolen.

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.  -- Thucydides.

 

Storyline:

Two people look at the same new idea: one looks at the current data (today’s realities) and says, “This is very difficult, almost impossible. What if we go for it and fail? What will happen to us?”  The other looks at tomorrow’s possibilities and says, “What if we go for it and succeed? What would that data look like?”

It is the same idea, but one looks at possibilities and the other at dangers, one creates the future while the other is imprisoned by the present. And there lies the difference between successful entrepreneurs and institutions versus the others:

The unsuccessful ones are afraid to fail. When an opportunity is presented to them on a silver platter, they hide behind a wall of caution. Under the disguise of “cover all the bases” and “due diligence”, they create an infrastructure of over-diligence. 

Many good things in life do not wait for people who are busy analyzing all the dangers - not while someone down the street is dreaming of all the possibilities and ready to grab them.

 

Here are two stories of successful entrepreneurs ... the ones who know “how to live”:

1. The beginning of Excite (Source: Joe Krauss, founder of Excite and Jotspot)

“While we were still in the garage (literally), we met with at least 15 different venture capital firms. The meetings we're all the same. We showed them our search technology, showed them 'concept-based' search, and showed them targeted advertising. To a firm, the first question they asked was a very reasonable one: 'Great stuff guys, but what's your business plan? How are you going to make money?' Of course, being 22 years old and fresh out of college, we replied: 'We thought you could help us out with that.'

(Apparently, that's the wrong answer. Who knew?)

Then we met Vinod (Khosla)... By then, our deal had developed a certain "smell" - smart guys with interesting technology, but an uncertain business plan. The demo to Vinod started off like they all did, but about 10 minutes into the meeting things got very different. He interrupted "Can the technology scale? Can you search a large database?"

Big Pause. It's not the money question. No one has ever asked us this before. Ummm. "We don't know. We can't afford a hard drive big enough to test." Ten minutes into this meeting, his first introduction to us, he pulls out his cell phone, dials his assistant and buys us a $10,000, 10Gb hard drive. After that, Vinod, along with the venture capitalist who introduced us to him, Geoff Yang, invested in the company's first round of financing.” Then Excite became a very successful company.

 

2. CP/M Versus MS-DOS

When IBM decided to get into the PC business, they approached Microsoft and Inter Digital Research for the operating system. Microsoft had only application software, not an operating system; while IDR had the leading OS of the time called CP/M. However, the IDR people tied up IBM in legal details and non-disclosure agreements, while Gates signed the NDA on the spot, and then found someone to develop OS for Microsoft. The rest is history.

 

Reflection: "When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” - Paulo Coelho

Loose lips sink ships. Especially after a few drinks.

World War II poster by Seymour R. Goff. 

Points to Ponder: When it comes to senior management there are no casual conversations. Anything you say or do can be used against you at an appropriate time in the courts of the corporation.

Storyline: Most Senior Managers live A Purpose Driven Life. That purpose is connected to objectives, key results, associated success indicators and that extends into all aspects of their life including home life (that story in future FR). They feel the time is very precious and every moment has to be used into some productive output and even casual conversations fall into those categories. Here are two of the many stories I have encountered during my career.

 Story One: First Impression and knowing the audience.

One day I received an email from a guy in my group who was visiting a facility in a foreign country. He was very excited that he had run into my boss in the hotel restaurant, and as he mentioned “We had an exciting shoot the breeze session (casual conversation)”. A week later in my 1:1, the boss told me about that meeting and said “Your guy told me that he was there to just check out on things. Seemed to me that he didn’t have a very clear purpose for the trip. For just checking out, why didn’t you use our local people?” There was some other conversation that is not mentioned here for confidentiality reasons. But the same meeting and the same words but very different interpretations. The guy was there for a very critical supply line issue but in the half an hour with the VP, in his excitement to “Break the Ice”, he had broken the Iceberg that I had to tackle for years after.

Story Two: Holiday Season Parties and after a few Drinks (1976)

The General Manager (GM) of our division had invited his direct staff, some engineers and the spouses to his place to celebrate holidays and to appreciate 60-70 hours per week that we had put in for the entire year to start the new manufacturing plant and introduce the flagship product. At dinner very delicious food and exotic drinks were served. After dinner more vintage wine started flowing and the people seemed determined to shed their inhibitions and let the night take its course.

