Friday Reflections

Am I in Good Hands?

POINT TO PONDER: “If your systems are “world class”, why am I still hurting?”  - One customer

 

STORY LINE: In early 90s, on my 5^th day at a new company, my boss invited me to join a quarterly review meeting that was to take place with a major computer manufacturer based in Texas. Our sales department had gotten wind of the customer's unhappiness with the performance  of our products. The sales department had alerted our headquarters in the Silicon Valley that it was not going to be a pleasant meeting.

 

The conference room was over loaded; our side having a full entourage; President, various Vice Presidents with their staff members, and some working level people (like me) were in attendance. Twenty minutes into the meeting it was clear that our sales person's Forecast was right. The customer was very unhappy with our performance and their internal department had recommended to give us one quarter to shape up or we would be disqualified.

 

After patiently listening to the customer's complaints (we had to - there was no choice), our Vice President of Engineering got up to present his response. He explained the details of how problems occurs due to the forming, trimming and singulation tools. The next foil was an organization chart. Our VP introduced,  "this person is my chief technologist, holds 28 patents," and the foil following, "the person in the next box had a Ph.D. in XYZ with specialization..." As he was introducing the impressive technical qualifications of the person in the third box, one of the customer's personnel intervened , "Can they solve my problem?”

 

There was a stunned silence in the room. Was this an innocent question or a deliberately sarcastic one? If it was sarcastic, it was rude to do that to him in front of so many of our executives and subordinates. But thinking deeper, it sounded very basic.

 

REFLECTION:The lesson that I learnt that day was very profound and carried with me throughout my career. In final analysis, what the customer was looking for was, "Am I in good hands?” Do these people give me enough confidence that they can solve my current problems?

 

This lesson has been also very helpful to me in designing the organization structure and recruiting people with relevant qualifications for the purpose for which an organization exists. Organization composition must not be about elegance but about people with the mindset of solving “Real” problems of customer and investors.

Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us

Artist for the Picture unknown. Thanks to Evelyn Tan from Philippines for sending this.

 

Points to Ponder:“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.” - Marianne Williamson

Story Line: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

For more than two decades the profound message that Marianne Williamson wrote in her 1992 book A Return to Love was falsely attributed to Nelson Mandela. For those interested in learning more about the background here is the link

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/7/30/20699833/marianne-williamson-our-deepest-fear-nelson-mandela-return-to-love

Reflection: We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?.......And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

 

 

 

 

Reflection: 

SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE- You and I have Memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

Points to Ponder: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone? – The words in the final scene in the movie: Stand by Me.

Story Line: About nine months ago, I got a call from the childhood friend. He and some other friends were arranging the 50^th anniversary celebration of our high school class of 1969 on January 9^th, 2020. With the power of technology he connected classmates who are all over the world.

Except for five, I had lost contact with most of the friends from the Class of 69. I had not realized how much joy it would be to talk to them or see them on Facetime. And the sweetest surprise was that each one of them recounted so many fond memories of those good old days. One common memory was about two classmates who were most mischievous and created a lot of interesting episodes with the teachers and others. (Name withheld for privacy reasons but about one of those two guys, your guess will be as good as mine.J)

Reflection: Stand By Me Similarities.

Listening to stories told by friends brought back memories of the movie our children had introduced to me in late 80s. Stand by Me is a 1986 American film based on Stephen King's 1982 book. Stand by Me tells the fictional story of four boys in a small town in 1959 Oregon, and the experiences and leanings they go through coming-of-age.

Though some things in the movie have a cultural context, there are many similarities with my childhood days in India. The theme has a universal appeal and many incidences in the movie occur in every culture and country.

Most of the 60 students in the class of 1969 were together from Kindergarten to Grade11. Seven of us lived on either side of one railroad track and used to walk on the tracks just like the kids in the movie. We would also put stones or coins on the railroad tracks to flatten them when the train passed over them.

In school, when one of us got in trouble with a teacher (yes there were a few mean ones), others would console him just like what Gordie does to Chris in the movie. We also stood up for one another if older kids tried to bully our classmates. Yes and we did our share of silly mischiefs, joyful playing and innocent mistakes just like the four kids from Castle Rock, Oregon in Stand by Me.

