Friday Reflections

The Hero's Journey

POINT TO PONDER: Follow your bliss. - Joseph Campbell

STORY LINE: by Rajiv Shah

We want to revisit one of our favorite stories, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. On first glance, Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story about marching to the beat of your own drum, following dreams, pursuing your passion in the face of adversity and forgiving others when they condemn you for doing so. It incorporates all these elements, but I realized upon my viewing of the entire film that JLS follows the classic Hero's Journey myth structure.

The Hero's Journey was popularized by Joseph Campbell who was a writer and mythologist. Campbell found that many classic stories follow a pattern (including Jonathan Livingston Seagull) and an extremely abridged explanation is outlined here that we can apply to our own lives:

The Call to Adventure - This is where the main character is at a point in their life where they are at the brink of change. Either the character can be seeking the change or the call to adventure comes from an unexpected source (death of a loved one, fired from a job, life is in danger.etc). In JLS this step is represented in Jonathan's need to fly faster and higher than any seagull before. In your own life is there something that you seek? A higher sense of fulfillment whether personal or professional, a yearning to explore, or a need to challenge? Whatever that thing is, that is your calling.
Refusal of the Call - The main character avoids the call due to doubt, familial obligations, expectations (societal, personal, or familial), or fear of the unknown. In JLS (around the 20 minute mark) Jonathan has flown higher than he ever has before but crash lands into the ocean. Injured and alone he floats on a wooden crate - for the first time doubting his calling, his belief in himself. He thinks, "I've got to live with what I am. I promise this day that I will be a seagull like every other seagull." Sound familiar? I don't think I need to illustrate how this applies to our own lives as many of us get stuck in this phase of the hero's journey, doubting our passion and ability.

Crossing of the Threshold/Road of Trials - The point where the main character reenters their journey is sometimes with encouragement from another and sometimes from an internal calling growing stronger within them. At this point there is no turning back, the main character ventures further into the unknown, past fear and doubt. The character will undergo a transformation from the experience (usually tough) and emerge with a new understanding and/or a new self. In JLS as is true in other works, this is can be the point of death though it is not always the case. In our own lives, and since you are reading this - you are not dead yet (at least I hope not...) - it can be a metamorphosis from your old way of thinking/self usually into a new one.
Apotheosis/The Ultimate Boon - The achievement of the goal. Moving to divine knowledge, transendence and attainment of the calling. In JLS this is the point when Jonathan has learned to fly highest, fastest, and is even able to transend his physical body. For us, well... I wouldn't know what this looks like and it would be foolish for me to try to teach anyone this as I'm searching myself. But I think it's in the search for this that we find peace and bliss, however brief or lasting. Some may find this in family, some in career achievements, and some might find it in jumping from one thing/place to the next. But when we find it I hope we take the next step:

Master of Two Worlds/Freedom to Live - With this new knowledge, bliss, and transcendence the main character returns to his place of origin in order to share those experiences with others and the world at large. This is so that others might find their own path and their own peace. In JLS this is done when Jonathan returns to the flock seeking to teach them that they can fly as high and fast as they dream. For us, it is the need to teach, to pass on what we've experienced in order to help another on their path. Paying it forward.

REFLECTION

The Hero's Journey is one that all of us have within us. It reflects the nature of our search for meaning. We all find it in different places but the calling is always there. Sometimes the fears and doubts get so loud that we don't take the journey and find what we are truly capable of. It's easy to given in and stop searching, deciding that what we seek can't exist.

This need, the quest for meaning, is not only reflected in stories like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but is ingrained in spiritual texts such as the Bible and the story of the Buddha. It permeates most TV shows and movies, from Lost to Batman. It can even be found in the cycle of birth. It is a mythology that is interwoven into the very fabric of our existence - in the little place inside of each and everyone of us that dares to answer the call and seek our greatest potential.

Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

Reader's feedback from the original publication on July 26, 2012 is included in Comments section.

 

 

Enjoy The Company of Your Children

Point to Ponder: And those human connections --- with spouses, with children, with friends -- are the most important investments you will ever make. Barbara Bush 

Story Line: A beautiful post from one mother to another mother*…(author unknown)

There were days when My home used to be filled with laughter, arguments, fights, jokes and loads of mischief. Pens and books all over, and clothes messing the rooms, thrown on the beds. I used to shout at them to tidy up their mess.