In one room the casual conversations between spouses drifted in the direction of the work life effectiveness. Many Spouses felt that because of long work weeks, their partners did not have enough time at home for children or themselves. They came to the other room to express their feelings to the general manager. The spouse of the design manager (DM) took the lead in starting the conversation on behalf of the team, but with the drinks warming up the blood, and more joining, it got very intense. Words got out of control and looking at our general managers’ face, I felt that things were not looking good. The event ended soon after. As our still gracious GM was walking us towards our parked cars, I heard him tell the DM: (name) I have never been humiliated so badly by anybody.

A month after the incidence, DM office had been moved from Mahogany Lane to our lane: the lane of the working class. His special privileges like having a secretary were suspended and he was stripped of his title and staff. He left our company a few weeks after.

Reflection: Yes in both stories above, supreme EGOs were involved and there were better ways to handle the situations. The stories like above have happened in other places and with all genders. In my 40 years career, I have witnessed episodes of casual conversations resulting in unwanted consequences; not only the type mentioned above but also others where they were brought up during performance review discussions, key job assignments and promotional considerations.

On the flip side, FR has and will continue to publish stories that have resulted in positive outcomes and good benefits.

Holiday Season is fast approaching and the readers may encounter more articles on this subject (about caution and moderation) in other publications too.

This FR is: One For The Road.

 

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten ...

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten"

Storyline: From the article Challenging the Rules from the book A Whack on the Side of the Head by Roger von Oech.*

When faced with a seemingly intractable problem, a very effective creative thinking strategy is to play the revolutionary, and challenge the rules.

In the winter of 333 B.C., the Macedonian general Alexander and his army arrived in the Asian city of Gordium to take up winter quarters. While there, Alexander heard about the legend surrounding the town’s famous knot, the “Gordian Knot.” A prophecy states that whoever is able to untie this strangely complicated knot will become the king of Asia.

The story intrigued Alexander, and he asked to be taken to the knot so that he could attempt to untie it. He studied it for a bit, but after some fruitless attempts to find the rope ends, he was stymied. “How can I unfasten this knot?” he asked himself. Then he got an idea: “I will make up my own knot-untying rules.” He pulled out his sword and sliced the knot in half. Asia was fated to him.

Reflection: If constructive patterns were all that were necessary for creative new ideas, we’d all be creative geniuses. Creative thinking is not only constructive, it’s also destructive. Creative thinking involves  breaking out of one pattern in order to create a new one. 

All too often, we become ensnared by the familiar phenomenon:

1. We make rules based on the reasons that they make a lot of sense.
2. We follow these rules.
3. Time passes and things change.
4. The original reasons for the rules may no longer exist, but because the rules are still in place, we continue to follow them.

So what knots can you untie today?

*Published with Permission From Roger von Oech (2007)

You Can Win It in the Late Innings If You Don’t Quit - Robert Forster

 

Points to Ponder: I don’t care what kind of story you tell yourself, if you know what is truth but do not let that motivate you, you get what you deserve. - Robert Forster

Story Line: Every Life Tells a Story and Every Story has some lessons.

Robert Forster made his Hollywood debut in 1967 movie Reflections in a Golden Eye with two of the greatest; Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor. His performance received praise and what followed was The Stalking Moon with Gregory Peck, and then in 1969, another legendary film Medium Cool. First Five years in Hollywood were thunderous success. But soon after his career hit strong head winds and the age of 30 he was struggling to find movie roles.

"If you deliver excellence right now, that gives you the best shot at the best future you've got coming."- Robert Forster

The next 27 years were an intense struggle. He had to support his four children. In addition to occasional movie roles, he took jobs as a dishwasher, a waiter and railroad worker. In an interview for AARP magazine last October he said: Any job can be raised to the level of an art form, I don’t care what it is. I used to hate washing dishes. I got so good at it now I tell hostesses, ‘Listen, I’ll wash stemware for you, I never break them.’ I used to hate changing babies, and then I had four. I taught them self-respect and satisfaction. If you’re looking for the good life, these are huge components. And you can get them every day by offering your best effort to whatever it is you’re doing. It’s simple."

Who knows at which precise moment your fortune can change?  For those 27 years, every morning Robert used to go to a coffee shop right across from where he lived. One day Quentin Tarantino, Director and Screenplay writer of highly acclaimed film Pulp Fiction walked into the restaurant. Quentin was a fan of Robert since he was a kid. They chatted for a while and the next time Quentin walked in, he offered him a role in his upcoming movie Jackie Brown. Robert was thrilled and for the role of Max Cherry, he received Oscar nomination. That reignited his career. Since then Robert has been in 70 movies and 37 TV shows; and 46 major roles since turning 70. “You put in enough years and every once in a while something terrific comes along,” said Foster in AARP interview “You’ve got to keep sluggin’ until that happens.”

