Friday Reflections

Tough times do not last, but tough people do ...(My Lola-10 Years Later)

Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption

Storyline: Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary:

In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s.  Here is her story:

She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.

During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*

Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.

Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.

Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself.  She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.

Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”

“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”

Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time.  She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”

This story was originally published in November 2008.  Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.

As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.” 

Reflection: Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American"* soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was  incorporated in my work and personal life.

Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:

"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do'  is a quote by Robert H. Schuller

 

 

Spread your wings, let your spirit soar.

Points to Ponder: Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure. Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life

Story Line:Fascinating journey from Eggs to Babies to the final hug and goodbye kiss before the first flight.

Music:Very First Smile by Bellflower.

 

Since the spring of 2017, every other year these tiny little creatures called hummingbirds have laid and hatched eggs in our patio;In 2017 and 2021 in the same small string light and in 2019 on the tall plant by our window. This March, the mother decided to reuse the nest that was used by her predecessor in 2017. (environmentally conscious) 

First thing she did was to clean up the old nest with her long beak. On March 13th, she laid eggs and started hatching process. Two very tiny babies were born on  April 2nd. The video above shows the daily routine of mom feeding the babies, babies getting curious as they are getting older, training and preparation for the flight in the wide wide world. Very touching scenes were in last few days when Mom was training babies. Equally memorable scenes were; The babies cleaning theirs and each other’s feathers, spreading wings and flight preparation, the last meal served by mother and siblings saying goodbye to each other with hug and final kiss. After the kiss they seem to be pondering "Shall We" before launching their journeys into the world. I was a few seconds late in capturing first sibling’s take off but did capture the second one’s take off. 

Update:My apologies I failed to mention that Mom was injured on the 12th day after the babies were born and had slowed down (Dazed). We called wildlife center and also consulted my cousin who is Ornithologist. With thier guidance and kindness plus Grace of God, the Mom recovered on the 15th day and Everything turned out Ok in the end. 

Reflection: from an article Hummingbird Symbolism and Meaning by Garth C. Clifford. (Link at the end of this section)

Hummingbirds are some of the most incredible creatures on Earth. Their seemingly happy and carefree flight has something magic. These tiny birds are an important figure in culture and folklore. The unique characteristics of these birds made them an important spiritual symbol.

The smallest birds in the world have fascinated people since ancient times. The hummingbird’s interesting characteristics attracted people’s attention and made it a powerful symbol. To understand what does a hummingbird symbolizes, we first must learn about the bird’s traits. The hummingbird can fly backward, and its wings beating up to 80 times per second create an insect-like sound. Hearing this buzzing sound around the flowers reminds us of little things in life and their importance.

Hummingbirds represent small things in life and their meaning. A hummingbird flying reminds us to enjoy life and simple pleasure.

Like the tiny bird seeking the flowers’ nectar, we should be looking at what’s good in life.The hummingbird is capable of flying long distances to reach the destination. This is why the hummingbird symbol is associated with endurance and perseverance. A hummingbird’s fly reminds us to be adaptable and accept changes.

The symbolism of the hummingbird is also linked to the idea of eternity and infinity. Bird’s wings move in the pattern of figure eight, the ancient symbol of continuity. So what does it mean when you see a hummingbird? The hummingbird symbolic meaning is a positive one. Hummingbirds mean we must expect love, joy, and good luck.

More details about Symbolism and Meaning in different cultures is in the following article.

https://www.worldbirds.org/what-does-a-hummingbird-symbolize/

 

The Successful Man is Himself

POINT TO PONDER 

 

In all my years of coaching, I have never been successful using somebody else’s plays..  - Vince Lombardi

 

STORYLINE: Muhammad is not talking, The fight that Ali lost.

 

Muhammad Ali was set for his first fight against Leon Spinks, an unknown boxer who had only six major fights in his career. Leading up to the fight there were a few things Ali did not do that were part of his normal routines before fights. 

 

He did not prepare as hard but also noticeably was his silence before. In all fights before he was very vocal about opponents, making statements, poetries how he is going to humiliate the opponent. Basically he used to Psyche them out and Psyche him up mentally for the fights. This was also a key factor in his winning fights where he mentally screwed up opponents even before the fight. 

 

From what I had heard, he was advice to be modest before Spinks fight and he decided to stay complete silent when reporters would approach him for questions, refused interviews . He would turn away and walk away when microphones were put in front of him.

 

And you know what happened? He lost that fight against very junior and unknown fighter.

 

 

REFLECTION 

 

One cannot tell what exactly was going through Muhammad Ali's mind leading up to the fight. But what one can learn is that he deviated from what was typical to him as a fighter. That was enough to mean the difference between a win and a loss. The moral? Always fight your fight. 

Spring in full bloom at Hakone Gardens-Happy Week

Point to Ponder: What is this life if full of care, We have no time to stand and to stare...