In the morning : One will wake up and say :"Mama I can't find a certain book. And the other will say : *I can't find my perfume,*

And one will say : *Mama where's my homework?*

And another : *Mama I forgot to complete my homework.*

Everyone used to ask about their lost possessions. And I will say, *but take care of your stuff, be responsible, you have to grow up.*

And today I stand at the doorway of the room. The beds are empty. All the cupboards have only a few pieces of clothes in them. And what remains is the smell of perfume that lingers in the air.

Everyone had a special smell. So I take in the smell of their perfume for maybe it will fill the empty ache in my heart.

All I have now is the memory of their laughs and their mischief and their warm hugs.

Today my house is clean and organized and everything is in its place, and it is calm and peaceful. But it is like a desert with no life in it. Do not become angry with your kids about the mess.

Every time they come to visit and they spend time with us, when they are ready to leave. They pull their bags and it is as if they tug my heart along with it.

They close the door behind them and then I stand still and think of the many times I shouted them to close the doors.

Here I am today, closing my own doors. Nobody opens it besides me. Each one gone to a different city or a different country. All left to find their own path in life.

They have grown up and I wished that they could stay with me forever.

Oh! God..... Take care of them & all other children wherever they may be, for You are their guide and protector and always keep them happy.

If your children are still in the stage that you need to talk and talk before they could get things done in the house, please, cherish and endure it with joy, don't nag, they will soon leave your home for you, remember they were not there at the beginning of your marriage. Now that they are around, make them happy and feel happy yourself.

Reflection: From Barbara Bush's Commencement Address at Wellesley College. June 1990

Cherish your human connections: your relationships with family and friends. For several years, you've had impressed upon you the importance to your career of dedication and hard work. And, of course, that's true. But as important as your obligations as a doctor, a lawyer, a business leader will be, you are a human being first. And those human connections --- with spouses, with children, with friends -- are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend, or a parent. - Barbara Bush Commencement Address at Wellesley College. June 1990

*Original Author Unknown. Thanks to our reader Malav for sending this article. 

When Opportunity Comes Knocking.

 

Many a times, it is in split seconds decisions that the fortunes are made or lost. One company becomes "Microsoft" and the other.....

 

POINT TO PONDER: “ When opportunity comes knocking on the door, don’t go to wash your face.” -From an ancient Indian story my grandfather used to tell us.

 

REFLECTION

When it comes to customers, there is no such thing as "Out of Scope." Such advice came from one of the greatest salesmen I have known.

 

In the summer of 1966, I got an internship to work in a small business. Part of the assignment was to accompany the owner during his door to door visits with customers. What I noticed was that the owner would listen to customer’s ideas, dilemmas, needs, and even if he did not have the product or service needed, he would say, “let me get back to you.”

    

Upon return he would assess if he wanted to get into that line of business or if there were other companies that could quickly service that customer’s need; then he would either make a deal with the other companies or refer them directly to the customer.

    

On one day he even referred his competitor to his customer realizing that he did not have that product. My curious mind inquired, “isn’t that dangerous - you are letting your competition get in the customer’s door.” To that he replied, “the primary objective of my business, stated in my mission, is to offer quick solutions to customers. And customers have seen that and asked me to get into many areas that they have need. Some customers have even funded my new ventures because they know I am focused on their success.”

   

Over the years, the scope of his business grew from cement to chemicals to ice and many more areas.The most important thing I learned from him in the summer of '66 was that “when it comes to customers, there is no such thing as, 'Out of Scope.'"  Years later when I watched a documentary on PBS about Microsoft,  the memory of that lesson revived and has stayed fresh since then.

 

STORY LINE:  Following story is extracted from the Public Broadcasting Station (PBS) special "Triumph of theNerds" by Robert Cringley.

 

Many a times, it is in split seconds decisions that the fortunes are made or lost. One company becomes "Microsoft" and the other (Interglactic Digital Research) vanishes from the face of the earth. Interglactic had the operating system that IBM (All mighty of computer business in those days)desperately needed to get PC business going, the other (Microsoft) did not. (Microsoft had only "Basic",a computer language.) So what happened next?

