Friday Reflections

Reach out and Touch Someone: Most Important Business Relations are personal ones.

Point to Ponder: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand him around. When I turned twenty one, I was amazed how much the old man had learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain   

Story Line: In the United States of America, upcoming Sunday is celebrated as Father’s Day. Many people have fond memories of their Father or a Fatherly figure or a Mentor in their lives. I would like to share one of mine.

When I was in high school, I noticed that my father spent a lot of time on phone talking and socializing with many people. I used to wonder, “This man has it easy. I have to go to school every day and then sweat over the homework and exams while this old man is having fun talking to people all day.”

Many years later, when I was working for a company in Arizona, my father visited my family. One day, my long contained curiosity prevailed and I asked, “How were you so successful literally doing nothing except talking to people; while people like me had to suffer through the years of schooling and now have to sweat every day to earn a productive living?” I wanted to know the secret of his success.

He pointed his first finger and said that the secret was right in the power of that finger. He used that finger to regularly keep in touch with people, either through dialing on phones or writing notes. Those people were not only his current business associates but also the friends from school and college days and people he met in various places (conferences, airports, trains, and previous business ventures).

He did not seem to know the modern day Network Theory terminology or the buzz words like Networking, but what he explained further as advantages of Human Relations falls right into the realms of those two areas.

Because of knowing a lot about people, he was able to quickly connect/help people (as well as get connected himself) who needed certain services with the ones who could provide those services. He used to call this his efficient Information Storage and Retrieval database. In Networking Theory terms, he acted as a Router (or others acted for his needs) and connected various Servers (people who had certain products and services) to workstations (People who needed those services). He felt that people spend a lot of time (Productivity Loss) in searching for right services or getting right customers.

Having good relationships not only saved a lot of search time but also saved relationship building (qualification) time. When you have maintained relationships with people, when you need to talk to them you don’t have to wait, sometimes for a long time, to get on their calendars. Since the other person knows you and your track record, credibility/goodwill is already established. In such cases, the matters are resolved with a quick phone call or a hallway chat.

He believed that when you keep in contact with many people, you are constantly aware of what is going on in this world; know opportunities for your talent and also about the opportunities to enhance your skills. In his opinion, this builds up a lot of confidence.

When you share your problems or dilemmas with others, you may find out that you are not the only one. They may have been through such issues and learning curves themselves. It is a great stress reliever when one does not feel isolated.

His concluding words were “The most important business relations are personal ones. Use the power of your finger to keep in touch on a daily basis. It is people who make things happen, not the machines.”

Reflection: Looking back, I appreciate how valuable this advice has been in enjoying my work, accomplishing many good things and building lifelong relationships. His other related advice has been equally valuable as well “Being able to work with people is one of the most important things in work and in life.” *

In late 80s one phone company came out with an advertisement “Reach out and touch someone. “Most important business relationships are personal ones.” Sounded familiar to me. I had heard that before. 

* Many past FR have covered real life stories on this subject and there will be many more in the future reflections.

The Long Road Back

POINT TO PONDER

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world. - Author Unknown

STORYLINE by Rajiv Shah
 
The Man stood in front of the mountain. Above, it's apex crested above the clouds. He took a deep breath, he needed it, as he had trekked from his home to this foreign land. By plane, by train, mule, and eventually by blistered feet he had arrived.

The place was different than the image he had in his mind. He had heard of the beauty of this place - of majestic mountain tops, goats that peacefully wandered the terrain, and air often perfumed with jasmine that grew nearby - but he found none of that now. The mountain was more daunting than majestic, there were no goats to be seen except for the carcass of a dead lamb ravaged, and the air was not filled with jasmine but rather sharp, crisp and burnt in his lungs.

He wanted to cry, he missed the wife and son he had left back at home. They supported him more than any other, encouraged his journey, and believed that he could scale the mountain that so many others failed to summit.

His wife had given him one of his son's wind-up toys, a little green frog that croaked, stuck out its tongue, and hopped around when wound up. She could be silly and it brought a smile to his face as he pulled it out of his rucksack and wound it up. He placed it onto the craggy face of the mountain and watched it struggle to hop on the uneven surface, straining, sliding, and eventually falling to it's side as the croaks diminished into silence. The frog was done, lying on its side, its little red tongue grotesquely cascading from it's mouth.

