Friday Reflections

Age is inevitable. Aging isn't. *

Points to Ponder: Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. - Samuel Ullman

I intend to grow old naturally,

and I intend to enjoy it every step of the way.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.**

 

Reflection: A month ago, while waiting in the lobby of Doctor's office, I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting across me. He looked happy and the calmness that radiated from his face raised my curiosity. During conversation, I mentioned that I was 65 and starting to have all kinds of aches and pains in my body and the doctor had ordered many tests. His daughter who had accompanied him mentioned that only recently he was starting to have some ache and waiting for a lab test. He looked very healthy and seemed to be in late 70s or early 80s. During further conversation, I was surprised to learn that he was 102. I asked him what was the secret of healthy happy youthful  life. To which he answered: I paint every day. Art is his passion. When his name was called, I saw him standing up and walking straight, the cane was only as an insurance support. 

Sequel: Upon returning home, I found (by the grace of internet) that the humble man I had good fortune to meet is a well known artist who has followed his passion through life. There is a museum in his name in China and his work has been displayed in many countries. The city of Los Altos, where he has resided since coming to America in 1956, had special celebration for his 100th birthday. When one does what he loves, it is no longer work (or stress), it becomes the enjoyable way of life.

As I left doctor's office, I got up straight. Since then the results of multiple tests that were ordered because of that visit have come out good. I have never felt any better.

Every May, ACL leads USA's observance of Older Americans Month. The theme for 2019 is Connect, Create and Contribute.

Wishing a very Happy May to our fellow Older Americans from Friday Reflections Community. 

*Quote by Mark Levy   **Quote by Mark Twain

Spring Around The Pond

 

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' - Robin Williams

 

Give the ones you love wings to fly

 

Point to Ponder: I believe the children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. --- from The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston

Story Line: Late last year many of our friends were busy visiting various college campuses with their children who will be graduating soon. Now that the verdicts are in and college selections are made, great preparations are going on for the journey to the new world for children. For parents it is the time of mixed emotions; happy to know their children will enter the next phase of life while they will need to adjust to the life without them; an empty nest.

While we are getting the updates from our friends, one humming bird conducted parallel activity right by our window under the extended roof; she laid eggs, had two cute babies and cared for them until they flew out. My mother and I watched the entire process; me observing several times a day while my mother spending a lot more time. The journey from the birth to an empty nest are captured in the video at the top.

It was fascinating and educational to see how the hummingbird mom selected the location; safe from predators and environmental conditions. (But not good for our recently cleaned window.J).  Even during the gusty winds of 40 miles per hour, the nest and babies did not fall down. The location was hard for bandits like Raven, Blue Jays and Mocking Birds who were constantly scouting for newborns (Spring Feast) from a large pole or nearby trees. But this location would have been too hard for them to get in and easily fly out.

She also made sure to come for feeding only when the bandits were not around. When they were on the pole or trees, she would fly around them and then go inside some far tree to distract them about the location. She fed each baby for almost equal time.

Ten days after birth, the babies started flapping their wings in preparation for the upcoming flight. Reminded me about plane flights where pilots do pre-checks before starting take off. The first one took off on The Tax Day (4/15) and tried his newly acquired flying skills for a few hours. But it seemed that it had hard time catching bugs so returned to the nest to join the sibling for the family lunch-on. Seemed the mother had some words with him/her because after that meal he/she never returned to the nest but was seen catching bugs in flight with the mom. Guess the first time he/she had flown off without proper training. (not listening to parents to be patient)

The second one was a late bloomer. Seems like he/she had filed an extension and waited for two more days to fly off. And fly he/she did. Right in front of the Blue Jay waiting on the pole. Risk Taking, Near Miss or Confidence; Whatever. Mom made sure that the little one knows the danger by flying with him/her that afternoon and also conducted proper training in catching bugs.

For the past two days, my mom and I are dealing with an empty nest. On the positive side, all of them have come by to greet in early morning or late afternoon.

Reflection: There are so many similarities in how different species prepare their young ones for the world they would be living in. Watching the entire process was educational and pure joy. (Even Window cleaning will have pleasant memories.)

Many events of this story are captured in a short video at the top of this reflection.

As many parents are getting ready for dealing with an empty nest, I would end with the following thought: Be Happy-You Did Good.

Note: For countries with no Youtube Access Use Vimeo Platform Link: https://vimeo.com/331296081 

A Beautiful Message by Arthur Ashe : Why Me?

