Friday Reflections

Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit

“Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit”

Point to Ponder:

Winning is not a sometime thing, it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.” - Vince Lombardi

Story Line:

“Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit” -- proven through the ages by successful companies, people and teams.

2009 Baseball playoff: prior to this season, the Red Sox had eliminated the Angels in post season four times, including the past two seasons. They met again last week in the playoff. In the ninth inning, the Red Sox were leading 6-4 and the Angels were down to their last out. Jonathan Pabelbon, a pitcher who had not yielded a run in 26 post-season innings, was on the mound for the Red Sox. But the Angles rallied to score three runs, winning the game and the series.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot ... and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed."

- Michael Jordan, who was cut from his high school basketball team because of his "lack of skill"

When Einstein was young, his parents thought he was mentally retarded. He dropped out of school at age 15 due to poor grades. In 1905, he published four research papers that outlined his theories on relativity, equivalence of mass and energy (e=mc2), Brownian motion, and the photon theory of light. The theory of relativity was very controversial, and although it was proven in 1919, the Nobel committee did not mention it when bestowing the prize.

Walt Disney declared bankruptcy after a couple of years in business. A few years later he created Mickey Mouse.

Beethoven lost his hearing yet managed to produce great music.

Akio Morita founded Sony Corporation. His first product was an electric rice cooker that burned rice rather than cooking and was a big flop. Today, Sony is one of the largest electronic companies in the world with many great products.

Reflection:

There is a professor at MIT who offers a course on failure. He does that, he says, because failure is a far more common experience than success. An interviewer once asked him if anybody ever failed the course on failure. He thought a moment and replied, "No, but there were two Incompletes."

"Adios Amigo" - It's not how long you live, it is how well you live

 "You either gotta get busy living, or get busy dying." - Patrick Swayze narrating a quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption in January 2009 interview with Barbara Walters. 

“No matter what opinion Hollywood has of you, the fans never forget you if you never forget them.” - Patrick Swayze in Entertainment Weekly Interview.

 

Story Line: “Adios Amigo” It is not how long you live, it is how well you live.

His role as dance instructor in the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’ captured millions of hearts and put him on the world map but his role in the movie ‘Ghost’ sealed his destiny.  

Patrick Swayze was a dancer, actor and a singer. Dancing was in his genes. His mother was a choreographer, dancer and a dance instructor and introduced him to dancing at an early age. Acting came later as an extension of his love for stage, and that did not stop until his last days on this earth. 

In January 2008, Patrick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given weeks to live by medical experts. But he decided to fight it out. While undergoing treatment, he continued doing what he loved. He continued acting in the TV series ‘The Beast’ which premiered on January 2009. He also continued his charity work and raising awareness about dangers of smoking and cancer (the major cause suspected for his cancer). 

He considered himself a fighter and put up a good fight until last Monday, September 14th. He had continued following his life long passion and doing what he loved until his last day. As he said in his last interview “Only thing you really can take with you when you die is the love you have.” 

A short clip of the interview in 2007 gives an excellent view of his values: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCIlT1f5Mpg&feature=related

 

Reflection:

Certain lives stand out from the crowd. Patrick Swayze’s was one such journey; full of passion and love for his audience, his family and his work. Not a day went by where he did not give in his best in pursuit of his passion. He left the world stage at a young age of 57. But to take a line out of JK Rowling’s famous speech “It is not how long you live, it is how well you live.”

So using words from his movie ‘Point Break’: Adios Amigo. You lived up to your song “Time of my Life”

 

Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences.

Increasingly, Bill Gates says, he values "people who have the long-term commitment, who can deal with the ups and downs, with the unfair things that happen to them."

Story Line:  

As a child, she enjoyed writing fantasy stories.

In 1990, her mother died, after her ten-year battle with multiple sclerosis. The loss affected her deeply.

In 1992, she moved to Portugal to teach English as a foreign language.

In 1993, she separated from her husband.

A single mother, she moved back to her home country with a one year old daughter.

In 1995, while unemployed and on welfare, she wrote a novel using an old manual typewriter.

The manuscript was submitted to twelve publishing houses; all of them rejected it.