He picked up the frog and wondered if he should turn back. He now regretted leaving them at home without him, his wife imagining that he was doing great things. He thought he would find it here, in the solitude of this place. He put the frog into his breast pocket and took the first step. Then another. And another. And another...

After five days of climbing - battling violent night winds, diminishing air, and hypothermia – he ascended. A Boy awaited at the top, sitting quietly. He stared at the clouds surrounding them. The Boy was young, too young to be up there alone, and had a countenance that belied any pain or malice.

The Man couldn't believe that someone else, that this Boy had gotten there before him. He wanted to scream but didn't have the energy. Instead, he wiped the frost and discharge from around his eyes. He couldn't be sure if he was seeing things or not. He knew he had slowed the higher he climbed and each step was now a monumental effort.

“Hello,” the man whispered.
The Boy did not look.
“I'm... Are you real?”
“Are you,” the Boy asked.
He laughed painfully, “ I think so.”
Finally, the boy looked up at him, at the Man's emaciated frame and the frost bite on his lips. 
“Why have you come here?”
“No one has ever climbed this mountain. I wanted to be the first to do it.”
“Okay... Now you have.”
“But, I'm not really, you were up here before me.”
The Boy smiled and shook his head.

“You are the first. And what difference does it make if you got here first or I did? No one knows I'm here, nor will anyone believe you if you tell them about me. So congratulations, you are the first. Now what?”

The Man had never thought about this, about what would happen should he make it.

“I don't know, I thought that maybe it would make sense all of a sudden. That I could make a difference, leave my mark on the world. Now, all I can think of is my wife and son.”

The Boy thought for a second, “you have a wife and child?”

“Yes.”
“Well where are they?”
“Back at home, where I'm from.”
The Boy started to laugh.
“Why are you laughing?”   
 “You left your wife and child to climb this mountain?”
The Man was angry, after all the hardship he endured, he didn't deserve this type of ridicule.
“Why is that funny?”
“Because, you people come here, die even to scale this mountain, for what? To have your name in a book? To have strangers praise you? All that at the expense of your family?”
The Boy stopped and reconsidered his words.
“If you want to do something great go home and be the best father you can be to your child and the best husband you can be to your wife. That will have a far greater impact on this world than somebody reading your name in a book long after you have passed.”

The Man looked down at the path he had traveled, at the long road back. He turned to the boy but he was gone. The Man shook his head and laughed. The boy was a hallucination - a culmination of diminished oxygen - and nothing more, he thought. He took in the seclusion of the mountains and clouds surrounding him, finally satisfied that he was indeed the first.

Originally Published January 13, 2011. Reader's feedback from the original post are included in the comments section.

Age is inevitable. Aging isn't. *

Points to Ponder: Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. - Samuel Ullman

I intend to grow old naturally,

and I intend to enjoy it every step of the way.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.**

 

Reflection: A month ago, while waiting in the lobby of Doctor's office, I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting across me. He looked happy and the calmness that radiated from his face raised my curiosity. During conversation, I mentioned that I was 65 and starting to have all kinds of aches and pains in my body and the doctor had ordered many tests. His daughter who had accompanied him mentioned that only recently he was starting to have some ache and waiting for a lab test. He looked very healthy and seemed to be in late 70s or early 80s. During further conversation, I was surprised to learn that he was 102. I asked him what was the secret of healthy happy youthful  life. To which he answered: I paint every day. Art is his passion. When his name was called, I saw him standing up and walking straight, the cane was only as an insurance support. 

Sequel: Upon returning home, I found (by the grace of internet) that the humble man I had good fortune to meet is a well known artist who has followed his passion through life. There is a museum in his name in China and his work has been displayed in many countries. The city of Los Altos, where he has resided since coming to America in 1956, had special celebration for his 100th birthday. When one does what he loves, it is no longer work (or stress), it becomes the enjoyable way of life.