 

The scene is set in California...laid back Dr.Gary Kildall, CEO of Interglactic, already making the bestselling PC operating system CPM. In Seattle Bill Gates maker of BASIC the best selling PC language butalways prepared to seize an opportunity. So IBM had to choose one of these guys to write the operatingsystem for its new personal computer. One would hit the jackpot the other would be forgotten...a footnote in the history of the personal computer and it all starts with a visit to their headquarters by IBM in 1980.

 

In a nutshell, when IBM came on a short notice, Bill Gates and team changed their plans to accommodate them. Gary Kildall had other plans and he left IBMers with his partner and lawyer. When IBM pooped out non-disclosure agreements, Bill signed them in good faith even though he found them very amusing. Interglatic got the lawyer to look at the non-disclosure. The lawyer threw up on this non-disclosure. So IBM spent the whole day in Pacific Grove debating with them and with their attorneys and everybody else about whether or not Interglatic personal could even talk to them about talking to them, and they left.

 

Sequel to the story: And Bill Gates, not wanting to let go the opportunity, found a small company in Seattle to develop this operating system. 
 

Interestingly, that small company's operating system, which saved the deal with IBM, was, well, adapted from Gary Kildall's CPM.

”As it happens often in the PC business, the prize didn't go to the inventor but to the exploiter of the invention.”

 

But then again, When the opportunity comes knocking on the door, don’t go looking for the sink to wash your face. Just open the door, you will have rest of your life to do Risk Mitigation.

 

Triumph of the Nerds Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiffgiRAYUI&feature=youtu.be

Triumph of the Nerds

 

The Best .... in the Planet

Point to Ponder: An Empty Vessel Sounds More – Indian Proverb

Story Line: Whenever I hear or read things like: We are the best company/people/organization in the Planet, some lifetime experiences resurface in my mind. Here are a few:

There was a textile mill (#1 at the time) in the town I grew up. For a while they had huge control on the market place due to their size, resources, connections and a special clothing material and seemed invincible. One of our relatives worked there in sales department. He used to say that his was the best team in the world until someone pointed out that they were the only one with that product at that time and his team didn’t need to do much to sell it. The real test came when the competition came in and economy worsened. The best team in the world, resting on their laurels and indulged in self-admiration, and having done nothing innovative and lacking imagination or real experience fizzled. Eventually with that kind mindset prevalent over the entire mill, they went under and got sold.

There is another story I heard in the later years where the company believed that they had the best manufacturing in the world, “The Best Bar None”, and will not allow outsiders, even the major customers, to go inside their facilities. Over time, they started losing their edge and lost tons of money. A new leader came in. He openly invited a major customer to go inside their factory and found out from them that his company was far behind the world in technology and manufacturing practices. Instead of prevalent mentality of Being the Best in the Universe and avoiding looking outside, he spent months in learning the best practices around the world. Upon return, he opened the closed minds and the company recovered and thrived.

Reflection: My father used to say: In good times you don’t have to do much to do sell anything or get a job in a good company. The real test of a person comes in during the bad times. Can you increase your sales during real bad times, can you find a job with a good company during worst of times?
The people and organizations who are humble, not resting on their laurels and constantly innovating make it through tough times and come out strong. Whereas the ones who are intoxicated with the arrogance and false sense of pride find out soon that they did not have any tangible value to offer (except EGO (if it is considered tangible value) either inside or outside; and panic and eventually perish.

So Be Humble, Be Open, Be Part of this World and Keep focus on being better than what you used to be. You will go a long way.

Never look down on anyone unless you're helping them up

Point to Ponder: "And my goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance." - MJ

STORY LINE: written by Rajiv Shah

I recently watched a film about the late Michael Jackson's life, THIS IS IT. I've been a fan of his for a long time – his music, his humanitarian work, and his capacity for compassion even when the world condemned him. One of the segments in the film touched me deeply and got me thinking about the theme of today's reflection.
            
Michael Bearden was hired as Michael's music supervisor on his last concert tour. A concert that never happened due to Jackson's untimely death. Bearden was recalling his strongest memory of Jackson- an encounter he had during their rehearsals together. The memory revolved around their shared first names, Michael.
            
Bearden and Jackson were working on a musical selection when Michael Jackson stopped and said, “Bearde, you know what our name means? Well, our name means one who is most like God.”
            
Bearden shook his head triumphantly and a cocky smile broke across his face.
            