 Everything teaches you something. The job of real life is the job of caring for others. Everything you do in life is superfluous compared to that" - Robert Forster

About 25 years ago Robert started a program called 'Interacting' to share the lessons he had learnt from hard times. Initially it was for actors but through the years the scope expanded to people from all walks of life. Until his last days, he continued to encourage, motivate and help people for free by telling the stories from his life. As he used to say” The Truth is Free. It is BS that costs a lot of money.”

Robert gave his best for any role he played. However, one line from him will stay with me forever: First time I ever played a bad guy. I didn’t want to do it. I got stuck in bad guys for 13 years after that.

Forster once said that when his career was at its lowest ebb, he had what he called an "epiphany." "It was the simple one," he said, "when you realize, 'You know what? You're not dead yet, Bob. You can win it in the late innings. You've still got the late innings, but you can't quit. Never quit.'"

Reflection: Robert left this earth last Friday (October 11), the same day his latest ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ was released. Robert was a genuinely kind, humble, caring soul. Through his many roles in movies and in life, he helped, mentored and inspired many people. He will always live in the hearts he left behind.

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived-This is to have succeeded.”

 

Special Thanks to Brian Landberg for sending Best Story Ever video.

A little bit of appreciation goes a long way

Points to Ponder: “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.” -William James, American psychologist and philosopher.

In India, there is a saying: Khushi Khuda Ko Bhi Pyari Lagti Hai (Even the Mightiest of Mighty loves praise.)

Story Line: In the restaurant the server was very friendly, caring, and sensitive to our special needs, while handling everything with a smile. We felt so good that while signing the bill, in whatever open space was available, I thanked her and wrote: You made this day extra special and memorable. She took the bill and within a few seconds returned. She had tears in her eyes. She told us that in her 37 years of service she had never received a note from a customer, and especially ‘this was so touching’. She informed us that it was her last week before retirement and the note was a memorable gift. From that day on, whenever I receive a good service, I have made a point to write a note to the server. (Everytime I do that, my wife exclaims “There you go again. Writing an Essay.”)

In 1995 our boss took us to a meeting with the senior executive about a huge customer order. Our team presented why it was impossible to meet such high demand in that environment. I was very impressed with the way the senior executive motivated the entire group about possibilities and showed the confidence in group’s capabilities. After returning to my office, I sent him a note appreciating the way he created positive self-expectations and winning attitude.

A few weeks later, he saw me in the hallway and asked if I was the guy who sent that note. Then he took me to his office and while showing my note posted on his wall, told me that he had taken it home and showed it to his wife and daughters. He seemed very happy.

Many years later, I ran into him at the sky harbor international airport. By then he was already the Chairman and CEO. He recognized me and said that he still had that note.

In my last place of work, the café cook made very delicious fish. After the meal, I would go and thank him. A few years later, my wife and I were at a Greek restaurant and I ordered fish. When the server brought food, he told me that the cook had put special touch on the fish. He pointed at the kitchen. I was pleasantly surprised to see the smiling face of the guy who used to be at my place of work.

Reflection: I have been fortunate to have met many kind and generous people who have shown their appreciation in various forms and in many different ways. It has been the fuel that added fire to my motivation, loving work and in looking forward to the next day. 

In 1984, the start-up company I was working for had our very first customer audit by McDonnell Douglas Corporation. After three days of intensive scrutiny, the auditor from McDonnell Douglas took his tie pin (small DC10 replica) and put it on my tie. In the presence of my peers and management, he mentioned that while other customers follow “Don’t ask Don’t tell to the auditor" approach, we were so proud and excited to show him everything, even more than he would have asked. He had never expected that from a small company. I have never forgotten that scene. In my not so good understanding of manners, I casually asked if they also made F15/18 tie pins. A few weeks later, I received another tiepin in the mail.I have held them dearly and kept them in the bank safe deposit.

“If you give appreciation to people, you earn their good will. But more important than that, practicing this philosophy has made a different person of me.” - William James

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

Points to Ponder: Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Story Line: Timeless teachings from Gandhi on his 150th Birth Anniversary (October 2)

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the fault of others.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

My religion is based on truth and non-violence. Truth is my God. Non Violence is the means of realising Him.

There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other courts.

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”

Reflection: Hate the sin, love (forgive) the sinner.