Story Line: Enjoy the following video about Spring in full bloom at Hakone Gardens.

Hakone Gardens

 

A Daughter May Outgrow Your Lap, But She Will Never Outgrow Your Heart

 Photo by Louis Liang (4/9/2011)

Story Line: A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. (originally published on 4/15/2011)

Reflection: "All the precious time Like the wind, the years go by. Precious butterfly. Spread your wings and fly.
She'll change her name today. She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her. She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." 

She leaned over

Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there, Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time." "Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right. To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses

I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is. I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses..."  song by Bob Carlisle

Analisa and Dave's wedding was attended by families and friends representing many races, religions, national origins and cultures of six continents that I could identify. That reminded me of a line from one of my favorite songs: "There is so much that we share that it's time we're aware, it's a small world after all."

Update 4/9/2021 (on 10th anniversary):

Through The Years

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Akshar(E): Thinking outside the box for Education, Environment and Empowerment.

   

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

Point to Ponder: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead

Story Line: For past month I was thinking of an appropriate story for this special week of Good Friday and Easter. As an old saying goes “Things come to you at a time when you need them the most to get to the next stage, but you must learn from those things first.”

Two weeks ago childhood friends shared information about Akshar, a foundation and the school in Assam, India that accepts plastics (bottles, bags..) as fees in exchange for practical education and also uses innovative approach to utilize child labor to eliminate child labor Child Labor. Many of these children would have otherwise been working as laborers to earn living for their families and they would have never gotten an opportunity to go to school. It was fascinating to see out of the box approach for three Rs’ (Reduce,Reuse,Recycle) in all aspects of their operations.

Last week I had a good fortune to attend a short talk by the founder of Akshar, Dr. Alaka Sharma who has dedicated her life in the service of poor people and indigenous tribes in North East India. At the age of 22, she left her home in Mumbai to help people in the faraway land. In 2014, together with her daughter and son in law they started this school that has created a paradigm shift in education. Vision: Teach them how to save the world.

Instead of writing details of their approach and results here, I would like to share comprehensive and inspiring information about this organization that is already presented well in the website.

I believe their story of service to people in need is timely and appropriate to review and reflect for this special week. 

Mission, Objectives and Key Results

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/

Accountability: Also please look at their annual reports in the following section:

https://www.aksharfoundation.org/media

Reflection: In the past 16 years of over 700 posts, there are just a few stories that have classified under all seven values of Friday Reflections. This is one of those rare stories that is true to FR motto: Things that are given away are never lost and all seven values; Passion, Assume Responsibility, Keep on Learning New Skills, People and Relationships, Flexibility and Performance and Results.

In the words of Mother Teresa “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”  

Happy Easter to Friends around the World

Back to Basics-Lessons from Andy Grove

Point to Ponder:  "The new business environment dictates two rules: 1) Everything happens faster; and, 2) Anything that can be done will be done. If it's not done by you it will be by someone else."  Andrew Grove

 Story Line: Back to Basics: Lessons from Andy Grove

A day before Andy Grove retired, I had a rare fortune to meet the person who was Andy’s Technical Assistant in his early career and then a senior executive of our company. Our Boss Gidu Shroff had invited Sean Maloney for a dialogue about state of the business and implication on our group’s strategy. Knowing that Sean had been TA of Andy in his early career, my curiosity compelled me to drift from business related discussions to some questions about Andy.

“You were once the technical assistant to the man who is on his last day at work at Intel. a. How did that experience help you in your career and b. what are some great things about Andy that you learnt.?” Sean’s Answers: 

1. Question the obvious. When everybody says something is this way or great, better question hard.
2. Very analytical, could understand incredible amount of details and linkages
3. Always pushed you to do better. Always made you believe that there is still a way to go in realizing your potential.
4. Very committed to the development of the people who worked for him and He devoted a lot of time on this subject.

Reflection: After the meeting, my mind ventured into memories lane about a few past encounters with/about Andy that were so consistent with what I had learnt about him that day.

1. When I joined Intel first time in 1980s, Andy was one of the speakers at New Hire Orientation. Three things that influenced my career from that talk were: the importance of a sound culture for an organization, focus on employee training and development (Intel University) and If you see a problem you own it. Don’t bury the problems or they will become large. Bring them out and address them. (and if it is not in your area, find the right owner who can fix them.)
2. About 35 people from different sites from the company were in the phone bridge meeting to discuss a lingering problem “exposed glass lid” that had impacted product shipments. Andy showed up to one meeting and after a few minutes of listening, excused most of the people (note takers, facilitators, reporters, speculators,..) and gave actions and ownership to engineers in Asian factories. He had quickly understood the technical issue and realized that a lot of side actors were dominating the stage instead of the Doers.
3. In mid 1980s, one of our plants in Asia had done pilot implantation of Just in Time System. The plant manager was very excited with results and wanted to take the lead to proliferate the system across the company. One morning he got a call from none other than Andy Grove who asked him about JIT. After listening to very excited plant manager describing glorious benefits of JIT, Andy asked only one question: What could go wrong with the system? In the words of that manager” I was frozen. I had not thought about that part.” Andy told him to do the homework and then come back with new proposal.
4. Sometime after Andy had already retired, our boss also retired after a long service. Andy sent a video message expressing his appreciation and recounting memories of their association and some incidences that had taken place over 20 years ago. That was a class act.