Jackson was quick to stop him, “no, no, no, we got to be humble. We gotta be humble.”
            
Bearden could see Jackson sobering. “I am humble MJ. Why are you so serious about this?”
            
“Well, I don't want God to take our gifts away.”
            
Bearden shook his head, “I don't think that's going to happen. And I think your gifts are greater than mine.”
            
Jackson was heated, “no, no, no, don't say that. Don't say that.”
            
“Well, why MJ?”
            
“Because you're here with me and I'm here with you. And we have to use our gifts together to help people figure out what their gifts are.”
 

Bearden was speechless. Here was arguably the greatest entertainer of all time telling him that they were there to help other people discover their own gifts. Bearden would add that Jackson's humanity, his empathy, and compassion are what set him apart. For Michael, in Bearden's estimation, truly did care about people.

            
Reflection:
 
Much like Bearden, at first glance I misinterpreted what Michael had initially said about being most like God. Just like Bearden, I thought that Jackson was self-congratulating himself for his own gifts. That God had chosen them, to bestow onto them, these unique qualities and for that reason were better than others.

So I watched the segment again. And again. And the more I listened, the more I came to realize that Michael Jackson wasn't operating from the same motivations we sometimes do. Being like God didn't mean that they were to put themselves onto a pedestal, but his talent was a responsibility to help others find their own passion through the gift he was given - music.

How often do we use our talents and our gifts to exalt our own own needs? How often can we say that we used our strengths to help another shine? And if not, why? Why is it we feel there is only a finite amount of talent, a limited amount of joy, and why do we feel we must keep it only for ourselves?

So the next time we look down I hope it is not to look at how far we've risen past another, to congratulate ourselves, but is instead there to help another up – to use your passion to encourage another to discover their own 'gifts.'

 

Originally Published on April 8, 2010. Felt Appropriate to revisit the reflection now.

Happiness is a Choice

POINT TO PONDER

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.  - Mark Twain

 

STORY LINE *

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years taking care of patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded her experiences with those patients and she found common desires among them. They were published in a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying."

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

 Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

 

*Originally published on August 4, 2103. 

 

In 2019, Please eat your lunch on time

Points to Ponder:  You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.
"If you don’t take care of yourself, nobody else would." advice from one senior manager in my first company.(1975-83)

Story Line: It was four o’ clock in the afternoon. Having no meeting for that hour, I went to the break room in one part of our company building. While sitting on a sofa, I noticed a guy sitting on one of the tables in the corner, eating something. A few minutes later his coworker walked in and asked, “Eating an early dinner?” To which he replied, “No, eating late lunch.” They chatted for a short while and then she left.

Having overheard the conversation, I approached the guy to confirm what I had heard that he was eating his lunch at four in the afternoon was true. To which he nodded yes. Even though it was not be any of my business, I felt compelled to ask the follow up question, “Do you have a family?” He told me that he had a wife and a little girl. I could see the shine on his face when he mentioned about his little girl. He seemed to know where my line of concerns/questions was heading. So before I could say anymore, he told me that his work had to be finished because of an aggressive project deadline.

I told him, “God forbid but if you don’t take care and something happened to you what would happen to your family?” I noticed the degree of concern building up on his face. I continued “My friend, in case something happened to you, the company policy allows only seventy five dollars for sympathy items; flowers take up most of it, and some department managers who are fanatic about cost might insist that the money must include the sympathy card and the delivery cost. A few friends from work might stop by to see your family for the first few months and then follow up with occasional phone calls to your wife. But in the most cases that’s as far as it would go. “Please take care of yourself first” I said. I believe he appreciated what he had heard. We had a very warm handshake before going our own ways.

A few weeks later, I saw him eating lunch in another breakroom of the company. It was two o’clock in the afternoon. Upon seeing me, he immediately said, “Making progress.” And we both smiled.

The very last time I saw him was in the hallway at 12:45 in the afternoon. As soon as he saw me, he signaled Thumbs Up. I expressed my pleasure with a smile.

Reflection: Why this story came to mind now? Last Year, seven people I knew from my 40 years in industry left this world. Five between the ages of 59 to 72 from one company I had worked for and the two at 79 and 88 from the first company I had worked for. One of the common messages that two of them gave to the friends who had come to visit them in their last days was: You have to take care of yourself first.

Happy New Year to All Readers Around The World.