As I left doctor's office, I got up straight. Since then the results of multiple tests that were ordered because of that visit have come out good. I have never felt any better.

Every May, ACL leads USA's observance of Older Americans Month. The theme for 2019 is Connect, Create and Contribute.

Wishing a very Happy May to our fellow Older Americans from Friday Reflections Community. 

*Quote by Mark Levy   **Quote by Mark Twain

Spring Around The Pond

 

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' - Robin Williams

 

Give the ones you love wings to fly

 

Point to Ponder: I believe the children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. --- from The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston

Story Line: Late last year many of our friends were busy visiting various college campuses with their children who will be graduating soon. Now that the verdicts are in and college selections are made, great preparations are going on for the journey to the new world for children. For parents it is the time of mixed emotions; happy to know their children will enter the next phase of life while they will need to adjust to the life without them; an empty nest.

While we are getting the updates from our friends, one humming bird conducted parallel activity right by our window under the extended roof; she laid eggs, had two cute babies and cared for them until they flew out. My mother and I watched the entire process; me observing several times a day while my mother spending a lot more time. The journey from the birth to an empty nest are captured in the video at the top.

It was fascinating and educational to see how the hummingbird mom selected the location; safe from predators and environmental conditions. (But not good for our recently cleaned window.J).  Even during the gusty winds of 40 miles per hour, the nest and babies did not fall down. The location was hard for bandits like Raven, Blue Jays and Mocking Birds who were constantly scouting for newborns (Spring Feast) from a large pole or nearby trees. But this location would have been too hard for them to get in and easily fly out.

She also made sure to come for feeding only when the bandits were not around. When they were on the pole or trees, she would fly around them and then go inside some far tree to distract them about the location. She fed each baby for almost equal time.

Ten days after birth, the babies started flapping their wings in preparation for the upcoming flight. Reminded me about plane flights where pilots do pre-checks before starting take off. The first one took off on The Tax Day (4/15) and tried his newly acquired flying skills for a few hours. But it seemed that it had hard time catching bugs so returned to the nest to join the sibling for the family lunch-on. Seemed the mother had some words with him/her because after that meal he/she never returned to the nest but was seen catching bugs in flight with the mom. Guess the first time he/she had flown off without proper training. (not listening to parents to be patient)

The second one was a late bloomer. Seems like he/she had filed an extension and waited for two more days to fly off. And fly he/she did. Right in front of the Blue Jay waiting on the pole. Risk Taking, Near Miss or Confidence; Whatever. Mom made sure that the little one knows the danger by flying with him/her that afternoon and also conducted proper training in catching bugs.

For the past two days, my mom and I are dealing with an empty nest. On the positive side, all of them have come by to greet in early morning or late afternoon.

Reflection: There are so many similarities in how different species prepare their young ones for the world they would be living in. Watching the entire process was educational and pure joy. (Even Window cleaning will have pleasant memories.)

Many events of this story are captured in a short video at the top of this reflection.

As many parents are getting ready for dealing with an empty nest, I would end with the following thought: Be Happy-You Did Good.

Note: For countries with no Youtube Access Use Vimeo Platform Link: https://vimeo.com/331296081 

A Beautiful Message by Arthur Ashe : Why Me?

The legendary Wimbledon player who was dying of AIDS, which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: 

"Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease?" 

To this Arthur Ashe replied: 

50 Million children started playing Tennis, 

5 Million learnt to play Tennis, 

500 Thousand learnt Professional Tennis, 

50 Thousand came to Circuit, 

5 Thousand reached Grand Slam, 

50 reached Wimbledon, 

4 reached the Semifinals, 

2 reached the Finals and 

when I was holding the cup in my hand, I never asked God: 

"Why Me?" 

So now that I'm in pain how can I ask God: 

"Why Me?" 

Happiness keeps you Sweet! 

Trials keep you Strong! 

Sorrows keep you Human! 

Failure keeps you Humble! 

Success keeps you Glowing! 

But only, Faith keeps you Going! 

Sometimes you are not satisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life. 

A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead dreams of flying. but, a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse & dreams of returning home. 

That's life! 

Enjoy yours... 

If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets.
But only poor kids do that. 