The legendary Wimbledon player who was dying of AIDS, which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: 

"Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease?" 

To this Arthur Ashe replied: 

50 Million children started playing Tennis, 

5 Million learnt to play Tennis, 

500 Thousand learnt Professional Tennis, 

50 Thousand came to Circuit, 

5 Thousand reached Grand Slam, 

50 reached Wimbledon, 

4 reached the Semifinals, 

2 reached the Finals and 

when I was holding the cup in my hand, I never asked God: 

"Why Me?" 

So now that I'm in pain how can I ask God: 

"Why Me?" 

Happiness keeps you Sweet! 

Trials keep you Strong! 

Sorrows keep you Human! 

Failure keeps you Humble! 

Success keeps you Glowing! 

But only, Faith keeps you Going! 

Sometimes you are not satisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life. 

A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead dreams of flying. but, a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse & dreams of returning home. 

That's life! 

Enjoy yours... 

If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets.
But only poor kids do that. 

If power ensures security, then VIPs should walk unguarded.
But those who live simply, sleep soundly. 

If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages.
Live simply, be happy! Walk humbly and love genuinel

 

*Thanks to Sujat Shah, a very engaged reader of FR and an incredible humble soul, from India for sharing this beautiful story. 

What does it take to take your idea/company of the ground?

Points to Ponder:

“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

Story Line: One childhood habit (fascination) that I have not been able to get rid of is to watch planes take off and fly. Even after all these years of growing up, I still go to San Francisco Airport a few times a month and spend couple of hours watching planes take off and land. 

What makes this magnificent creation of human mind and efforts; weighing more than half a million pounds (ex. 777, 747); soaring at 35000 feet; and traveling over 7000 miles without stopping; to take hundreds of passengers safely to their destination? 

Based on Aerodynamics, four forces are constantly at works to enable a plane to fly: Thrust, generated by engines and propellers, is responsible for forward motion of the plane. Drag, created by air resistance, slows down the forward motion. Thrust has to be greater than Drag for a plane to move forward. This is enabled through right powered engines and streamlined design. The third force is Weight, a gravitational force responsible for downward motion. And the final force is Lift, created by a balancing force of wind beneath the wings, which counters weight and pushes plane upwards. And most of the planes need one more and very important force, a human one: A Pilot.

So what do all these have to do with your idea or a company? This is where Human dynamics comes into play. You are the Pilot (inventor or entrepreneur) who needs to convert your idea (dream) into reality (destination). You are the pilot (employee, manager or a leader) who constantly needs to create more value for your stakeholders (investors, employees, customers and suppliers). You have to have the strong Thrust (Belief in your vision, Passion, Courage to move forward) to overcome the Drag (Ney Sayers, Roadblocks). You have to have the Lift (Willpower, efficient organization design) to rise above the Weight (Bureaucracy, Resource Constraints). You have to create a flight path (charter a course) and put your ideas/projects in motion.

How many planes return to terminal after the boarding gates close? How many times, or did you ever, hear about a pilot giving up once the plane reaches V speed of 150-180 miles/hour? Once you put your idea/project in motion, it reaches a takeoff point where forces of Lift (Passion) and Thrust (Willpower) overcome the forces of Drag and Weight. Yes, it takes a lot to get a plane off the ground. And there begins your journey to your destination.

But the journey is not over yet. What happens when a plane encounters turbulence or unexpected event? The pilot looks at the monitors (data) and makes necessary adjustments to altitude or flight path. How many instances do you know where a pilot has given up on destination (goal) or start a brand new journey (a program of the month/year) or dropped the plane all together? In such cases, not only that the passengers would not reach their destination; but it would also waste tremendous resources and do a great disservice to your stakeholders. Won’t it?

And what about a situation where the plane is cruising at 35000 feet in a nice weather (project/ organization is functioning well). It is in auto pilot mode (called Empowerment in corporate world). There are real time monitors and indicators constantly flashing. There are bells and whistles to flag abnormalities. Does it mean the pilot can sit back and take it easy? (Delegate his leadership?).

Reflection: Any entrepreneur or a successful leader never takes his eye off the ball. They are constantly monitoring their flight and do make necessary course correction; but they do not give up until they reach their destination.

And guess what? There is an old Airline saying, “A plane makes money only when it is in the air.” Similarly an entrepreneur or a good leader never rests. They are ready to take off to the next destination as soon as new passengers are on board.

What kind of people do you work with?