In the summer of 1969, just after graduation, five of us barely 16 years of age, went on the major expedition to Himalayas, the northern most part of India. While in the town of Pahelgam, we got tempted to track to Amarnath Cave (13000 feet elevation) surrounded by snowy mountains. In those days the tracks were not as good as now and only a few thousand people would visit in the season which was late June to August. It was May and the state government had not officially approved the roads “Open for Travel”. We trusted the local guides who provided horses and accompanied us. There were two couples and three other men in their twenties who also were on that mission with us.

Without proper clothing, or proper food or shoes (one of us in slippers) and without informing our parents, we took off with few bottles of brandies, some food from a local grocery store. The journey was majestic with very early morning sun light reflecting on the snow and two times our horses sinking to their chest high in the snow. But we made it safe to our destination. Just like the in kids in the movie, we didn’t care about the credit for successful expedition but we heard from the fellow traveler that our successful mission was announced on All Kashmir Radio with The Government announcing the season as ‘Officially Open’.

Looking back, with all the training I have received in the adult years (FMEA, Risk Assessment), it was a very high risk mission (may be very foolish by some opinions). Fortunately, everything turned out OK in the end. Since we made it home in one piece, it was the great joy for our parents to talk about it in the town.

This reunion has rekindled many memories. I took this opportunity to draw similarities with the wonderful movie, Stand by Me, to express my nostalgia.

For those friends who are attending the reunion:

We're on our way home
We're going home

You and I have memories
Longer than the road
That stretches out ahead- from the song Two of Us by The Beatles

SOUVENIRS D'ENFANCE: Memories of Childhood

Ode To Reason - As The Year Ends

Point to Ponder: “For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” – guess who said this?

Ode to Reason- as the year ends

“Man!

Why do you hate,

When there is love?

Why do you hate,

Your own fellow man?

Each one of us, born to die,

In so little time, on this, our planet earth,

So why hate and why not love,

All things that live and breathe,

Including your fellow man

There is so little time.” Erza Mir

Reflection:

I cannot but hate the prospect of slavery’s expansion. I hate it because of the monstrous injustice of slavery itself. I hate it because it deprives our republican example of its just influence in the world-enables the enemies of the free institutions, with plausibility, to taunt us as hypocrites-causes the real life friends of freedom to doubt sincerity- What Abraham Lincoln said about Slavery applies as well to Hate and Prejudice.

It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of fellow beings- Mahatma Gandhi, The story of my experiments with Truth.

No one is born hating another person because of color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.–Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

All of your life, you will be faced with a choice. You can choose love or hate…I choose love. - Johnny Cash

 

It's a wonderful life

To all our wonderful readers: Wish you a Very Merry Christmas and/or Enjoyable Holidays.

Point to Ponder: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without also helping himself.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Story Line: by Rajiv Shah 

My mind keeps returning to the film, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The film’s message has stayed with me as it has with so many viewers. The message I took away was this: the truth of one’s own life isn’t in the taking, in the acquisition of more and more things, but of the giving of oneself to others. And that giving will impact those around you.

The central character, George Bailey, is not acting like his usual self in the beginning of the film. The townspeople pray to God for George. God responds by sending an angel to show Bailey the positive impact his life has made on his community. 

Without going into a full-blown synopsis of the movie, I want to pose a few thoughts: Firstly, Bailey had always wanted to travel the world, and to leave the town that he was so integral to. Secondly, Bailey regretted the things he didn’t do but never saw the positive influence he had in those around him. Why is it that the “what ifs” seem to occupy us more than the “what is?” 

Finally, the angel showed George the purpose of his life and the good that was in his life all along. 

Reflection: The secret Bailey discovered was that you get what you give. If he had never given of himself to the community, the community would have suffered and George would have never affected the lives of so many people. The material things Bailey didn’t acquire were replaced by the wishes, love, and thoughts of those he impacted in Bedford Falls. As Bailey says at the end of the film, “No man can be poor as long as he has friends.”  

This reflection was originally published in December 2010 and then again in December 2014.It has been one of the favorites of the readers.

Holiday Humor: To err is human, to forgive divine

Point to Ponder: To err is human, to forgive Divine. But then someone said: To err is human, isn’t that Divine?

Reflection: George Bush Sr. was not the only President who had a Vice President who used to goof.......

Vice President Dan Quayle (1988-1992) in his various speeches:

One word probably sums up the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy but that could change.