If power ensures security, then VIPs should walk unguarded.
But those who live simply, sleep soundly. 

If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages.
Live simply, be happy! Walk humbly and love genuinel

 

*Thanks to Sujat Shah, a very engaged reader of FR and an incredible humble soul, from India for sharing this beautiful story. 

What does it take to take your idea/company of the ground?

Points to Ponder:

“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

Story Line: One childhood habit (fascination) that I have not been able to get rid of is to watch planes take off and fly. Even after all these years of growing up, I still go to San Francisco Airport a few times a month and spend couple of hours watching planes take off and land. 

What makes this magnificent creation of human mind and efforts; weighing more than half a million pounds (ex. 777, 747); soaring at 35000 feet; and traveling over 7000 miles without stopping; to take hundreds of passengers safely to their destination? 

Based on Aerodynamics, four forces are constantly at works to enable a plane to fly: Thrust, generated by engines and propellers, is responsible for forward motion of the plane. Drag, created by air resistance, slows down the forward motion. Thrust has to be greater than Drag for a plane to move forward. This is enabled through right powered engines and streamlined design. The third force is Weight, a gravitational force responsible for downward motion. And the final force is Lift, created by a balancing force of wind beneath the wings, which counters weight and pushes plane upwards. And most of the planes need one more and very important force, a human one: A Pilot.

So what do all these have to do with your idea or a company? This is where Human dynamics comes into play. You are the Pilot (inventor or entrepreneur) who needs to convert your idea (dream) into reality (destination). You are the pilot (employee, manager or a leader) who constantly needs to create more value for your stakeholders (investors, employees, customers and suppliers). You have to have the strong Thrust (Belief in your vision, Passion, Courage to move forward) to overcome the Drag (Ney Sayers, Roadblocks). You have to have the Lift (Willpower, efficient organization design) to rise above the Weight (Bureaucracy, Resource Constraints). You have to create a flight path (charter a course) and put your ideas/projects in motion.

How many planes return to terminal after the boarding gates close? How many times, or did you ever, hear about a pilot giving up once the plane reaches V speed of 150-180 miles/hour? Once you put your idea/project in motion, it reaches a takeoff point where forces of Lift (Passion) and Thrust (Willpower) overcome the forces of Drag and Weight. Yes, it takes a lot to get a plane off the ground. And there begins your journey to your destination.

But the journey is not over yet. What happens when a plane encounters turbulence or unexpected event? The pilot looks at the monitors (data) and makes necessary adjustments to altitude or flight path. How many instances do you know where a pilot has given up on destination (goal) or start a brand new journey (a program of the month/year) or dropped the plane all together? In such cases, not only that the passengers would not reach their destination; but it would also waste tremendous resources and do a great disservice to your stakeholders. Won’t it?

And what about a situation where the plane is cruising at 35000 feet in a nice weather (project/ organization is functioning well). It is in auto pilot mode (called Empowerment in corporate world). There are real time monitors and indicators constantly flashing. There are bells and whistles to flag abnormalities. Does it mean the pilot can sit back and take it easy? (Delegate his leadership?).

Reflection: Any entrepreneur or a successful leader never takes his eye off the ball. They are constantly monitoring their flight and do make necessary course correction; but they do not give up until they reach their destination.

And guess what? There is an old Airline saying, “A plane makes money only when it is in the air.” Similarly an entrepreneur or a good leader never rests. They are ready to take off to the next destination as soon as new passengers are on board.

What kind of people do you work with?

 

 

Point to Ponder: Wherever there is a town, there is treasure and there is trash. It all depends on what you see (or what you are looking for).

 

Story Line (an old Sufi story customized for work environment): A tale to remember when looking for a new job, or even a new organization, culture/country/city to move to.  

 

A guy was in his final job interview with the hiring manager. The guy said, "I am deciding whether I should move here or not- and I wonder what people here are like?" 

The hiring manager said, "Tell me what kind of people work in your current company?" 

The guy said, "Nothing but politicians, idiots, and self-centered people." The hiring manager said, "You know, that is exactly the kind of people you will find here, too." So the guy left and never came back.