Swimming Across. A remarkable journey: Andris Grof to Andrew Grove (Part 1 of 2)

“I am asked sometimes what I would like to be remembered for. My answer is always the same. I would like to be remembered for helping to build an organization that sustains itself long after my tenure.”  Andy Grove, 2004 annual report, his last as the chairman of Intel.

A lot has been written and known about Andrew Grove “the man whose microchips have changed the world and its economy”.  But the way to know more about Andris Grof, the boy who grew up in Second World War Hungary before coming to America, is by……diving into the memory lane.

Friday Reflections for Out of Box Thinking Students: Thursday, May 12, 2005 9:33 PM
Subject: A remarkable journey: Andris Grof to Andrew Grove

 Notable Quotes: from Andrew Grove

“Joining Intel...was the second best decision, and the second best initiative I have undertaken in my life." He then said, "The first one...took place 10 years earlier when I met the young woman who was to become my wife."  Andy at recent Sales Marketing Conference

Fourth Grade: Once again, I got good grades without having to work hard. The only subject in which I was marked down was ‘Behaviour” The teacher’s commentary that accompanied me throughout school was “Andris is too lively.”  

“I didn’t generally have a lot of run-ins with my parents, but when did I misbehave, my parents were a united pair: my mother lectured and my father yelled.”

Point to Ponder for OBT Students: pay special attention to following: Andy’s books in order: Physics and Technology of Semiconductor Devices, High Output Management, One on One with Andy Grove, Only the Paranoid Survive and Swimming Across.

Story Line:  Swimming Across: A remarkable Journey from Andris Grof to Andrew Grove

One of the responses to April (2005) Reflection 'The other side of Andy Grove* stated  “This is a total tease….I wish I had more time to read. And now you have made me curious about reading this book (Swimming Across). Actually I am very curious about Andy. I have heard so many things about him and his influence on Intel culture. I am amazed that he has had a wife (ie a successful marriage) and children even with so much time dedicated to Intel. “

A lot has been written and known about Andrew Grove “the man whose microchips have changed the world and its economy”, the chief architect of Intel’s world prominence, the time magazine “Man of The Year”, the author of many books and the former professor at Berkeley and Stanford.

But the only way (that I know of) to know anything about Andris Grof, the boy who grew up in Second World War Hungary before coming to America, is by diving and taking laps in Swimming Across, his biography till he reached the shores of America. Written in a simple language, Andy candidly recounts many childhood memories; surviving scarlet fever, his imagination, teenage fantasies, life during two foreign occupations, his encounters with girls, his loving and united family, closeness with friends, many adventures (For others they would be called mischiefs but since we are talking about Andrew Grove, shall we call them adventures?), Hungarian uprising and the final journey to America. It is the story of courage, persistence, love, struggles and triumphs, and how they have shaped his life.

At a parent’s teacher conference during Andris secondary school year, Mr.Volesnski, the physics teacher, told the assembled parents “Life is like a big lake. All the boys get in the water at one end and start swimming. Not all of them will swim across. But one of them, I am sure, will. That one is Grof.”

And the book ends with Andy saying “As my teacher Volenski had predicted, I managed to swim across the lake-not without effort, not without setbacks, and with a great deal of help and encouragement from others. I am still swimming.”

As Andy takes his final laps (as an employee) in the lake Intel for remaining five days, we salute him with a poem from the author of his favorite childhood book, ‘The Jungle book’.

http://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poems_if.htm

Thanks for the great memories. Thanks for making a positive difference in many lives around the world. 

Reflection: Yesterday I attended a virtual event ‘Andy Grove Remembrance’; the fifth anniversary of his passing from this earth. Many people shared their memories including ones who had worked for him and interacted with him for over 50, 40, 30 years ago to his last day. It was so clear that Andy still lives (swimming) in the hearts and minds of these people after all these years.

It brought back many memories for me; including few reflections I had written about him and some memorable learning experiences from encounters with/about him. Today’s reflection is one of those memories that resurfaced. I had written that reflection especially for my OBT students to show the emotional and personal side of Andy. Their impression of Andy was a logical, technical, no-nonsense and hard driving left brain person. The progression of his books shows the entire spectrum of his balanced (left/right brain) personality. As one of the notes in the story line demonstrates, the students were very touched knowing about emotional side of Andy.