 

 

Point to Ponder: Wherever there is a town, there is treasure and there is trash. It all depends on what you see (or what you are looking for).

 

Story Line (an old Sufi story customized for work environment): A tale to remember when looking for a new job, or even a new organization, culture/country/city to move to.  

 

A guy was in his final job interview with the hiring manager. The guy said, "I am deciding whether I should move here or not- and I wonder what people here are like?" 

The hiring manager said, "Tell me what kind of people work in your current company?" 

The guy said, "Nothing but politicians, idiots, and self-centered people." The hiring manager said, "You know, that is exactly the kind of people you will find here, too." So the guy left and never came back.

 

Another person came for an interview at the same place and asked the same question of the hiring manager. "I am thinking of moving here- can you tell me what kind of people work in your company?"

Again, the hiring manager asked, "Tell me what kind of people work in your current company?" 

The new person said, "Oh, they are kindest, brightest, most teamwork-oriented, compassionate people. I really love them. I shall miss them terribly." The hiring manager said, "Those are exactly the kinds of people you will find here, too."

 

Reflection: What are the fondest memories of places you have lived, worked and traveled? What are the greatest things about your current environment?

Don't burn your Bridges

Point to Ponder: You meet some of the same people going up as you do going down

Storyline: (.. applies to all ages, but great for the young and the restless.)

Once upon a time, there was a young fellow named Andy who graduated with high credentials and got a job within a respected company. Bright that he was, he started doing good work and received numerous recognitions. His group also had a very good manager named Joe Z, whom everyone liked and respected immensely.

As often happens in industry, such managers move on to do bigger and better things, and Joe Z got promoted. The company brought in a replacement manager from outside, who had a very crude and rough style in dealing with people.

Not happy with the new manager, Andy found multiple job offers outside and handed in his resignation. Joe Z, his old manager who was now the Director, told him how much he respected his talent and needed his further contributions. Joe requested that Andy be patient for a while and stay on.

Young and restless that he was, Andy declined. Joe advised him "It is not good to leave in anger. I advise that you don't burn your bridges". This young and yet immature fellow replied, "I don't burn bridges, I bomb them" (no traces left behind).  He left angrily anyway.

As fate would have it, thirteen years later, during an economic downturn, Andy badly needed a contract for the consulting business he had established after a few years of working. Andy bid for one contract where his proposal was selected for the final stages of the approval cycle - the presentation to the top management of the client company.

He was waiting in the conference room for the top management people to arrive, and as soon as Andy saw the first person to walk in, drops of perspiration started flowing all over his face. That person was Joe Z, his old boss, who had moved to this new company several years ago. Andy saw all his dreams of winning the contract evaporating.

Surprisingly, Joe Z approached him and gave him a hug. Smiling, Joe said to him "Don't worry. I had done very similar thing in my early career as you did with me. But I know that you realize that you have learned  a very valuable lesson in life today. Go ahead and Break a Leg (make a great presentation)"

Relieved, Andy did well in his presentation and got the contract.

Reflection: Going through ups and downs, and at times dealing with seemingly unreasonable situations, is all part of growing up - and no one has been spared from those agonies. What differentiates a pro from an amateur is how one responds to variety of situations and conquers them with a great attitude. Especially since understanding and compassionate people like Joe Z are so rare.

This reflection was originally published on April 3, 2008. Reader's views from original reflection are in the comment section. Reflections are periodically repeated because of new audiences and reflecting on the learning from the originals by veteran readers.

Children seldom misquote you

Point to Ponder: Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Story Line: Last week our four years old grandson had come over for bonding time with us. In one of his previous visits he had noticed a statue of Buddha in our garden and asked several questions about it.  From then on he calls us “Buddha Grand Pa and Buddha Grand Ma” and other Grand Parents by another special name; I guess it must be for clarity in communication.

While he was at our place, we took him on many field trips including a visit to Intel Museum. On the way, the little guy asked, “What does Intel do?” We told him that Intel made silicon chips.

To that he said: WOW! I like chips. I will eat a lot.

We told him: You can’t eat those chips. But he kept insisting that he wanted to eat them.

Unable to persuade him with technical explanations, we resorted to the last option “You can’t eat them. They are made with poisonous chemicals “

In the late evening he was FaceTime with his parents and cautioned them “Don’t eat Intel chips. They have poison in them”

As the call ended and realizing that he needed to follow his routine of taking bath before going to sleep, I told him in hurry “ Go and tell Grand Ma, I want to take bath now.”