 

Another person came for an interview at the same place and asked the same question of the hiring manager. "I am thinking of moving here- can you tell me what kind of people work in your company?"

Again, the hiring manager asked, "Tell me what kind of people work in your current company?" 

The new person said, "Oh, they are kindest, brightest, most teamwork-oriented, compassionate people. I really love them. I shall miss them terribly." The hiring manager said, "Those are exactly the kinds of people you will find here, too."

 

Reflection: What are the fondest memories of places you have lived, worked and traveled? What are the greatest things about your current environment?

Don't burn your Bridges

Point to Ponder: You meet some of the same people going up as you do going down

Storyline: (.. applies to all ages, but great for the young and the restless.)

Once upon a time, there was a young fellow named Andy who graduated with high credentials and got a job within a respected company. Bright that he was, he started doing good work and received numerous recognitions. His group also had a very good manager named Joe Z, whom everyone liked and respected immensely.

As often happens in industry, such managers move on to do bigger and better things, and Joe Z got promoted. The company brought in a replacement manager from outside, who had a very crude and rough style in dealing with people.

Not happy with the new manager, Andy found multiple job offers outside and handed in his resignation. Joe Z, his old manager who was now the Director, told him how much he respected his talent and needed his further contributions. Joe requested that Andy be patient for a while and stay on.

Young and restless that he was, Andy declined. Joe advised him "It is not good to leave in anger. I advise that you don't burn your bridges". This young and yet immature fellow replied, "I don't burn bridges, I bomb them" (no traces left behind).  He left angrily anyway.

As fate would have it, thirteen years later, during an economic downturn, Andy badly needed a contract for the consulting business he had established after a few years of working. Andy bid for one contract where his proposal was selected for the final stages of the approval cycle - the presentation to the top management of the client company.

He was waiting in the conference room for the top management people to arrive, and as soon as Andy saw the first person to walk in, drops of perspiration started flowing all over his face. That person was Joe Z, his old boss, who had moved to this new company several years ago. Andy saw all his dreams of winning the contract evaporating.

Surprisingly, Joe Z approached him and gave him a hug. Smiling, Joe said to him "Don't worry. I had done very similar thing in my early career as you did with me. But I know that you realize that you have learned  a very valuable lesson in life today. Go ahead and Break a Leg (make a great presentation)"

Relieved, Andy did well in his presentation and got the contract.

Reflection: Going through ups and downs, and at times dealing with seemingly unreasonable situations, is all part of growing up - and no one has been spared from those agonies. What differentiates a pro from an amateur is how one responds to variety of situations and conquers them with a great attitude. Especially since understanding and compassionate people like Joe Z are so rare.

This reflection was originally published on April 3, 2008. Reader's views from original reflection are in the comment section. Reflections are periodically repeated because of new audiences and reflecting on the learning from the originals by veteran readers.

Children seldom misquote you

Point to Ponder: Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Story Line: Last week our four years old grandson had come over for bonding time with us. In one of his previous visits he had noticed a statue of Buddha in our garden and asked several questions about it.  From then on he calls us “Buddha Grand Pa and Buddha Grand Ma” and other Grand Parents by another special name; I guess it must be for clarity in communication.

While he was at our place, we took him on many field trips including a visit to Intel Museum. On the way, the little guy asked, “What does Intel do?” We told him that Intel made silicon chips.

To that he said: WOW! I like chips. I will eat a lot.

We told him: You can’t eat those chips. But he kept insisting that he wanted to eat them.

Unable to persuade him with technical explanations, we resorted to the last option “You can’t eat them. They are made with poisonous chemicals “

In the late evening he was FaceTime with his parents and cautioned them “Don’t eat Intel chips. They have poison in them”

As the call ended and realizing that he needed to follow his routine of taking bath before going to sleep, I told him in hurry “ Go and tell Grand Ma, I want to take bath now.”

A few minutes later he returned and said “I told Buddha Grand Ma that you want to take bath now.”

Reflection: Yes indeed, clear and crisp communication has been my area of improvement (IR) and it has resulted in many funny episodes in and out of home all my life. But no major harm done and a lot of entertainment.