El Salvador is a democracy so it’s not surprising that there are many voices to be heard hear. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans…I have heard a single voice.

We expect them (Salvadorian Officials) to work toward the elimination of human rights.

If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.

Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here. –in his visit to Hawaii in September 1989

What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind, or not to have one at all.

Ronald Reagan had one too.

Source: San Jose Mercury News or Parade Magazine in 1980s. I have Saved it in my collectibles since then.

Story Line: Last week’s Friday Reflection titled No Man is a Failure who has Friends had an error in the spelling of the word Failure in the title. It was spelled Faillure. Thanks to Sharon for letting me know and  My apology for the mistake. Trying to make the change in the title would have changed the link to the article that was sent out worldwide. So a footnote was placed in the article explaining the situation. My 92 years old mom witnessing my face tried to soothe my pain by reminding me of some stories I had told her a few decades ago. Thinking of those made me laugh and I am sharing some of those with the readers.

No Man Is A Faillure Who Has Friends.

Point to Ponder: “I know people differentiate between “real friends,” and “Facebook friends,” but I don’t. If you are my friend here, it is because you have been part of my amazing adventure. Your love and support, whether I ask for it openly, or not, have helped me celebrate and mourn. Here’s to another safe trip around the sun! Sending love!” – Excerpt from a note from Sharon Johnston to Friends on her birthday.

Story Line: In July 1997, I attended the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People class in the work environment where some people took pride in: Five Habits of “Constructive Confrontative” People. Sharon had seen the great need for this type of training. She was a co-sponsor and also one of the teachers. During those five days, I recognized that we had many similar ideas and values. We have been friends since.

Reflection: I believe in similar views about Friendships as Sharon had expressed in her note on her birthday. I am happy to share significant milestones in my life’s journey with someone I call “A Friend” and I am equally delighted to see or hear about the events and things that are happening in their lives.

There are so many friends from my last place of work who were single when I met them. I got an honor to witness the next phases of their lives; them getting married and then becoming parents. During this year it was so nice to see their little kids, whom I saw in cradle, wearing graduation gowns and then flying off to colleges; while some others are busy preparing for admissions for the next cycle.

With the power of social networks, my good fortune reconnected me with the childhood friends. Many are grandparents now but became a child again while describing their encounters with grandchildren; just like we used to have with one another when we were kids. A friend I had not seen since 10^th grade visited our home. Also I found two school friends to whom my apologies were long overdue. In one case, I convinced him to help carry some plant from a neighbor’s nursery that was leaning in our side of the fence; justification being that the seeds came from our side. When we got caught, he got in much bigger trouble because he was older. And he was just helping. In the other case, a school cricket teammate was bowling(pitching) against the star player from the defending champion team. The star player got fooled by the clever pitch and the ball came flying in my direction. I was not paying attention and dropped the ball. Had I caught it, the course of the game could have changed and resulted in the headlines for the bowler’s mastery. My apologies were accepted with kindness and grace with only a mild laughter and no sermons.

A Young Man out of college that we had hired in our team about 20 years ago and now running his own successful business asked if I would be The Best Man for his wedding. I was touched and felt honored. The Scottish Wedding in Edinburg was a beautiful experience.

The five days reunion with my old teammates(friends) in Oregon was nostalgic and created many more memories. Many friends from university days, my work places since 1975 and once we met during our travels stopped by or kept in contact through modern communication channels.

And the Humble Warrior who hit our car (and was honest to tell us) three years ago has become a close family friend, big supporter of our family ventures/adventures and continues to provide regular feedback and encouragement for Friday Reflections.

Thanks to All of You, Dear Friends, for travelling with me in this journey, sharing your stories and photos, listening to and reading my stories, forgiving my mistakes, and showering your unconditional love.  It’s A Wonderful Life, which coincidently is the topic for the next reflection. With Love and Warm Wishes.

Note: Thanks to Sharon for pointing out an error in the spelling of Failure in the Title of the reflection. Changing it now will disable all the links to the article that is sent out to thousands of readers. So for now, please accept my sincere apology for missing this.

Happy Thanksgiving from Friday Reflections

 

At Friday Reflections, we're thankful for all of our wonderful readers and the comments and feedback you regularly share with us.  You make Friday Reflections what it is, and we appreciate it.