A year later, editor of a small publishing house decided to publish a few copies because his eight year old daughter read the story and loved it.

Although he agreed to publish the book, he advised her to get a day job, since she had little chance of making money in books for children.

A few years later, Forbes named Joanne "Jo" Murray (aka JK Rowling) as the first person to become a U.S.-dollar billionaire by writing books, the second-richest female entertainer and the 1,062nd richest person in the world. She gives away millions in donations every year.

Reflection:  "There is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you are fighting for"  -Paulo Coelho

Who can guess that precise moment when your world is going to change?

Two weeks ago Christopher from Canada sent us a note:

"Thanks for continuously sharing these amazing stories that serve as inspiration and enlightenment at anytime...anywhere. One suggestion though, while repeating the principle or idea highlighted in FR's, would it be possible to showcase such re-released principle or idea in another example or story? That would more flavors and put more gravity to the truth behind the principle/idea."

Well, here we go Christopher:

"The dream does not begin unless you do. Too many wait for just the right time and just the right place to act. The very act of waiting actually pushes the desired event away. You must do in order to be."
     - From the book 'Ping: A Frog in Search of a New Pond', by Stuart Avery Gold

Story Line:

Last weekend, we visited a friend that we knew since our college days. While we were talking, she shared an interesting story about the fourteen year-old son of one of her friends in India.

This boy had big dreams to become an actor, but his parents were not very enthusiastic about the idea. The persistent son refused to drop the subject, and eventually convinced his parents to let him try - in exchange for getting good grades in school of course. So, photos were taken, and resumes were submitted to an agent.

A few months later, the boy got an audition call for a small new independent movie called Slumdog Millionaire. He was cast in a leading role, as the 'middle' Salim in the movie.  For those of you who haven't heard, this small movie went on to win eight Academy Awards and worldwide fame.

This story got me interested in finding out more about the making of Slumdog Millionaire, so I dug a little deeper:

1. Vikas Swarup, an avid reader and quizzer, had not written anything beyond his school days. But after reading a news report about slum children, he got the idea to juxtapose a quiz show format with the life story of an unusual contestant - a penniless waiter, living in the biggest slum in Asia. He wanted to show that knowledge is not the preserve of the educated elite, and that even a 'street-kid' can possess the wisdom to win a quiz show. In 2005, at the age of 42, he took a shot at writing the book "Q and A", which was the inspiration for Slumdog Millionaire, and which now is translated into 40 different languages. The BBC has even bought options to create a film based on his second book, "Six Suspects".

2. Many others involved in this improbable success story have similar stories. The lead actress (Freida Pinto) has recently been signed for Hollywood films at $3 million.  Two young actors who came from real slums have 2.5 million rupees in the bank for their education and upbringing.  Most importantly, the movie has raised international awareness of plights of people in slums.

Reflection:

All of these people had the courage to follow their dreams. No one can tell when the precise moment your fortune will change, but your "Dream does not begin until you do ... you must do in order to be."

Ask one more question ...

“Ask one more question, try one more time” ... from a Southern California School to Silicon Valley during the recession of the mid 1970s.

“When we meet brick walls in life, don’t be depressed. Brick walls are there for a reason – they let us prove how badly we want things. Brick walls are there to distinguish people who don’t really want things.”  - Randy Pausch (Thanks to Joseph Ding from Dalian China for sending the quote)

Story Line: “Ask one more question, try one more time”  -Pravin R. Shah 

Here is a story of the fellow I know who got admitted for BS in Electrical Engineering at a University in Los Angeles. He already had a BS degree in Physics, but the University did not recognize his previous school program and had asked him to spend four years for Bachelor’s program.

On the second day, while waiting for his first meeting with the advisor, he noticed a poster by the department announcing a new masters degree program with focus on Semiconductors, an emerging technology. Looking at the details, he noticed that the prerequisite was background in Physics.  He got very interested and inquired further - and after a few meetings with two professors he was sent to the department head for final interview. The head expressed concern that he did not have BS degree from an approved university, to which the fellow replied, “How about if you give me chance for one semester and if I fail, send me back to BS program. I assume the risk of one semester worth of time and lost fees.”