During Noakhali religious riots in 1946, Gandhi started fasting until death unless the people stopped killing one another. The People from different rioting parties approached Gandhi to promise they would stop and asked him to eat. The real event from that time is shown very well in the movie Gandhi by Sir Richard Attenborough.

Gandhi suggests A Way Out of Hell for the man who had killed a young boy from the opposing side.

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.” ― Albert Einstein.

 

 

Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions*

POINT TO PONDER

“It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.”  - Steve Jobs

STORY LINE

The year was 1984. My boss and I were in a one on one meeting. As I was explaining the details of one project, my boss intervened and said, “you are defensive”. I was taken aback by the comment and immediately replied, “I am not defensive,” and started explaining why.

A few minutes into my explanation, my boss put his pen on the table and with a cunning smile on his face he said, “I rest my case. Let us move on to the next subject”. 

It took me a while, a long while, to understand the depth of the feedback he had given me.  For a considerable period of time I criticized him for being so blunt. But over the years, I realized how valuable his feedback was and how helpful it became in my career.

For example, there was a time in my career when I decided to go into business for myself. I bounced the idea off of my mentor, an accomplished executive. He endorsed the idea. Initially, the business grew, doing quite well, but I also discovered that it I did not like to do many of the minor tasks that are required for running a business. 

Noticing that, my mentor said to me, “you need to go back to work for a company. You have lost the discipline to run the business as an individual owner. But you have a lot of experience and track record that will be helpful when you have resources available to guide”. Yes it was a tough pill to swallow... But it was also very true. 

So I went back to work at a company, and looking back, it was a very good advice. I had a stellar career in the corporate world and could focus my strengths in places I could maximize them most and led to a successful and fulfilling career. 

REFLECTION

Feedback is a valuable gift but many times it comes in forms that can be hard to take, especially if comes wrapped in the form of blunt honesty. But after the initial hurt and anger wears off, and you can look at the feedback for what it is, it can lead to tremendous growth. We just have to be able to put our ego aside to see it. 

*Title is a quote from Ken Blanchard

Being republished due to Readers' requests. Original date August 27, 2015.

 

 

When Preparation Meets Opportunity.

POINT TO PONDER:  “A winning effort begins with preparation.”  - Joe Gibbs

STORYLINE: by Jim Mulready (repeat from March 8,2012)

Rock guitarist Ronnie Montrose grew up admiring musicians like Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Jimmy Hendrix. Born in San Francisco and reared in Denver, he returned to San Francisco in 1968 to be around the “San Francisco Sound” that was becoming popular at the time. Music was his passion; he practiced in the evening and supported himself doing repair and carpentry jobs during the day. He was the kind of young man most people would think of as “just another starving musician.”

In 1970, while doing an office remodel, he met promoter Bill Graham who introduced him to his partner and music producer, David Rubinson. Graham and Rubinson ran a small record label at the time (Fillmore Records) and after watching Montrose play with his band, Sawbuck, they signed them to a recording contract. Rubinson was so impressed with Montrose's talent and ambition that he got him some session work with the Pointer Sisters and keyboardist Herbie Hancock. Then came his big break.

In 1971, Van Morrison was assembling a band for a new album, eventually released as Tupelo Honey. Rubinson secured Montrose an audition and he got the job. After two albums Morrison moved onto another band and Ronny got a job touring with Boz Scaggs for 3 months.

Now established, Montrose went on to a 40+ year musical career. In addition to forming his own band several times, he played with such bright lights as Sammy Hagar, Edgar Winters, the Neville Brothers, the Beau Brummels, and many others. He continues doing session work for many other performers and recorded countless movie soundtracks.

He continued touring until his untimely death from prostrate cancer last week (March 3, 2012), passing at the age of 64 years.

REFLECTION

At some point you will meet someone who will absolutely change the direction of your life. You won't see it coming and you probably won't even realize it while it's happening. Only in hindsight will it become obvious who that person meant. When Ronnie Montrose took that carpentry job remodeling an office, he had no idea who Bill Graham and David Rubinson were, but they saw his talent and gave him a chance.

Ronnie took care of the preparation by being the best musician he could; Graham and Rubinson provided opportunity. Preparation + Opportunity = Success. What have you done today to prepare yourself? 

The People's Prime Minister

Samiuela ʻAkilisi Pōhiva (7 April 1941 – 12 September 2019)

 Photo Credit/Kalino Lātū

Point to Ponder: “To live in the hearts one leaves behind is not to die.” Thomas Campbell

He struck me as a very thoughtful, generous individual. He lived in a small, humble home on the outskirts of Nuku'alofa, always came across as a man of the people who lived a simple life and didn't care much for the perks of office.  -- Newshub's pacific affairs correspondent Michael Morrah.