Two days after I had published that reflection I got the email from Andy: Thanks for the nice note.  How do these things help in your course?  a

 I called him and explained my thinking. He seemed satisfied. The call ended without any 'constructive confronation' and left a lifelong memory.

Part 2: Back to Basics 2: Conversation with Andy's former TA and successful Executive, plus Lessons from encounters with Andy.(to be published on Monday March 29^th)

Wouldn’t You like to be his Neighbor?

 

Point to Ponder: "Such honesty shows that (He) probably was raised by parents who were (are) either religious or with strong moral background. As humans we all must have respect for our neighbor. A neighbor is any person on the streets, and not necessarily one that lives next door. I would love to be (his) neighbor. If we all respect our neighbor or even care for a neighbor's needs, this world would be such a beautiful place. How can America instill this kindness, respect for others, etc,?:crime would decrease and the world would be a better place. Thank you for sharing (his)'s honesty in your reflections on Thanks Giving Day." --Dennis Ferraz in response to Friday Reflection (https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2016/11/integrity.html) on November 24, 2016

Story Line: About two weeks ago, in early night hours we were busy chatting with Oliver, our Godson, who had brought his homemade ice cream for us. Suddenly we heard the doorbell ring. Everyone became silent. While putting on my facemask I asked “Who is it?”  The voice on the other side “…., Your neighbor.” When I opened the door she asked if the car that was parked in the front of our home belonged to someone in our home. It was our Godson’s car. She informed him that when her son was backing up his car, it touched Oliver’s car and had some minor dent. Her son had immediately gone in their house and informed parents. She gave her phone number to Oliver. I told her “Thanks for your honesty” to which she replied “Of course”.

Oliver returned after inspecting his car. He told us that the damage was minor and he wouldn’t have noticed that while leaving in the darkness of the night. He too was very touched with the honesty of our neighbor.

A few days later I saw my neighbor, the father of the young man, and told him how much I appreciated his son’s honesty. He told me that he was very happy that his son had demonstrated their family value.

Reflection: We are blessed to have very good neighbors who have also become close friends. Additionally, my good fortune or what but this is the third time in my life that I have encountered incidences of honesty related to bruises on the car. This latest incidence brought back memories of past incidences and two of the most popular Friday Reflections. In the first case (1997) it was also about a young man and his honesty. The second incidence was about five years ago and the gentleman who bruised our car has become a very close friend. I like to revisit those two wonderful memories. Highly recommend to read the comments of the readers in the two reflections below:

1.The Price of Un (https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2012/06/the-price-of-un.html) One of the five stories in the reflection.

In a community college parking lot, a teenage boy that we know left a very small scratch on the car next to his when he opened his car door. No one was around but he still left a note on the scratched car with his name and phone number. Later that evening, the father of the girl who owned that scratched car called. The first thing he said was, “I want to specially thank you for leaving a note even though the scratch is insignificant. I am not sure my daughter would have done the same.” Ultimately, it cost $350 to get the scratch removed. Years later, the same boy’s car was left badly dented in a Union Square parking lot by someone who did not leave a note with his/her phone number. Upon coming home, sad and angry, he asked his father, “ what do I do next time if I scratch or dent someone’s car,” to which the dad replied, “same thing you did the first time.” 

2.Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching

A few months ago, as my wife and I just buckled up and about to turn on the car, a stranger knocked on the passenger side window. I opened a quarter of the window and looked at the man. In a polite voice he informed us that our back tail light cover was cracked when the mattress he was moving …..Story in the link below

(https://fridayreflections.typepad.com/weblog/2016/11/integrity.html)

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

Point to Ponder: "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen, and thinking differently." - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Story Line: Last two reflections (Resourcefulness , Success ) were about children and their unlimited imagination, creativity, resourcefulness and determination. Future reflections will continue to narrate more such stories of children; their imagination, demonstration of leadership, kindness, honesty and understanding of basics of life.

Reflection: My neighbor Zach and I were chatting about last two reflections. How the children in those stories made the best out of what was available to them; life gave them lemons, they made lemonade out of it.

Zach mentioned that in his business he notices that there are many talented people who are like those children in FR stories. With opportunities and exposure, they thrive and create marvelous things. Then there is another group of people who are fortunate to have resources, connections and knowledge but don’t take action for various reasons (stuck in a box); lack of motivation, inertia, ‘have already achieved goals’, ‘want to take it easy’ or fear of failure. His key point was that many people have so much juice (talent, experience) have/left in them that they can offer a lot more to this world. 

That conversation and the video in this reflection has left me in a very deep thought.

 

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.- Albert Einstein