18 months from then, he graduated with a Masters degree instead of spending four years getting a BS. The next challenge was to find a job during the extremely bad economic conditions.

It so happened that a few months before graduating, he had attended a seminar at UCLA, a school across town, where two guest speakers were executives from Silicon Valley - then an emerging area for Semiconductor companies. After the seminar, he talked to the guest speakers and asked “How can I get more information about Silicon Valley?” They were gracious enough to give him their business cards, and so he followed up with periodic phone calls to inquire about Silicon Valley.

As soon as the graduation ceremony was over, the fellow went to Silicon Valley. He called the people he had met at UCLA. Both of them were kind enough to invite him to their companies for a short chat.  Both gave him a good orientation about Silicon Valley, but told him that it will be challenging to find a job in the extremely bad economic situation. While leaving one of their offices, he asked “There are not many job ads in the papers. Is there any other thing I should try?” Francis suggested looking at postings at local university placement offices.

What happened then may seem unreal or a dream, but I know it to be absolutely true. He stopped by Santa Clara University on the way back and found a fresh job posting by a company in Mountain View, looking for a student to work on a project for VATE process technology. Unimaginable, in his Masters program, the fellow had worked on Convergent Geometry diode using VATE type processing.

The interviews went very well, but then the next hurdle surfaced. The job was approved for only a junior engineer/technician level person, and they did not have budget for Masters level salaries. But this fellow asked the hiring manager “What if I take what you can afford, take Junior Engineer title and still give you what is expected from Masters level candidate?”

The final thing that came up was that the Human Resources department wanted a character reference from a local person. A strange request, but many strange things happen with some departments ...

He called Francis and told him about the request. Again Francis was too generous, and agreed to give the reference and directly called the hiring manager.

Reflection:

Months after he had established himself in the company and developed excellent credibility, this fellow asked his boss about what Francis had said about him. This is verbatim from the boss: "Francis told me about how you met. You were one of very few who approached him after the seminar. Only two kept in touch and you came down to see him. You asked many questions and even while leaving his office you still kept inquiring about things. Francis said that he did not know your technical ability but he can attest to your persistence, inquisitiveness and interest in keeping relationships. He told me: Charlie, it is worth taking chance on this kid. He will do good.”

Nine months into the job, Charlie called this fellow in his office and handed over an envelope. This fellow has shown me what was inside and I have made a copy with his permission. Two words on that evaluation paper have stuck with me: “Policy Exception” signed by the Chief Executive of the division of that Fortune 50 company. You can guess what else was in that envelope.

“Ask one more question, try one more time.”

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.

The three stages in the life of a dreamer and risk taker:

1. When others first hear about their ideas, they say: "He/she is not practical, the ideas are at 50,000 foot level".
2. If he/she still continues pursuing the idea, people say he/she has gone CRAZY.
3. Once the idea becomes reality, people fondly recollect: I knew him/her then. “The first time I met that lad/girl, I knew he/she was different and going to make it BIG.”
   (Success has many followers...)

Story Line: You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.

Paulo Coelho was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil to a father who was an engineer. When their son started getting into artistic ventures at the age of 16 instead of normal career pursuits (e.g. engineer, doctor, lawyer), Paulo’s parents got worried that something was wrong with their boy. His parents took him for psychiatric evaluation and later admitted him to a mental institution. He spent time in mental institution twice before the age of 18, just for not being a “normal” kid. When he started a theatrical venture, he was again (for the third time) taken for mental consultation by his parents. In his 20s, he joined progressive political movements, was imprisoned and also kidnapped. By then his parents had already given up on him.  

Paulo believed that his personal legend was to write. But his early age dream of being a writer encountered lots of setbacks. He took all kinds of jobs to survive but never dropped his lifelong love for writing. At the age of 38, his first book was published with little success in the marketplace. His second book, The Alchemist, was published in 1988 when he was 41. It sold only 900 copies, and the first publisher dropped the book. Paulo tried to find another publisher with no success. Both his first books did not do well until he published his third one. That book gave him enough exposure for readers to explore his first two books.

The Alchemist, a novel that explores his theme about following one’s personal legend, got noticed and made him an international bestselling author. The Alchemist has been translated in 66 languages and has sold more than 65 million copies in more than 150 countries, becoming one of the best-selling books in history. Combined with his other books, his total number of sales exceeds 100 million copies.