Story Line:  During out visit to Tonga in 2018, my wife and I had good fortune to meet and chat with this truly humble man in a chance encounter. We were having lunch in a street café and The Honorable Prime Minister and His Advisor walked in. Our Tongan friend introduced us and The Honorable Prime Minister invited us to join on his table. He watched the video about Tonga that I was in process of making and then asked us what we thought of his country. Our discussion continued about industrialization and tourism and also about the Silicon Valley. In very modest inquiring and honest way he expressed his views about those subjects and his great concern about environmental issues. We were honored and touched by his humility, candidness and simplicity. Since then, we have kept in touch with his Advisor who is now a good friend, and had exchanged some messages with The Honorable Prime Minister through him.

Up on returning home, my curiosity led me to do a lot of research about him. I was truly impressed to learn about his passion for democracy and human rights and the price he paid to achieve these objectives for his country and people. Once described as the Nelson Mandela of the Pacific, Mr. Akilisi Pohiva was the first commoner to be elected Tonga's Prime Minister in 2014, rather than being appointed by the King. Since learning of his death yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about him and his remarkable life of service. For some reasons I still can’t figure out why, but I remembered a Reflection from very very early days. (April 06, 2007) while thinking about this great man. He was always there for his People. 

https://www.msn.com/en-nz/entertainment/story/akilisi-pohiva-the-peoples-prime-minister-and-his-quest-for-democratic-reform/vi-AAHbkhE

Reflection: The Doctor Is: In

Points to Ponder: “What we once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” Helen Keller

Story Line: The story was about the doctor in a small town. He was a very kind and caring man. He loved what he did: which was to serve people who were sick and needed help. His clinic was full of people from early morning hours to late evenings; and he was always available to serve any one in need at any hour during the night as well.

Appropriately, the sign outside his office always indicated; The Doctor Is: In

The doctor was too shy and also too busy to find someone as a mate and thus a single man. He had an assistant, a very caring and good hearted nurse who had worked with him for years. She liked and respected this man’s passion for his profession and dedication to a worthy cause. Over time, they developed liking for each other and decided to get married.

Finally, came the day of the wedding ceremony. When the doctor was about to leave his house, a couple arrived to his clinic with a very sick child who needed an emergency surgery. He forgot about everything else and focused on the sick child. The bride and the guests waited for a long time and then gave up. Feeling sad and humiliated, she left the town.

For years, the doctor kept servicing people as he always did. Eventually, life took its course and this good man died of an old age.

The whole town gathered to pay homage to this man who had served them selflessly and whom they loved dearly. One big dilemma emerged at the end of the services. What should be the right epitaph for a man who lived such a great life?

While the town people were struggling to find the right words for the inscription on his tombstone, the former nurse (yes, the bride who had waited) arrived at the scene. She had heard about her former boss’ death and had rushed to the town. The town people shared their dilemma about the epitaph with her.

After paying her respect to her former boss and saying final good bye to him, she pulled out a plaque from a hand bag and put it on his tombstone.

It read- The Doctor Is: In

(Yes, that was the same plaque that had hung outside his office during his entire life)

 My mother told me this amazingly touching story in either late 60s or early 70s. We don’t remember the source. However, if anyone knows the source, please let me know and I will pass on the credit where it is due. Thanks

 

The Basics

POINT TO PONDER: Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know- Pema Chodron

STORY LINE: I have been fortunate to have learned a great deal from many wonderful mentors, teachers, and bosses in my life. Even in the pressure cooker environment of High Technology people have taken the time to impart “soft” lessons to me. The following lesson, written by an unknown author, was given to me by one of my senior colleagues and a friend during the mid-part of my career. Looking back, he meant well.

The Basics

You Will Receive A Body
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.  

You Will Have Learning Experiences
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons - you may like the lesson or think them irrelevant and stupid.  

There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons
There is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works'.  

A Lesson Is Repeated Until It Is Learned
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.  

Learning Does Not End. 
There is no part of Life that does not contain learning. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.  

'There' Is No Better Than 'Here'. 
When your 'there' has become a 'here', you will simply obtain another 'there' that will again look better than 'here'.  

Others Are Merely Mirrors Of You. 
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.  

What You Make Of Your Life Is Up To You. 
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.  

Your Answers Lie Inside You. 
The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need do is look, listen and trust. 

You Can Forget All This or Make it Worthwhile.