A few minutes later he returned and said “I told Buddha Grand Ma that you want to take bath now.”

Reflection: Yes indeed, clear and crisp communication has been my area of improvement (IR) and it has resulted in many funny episodes in and out of home all my life. But no major harm done and a lot of entertainment.

Exceptional Employees: Last I heard, we get paid for making things possible

Ability is what you are capable of doing, motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz.

Storyline:

Early in my career, one boss gave me sage advice: “Companies hire us to make things possible, not to report why things are not possible”. Throughout my career, I have seen many examples of people who do not stop for the “impossible”. Here is one such story:

You don’t have the right degree.

Many years ago, while looking for a person to manage our business systems, we interviewed a young man who had just graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in business. Knowing fully well that he did not have a degree in Computer Science, as was normally required; we took into account the fact that he was a computer fanatic from the age of eight and displayed tremendous enthusiasm to tackle new challenges. It was a risk, but the interview team felt that it was worth it.

You can’t get onto the corporate roadmap.

During the first month, he noticed that our small group needed some key applications, but was told that it was impossible to get on the corporate group’s roadmap. So he decided to learn programming himself. Instead of going to a full semester course with a fee of $3,600 that others had done, he bought a book for $32 and got started on the basics.

We don’t have the budget.

Then came the second hurdle. We did not have the budget for the server to host our applications. He found out that a local IT department had recently upgraded some systems and had put the old ones in the warehouse. He got one for free. In the process, he made friends with the technician who provided invaluable support, and who was later himself promoted into new roles.

The customers hate dealing with IT.

His customers were used to support groups that measured their success by the number of tools delivered, instead of tracking if it had solved the customer’s real needs. As a refreshing change, he patiently listened to various internal customer/user groups’ needs and then focused on delivering solutions rather than just systems and tools. Customer satisfaction had never been higher.

Starting up a business is the biggest challenge.

When, after 5 years with us, he left to pursue his own venture, the stamp on his exit paper read “Eligible for Re-hire” (as soon as he is available.) I expect these same qualities will help to overcome the next level of obstacles in starting up two businesses destined for success.

Originally Published: July 2007. Repeated because of many readers requests

Update 2019: His business has grown very well with delighted customers and great team of highly motivated employees.

Reflection:

In the words of one my mentors, “The difference between a very successful person and not-so-successful one; between a 5 figure and 7 figure income is not in the technical or content knowledge. It is given that you need that. The key differentiation is in how you carry yourself with respect to attitude, relationships, communication, commitments…

Highly Motivated Employees (The Young and the Restless Part 1)

POINT TO PONDER:  “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” - Pablo Picasso.  Isn’t the same thing true about employees? New employees come with good credentials, enthusiasm, ambition, high hopes and many with a lot of passion. The challenge is how to keep up those qualities once they get melded in/sucked in to the organization’s systems for a few years.

STORY LINE: Originally Published April 17, 2014. Republishing with minor edits.

A few weeks ago, I received one very touching and wonderful email from a supervisor about an employee who was leaving the company. The note mentioned about the significant contributions of this person; many beyond the normal job scope. It also stated the high value that customers, partners and peers had seen in this employee. The person’s “can do” attitude, high energy and enthusiasm had influenced and impressed whoever had interacted with her (me included). It was clear from the note that this person had made a big impact on whatever or whomever she had dealt with. I read the note over and over again until it dawned on me that this person that the supervisor wrote such a nice note about was with the company for only 20 months (out of school). Now that made it even more powerful that in such a short time the person had made such an impact.

In my 39 years career, I too have been fortunate to have coached some employees like the one mentioned above. My experience with such employees is that they are not motivated by money or by positions, but more with constantly new challenges, trust in them to carry on big tasks (not treat them like kids or starters), reinforcing their value to the company and providing occasional guidance. They are self-starters, and as a supervisor/coach one needs to just keep raising the bar. Some will stay and some will move on (nothing personal, just that their reach may be farther than what current environment can offer) but whatever time they spent, they will make a big impact and enlighten and inspire others around them. In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, The surest way to corrupt such a person is to instruct him/her to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. Give them freedom, trust and encouraging feedback about their value and create a culture where they will thrive.

REFLECTION: From Pablo Picasso Quote in PTP (applies to any Young* and Restless)
Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.

*young applies to both in age and mentally young.

Readers feedback from the Original Publication included in the comment section

Next Week: Last I heard, we get paid for making things possible...(The Young and the Restless Part 2)