Reflection:

Paulo Coelho once said: “Following your dream is like learning a foreign language; you will make mistakes but you will get there in the end.”

Here is an excellent review of The Alchemist: http://bookreviews.nabou.com/reviews/thealchemist.html

Thought precedes actions

"All that a person achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his/her own thoughts."

Story Line (from "The Psychology of Winning" by Denis Waitley):

It's the baseball world series: the New York Yankees versus the Milwaukee Braves.  The game has gone down to the wire.  It's the ninth inning, and the score is tied.  There are 2 men on base and 2 men out. The pitch count is 3-2. On the mound is one of the greatest left handed pitchers of the time, Warren Spahn.  At bat is the great Yankee catcher Elson Howard.

The Braves manager decides to come out of the dugout to give some encouraging, motivational advice to Warren. "Don't give him a high outside pitch" said the manager, and walked back to the dug out. Warren wondered "Don't give him a high fast ball?  Why did he have to tell me in that way, why is he telling me what not to do?"

Too late ... as obvious as a neon sign, Warren throws that high fast ball his mind was obsessing over. The Yankee player smashes the ball out of the park and the game is over.  The Yankees win and Braves loose.

Warren wondered for the rest of his life "Why would anyone motivate someone with the reverse of an idea?" Winners know that all of their actions are controlled by their currently dominant thoughts.  Winners focus on the rewards of success, not the penalty of failure.

Reflection:

A few points to ponder from an article "Positive Talk" sent by Anil Deora, Selina Saw and Thad Gardner:

Specific words affect our mental pictures, the words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. The mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all.

You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.  Psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

Tough times do not last, but tough people do ...

"Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies”
- from the movie Shawshank Redemption

 

Storyline: 

In these times of global financial crisis, stock market meltdowns, wars and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s.  Here is her story:

She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. At the age of 12, she lost both her parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.

During the second world war, most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. After the war, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.

Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. A year later, another teenage son met with an accident and died, while trying to help the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.

Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself.  She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.

Eventually she went abroad and for the last 27 years her life has turned for the better. Last December, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”

“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”

Reflection: 

Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witness every time I see her. Last Sunday, I chatted with her about the current global problems.  She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”

The Little Climber That Could

Technique and ability alone do not get you to the top — it is the will power that is the most important. This will power you cannot buy with money or be given by others — it rises from your heart.”
   -Junko Tabei, first woman ever to climb Mount Everest

Story Line:

The story of Junko Tabei is one of ambition and persistence. She had a love for nature, and there was something about mountains that was breathtaking to her. Her aspirations were to climb the highest mountains.

These were unconventional dreams for a woman to have. Especially one who stood at a mere 4 feet 9 inches. However, Tabei made up for her small size in determination.

Finally, in the spring of 1975, Tabei achieved her dreams by leading an all-Japanese female expedition up Mt. Everest. On the way up, they encountered obstacles typical of the mountains. The most extreme was an avalanche which injured the climbers, but not severely enough to go back.

On May 16, 1975, Junko Tabei became the first woman in the world to reach the summit of Mount Everest.

Incidentally Tabei wasn’t satisfied with just Everest. She is also the first woman to successfully climb the summits of the highest peaks on all seven continents.

Reflection:

Like Junko, all winners in life set high expectations. But whenever they are met with difficulties, and there will always be difficulties, they do not lower their expectations. They figure out different approaches to reach their ultimate goal and they keep going in the direction of their dream until they achieve it.

So, you have problems? No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!"

 

"Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow."  ~William Pollard

Storyline:

So, you have problems - No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!" - Author Unknown

"Don't worry if you have problems!" is easy to say until you are in the midst of a really big one, I know. But the only people I am aware of who don't have troubles are gathered in little neighborhoods. Most communities have at least one. We call them cemeteries.

If you're breathing, you have difficulties. It's the way of life. And believe it or not, most of your problems may actually be good for you!

Let me explain.

Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question.

"I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?"

The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms - surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces." Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."

That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive!

Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness.

So, you have problems - No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!"