Note: Last week's reflection about Mister Rogers got many readers' interest. In response Prasadbhai Vepa sent a wonderful article from The Washington Post titled " I used to hate Mister Rogers. Then I discovered how much I needed him." It is worth reading and pondering during the holidays. Another friend and a reader from Penang, Chiao Ju Seow extracted a few Points to Ponder from that article and shared for a dialgoue.

Points to Ponder: “Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect on any front — and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.” - Mister Rogers

“People have said, ‘Don’t cry’ to other people for years and years,” he said, “And all it has ever meant is ‘I’m too uncomfortable when you show your feelings’ . . . I’d rather have them say, ‘Go ahead and cry. I’m here to be with you.’ ” -Mister Rogers

Thanks to Prasadbhai and Chiao Ju for their kindness in sharing these golden nuggetts and Special Thanks to All of You for supporting Friday Reflections for 14 years.

 

 

 

He was so afraid of dying (making a mistake) that he forgot how to live (missed great opportunities)

One will never reach distant shores, if he chooses to remain upon the dock. In fear his little ship of dreams may be dashed against the rocks.  -- F. Bolen.

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.  -- Thucydides.

 

Storyline:

Two people look at the same new idea: one looks at the current data (today’s realities) and says, “This is very difficult, almost impossible. What if we go for it and fail? What will happen to us?”  The other looks at tomorrow’s possibilities and says, “What if we go for it and succeed? What would that data look like?”

It is the same idea, but one looks at possibilities and the other at dangers, one creates the future while the other is imprisoned by the present. And there lies the difference between successful entrepreneurs and institutions versus the others:

The unsuccessful ones are afraid to fail. When an opportunity is presented to them on a silver platter, they hide behind a wall of caution. Under the disguise of “cover all the bases” and “due diligence”, they create an infrastructure of over-diligence. 

Many good things in life do not wait for people who are busy analyzing all the dangers - not while someone down the street is dreaming of all the possibilities and ready to grab them.

 

Here are two stories of successful entrepreneurs ... the ones who know “how to live”:

1. The beginning of Excite (Source: Joe Krauss, founder of Excite and Jotspot)

“While we were still in the garage (literally), we met with at least 15 different venture capital firms. The meetings we're all the same. We showed them our search technology, showed them 'concept-based' search, and showed them targeted advertising. To a firm, the first question they asked was a very reasonable one: 'Great stuff guys, but what's your business plan? How are you going to make money?' Of course, being 22 years old and fresh out of college, we replied: 'We thought you could help us out with that.'

(Apparently, that's the wrong answer. Who knew?)

Then we met Vinod (Khosla)... By then, our deal had developed a certain "smell" - smart guys with interesting technology, but an uncertain business plan. The demo to Vinod started off like they all did, but about 10 minutes into the meeting things got very different. He interrupted "Can the technology scale? Can you search a large database?"

Big Pause. It's not the money question. No one has ever asked us this before. Ummm. "We don't know. We can't afford a hard drive big enough to test." Ten minutes into this meeting, his first introduction to us, he pulls out his cell phone, dials his assistant and buys us a $10,000, 10Gb hard drive. After that, Vinod, along with the venture capitalist who introduced us to him, Geoff Yang, invested in the company's first round of financing.” Then Excite became a very successful company.

 

2. CP/M Versus MS-DOS

When IBM decided to get into the PC business, they approached Microsoft and Inter Digital Research for the operating system. Microsoft had only application software, not an operating system; while IDR had the leading OS of the time called CP/M. However, the IDR people tied up IBM in legal details and non-disclosure agreements, while Gates signed the NDA on the spot, and then found someone to develop OS for Microsoft. The rest is history.

 

Reflection: "When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” - Paulo Coelho

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Points to Ponder: If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of others you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.- Mister Rogers

Discovering the truth, about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort. -Mister Rogers

Story Line: The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in the world.

It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.

Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.

Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.

Reflection: From Mr. Rogers’ speech at Emmy for Life Time Achievement Award*

"So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who loved us into being. 

Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life."

"10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time. "

"Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made.”  

*Entire speech is in the video at the top of this reflection. Thanks to Mary Abel, former colleague and a good friend, for introducing me to this video. It inspired me to write this Friday Reflection; coincidently a day before the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is going to be released.